TresSugar

Which Comes First: Call Him or Wait Until He Calls You

DearSugar — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 15:00:00 -0800

You met an amazing guy at a friend's party the other night. You talked all night, really hit it off, and exchanged phone numbers. So now what . . .

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Dear Poll: Are You Good at Returning Phone Calls?

DearSugar — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Many of you are not a fan of the phone unless it’s to talk to someone who you couldn’t otherwise. Even though it’s less personal, I agree that something about talking on the phone can seem a bit intimidating and awkward. Unfortunately, you really can’t escape it, especially since other people may not feel the same way you do. Since I know punctuality and follow-through matter to all of you, tell me, are you good about calling someone back?

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The How-To Lounge: Making Long-Distance Phone Time

DearSugar — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Let's face it: Staying in touch is hard, especially if you have a big family, lots of friends, or entire time zones separating you from the people you love. But the phone is an essential tool when it comes to nurturing long-distance friendships; the problem is finding time to talk.

If you've got friends spread out over the country or the globe, there are a few simple things you can do to make quality talk time. To see my tips and add your own, read more.

Make a date. Particularly when dealing with time zone issues, setting up a specific time to talk helps tremendously. If it's someone you talk to a lot, schedule a day and time when you can talk every week. For one-off chit-chats, use IM, texts, or email to find a time that works.
Write a pre-email. If you've got obligatory job and vacation updates to get out of the way, do it over email. That way, your phone call can focus more on the sort of goofy chit-chat and gossip you'd have if you were talking in person.
Make it fun. Sometimes, if you have a lot of catching up to do, a phone date with a friend can go for hours. To make it worth your while, turn it into a virtual happy hour: Pour yourself a glass of wine, have you friend mix up a cocktail, and sip while you dish.
Squeeze it in. If you don't have time for a marathon phone call, try calling friends and family when you have downtime here and there - if you're walking home from the subway or waiting for the cable guy to show up. This can also help the time zone issue: If you're coming home late and you live on the East Coast, your West Coast friends are just finishing dinner.
Double up. If your parents are on the other end of the phone but in the same room, why not talk to them both at once? Have them get on speaker phone so you don't have to repeat yourself.

Have your own tips? I'd love to hear them, so please share in the comments.

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Dear Poll: Are You Easy to Get Ahold Of?

DearSugar — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:00:00 -0700

In this day and age, where most of us carry a BlackBerry, a cell phone, an iPhone, or maybe even all three, it's easier than ever to get ahold of people. My mom, for instance, always has her phone with her, no matter the day or the time. Then there's my BFF, who is notorious for never answering her phone and lagging on her email responses. While I understand the need to disconnect every once in a while, I love knowing that I can always rely on certain people in my life to answer my call or return my text. Where do you fall on the accessibility spectrum? Are you one that always has your phone out on the table, just in case, or do you prefer to remain a little out of touch?

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Dear Poll: Who Do You Talk to Most on the Phone?

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 14:00:00 -0700

I'm lucky enough to have my closest friends and family living just five minutes away, yet I still manage to log some serious phone time whenever I have a free moment. Now I know some people aren't that great on the phone, but even if you're more of a face-to-face kind of gal, there's always an exception to the rule so ladies, tell me: Who do you talk to most?

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Group Therapy: Do I Talk Too Much?

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 11:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about five months now, and I've begun to notice that I do a lot of the talking. He's a pretty reserved person by nature, but sometimes I think that I inadvertently take over most conversations. Also, my best friend who is seeing someone seems to have a very different type of conversation with her boyfriend. They typically talk about world politics and stuff of that nature, while I tend to talk more about school, my day, and what my friends have been up to. I'm not really sure if he's getting annoyed. He's pretty quiet when I talk to him.

Honestly, I've never been in a relationship where it was this hard to find something to talk about on the phone. In person, we're fine, but as soon as we're apart - it's a long distance relationship - things get kind of awkward. I just want to know what other people talk to their significant others about. Is it OK to have a lull in conversation? And should I even bring up my girlfriends?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Group Therapy: His Phone Is Making Me Suspicious

Fri, 09 May 2008 03:00:00 -0700

My husband has a company cell phone. He rarely gets calls from work on the weekends or the evenings, and when it does ring, he never answers it - nor does he check it in front of me. When we're out and I need to make a call, he'll pick it up and call for me, even if he's driving! I've looked through the phone and discovered he has Internet on it, which he never told me but claims he didn't know about.

