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Atheists and Marriage

Tres Community — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 06:00:01 -0800

This post is written by user PinkNC in the TrèsSugar Community group Religions of the World.

Here’s the question: If you’re an atheist and you marry a Christian or any other religion, inside of a church, are you a hypocrite because you went through with the ceremony and vowed under a God you do not believe in?

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

Some Doctors Object to the Pill on Moral Grounds

TresSugar — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0700

In the very first episode of Mad Men, Peggy Olson goes to the gynecologist seeking a prescription for the pill. Watching the scene, I cringed as the doctor grills Peggy about why she would want the contraceptive pills if she were not married. He says: "As a doctor we'd like to think that putting a woman in this situation isn't going to turn her into some sort of strumpet." Although he gave her the prescription, he tells Peggy he will take her off the medicine if she "abuses" it.

If you're thinking: thank goodness I don't live in the 1960s when doctors were allowed to pass judgment on our sex lives, think again! A recent USA Today story explains how doctors are using conscience clauses to object to the pill as well as to abortion. One doctor in San Antonio told the paper that the pill would not protect her patient from the "emotional trauma from multiple partners" or sexually transmitted diseases. She said: "I could not ethically give that type of medication to a single woman." Wow. This modern doctor goes even further than the one featured on Mad Men!

The Bush administration enacted an ambitious conscience clause that says that hospitals receiving federal money cannot refuse to hire nurses or doctors who morally object to abortion or even certain forms of birth control. These regulations, which could limit access to contraception for women who rely on public clinics or those who live in rural areas, have yet to be rolled back by President Obama as promised. What do you think about doctors who withhold contraception from women because of moral objections?

Top Official: Burqa Not Part of France's "National Identity"

TresSugar — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Cheese. Wine. Baguettes. These are all seemingly welcomed signifiers of French identity. Burqas? Not so welcome.

France has been debating a ban on the head-to-toe garment for some time now. Most recently, the country's immigration minister Eric Besson said yesterday that burqas should not be worn on French streets because they are not part of the country's "national identity."

Besson wants the government to reaffirm national pride by having a "great debate" about what it means to be French. With more than five million Muslims living in France (the largest Muslim population in Western Europe), doesn't French identity include Muslim traditions? It sounds like Besson, who was born in Morocco, disagrees. Based on his previous statements, being French means speaking better French if you're an immigrant and having more opportunities to sing the national anthem if you're a kid in school.

Do you think the French government has a right to dictate dress codes under the guise of "maintaining tradition," or should it be more accepting of minority and immigrant group influences? Would you worry if US officials organized a meeting to decide what it means to be American?

Ask a Party Planner: Should I Date Outside My Religion?

TresSugar — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

This week, a party planner offers advice to a woman unsure about a new love interest. After you read her answer, be sure to check out our Group Therapy group where I found this question.

Today's Question:

I'm a single 32-year-old woman and I am under immense pressure to get married from my family and community. I have been single for two years since my last relationship, and four months ago I met this guy and started dating him. We quickly got close and we really care for each other. He wants me to be his girlfriend now, however there a few issues with us - he is only 28 and from another religion. If this goes anywhere, then we are sure to face opposition from both our families. We are from cultures where our families mean a lot to us.

We have talked about this being a long-term relationship, but we have yet to figure out if we will end up married since it's obviously too early. I'm wondering if I should date other guys while we figure this out. I really don't want to, but my friends warn me to not put all my eggs in one basket, especially when he is four years younger than me. I also worry that our religions will come between us in the future.

What should I do? Date other guys, or be his girlfriend and see this through?

Signed, Unsure

To see the party planner's answer, read more.

Dear Unsure,

It seems like there are two issues here: first, his age, and second, your religions. Let's discuss.

I think you should not worry about his age. Twenty-eight is old enough to be in a serious, committed relationship if that's what he wants. Like you said, it's early in the relationship, so you can't predict whether you two are going to get married. But there is only one way to find out - by dating him exclusively.

As for the religion issue: this is something to seriously consider. But I think you need to figure out if you're willing to date someone with a different background - is it worth it to you, not your family, to work through the inevitable obstacles (like choosing how to celebrate holidays, or how to raise kids)? As for your family, I think that they will be more supportive than you think. If you're happy, they should be happy for you too. And you say this guy really values his family, so I think it's great that you found someone who thinks his family is important - just like you do.

If you really like this guy, it's worth giving it a chance. Good luck.

Signed,
A party planner

Creative Lingerie Ad - Love It or Leave It?

TresSugar — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 02:00:00 -0700

I don't want to say too much about this lingerie ad running in Germany because I fear it could give away the effect. But I'll tell you this: it definitely makes the point that anyone can have the desire to feel sexy. Check it out and tell me if you think it is powerful or problematic.

Legendary Comic Book Artist Takes On the Book of Genesis

TresSugar — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:14:40 -0700

Widely regarded as the father of underground comics, the famously T & A-obsessed R. Crumb surprised many by deciding to take on the first book of the Bible, the Book of Genesis.

