TresSugar

Do Tell: How Will You Splurge This Weekend?

DearSugar — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 08:00:00 -0800

I don't know about you, but I happen to think the weekends are for breaking the rules. Whether it's splurging on an extra piece of pizza or sleeping till noon, I let myself indulge - hey, it's only two days, right? To all of you who are still planning your weekends, do tell, what rules do you plan on breaking?

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Handle This: His Mom Is Too Formal

DearSugar — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Prior to meeting his parents, your boyfriend’s been keen on telling you just how well he thinks you’ll get along with them. But when the actual meet and greet happens, your high expectations are no more.

When you introduce yourself to his mom, she’s quick to let you know that she’ll only allow you to call her by her surname and that she’s an absolute stickler for manners; she's also more than happy to point out when you’re not following her rules. Your boyfriend's brother's girlfriend calls her by her first name, which makes it clear that this is personal, so how would you handle this?

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What Are Your Rules of Dating?

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Dating can feel like a chore if you're with someone who's not meeting all your expectations. Since no one likes to settle, knowing if your potential mate can meet your needs is important to decipher as soon as possible. I've always had my own check list, so to speak, of what I like in a man but AskMen.com has concocted their own list of common first-date "tests" women use on men to see if they're worthy!

To see what they are, read more.

She offers to pay for the check: Offering to pay the check is often a polite way to measure up a man; the way he reacts is a true test of character since so many women expect him to pick up the tab.
She expresses dissatisfaction: Knowing how to deal with small complaints is another test. While most men have no tolerance for complaining, if a woman is doing it on a first date, it must have some validity.
She sets you off balance: A woman with a cheeky sense of humor isn't necessarily poking fun, she just may not know how to get her hard questions answered. If her comments are off putting, her date should impress her by not squirming.
She invites chivalry: Chivalry still lives so if a woman's inviting it, her date should show her that he knows how to be a gentleman.
She lets you steer conversation: She wants to get to know her date, but she's also testing him to see if he'll talk too much. It's important to take turns talking and listening so one person doesn't control the entire conversation.
She drinks: It's perfectly normal to indulge while on a date, but less is more. Even if the woman is drinking, she's testing to see if her date will drink too much. Remember gentleman, it's your job to make sure she gets home safely!

Do you incorporate any of these tests when you go on a first date? If you have your own way to asses him, tell us what's on your check list!

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Are We Just Too Darned Obsessed With Rules?

CitizenSugar — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 06:00:06 -0700

I fear we might be heading into a grave age: The Death of Common Sense. Perhaps I've suspected for a while that we're living in too-touchy times, where a sensible or proportional response is lost without bells, whistles, and six or seven exclamation points, but I think it's entirely possible that we've begun deferring personal judgment and common sense in favor of an arsenal of black and white all-or-nothing rules.

See what you think. In this month alone:

Robyn Hooker, principal of Kent Gardens Elementary School in Virginia, has ruled that students can no longer play tag during recess. Hooker determined that the game of chasing, dodging and yelling "You're it!" had gotten out of hand, and had in fact become a game of "of intense aggression," much more intense than the tag she remembers. One parent said of the ruling, "We are regulating the fun out of normal childhood activity. In our effort to be so overprotective, we are not letting children be children."
At Cove High School in Texas (a school where half the students have at least one parent deployed) suspended a student for answering a call from his father - who is serving in and calling from Iraq - saying the student had violated the school's no-cell-phone policy.
In Colorado, an eight-year-old received a three-day suspension for sniffing a Sharpie marker. The principal says that she didn't want to see the event escalate and assumed the boy was "huffing" or inhaling dangerous fumes from the marker.

Are these instances where rules were necessary and rightfully enforced? Are we walking the balance between discipline and discretion?

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Do Tell: What Are Your Cardinal Rules of Dating?

DearSugar — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0800

We all have our own set of rules we live by - mine are to be honest, loving, and respectful to name a few - but we also have a different set of rules we apply to dating. Sure, there's going to be some crossover, but ladies, do tell, what are your cardinal rules of dating?

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Dear Poll: Would You Go on a Second Date If...

DearSugar — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 13:00:00 -0700

We all have different opinions on who should pay on the first date - I happen to feel strongly that the man should, but I am very old fashioned when it comes to dating etiquette. If you have the same mentality as I do, what would you do if this scenario happened to you:

You're on a pretty decent first date that he initiated, but when the bill comes, he asks you to go dutch. Of course you oblige - you don't really have a choice in the matter now do you? - but what if he asks you out for a second date? Would you go? Or would you be so turned off that he didn't pay that you'd rather simply high five it and politely decline?

