TresSugar

SuperLove: An Emotional Ellen Talks about the Oscars

DearSugar — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 12:01:00 -0800

Ellen always inspires me to dream big, to tell the truth and to never believe it's too late. I really wanted to share this with you, ladies, in case you missed it! But definitely go all the way to the end . . . and grab a tissue.

Source

Do Tell: Did You Have a Role Model?

DearSugar — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700

When it comes to the nature versus nurture argument, the debate still wages, but as far as nurture goes, our parents seem to be the indicators for why we are the way we are. However, for many of us, our parents were not the only people that we looked up to.

For some people it's a teacher, an older friend, or even a television character! For me, it was my aunts. I have four and as a child, I worshiped them. Whether or not they were the best role models, I don't know, but they were the women who I wanted to be someday. So what about you? Do tell, did you have a role model growing up? If so, tell us about them!

Source

First Lady Offers First Rate Advice

TresSugar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:00:00 -0700

For its annual Women of the Year issue, Glamour made Michelle Obama the first First Lady to grace its cover. The issue honors Michelle for her commitment to mentoring young women, and the First Lady shows off these mentoring skills inside the magazine, where she offers readers advice on life and love. Here are some excerpts:

On how it's important to invest in yourself: "I have always tried to put my kids first, and then. . . put myself a really close second, as opposed to fifth or seventh. One thing that I’ve learned from male role models is that they don’t hesitate to invest in themselves."
On what to look for in a partner: "Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, Who are you as a person? Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. . . When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good . . . You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole."

Do you think Michelle offers some solid advice?

Is It Your Responsiblity To Be A Role Model To Your Younger Sibling?

DearSugar — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 17:43:59 -0800

Little Aliana Lohan is really growing up and the pics on the cover of November's CosmoGirl are proof. Big sister Lindsay talks about which advice she chooses to pass along and what she feels Ali should learn on her own.

Similarly, sisters Jessica and Ashlee Simpson are on OK's November 6th's cover discussing their relationship. In most cases, having a big brother or sister is the best thing in the world. They help to break in your parents and you get to not only borrow their things, you get to watch and learn from their mistakes.

Being a big brother or sister can be considered a huge responsibility. Some take it seriously and others feel that their siblings need to live lives of their own and learn to develop by making the same kinds of mistakes that they have. What do you think?

Book Bag: Girls Against Girls

TresSugar — Mon, 18 May 2009 12:10:00 -0700

Gossiping, cyberbullying, "slut-bashing" - girls may not often handle their aggression by punching people in the face, but they have many weapons in their arsenal to cause tremendous pain to others (usually other girls).

So what to do about it? Author Bonnie Burton decided there needed to be a book about mean girls addressed to teens themselves and not just to their parents and teachers, so she wrote Girls Against Girls: Why We Are Mean to Each Other and How We Can Change.

Written in a conversational manner that doesn't talk down to teens but also doesn't try too hard to sound like them, Girls Against Girls reads like something an older, wiser sister who took feminist theory courses in college would write. If you're a teen, you'll get the sense Burton gets you and what you may be going through. (Adult women may find themselves recognizing some of the same behaviors from women in their lives!) To find out what you can learn from Girls Against Girls, read more.

"We live in a culture right now that pits girls against each other. We are brought up socially to be in competition with each other - who has the best body, more boyfriends, better clothes. And this kind of competition can be devastating on female friendships because it emphasizes a mentality that there isn't enough to go around." - Jessica Weiner, author and advice columnist

"Women and girls are taught that it's not OK to be proud of themselves. . .so instead of accentuating their positive traits, they accentuate other girls' negative ones, scoring social points not with their own accomplishments, but by honing in on the faults of others."- Kate Izquierdo, music editor San Francisco Bay Guardian

Although Girls Against Girls operates on a "Sisterhood Is Powerful" premise that suggests women are kind of obliged to be nice to each other for the feminist cause (which may rankle some), I like that Burton zeroes in immediately on the social and cultural contexts that create so-called mean girls. It's not because girls are wired to be catty or vicious to other girls (although hormones and superior communication skills play a part) - it's because we're taught to be nice, not to express anger, to be competitive with other girls, and perhaps because we had a female role model who passed down her mean girls attitude. All of this is a recipe for the girls against girls' wars in school that can include gossiping and escalate to online threats, such that a girl may fear for her safety.

The book is divided in six parts that explain why there are mean girls, how they're mean (cyberbullying didn't exist when I was in junior high or high school - thank God!), how you can deal with it, and when to know that you need to ask an adult to help you. There's also a useful chapter on developing better communication skills (one of the real subjects of the book) and what things you can do to contribute to girl culture rather than ripping it to shreds. All in all, a book a girl these days could use.