How to reconcile the sacred with the profane? The Book of Genesis Illustrated, which contains all 50 chapters, comes with a warning: "Adult Supervision Recommended For Minors." And it's not because R. Crumb changes or adds words to the original, but rather because his art graphically depicts what he calls the the Book of Genesis's inherent violence:

"[It's about] ruling elites, victimizing people in sadistic ways, which is human beings at their nastiest. They have power over others, and they derive pleasure from inflecting pain on other humans. That's about as nasty as people get."

Crumb's French publisher, Jean-Luc Fromental, thought Crumb might be able to achieve an interpretation of Genesis only through "blasphemy." Now? He thinks that he was trying to "[r]eread the whole text from a humanistic point of view . . ."

In a press conference for The Book of Genesis Illustrated, Crumb said that although he "seeks knowledge" of God and believes that there is a force ruling us, we can't ever truly understand it. As for regarding the Bible as a sacred truth? He thinks it's crazy, adding, "But the human race is crazy if nothing else." (If you're interested in R. Crumb, check out the amazing documentary about him and his crazy family, titled, simply enough, Crumb.)

Beyonce Too Sexy For Malaysia

TresSugar — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:30:00 -0700

Beyonce won't be showing off her, um, leotards anytime soon in Malaysia. The singer has canceled her upcoming show in the predominately Muslim country because it has upset conservative Muslims who think her show is immoral.

Although Beyonce is not subject to the country's Sharia courts and cannot be tried for moral offenses, her sexy dances and costumes would nevertheless cause some outrage. The country's Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party called for the cancellation because it would promote "Western sexy performances." Well they're right about that - Beyonce definitely puts on a sexy show.

Considering a 32-year-old Malaysian model was recently sentenced to be caned for drinking a beer in a hotel nightclub, I'm not so surprised some people there aren't ready for Beyonce's jelly.

Supreme Court Considers Legality of Crosses on Public Land

TresSugar — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 10:05:00 -0700

While the Supreme Court decides whether or not religious symbols can be erected on public land, one justice already has his mind made up. During the oral arguments on the legality of a cross at a World War I memorial, Catholic Justice Antonin Scalia more than hinted at how he is voting. Scalia said yesterday:

What would you have them erect? . . . Some conglomerate of a cross, a Star of David, and you know, a Muslim half moon and star? . . . I don't think you can leap from that to the conclusion that the only war dead that that cross honors are the Christian war dead.

Scalia definitely has no problem avoiding religious sensitivity. He seems to dismiss even the idea of a more inclusive memorial outright. Since the memorial was built more than 75 years ago, there could be a valid argument for preserving it for historical reasons, but it seems only right that today's memorials should not favor one religion. Then again, perhaps the separation of church and state goes even further to dictate that no religious symbols should be found on public land. That is the question the Supreme Court must decide.

What do you think? Should crosses be allowed on public lands, should religious memorials be required to be all-inclusive, or should religious symbols be banned altogether from public land?

Many Blessings: Christian Sect Believes Its Kids Will Fix the US

TresSugar — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 09:00:00 -0700

It's not uncommon to say children are a blessing, but Quiverfull (the name of a small movement among Christian Evangelicals) families take the belief very, very seriously. So much that they eschew all forms of birth control, even natural methods, and 10-children families have become the norm. Is it so there's enough love to go around? Partially. But more disconcertingly, it's because they believe the answer to America's "moral decay" is a return to pre-industrial revolution times when contraception was incompatible with Christianity, patriarchy reigned, children attended homeschools, and families were self-sufficient. And they - or their children - plan to lead the movement.

Despite a wide concern that Christianity is dying in the United States and Europe, Rev. James McDonald, the pastor at an Illinois church filled with Quiverfull families, is not worried about his numbers. "In denomination after denomination their children are leaving in mass exodus," McDonald said, "and this is a major, major problem, especially when most families only have two or three children."

"Only" two or three children? Is McDonald saying that, while other Christian denominations decline, they will rise? Are Quiverfull families trying another kind of "family planning"? Find out after the jump.

Dominican Republic Bans Abortion, No Exceptions

TresSugar — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 09:00:00 -0700

As support for legal access to abortion in the US drops (with only 47 percent of Americans thinking it should be legal), the Dominican Republican has decided to go one better: they want to constitutionally ban the procedure altogether.

With support for the Catholic Church and the country's Catholic population, lawmakers recently ratified an amendment that makes it illegal for women to terminate pregnancy in all cases. Abortion is now constitutionally forbidden even if the mother or fetus's life is at risk. And there is no exception for incest or rape.

It is very taboo to discuss abortion in the Dominican Republic, but some bloggers are speaking out against the new amendment. One such blogger writes:

A string of hypocrisy, and those that think they voted for life, when a woman needs to abort because her life is in danger and they do not, THE WOMAN AND THE FETUS DIES. What ignorance! Death will now be 2 for 1 in the Dominican Republic.

Could you imagine something like this happening in the US?