TresSugar

Dear Poll: Would You Want to Fit His Prototype?

DearSugar — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 13:00:00 -0800

We all have pasts, so when you date someone new, it's inevitable that someone has walked in similar shoes before you. In order to make the relationship work, it's important to let that go and understand that you are the one in the relationship now, not the ex.

With that said, in a previous poll, 36 percent of you admitted to dating a specific type of guy, so what I want to know is, would you rather fit your new boyfriend's type, or would you rather be different and stand out as the unique personality and look that was new, exciting and different for your boyfriend?

Source

A Quiz for Personality Types: Extroverts Post Here!

DearSugar — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 09:18:21 -0800

This is my absolute favorite kind of thing to do!!!

Run, don't walk, to this website and take an abbreviated version of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. Once your results are back, a page pops up that will tell you more about your type and tips on career paths, love, parenting and communication.

If you have time and want to take a longer, more comprehensive version of this test, you can go here. You have to sign in, but there's no charge. The test will take you a while, but it will also be very accurate. Plus, the site is stuffed with tons of interesting and fun information about all the types.

Come back as soon as possible and let us know your type!!!! Please use the comments to let us know if the description, career and communication details seem accurate to you!

There are 16 types, so I've had to divide the results into 2 polls, one for extraverts and one for introverts. Sorry to separate you, but please check out the conversations and results on both posts!

Oh, I'm an INFP who has also passed as an INTJ during certain phases in my life.

I can't wait to see if there are clusters of reader types on this site! Hurry back.

A Quiz for Personality Types: Introverts Post Here!

DearSugar — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 09:01:00 -0800

This is my absolute favorite kind of thing to do!!!

Come back as soon as possible and let us know your type!!!! Please use the comments to let us know if the description, career and communication details seem accurate to you!

There are 16 types, so I've had to divide the results into 2 polls, one for extraverts and one for introverts. Sorry to separate you, but please check out the conversations and results on both posts!

Oh, I'm an INTP who has also passed as an INTJ during certain phases in my life.

I can't wait to see if there are clusters of reader types on this site! Hurry back.

Ask a Wife: How Do I Stop Being the Other Woman?

TresSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:00:58 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a woman in a happy marriage tries to help out a woman stuck in an affair. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's Question:

I am involved with a married man and I don't know how to stop. He's been married for a couple of years, and his wife often goes out of town. I feel like I'm in a relationship with him: he calls or texts before he goes to sleep, cooks me dinner when he can, and we talk about almost anything with each other. I don't expect him to leave his wife for me, and it doesn't seem like he's going to. He just says he wishes we would have met before he got married. I know deep down that this is so wrong, but I feel like I can't do anything about it. I feel too happy when I'm around him. Help!

Signed,
The Other Woman

To see the advice, read more.

Dear The Other Woman,

I have some bad news and some good news. First, the bad news: you are not happy. You are in a relationship that is damaging to both you and this man's wife. The only person remotely benefiting from the situation is this unfaithful person you are involved with.

Now the good news: real happiness does exist. You can find someone - who's not married - to talk, laugh, cry, and have sex with. And it will be so much better. But first you need to do some work on yourself. Look at your life and decide what type of person you want to be. Do you want the adjectives selfish, dishonest, and disrespectful to describe who you are? Or would you rather have the words loving, faithful, and complete describe your behavior and your relationship? Next you need to boost your confidence. Think about what has made you do something that is undoubtedly so hurtful to yourself and this other woman. Is it because you are afraid of being alone? Is it because you think this is the best thing you can get? If so, let me tell you that a little patience can go a long way. Focus on the things you really enjoy in life (do you like running? painting? traveling?), the things that make you excited, and you will only become more desirable.

The search for love is a hard and frustrating one, but you are just going down a dark and depressing path with nothing but hurt waiting at the end of it. End things with this unavailable man, figure out why you love yourself, and then you will find someone who loves you for all those qualities too.

Signed,
A Wife

Hilarious or Horrifying? Trojan Can Prevent Rude Moviegoers

TresSugar — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 08:00:39 -0800

When lovers not planning on making a baby start to get busy, the last thing they want to think about is what type of person their potential child would be three decades down the road. But in this commercial, Trojan wants to remind you that you should wrap it up, lest you end up with a child who turns out to be the most obnoxious grown man ever to enter a movie theater!

Avoiding children, annoying or not, is a major reason for using protection, but this commercial sends a somewhat confusing message about contraception. If this guy weren't annoying, would it have been a good thing that his parents didn't use a condom? Do you think this is an effective message, or does it miss the mark?

Some Overweight People Are Calling For a Law to Protect Them

TresSugar — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Overt racism is not tolerated in most places, but fatism is flourishing in our society. Many overweight people say that the normal rules of decency and common courtesy don't seem to apply to them, and they're trying to organize a new rights movement.

In a news article yesterday, the BBC recounted the plight of an overweight train passenger who was beaten up by another commuter for taking up two seats. The aggressor yelled "you big fat pig" before she kicked the victim in the stomach. In addition to suffering verbal and physical abuse, overweight people who are speaking out say they are victims of systemic discrimination. For example, many airline companies in the US now charge larger passengers for two seats. Such a policy is considered illegal discrimination in Canada, where there is a one-person-one-fare law. The US has no such rule, nor is there a federal law forbidding employers from firing people because of their weight. (Michigan is alone in prohibiting employers from firing people for being overweight.)

