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Say What? Jeannette Walls on Secrets and Vampires

TresSugar — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 09:00:00 -0700

A wise friend of mine once said this. They suck the life out of you, but they can only survive in the darkness. Once they're exposed to the light, there's a moment of horror, of recognition, and then poof - they lose their power over you.

- Author and former gossip columnist for MSNBC.com Jeannette Walls in the November issue of Oprah magazine on how secrets are like vampires. Walls should know about telling secrets. Her searing memoir The Glass Castle revealed the harrowing childhood she endured being raised by two eccentrics who could barely keep food on the table. To hear Walls speaking about riding in a taxicab in New York City and seeing her homeless mother rooting around in trash cans, read more.

Join TrèsSugar's Confession Booth Group!

TresSugar — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 09:00:00 -0700

Shhh. I have a secret: you can now share all your juicy secrets in our new Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community! Just like Group Therapy, all your posts will be automatically anonymous. There is no need to sign out! So if there's anything you want to anonymously get off your chest, stop on by the Confession Booth. And be sure to weigh in on other people's secrets if you're up to it!

News Flash: Women Have a Hard Time Keeping Secrets

TresSugar — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:00:00 -0700

A new British study finds that about four in 10 women cannot keep a secret no matter how confidential the subject. What really surprised the researchers was the speed with which the confidantes spilled the beans: in less than 48 hours!

The study, which was commissioned by the UK Director of Wines of Chile (?!), involved 3,000 women between the ages of 18 and 65. The most common recipients of their secrets? Boyfriends, husbands, best friends, and their mothers.

I think there may be something to this last bit of information. I recently told a friend a secret, and she said, "I won't even tell my husband," which made me pause. I wonder if women tell themselves that those people don't count, whereas telling a co-worker, for example, would count. Do you have a hard time keeping secrets? If you're curious about some of the research's other fascinating (if not surprising) findings on women and secrets, read more.

Women hear an average of three items of gossip a week.
Three in 10 women have "the urge" to reveal secrets.
Two-thirds of women felt guilty after revealing a secret.
More than four in 10 women think it's OK to tell a friend's secret with someone who doesn't know them.
83 percent of women consider themselves 100 percent trustworthy.

Do Tell: What Secret Would You Least Want Anyone to Know?

TresSugar — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 09:00:00 -0700

Presidents and their drug habits. Actors and their rap sheets. French first ladies and their racy pictures from supermodel days gone by.

Everybody's got something to hide. What if you were about to be thrust into the public eye - say you got elected for public office or were suddenly dating Robert Pattinson and became fodder for the tabloids.

What about your past would you most worry about coming back to haunt you? What secret would you least want anyone to know?

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Too Much Information?

DearSugar — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Matthew McConaughey's mom is trying to ride on her famous son's coattails with her new book I Amaze Myself! In it, she divulges some pretty personal information about her family, including the fact that Matthew was an accident and that her husband died while they were having sex. She even goes as far as saying "I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey - and his gift" when talking about how he was taken out of their house in the buff!

The McConaughey's are clearly a free-spirited family, but I wonder how Matthew feels about his mom dishing all their family secrets? I know that I'd be pretty upset, not to mention embarrassed, but what about you? Even though what she's saying may be the truth, are some things, especially as personal as these, better left unsaid?

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Where Do You Stand? Sharing the Family Dirt With Friends

DearSugar — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 07:00:00 -0700

It seems like along the way, every family manages to gain a few secrets or drama-filled issues. And often the family gossip can have a serious effect on your day-to-day life. As with all personal strife, it’s natural to want to talk it out with friends, but sometimes spilling family news can feel a bit disloyal. So where do you stand on sharing your family drama with friends? What about your significant other?

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Sunday Confessional: She Knew He Had Herpes and Didn't Tell Me

DearSugar — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Six months ago I started dating my girl friend's male roommate. At the time, my friend warned me that although her roommate was a good friend, he was a notoriously bad boyfriend. I explained to her that I just wanted to have fun, but she still acted weird about it. Five months in, I learned he was hanging out with a lot of other girls, so we decided to end things. I was disappointed it didn't work out, but I knew it wasn't meant to be.

A few weeks ago I found out that I have genital herpes. I knew immediately it was from him - I've only been with one other guy who was also a virgin. I had asked him before we slept together if he had been tested, and he said he was totally clean. Obviously I was very upset by the news and confronted him. Naturally, he claimed that I must have picked it up from some other guy.

When I came crying to my friend, she was extremely distressed by what he had said. Apparently, he had confided in her a long time ago that he had herpes, but asked her to keep it a secret. When I heard this I was furious. I know that they're good friends, but I couldn't believe she'd kept that from me when she knew I was sleeping with him! I feel beyond betrayed, but she says she "tried" to warn me. Is her omission of the truth forgivable?

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A Do or a Don't: Spreading the Word About a New Love Interest

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:00:00 -0700

When we meet someone new or find ourselves with that butterfly feeling, the natural inclination is to share the news with friends, family, and whoever else might listen. There’s so much pleasure in going over the details of a chance encounter or eye-opening date, but sometimes sharing too much too soon can lead to feelings of embarrassment and rejection if things don’t work out.

It’s fun to talk about a guy asking for your number, but it can be painful to later disclose that he never called. While I love to hear about my friends’ escapades no matter the outcome, I understand when they keep things under wraps until they get more serious. Does this ring true for you? Do you tend to spread the word about a new love interest? Or do you think it’s better to keep it quiet at first until you have an idea of how things will pan out?

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Group Therapy: His Phone Is Making Me Suspicious

Fri, 09 May 2008 03:00:00 -0700

My husband has a company cell phone. He rarely gets calls from work on the weekends or the evenings, and when it does ring, he never answers it - nor does he check it in front of me. When we're out and I need to make a call, he'll pick it up and call for me, even if he's driving! I've looked through the phone and discovered he has Internet on it, which he never told me but claims he didn't know about.

He has "hot girls" checked off, which means that they're available for download, though none have been downloaded. He also has the nearest movie houses in an hour radius checked off, and we haven't gone to the movies in months. I've found a couple of androgynous first name only cell numbers in there as well, which are names he has never mentioned to me. I asked him about it, and he told me the phone was someone else's before he got it and that he hasn't changed the settings.

There are texts that are password-protected, but he claims that they are the previous user's texts - it's a used company phone. He is always home nights and weekends, and I know he doesn't know much about the phone, since I had to show him how to shut it off, but something seems strange. I could let it go if he didn't always stop me from using it. Is he just being protective or could something else be going on?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Handle This: He Gambles Away His Savings

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700

You and your boyfriend have been living together for the past two years in a small apartment. You’ve both been wanting to upgrade to something a little bigger so you’ve been trying to save diligently in order to make it happen.

One day you overhear your boyfriend on the phone with a friend complaining about how he lost $2,000 in an online poker match. To add insult to injury, he references previous losses as well and you didn't even know that he was gambling! You’re completely shocked and upset. You want to walk in there and scream at him for wasting that much money on a game when he should be saving, but then again, it's technically his money, not yours, so you're not sure what you can say. How do you handle this?

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