TresSugar

Why Does the Pill Decrease Your Sex Drive?

DearSugar — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Last week I asked how you felt about taking hormonal birth control, and the majority of you responded overwhelmingly that you're all for it. Even with the annoying side effects like moodiness, breast tenderness, and occasional weight gain, you thought that the near-perfect effectiveness when it comes to pregnancy prevention was worth it.

For many women though, taking hormones to control the cycle can affect your libido. To find out why, just read more.

Many women complain of sexual side effects while on the pill. This is because the pill has the ability to decrease the frequency of some women's sexual thoughts, and the hormones can make it more difficult for her to get aroused. It can also decrease natural lubrication, so if she does have sex, it can be painful. Some studies even say that these effects can last for months after a woman stops taking the pill.

The reason this happens may have to do with the drug's effect on a woman's testosterone levels, which is thought to help drive her desire. The hormones block testosterone production in the ovaries and increase the production of the protein that attaches to testosterone to make it inactive.

This isn't always the case, and some women may actually experience an increase in sex drive. Different hormones affect each woman differently, so if one pill isn't working for you, it may take some trial and error to find one that does. Some women may also benefit from switching to a different form of hormonal birth control such as the NuvaRing or the patch. So if you're experiencing a lull in the bedroom and you suspect it's from your birth control, make an appointment with your gyno to discuss other options because hey, there's no point being on birth control if you aren't into having sex!

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Relationship Protocol: Who Has the Stronger Sex Drive?

DearSugar — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700

The desire for sex varies from person to person, and can range anywhere from a constant urge to a complete lack of interest. Essentially there’s no right answer for how often you should or shouldn’t want sex, but if you’re in a relationship, finding a mutual balance will go a long way in creating a harmonious sexual connection. I’m sure you all have your own happy medium, but ladies, in general, how does your sex drive differ from his?

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Group Therapy: My Boyfriend Wants Me Off the Pill

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 03:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend claims that our sex life was better before I got on the pill, and I do agree. However, he has been increasingly persistent with me, telling me that I should stop taking the pill so that I can increase my sex drive. I am hesitating for two reasons. I am still in college and I only get to see him once a month on a weekend. And I feel like there are more health benefits that come from staying on the pill. My periods are terrible and only having to deal with them every four months is amazing for me.

I can understand why he wants me off it (although I don't think that my sex drive is really that bad) but at the same time, it just doesn't make sense to me because I hardly see him. He really doesn't understand, though, and says that it would be nice if I came off of it to make him happy. He sulks when I tell him that I haven't stopped yet and usually won't talk to me for awhile. I am getting really sick of this, and I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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This or That: Weight Loss or Increased Sex Drive?

DearSugar — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 07:00:00 -0700

After working with your gynecologist to find a birth control method that’s better at preventing your terrible PMS and cramps, you’ve finally decided on one that sounds promising. And after taking it for only a few months, you notice some big changes, both good and bad. Would it be worse if . . .

This: Your PMS has totally disappeared along with 10 pounds, but so has your sex drive? You’ve never felt better about your body, but less in the mood.

Or . . .

That: You’ve got control of your cramps, and find yourself consistently in the mood to get frisky, but you’ve also packed on more weight than you're comfortable with? You've tried amping up the exercise, but it's not going away.

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Group Therapy: What's Going on With My Sex Drive?

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:00:00 -0700

I am 24 years old and have been married for a year. When I started dating my husband I was 21 years old and a virgin. It was no problem for me to be turned on, and I actually considered myself to have a high sex drive. Because of a heavy workload and not taking care of myself, I lost too much weight and stopped having my period. Along with all of this came a severe drop in my sex drive.

As soon as we were married I was able to decrease my workload and really focus on getting myself healthy again. Now my weight has stabilized and my period has returned. However, my sex drive still seems to be absent. I rarely, if ever, am truly turned on. I also now tend to be pretty dry, which is embarrassing to even mention!

We normally have sex four to five times per week, which I think is too much for me, but I do it for him because I love him and I know men need the sexual connection with their wives. But I have considered decreasing to twice a week so that when we do have sex, I am more into it and can put more energy into seduction and romance. I need your opinions. Is this happening because of my past weight loss? The fact that he is the only one I’ve ever slept with? Or could it be that this is just how I am?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Not in the Mood? Have Some Watermelon

DearSugar — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Have you or your honey been less than excited to get busy lately? If so, don't start popping Cialis or Levitra pills just yet. A quick trip to the produce aisle or your local farmers' market to pick up some juicy, sweet watermelon could do the trick, and no, this is not a joke! Researchers at Texas A&M are reporting that the ingredient in watermelon known as citrulline may help to increase a person's libido. When you consume watermelon, citrulline is converted to arginine, which is an amino acid that benefits your heart and circulatory system. Arganine also boosts levels of nitric oxide in your body, which helps to relax blood vessels, much like Viagra does. Consuming this fruit may even prevent erectile dysfunction. It seems that the rind has higher concentrations of citrulline, so scientists are working on developing a variety of watermelon that has higher concentrations in the pink fleshy part.

I'm in full support of anything that puts you in the mood for love so have a slice (or 12) of watermelon this holiday weekend! Enjoy!

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You Asked: His Sex Drive Has Disappeared

DearSugar — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 16:48:46 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. In the beginning, he was crazy about me and more into me, sexually speaking, than I was into him. At that time, we'd have sex pretty much every time we saw each other. A year into our relationship, he was having career and financial difficulties and moved into my apartment with me and my roommate; he pays for his part of the bills.

