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Over the Hills: Fight at the Party
I can only imagine what is going through the heads of these seniors as they recite — verbatim — lines from the Shakespearean show The Hills. Here's a thought: "The Golden Girls could kick their asses!" (Every time I see "Les Deux" I hear one of these Hollywood brats saying "Les Duh!"
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Front Page: Thousands of Troops Quietly Sent to Afghanistan
- Peace activists are not happy to know that President Obama has quietly sent 34,000 additional troops to Afghanistan. That's 13,000 more than he said would go in March. — Washington Post
- Governor Schwarzenegger has signed tough antipaparazzi legislation into law in California.
The Senior Citizen Shake
They call themselves "Country Bernie and the Park Ridge Senior Stampede." I call them ahead of their time...but time flies when you're having fun and, uh, unfortunately their time has come and gone. But they still got some soul in their shake, no?
Week in Weird News: Wax Museum Might Be Stiffing GOP
- Wax Museum Accused of Dissing GOP — Some Republicans have accused Madame Tussauds of playing favorites with the Democrats. Michelle Obama is only the third first lady to get a wax figure, the other two being Jackie Kennedy and Hillary Clinton.
- Austrian Woman Fined For Calling Her Son Too Much — An Austrian court fined a 73-year-old woman $478 for stalking her son. She called him 49 times a day.
- Environmental Office Pollutes Washington Creek — Sewage from Washington state's Department of Ecology regional offices have been polluting a creak near Vancouver Lake.
- Liquor Store Offers Home Delivery — Hoping to boost business ChrisPy's liquor store will now offer home delivery for $5, and $2.50 for senior citizens.
How to Help Meal Delivery Programs Hit by Food, Fuel Costs
It's easy to see the economic toll on food and fuel in our own everyday lives — but the effect is trickling down past commuters and bargain shoppers to silver citizens who rely on meal delivery programs to survive. Advocates for the elderly nationwide are concerned that many seniors are going or will go hungry soon — and blame the 20 percent increase in fuel and food prices over the past year, as well as leveling or reduced government subsidies and a failing economy.
According to the Meals on Wheels Association of America, nearly 60 percent of the 5,000 programs have lost volunteers, most of whom say they can no longer afford gas.
Briefing Book! Vladimir Putin, the Sexy Black Belt Warrior?
- Working Out: Vladimir Putin follows up his tiger wrestling performance with some flipping killer Judo moves. Be afraid. — Gawker
- The Debate: Fake Undecideds?
Meet Japan's Oldest Porn Star!
For most senior citizens, retiring from your job means drifting into the sunset years by gardening, going on cruises, and hanging out with your grandchildren. Seventy-three-year-old Shigeo Tokuda, however, is not going gentle into the good night. He, dear readers, is an elderly porn star!
McCain Attends 50th Reunion and My Exclusive Age Research
John McCain is heading to the Naval Academy for his 50th class reunion this weekend. By that complicated math, you can figure it means he graduated in 1958. McCain will definitely be attending the football game this afternoon between Navy and Rutgers.
Briefing Book! What's Happening at the RNC Day Three
- RNC Tonight: Out with the old in with the new? Huckabee, Romney, Giuliani to speak before Palin; Tom Ridge to nominate McCain. —Human Events
- Palin: It's abortion, stupid?
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