TresSugar

Say What? Leighton Always Hates Her Boyfriends

TresSugar — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:30:27 -0800

"Honestly, I've hated every boyfriend I've had. . . I don't want to have a boyfriend unless I want to be with him forever. If I don't see an end, that's nice. Because I always see an end."

- Leighton Meester explains that she rarely meets someone she wants to be in a committed relationship with. Do you share her attitude toward relationships?

Ask an MBA Student: Is It OK For My Boyfriend to See His Ex?

TresSugar — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:00:44 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a guy working on his MBA tries to help out a woman nervous about her boyfriend's ex. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's Question:
My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend just moved back in town and he wants to hang out with her. She's going to stop by his house this week so they can catch up. They broke up a couple of years ago, but they dated for a few years so this sort of makes me uncomfortable. Can I tell him that I don't want them to be friends? I don't know whether I should be upset or just let it go.

Signed,
Nervous

To read the MBA student's advice, read more.

Dear Nervous,

My advice is to let them hang out and catch up initially. It's natural for friends who haven't seen each other to meet up; there is nothing to worry about. I think it might be a good idea for you to be there, if your boyfriend is OK with that. If this is truly a friend situation, he shouldn't have a problem with you being there, and if the ex-girlfriend is moving back into town then she should want to get to know you. After they catch up, the novelty might go away and they might never see each other again as people change. However, if they continue to hang out and see each other a lot, you can let him know that it makes you uncomfortable. He should respect your wishes and tone it down.

Signed,
An MBA Student

Man-gagement Ring - Love It or Leave It?

TresSugar — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:00:46 -0800

Glancing at a man's ring finger to see if he's taken can only get you so far. While the presence of a ring tells you he's married, there's no way to know if he's engaged, since women don't typically get to put a ring on it. Well that's apparently changing.

According to ABC, man-gagement rings - engagement rings worn by men - are getting more and more popular. As one soon-to-be-groom says: "Now your game is over even sooner." Presumably many of these men are excited about showing off their "taken" status.

"What Is His Deal?"

Tres Community — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:00:00 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

My friend (let’s call her Laura) recently introduced me to a good male friend of hers (let’s call him Mark) at a Halloween party. Mark and I had a good time talking to each other and he emailed my friend a day later to tell her that he thought I was really nice. He then found me on Facebook and asked me out for the following weekend, to which I said yes.

We texted a few times and flirted a little bit. However, when the weekend came he got sick (I was sick too so I didn’t mind that we weren’t going to meet, although I didn’t tell him that). But now it’s been a week and I haven’t heard anything from him, no texts, no nothing. I think this is a little strange since he was the one who initially pursued me. Plus he’s friends with my friend so I didn’t think he would just ditch our plans. There is such a thing as politeness and I’m a little surprised that he hasn’t called me to let me know that he’s still sick, or busy, or whatever. So, I don’t know what to do if and when he calls. Should I go out with him? He’s already demonstrated that he can’t keep me in the loop.

There's lots of fun stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

Women Buy the Underpants in the Relationships

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:00:00 -0800

When it comes to a man's underwear, not only do women have a strong preference, they also have a lot of influence. New research shows that men purchase their own underwear for only 17 years of their entire lives. During the other years, it's either their mothers or significant others who do the buying.

If men have no one to do their shopping, they usually wait to buy new skivvies until they're starting a new relationship. So it might help to hint to your new guy whether you prefer boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs (in fact 54 percent of TrèsSugar readers prefer boxer briefs). And if you're looking for a place to meet an available man, you might want to hang out around an underwear department - according to the research you can predict whether a man is looking for a partner by the number of underpants he buys. (I may take their advice - if those guys look like David Beckham!)

Have you ever bought underwear for your man?

First Couple Had to Negotiate Their Roles in Marriage

TresSugar — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:00:00 -0700

Last night, President Obama spoke to NBC about how he and Michelle had a discussion about gender roles and marriage once they had kids. He explained:

"Michelle was trying to figure out, OK, if the kids get sick why is it that she's the one who has to take time off of her job to go pick them up from school, as opposed to me? What I tried to do was to learn to be thoughtful enough and introspective enough that I wasn't always having to be told that things were unfair."

Based on the Obamas's visibly happy marriage, and the new study that suggests splitting housework leads to a better sex life, it seems that sharing responsibilities for the family and house can only be a win-win for spouses. Still, the president admits that because she's a woman, Michelle still had to make sacrifices he didn't have to. Have you ever spoken to your partner about expectations based on gender roles?

To see video of the president talking about his relationship with Michelle, read more.

Couples Who Clean Together, Sleep Together

TresSugar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0700

I recently went to my friend's bachelorette party and got her the book Porn For Women as a gag gift. The PG porn book suggests that women get turned on by men doing things like vacuuming, folding clothes, or making dinner.

But according to a new study, seeing your spouse do household chores might actually be an aphrodisiac - and not just for women. The study revealed that the more housework a husband or wife does, the more likely they are to have sex with their spouses.

Many of the participating couples reasoned that showing an interest in household work - defined as cleaning, preparing meals, washing dishes, washing and ironing clothes, driving family members around, shopping, yard work, maintaining cars, and paying bills - demonstrates a greater willingness to invest in shared interests. It's a symbol of teamwork and commitment. One husband told researchers that sharing chores reflects a "willingness to hold my wife's needs and wants on par with my own." He sounds like a keeper.

Do you do and your significant other split up the household chores? Has it led to a better sex life?

Some Adult Children Divorce Their Toxic Parents

TresSugar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 10:00:00 -0700

You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. This fact of life means that many of us put up with people we might not otherwise get along with.

Yesterday's New York Times examined what happens when certain family members, namely parents, cross the line from imperfect to completely intolerable. Critical, demanding, non-accepting, or verbally abusive parents sometimes prove too toxic to tolerate, leading adults to "divorce" the people who brought them into the world.

While many mental health professionals typically emphasize salvaging relationships, Dr. Richard A. Friedman wrote in the Times column that in certain circumstances, it might be healthier to end the relationship altogether. Dr. Friedman compares cutting off contact with a parent to cutting off a limb in order to save the adult child's life. Painful, but sometimes necessary.

What is the best way to handle toxic parents? Would you avoid them, cut them out completely, or try your best to deal with them?

Would You Go on Vacation With a New Love Interest?

TresSugar — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0700

One of my friends has been going out with this really fun guy for about a month now. They met through mutual friends and seem to have a lot in common.

Well now this guy has invited her to go along on a trip he has planned to Thailand with his best friend. My friend has been wanting to take a relaxing vacation, but hasn't been able to get friends on board. She sees this invitation as a great chance to explore a new part of the world, but she can't help but worry about making international travel plans with someone she's still only casually dating. Would you do it?

Source: Flickr User flydime

Have You Ever Defied Expectations?

TresSugar — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0700

In the latest issue of GQ, the seriously sexy January Jones opens up about how she overcame the low expectations of an ex-boyfriend. Instead of believing in her, the ex (rumored to be Ashton Kutcher) told her that she might not be cut out for acting. January recounts:

"The guy I was dating when I first got to LA was not supportive of my acting. He was like, I don't think you're going to be good at this. So - f*ck you! He only has nice things to say now - if anything, I should thank him. Because the minute you tell me I can't do something, that's when I'm most motivated."

January sure did channel that motivation, as her powerful portrayal of Betty Draper has earned her much critical acclaim.

Have you ever defied expectations to show what you're really made of?