GiggleSugar Best of the Week

GiggleSugar — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 05:10:22 -0700

Building yourself a motorized bar stool is just asking for trouble.
Heidi Klum is an April Fools' Day role model.
The Snuggie meets the Sham Wow in infomercial heaven.
Oh Gisele, please tell us it was a language barrier.
And what exactly is going on in this family dynamic?
"Mowing the lawn" and other bad bikini-line puns.
Just can't get enough Judge Judy.
The cute Olympics: we have a winner!

Meghan McCain Interviews Rising Star Supriya Jindal

CitizenSugar — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:00:45 -0700

OK, so Bobby Jindal's televised response to Barack Obama didn't exactly guarantee his rise to national prominence, but maybe his charming wife will. Meghan McCain believes Mrs. Jindal is a huge asset to the Louisiana governor, as she titled her recent interview with Supriya Jindal: The first lady of 2012?

When Meghan McCain considers positive female role models in the GOP, she immediately thinks of Supriya, who moved from India to Baton Rouge when she was four.

To read some highlights from the interview, read more.

Meghan: Did you see the “Kenneth the Page” sketch?

Supriya: I have not. Should I have?

Meghan: No.

Meghan: Do you have any thoughts on the future of the Republican Party?

Supriya: I think the Republican Party needs to focus on innovative solutions and stop worrying who the leaders are and who the next this and that is.

Meghan: Your background is really fascinating to me because you are so educated. Why chemical engineering?
Supriya: I’ve always been drawn to math and science, even as a child. Growing up, my dad was an engineer and some of my uncles were engineers. So when it came to college, I thought, I will give this engineering thing a try.

Meghan: How important do you think fashion is in politics?

Supriya: We as women always want to look nice and presentable, but there is a balance there. I am very much a sale shopper and off-the-rack shopper. I love getting shoe deals.

Do you think Supriya has what it takes to be first lady?

Source

Dear Poll: Should Celebrities Have to Apologize?

DearSugar — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 10:30:00 -0800

Celebrities are no different than us common folk; they make mistakes, too. It's just that their mistakes are seen and heard around the world. While it's easy for us to simply apologize to the people we've hurt, celebrities have to make amends much more publicly. But what happens when you're not sorry for your actions even though others see them as mistakes?

This happened to Miley Cyrus when controversial pictures emerged of her making goofy faces with her friends. Some thought the pics were racially charged, but she claims the media was just picking on her. Though she did make a statement, it wasn't exactly apologetic. Yes, celebrities are role models for many of us, but should they have to publicly apologize if they don't think they've done anything wrong?

Source

Michael Phelps Drug Use Might Make a Case For Legalization

CitizenSugar — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 00:01:04 -0800

It's common knowledge that the last three US presidents have experimented with drugs. In fact, when asked if he ever smoked (and inhaled) marijuana, Barack Obama answered: "I inhaled . . . frequently. That was the point." And now we have proof that golden boy Michael Phelps has hit a bong before.

When it comes to marijuana, hypocrisy can grow like a weed in US society. Over the past year few people, if any, received more acclaim for their life accomplishments than Barack Obama (the first black president!) and Michael Phelps (he won eight gold medals!).

If such exalted individuals have used marijuana, can we really arrest regular people for it? The realization that our greatest role models have broken this law might be a sign that marijuana use isn't the sort of bad judgment we want to criminalize.

Do you think it's time to reconsider the ban on marijuana?

Source

You Asked: Should I Pass on Praise to My Ex?

DearSugar — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend of five years and I broke up (rather awkwardly) last October and it completely shattered my heart. While we were civil and polite immediately after, we haven't spoken much or seen each other for about a year. I've since moved on, and I am confident he has too. Although I'm curious to know how he is, I hadn't really considered any contact until I heard a really nice compliment to him. I was at the local dog park a few days ago and some of the other women there were discussing the math programs at their kids' schools. One woman mentioned what a difference a certain teacher made for her son, and the particular school as well as the way she described him makes me 100 percent confident that she was talking about my ex-beau.

I know how much he loves teaching and acting as a role model to his students so should I write him an email to relay the praise? I want to respect his space and privacy, and my heart, so is this a can of worms I should avoid opening or should I just do it? - Do Good Greta

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Do Good Greta,

I think it's very sweet that you're considering relaying this praise on to your ex, but I just want to make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. If you want to use this as an excuse to get back in touch with him, I highly suggest you weigh the pros and cons before doing so. Ask yourself if you'd be upset if he wasn't happy to hear from you, if he didn't want to rekindle your friendship, and be prepared to have all those sad feelings around your breakup resurface again.

If you wholeheartedly just want to pass along the compliment with no strings attached, do it, I'm sure he'd love to hear it, but if you have an ulterior motive, make sure you think through every angle - you don't want to set yourself up for failure or hurt.

Source