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New Rules of Marriage?

DearSugar — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Whether you're dating, planning a wedding, or already married, I'm sure you've gotten a lot of relationship advice from other married folks. If they've listed off any of the soft rules of marriage, you might want to do some new research. On a recent segment on The Today Show, Rosemary Ellis, the editor-in-chief of Good Housekeeping, shared some new and improved rules of marriage that you should check out below.

Old Myth	New Rule	Explanation
Never go to bed angry.	Sleep on it, but before you roll over in a huff, give your partner a six-second kiss.	If you're blood is boiling and you're frustrated with your honey, duking it out all night won't help. Though kissing before you go to bed won't necessarily solve your problems, it will remind you of your special connection so you can talk about it the next day with a clear and level head.

Want to see the other myths? Then read more.

Old Myth	New Rule	Explanation
As you get older, sex isn't as important.	There's no reason you won't grow more sexually connected.	The more comfortable you feel with a person, the more confident you'll be to ask for what you want and try new things.
As a marriage grows, you'll realize that you've grown apart and fallen out of love.	Marriages don't run on feelings - in order for them to thrive, both partners need to do their fare share of work.	Working through your differences and talking through your disagreements and issues will make your relationship stronger.
Couples who stay together have a lot in common.	It's actually the couples who don't have a lot in common who are often happiest.	You don't have to love doing everything together all the time as long as you do set aside time to be together. Also, having different interests is a plus because it'll keep you happy and secure as an individual, which can only benefit your relationship.
Every guy has a midlife crisis.	It's actually a "reinvention," and women go through it too.	Everyone's life goes through change. Maybe your career takes off in a different direction, or your children leave home, or a parent passes away. The first half of your life is different than the second half, but the second half should get better!

I don't necessarily agree with all of these "new" rules, but what about you? Is there some merit to these news ways of thinking about marriage? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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Dear Poll: Do You Follow the Three-Day Rule?

DearSugar — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 16:00:00 -0700

When it comes to dating, I think it's fair to say we all follow our own quirky rules, but the three-day rule seems to be universal. I hear scenarios like this all the time: girl meets guy, guys wait a few days to call, but when he does, she sends him to voicemail and purposely waits another few days to call him back. Since many women complain that the guy took too long to call in the first place, why do we do the same thing right back? While I understand eagerness can be unattractive, waiting for the sake of playing the game seems equally silly. I'll admit that I've been guilty of this offense myself, but tell me, do you follow the three-day rule even though you hate it when he does?

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Book Bag: Ann Rule's Stranger Beside Me

TresSugar — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 14:00:00 -0700

As more information comes out about alleged Craigslist Killer Philip Markoff's predelictions (for gambling, answering ads for casual sex with men, collecting souvenirs from his victims), one can only feel for his fiancée and family who must be blindsided by what has happened.

His fiancée has publicly offered her support, saying that she still loves him and that, "What has been portrayed and leaked to the media is not the Philip Markoff that I know." Maybe the media's portrayal is based on faulty police information - or maybe this case reminds us that we sometimes don't really know the people we feel closest to. To find out what true crime book the Craigslist Killer case reminds me of, read more

The Markoff case brought to mind crime writer Ann Rule's memoir The Stranger Beside Me, about her friendship with serial killer Ted Bundy who was executed in 1989 for murdering three women.

A crime reporter at the time, Rule worked alongside Bundy at a crisis hotline center and was friends with the man people described as handsome, intelligent, and likeable (as many sociopaths are).

Rule discusses their parallel lives - hers as a crime reporter, his as a serial killer - and what it felt like when her friend, she discovered, was a sadistic, cunning sociopath who may have killed as many as 100 women. This chilling account reveals the toll such people have on the innocent friends and family who are left behind to puzzle at who their loved one really was.

The Rules for Cats

GiggleSugar — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 08:00:00 -0800

Remember that book about how you shouldn't accept a Saturday date if the guy asks you after Wednesday, yaddah, yaddah? Well, this is much more fun. It's The Rules but for cats. To read all the cat rules, click here but here's a sampling:

Bathrooms: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

Chairs and rugs: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a human's bare foot.

Hiding: Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances.

Walking: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

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