He has "hot girls" checked off, which means that they're available for download, though none have been downloaded. He also has the nearest movie houses in an hour radius checked off, and we haven't gone to the movies in months. I've found a couple of androgynous first name only cell numbers in there as well, which are names he has never mentioned to me. I asked him about it, and he told me the phone was someone else's before he got it and that he hasn't changed the settings.

There are texts that are password-protected, but he claims that they are the previous user's texts - it's a used company phone. He is always home nights and weekends, and I know he doesn't know much about the phone, since I had to show him how to shut it off, but something seems strange. I could let it go if he didn't always stop me from using it. Is he just being protective or could something else be going on?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Jersey Mom Takes a Phone Call

GiggleSugar — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 15:30:00 -0800

That nagging Jersey Mom is back and this time, she's equipped with a phone. There are rumors to hear and gossip to spread, but she won't let that get in the way of her household duties. So she's gonna have her some chitchat and do everything but install new plumbing while she's at it. We've all been on the phone with this woman . . .

You Asked: Should I Forgive him?

DearSugar — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I have been in a great relationship of 5 years. We live together and love each other dearly. Recently my boyfriend has been receiving some text messages from his best friend's ex-girlfriend. They have all hung-out before together but never chatted on the phone. Originally I thought nothing of it, he said he was fixing her car, no biggie, and he never talks to chicks (or so I thought). Recently I read a message from her that said "yeah I'm here right now, maybe we can meet up after you're done with work on Monday". I confronted him and he said he had no idea she just sent it. Now us females have something called a woman's intuition so I checked my cell phone bill (his number is on my bill) and I discovered that he has been talking and texting to her since December, 7 months ago!!

So once again I confronted him as to what's going on with her. He told me he needed a friend, that it was nothing at all just someone to talk to. I have many friends and normally I feel bad hanging with them and leaving him at home so I try not to, but while I'm always at work on Saturday (he's off) he'll be texting her nonstop and calling. He has other guy friends but only her as a girl-friend. I don't know what to think- I believe him, I want to believe him, but hiding this for 7 months leaves me feeling incredibly betrayed. I asked him if we should take a break so maybe we both can find ourselves and figure out what is really going on, and he refused, he said he wants to be with me forever. He has apologized, but it's been about 3 days and I'm still upset, I've been moping around and I know that is not the best thing to do but that is how I feel-- how else should I be acting? And what do we do from here? He says that he wants to be with me and I want to make it work...what do we do? -- At a Cross Road Rachel

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear At a Cross Road Rachel--

You have absolutely every right to feel betrayed Rachel. The fact that your boyfriend has be-friended a woman doesn't sound like the issue here, it's his lying that is inexcusable. Don't men understand by now that they are going to be worse off after their girlfriend finds out his secrets, especially since you share a phone bill?? Geesh! I am glad you have confronted him -- but do you believe him when he says that nothing sexual happened between them? If so, do you think you can re-build the trust that is lost?

Your boyfriend needs to be a lot more understanding of your feelings right about now. It's going to take longer than 3 measly days to clear up your hurt, so if you want to mope around the apartment, by all means mope around the apartment! You're entitled to give into your feelings, and you should to be frank, so you don't harbor resentment and anger towards him for the rest of your relationship.

From here, you and your boyfriend are going to have to be very honest and open with each other's feelings, fears, and anger towards each other. If you want to make your relationship work, you have to make a conscience decision to forgive your boyfriend for his actions -- that isn't to say forget, but forgive him and try to move on. Have you given couples counseling any thought? Set some ground rules so you are both on the same page of what feels comfortable and uncomfortable in terms of friendships and time spent apart. It's healthy for you both to engage with friends outside the relationship, but only if you both trust each other, and that will just take some time. Good luck Rachel.

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iPhone App Helps Men Keep Score of Chicks They've Scored

TresSugar — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Pepsi's Amp Up energy drink (another one?!) has created a free iPhone app that gives players "up-to-the-minute info, feeds, lines" so that they can talk to their favorite kinds of women - "24 in all."

Basically, men can either get tips before they score, or they can upload details of their hookups as a result of these indubitably useful apps after they score. Nice touch, Pepsi.

I would rename this the "wishful thinking app." Because what guy who would ask his phone how he should speak to a "punk" woman because she's "staring holes into him" is really scoring at all? I love when the guy in the commercial clicks on the punk cartoon girl and it takes him to a definition of punk ("Punk rock is a genre that . . ."). Wow.

This app may try to help a man score one of 24 types of women, but it seems to be marketed to only one kind of dude: a loser.

(Tell GeekSugar the weirdest iPhone app you've ever seen and read about Pepsi's official apology.)