Now that we sleep together every night, we don't have sex as often as I'd like to. The longest we've gone is two weeks without it, and lately it will only happen if I initiate things. Sometimes I even have to coax him into it, and I end up feeling pathetic and desperate. We've talked about it a bit, and he said his sex drive has been down as a result of career and financial difficulties, which I know can greatly affect men. He's also not completely comfortable with the living situation and feels too dependent on me. I believe him and understand all of this but don't know how to deal with my frustration.

I know nagging won't help anything, but I find myself very confused, because when I do finally get him to have sex, it's always amazing and he loves it. So what should I do? Do I refrain from initiating and see what happens, or just accept it as it is right now and initiate and enjoy what I can get?

- Sexually Frustrated Sam

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Sexually Frustrated Sam,

When a couple's sex drives don't match up, it's almost always frustrating in some way or another for both people in the relationship. However, it's definitely manageable! Keep in mind that as a relationship goes on and couples become more familiar with each other, there is nearly always a decrease in sexual activity, which is perfectly normal.

In your case, it sounds like many of the reasons causing a drop in your boyfriend's libido are only temporary. As you've pointed out, his current financial situation is making him feel emasculated, and as a result, he probably doesn't feel like he can be an aggressive sexual partner right now. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love having sex with you or feel attracted to you - your encounters when you do have sex have proven that!

It's more likely than not that as your boyfriend starts to get his life moving forward again, his sex drive will pick up too. In the meantime, don't be afraid to be the aggressor. There is nothing pathetic or desperate about trying to satisfy your sexual needs. I'm so glad to hear that you guys are communicating about this, so keep it up, and I'm sure you can work through this.

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Dear Poll: Would You Try Female Viagra?

DearSugar — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Earlier this week, an article in the Washington Post reminded readers that Viagra is officially 10-years-old this month. It seems hard to believe it was only a decade ago that the release of this male performance enhancer sparked such huge controversy. Of course, as that debate died down, a new one took its place: When will they make female Viagra? Though there has been talk of similar products, we're still waiting for the little blue pill to be made available for us women. It's pretty clear that it's going to happen eventually, so what I want to know is, would you try it?

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News to Me: Viagra-like Drug For Women?!

DearSugar — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 11:00:00 -0800

To all you ladies out there suffering from a low sex drive, hang tight, there might be a cure sooner than later! According to a recent article in USA Today, researchers at the University of Virginia are testing a gel-based product that has similar effects on women that Viagra has on men. This product, which is intended to boost the libido of women who have lost their sexual appetite, has not yet been approved by the FDA. If this drug is given the go ahead, BioSante Pharmaceuticals, Inc. will be able to help an astonishing one-third of American women who are suffering from hypoactive sexual desire disorder.

To read more, read more.

This experimental drug comes in a pump bottle and 24 hours before engaging in intimate behavior, women are directed to rub a small dab of this gel onto the upper arm. The medicine will enter the blood stream resulting in a boosted libido. Pretty cool, huh? According to Dr. Anita Clayton, a psychiatrist with the UVa Health System, this drug is proving to be better than past treatments so hopefully women will be able to get the help they need. It's about time women had access to sexually-enhancing medical treatments like men do!

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You Asked: Is My Sex Life Over?

DearSugar — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I've been married for two years now. I have a 1-year old and another on the way. Lately my sex life has gone downhill and I believe it's because of me. I am seven months pregnant, which makes my hormones go crazy. I want to have sex often, which I thought would be a great thing for my husband. He used to complain if we didn't have sex everyday and now he doesn't seem to care if we have it at all. I worry that he isn't interested in me anymore and will or has looked elsewhere to get satisfied. I know a lot has changed about me and my body, but I'm not fat, other than my pregnant belly. When we have sex, I can barely feel him anymore. It has to be me; I'm the one that gave birth. Before that we had a great sex life. Is this it? Is my sex life with my husband over? It is the actual intercourse that I'm worried about. Will it ever be good again or is my marriage doomed? Do you think my husband is cheating? He isn't the type to go without sex, especially good sex. What do I do?

-Pregnant, Horny, and Sad Samantha

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Pregnant, Horny, and Sad Samantha -

First of all congratulations on your almost new arrival! You must be overworked and exhausted, not to mention feeling so many other different emotions so this whole sex issue with your hubby can't be helping. You've really got to be open with him about this. Ask him what he's feeling and if he's happy with your sex life. Remember that he's a dad now too, and he has a lot more responsibilities than he had before you two had a family so chances are his sex drive has changed a bit. He could be worried about being able to support you guys or maybe he's just tired and not in the mood. There could be a hundreds reasons as to why he's not as horny anymore, so don't just assume that it's because of you.

To answer your question about birth and your sex life, your vaginal muscles do get stretched out, but doing pelvic floor exercises called Kegels will help strengthen and tighten those muscles back up. Basically it's the muscles you'd contract if you were peeing and you wanted to stop. Squeeze these muscles for 10 seconds, then relax. Repeat 10-20 times and you should notice a difference when you have sex.

Being pregnant does crazy things to your hormones besides just making you super horny. They also make you really sensitive and emotional about everything. I'm not saying that you don't have a reason to be upset, but because your feelings are so strong, you can't just hold them in. Be open and honest with your husband about your needs and your fears. Talking together will make you feel so much better. I hope this helps.

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