TresSugar

5 Sex Lessons From the Animal Kingdom

DearSugar — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 15:00:00 -0800

A recent study shows that deer mice are monogamous and have "superior stress tolerance and blood sugar regulation." That would make us think that for humans, a monogamous relationship would prove to offer health benefits, but what else can we learn from the animal kingdom? Here are the first five of 10 sex lessons from a recent MSNBC article and my interpretation of each one. I'll warn you, some of these are a little out there, but enjoy!

Do not turn sex into warfare: If you nag your guy and pressure him into having intimacy, it'll drive him away and you both could end up unhappy.
Avoid weaponizing your penis: If a guy pierces his business or does anything else that may make sex painful to a woman, she won't want to engage in the act with him.

To see the other lessons read more.

Try woman on top: Guys like to be on top so they can be in control of the speed and depth of intercourse. If the woman is on top though, there's a better chance sex will last longer, so she's more likely to have an orgasm. If she has an orgasm, the guy will end up feeling very proud and confident that he can please his lady. This in turn will translate to having sex more often. Win-win.
For a great afterglow, choose an orgy: I don't know about this one. Rats have been known to mate in groups and switch partners in the middle of copulation. While free love sounds fun, given today's rates of STIs, this just doesn't seem safe.
Gifts don’t always work: If you're having issues in the intimacy department, a dozen roses from the guy won't necessarily solve a sexual conflict.

To see the next five lessons, check out MSNBC's article by clicking here.

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Grab Bag: What One Woman Learned From Judy Blume

TresSugar — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0800

Writer tells us 8 high school sex lessons she learned from Judy Blume. - Lemondrop
Right on! A Golden Girls Bea Arthur tattoo. - Best Week Ever
Can you start from square one with an ex? - Em & Lo
GPS panties? Awesome if your boyfriend is a stalker. - The Frisky
What your closet says about your dating life. - Your Tango
If I'm so crazy, why do people keep having sex with me? - The Onion
The "best" of Levi Johnston's Twitter. Wow, dude. - Buzzfeed
Did you like your past boyfriends' names? - Glamour
The comics world isn't just a boys' club anymore. - Double X
Emma Thompson to remove name from petition supporting Roman Polanski. - Jezebel

Do Tell: What Was the Biggest Lesson You Learned This Year?

DearSugar — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 06:00:00 -0800

Since the end of the year is fast approaching, I thought it would be a good time to look back on 2007 and reflect on what you did and what you learned. If you're like me, you had your fair share of ups and downs this year, so ladies, do tell: What was the biggest lesson you learned through it all in '07?

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Where Do You Stand: Taking Dance Lessons Before Your Wedding?

DearSugar — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 15:00:00 -0700

The first dance as husband and wife is an exciting moment for all newlyweds. Even though all eyes are on them, it's their chance to be close, tell secrets, and just have fun together before mingling with all their guests. As you know, the songs to most first dances are either romantic or they hold a special meaning to the couple, but some opt for a fun twist on the first dance, choreography and all. But even if you don't have some elaborate routine, many couples, especially those with two left feet, need a little help in the dance department. While I think the first dance should come from the heart, tell me where you stand on dance lessons before weddings. Do you think it looks good to have every step mapped out beforehand, or do you think spontaneity is best?

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Do Tell: What Words of Wisdom Do You Loathe to Hear?

DearSugar — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Whenever I'm single, people will say things like, “It’ll happen when you least expect it,” or "Enjoy this time while you can," and it's infuriating to me. It seems so condescending and that I'm just on the hunt for my future husband. While I do agree that meeting the right person always happens at the most unexpected moment, when you’ve hit a dry spell, it’s just not what you want to hear. Since there are so many phrases such as these out there, do tell ladies, what words of wisdom are you just sick of hearing?

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What Is Your Greatest Lesson Learned?

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:00:00 -0800

Breakups are never fun, and they almost always take an adjustment of some kind. If it ends badly, we often come out of it with a lot of regrets or issues that we need time to mull over, but fortunately, once we work through them, we usually end up learning a lot about ourselves. These are the kind of lessons that influence your future relationships, allow you to give your friends advice, and just might be the wisdom you pass down to your children one day.

Needless to say, whether we come out of a breakup feeling relieved or heartbroken, we usually walk away with understanding we didn't have before. I've learned that it's okay if it's not meant to be; a relationship is about being with someone that makes you happy, not about proving a point. What's the biggest lesson you've learned from a relationship?

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Pro Gay Marriage Ad: The Mormons Are Coming!

TresSugar — Fri, 29 May 2009 09:59:04 -0700

California taught East Coast supporters of same-sex marriage a valuable lesson: the Mormon church is a force to be reckoned with. The organized and well-funded church did a good job mobilizing voters in favor of "traditional marriage" to successfully pass Prop. 8. Hoping to mobilize themselves for the battles in other states, one marriage equality group placed ads on newspaper websites warning that "The Mormons are coming! The Mormons are coming!"

The group has been told that its ads were insulting and denigrating to a set of people based on their religion. The founder of the group says he thinks Mormons are the nicest people and that his "single goal is to get them out of the same-sex marriage business and back to helping hurricane victims."

I would imagine that Mormons would get a lot of heat for running ads claiming that the "The gays are coming! The gays are coming!" Should people fighting for marriage rights be more respectful of their opponents, or do they have no obligation to be tolerant of those who want to infringe on their rights?

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Grab Bag: Prince Explains Why He Doesn't Vote

TresSugar — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 12:00:00 -0700

Prince explains why he doesn't vote. - Jezebel
The 13 kinds of casual sex. - Em & Lo
Can you make the honeymoon phase in your relationship last forever? - Smitten
Sad robot has a lesson for us all. - Videogum
Reddit helps a man find his birth mother after 21 years. - Urlesque
How to tell someone you're not interested in them. - The Frisky
A sex worker's guide to Craigslist. - The Daily Beast
Men - not necessarily more promiscuous than women. - Lemondrop

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Looking For DearSugar?

DearSugar — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:30:03 -0700

Looking for DearSugar? From now on, all of the Sugar network's love and sex coverage can be found at TrèsSugar.com, our new sex and culture site. Be sure to visit TrèsSugar for relationship advice, daily horoscopes, sexual health information, and more.

Don't worry: You can still revisit all of your favorite DearSugar posts on TrèsSugar, where we'll be archiving Dear's old content. Meanwhile, I'll be moving to another Sugar site, although I'll miss you all terribly. The great questions, comments, and advice you've offered over the years have taught me a tremendous amount about friendship, love, forgiveness, and commitment. Thank you for all of the lessons I've learned. I look forward to seeing you elsewhere on the Sugar network!

365 Days to Sexual Satisfaction?

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Even the most sexually-inclined couple is unlikely to fathom having sex every day for a year straight, but a recent article in the Style section of the New York Times discusses one couple who did just that. Charla Muller decided to celebrate her husband Brad's 40th birthday by giving him the gift that keeps on giving: sex, once a day for a year. And she followed through, too!

While it might be more exciting to say that the Muller's year of sex led to a level of sexual satisfaction neither had ever dreamed of, the results were actually a bit more subtle. Charla refers to it as "a really meaningful lesson," which according to the sex experts is to be expected. The article notes:

Shoshana Bulow, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist in Manhattan, pointed out that sex is a lot more complicated than frequency. “There’s all sorts of reasons people lose interest in sex with their partner - disappointments, life cycles, financial issues,” she said. “Just having it isn’t going to resolve those.” Nonetheless, sex every day seems to have worked for the Mullers. Charla said:

It required a daily kindness and forgiveness, and not being cranky or snarky, that I don’t think either of us had experienced before.

Though the Mullers gained a new perspective, for some, 365 days of sex might be a deterrent to emotional connection, but what do you think? Is a sexual marathon brilliant for a couple in need of a relationship revamp? Are there any circumstances under which you would you be willing to give it a go?

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