Last year, a study from Yale revealed that weight discrimination is tolerated because many believe that people have control over their size. The truth is more complicated. Economics, health issues like type 2 diabetes, and genetics can affect a person's weight.

The study also revealed that overweight women are twice as vulnerable to discrimination than overweight men. If you want to find out if you have implicit biases against overweight people take this quiz developed by Harvard researchers. You might be surprised by the results.

Would you like to see a federal anti-weight discrimination law?

Do Tell: How Would You Define Your Type?

DearSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 07:00:35 -0700

When we're on the dating scene, finding ourselves attracted to a certain type of guy is very typical and actually quite hard to avoid. Though we always hope that we’re attracted to the right type for us, the truth of the matter is, sometimes we go for the type that’s just all wrong. But of course, it all depends on the girl. So ladies, good or bad, do tell: How would you define your type?

Source

Introducing: Ask Two Guys About Guys

TresSugar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:01:14 -0700

A few months ago, I stumbled upon the awesome book Don't Be That Guy, an illustrated book that delineated the myriad types of guys no guy should be.

There are the guys who verbally encourage themselves while working out at the gym, or guys who wear sunglasses at nonprofessional poker tournaments, or guys with Amish beards who aren't Amish (my personal fave). The list goes on.

In addition to being funny, Don't Be That Guy gave me a peek into the male psyche. It was refreshing to have a couple dudes honestly (and hilariously) list what bugs them about other guys. (I can't always be the one complaining about men!)

Well, lucky for us, writer Colin Nissan and illustrator Sean Farrell agreed to answer some nagging lady-questions for a few weeks (and maybe beyond?). So stay tuned for tomorrow's installment of Ask Two Guys About Guys, where the two guys explain the ancient mystery of why some men insist on masturbating even though they have regular sex partners. This should be fun!

Hump Day: What Are Some Unconventional Erogenous Zones?

TresSugar — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

“I would like to be a better lover. What are some unconventional erogenous zones?” To hear Dr. Glickman's answer, read more

Well, I suppose that depends on who you ask. After all, what one person considers “unconventional” is someone else’s favorite place to visit. But even so, there are some spots that not everyone knows about.

For the guys, men’s nipples are an often-overlooked pleasure zone. Some guys like pinching or twisting, but get a firm grip first. Or try sucking on them. Either way, start off light and slowly increase until you find the right level.

You could also spend a little time with his prostate. The prostate gland is found by inserting a well-lubricated finger into the anus and curving it towards the navel. It’s about the size of a golf ball, although much softer. It’s very similar to the G-spot so try stroking it, making circles or a windshield-wiper motion. Prostate play is a great addition to oral sex and it makes lots of guys’ toes curl. If you’re concerned about anal play and cleanliness, grab a glove. Some men worry that anal play is strictly gay; but remember, who you want to have sex with doesn’t have to have anything to do with what types of sex you like. (Expert Guide to Anal Play for Men or Bend Over Boyfriend are good references.)

To make your girl smile, give her clitoris or her A-spot (between her cervix and G-spot) some attention. It's at the deepest part of the vagina on the front wall, so if someone is on her back, insert a slim, curved vibrator or dildo and curve it upwards. If she’s face down, curve it down. Fingers can work if they’re a bit longer than average, too. There’s still some controversy about the A-spot and it’s not clear yet how much different women enjoy stimulating it but some women report that A-spot play leads to more vaginal lubrication and intense orgasms.

Quite a few women also report that perineum massage feels wonderful. In part, it’s because the perineal sponge is there. It’s a sort of, well, spongy tissue that engorges during arousal and it contains lots of nerve endings. Try a massage or using a vibrator there, especially during oral sex. In addition, massaging the perineum can help the pelvic muscles relax, which increases blood flow and can make both vaginal and anal penetration easier.

Of course, all of these technical skills and hot spots won’t make you a better lover if you’re not paying attention to your partner. Ask them what their favorite spots are and how they like to be touched. Some people have difficult describing what they like, but there’s an easy way to work with that. Give them two options and ask them which one they liked better. That can make it a lot easier to get the info you need to give your sweetie a thrill.

Your Personality Quirks Come Out When You Eat Out

TresSugar — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 02:00:00 -0700

People say you really get to know someone when traveling with them or living with them. To that I would add - and when you go out to eat with them.

New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni would agree. He recently wrote about the odd quirks and desires people bring to the dinner table. Whether your quirks are about sharing food, hoarding food, being picky, or pretending to make a big show of eating when you've left most of the food you started with on your plate - it seems that your relationship to eating, especially when you eat out, can be a key to your personality. "People are as strange about eating as they are about love," he says. "They want what they want."

I have to say - I’m definitely a hoarder type. I hope this doesn’t mean I’m a selfish person in other ways, but I’m not big on family-style eating. One of my biggest pleasures is going to a restaurant, poring over the menu, and after an anguished process of elimination I take dead seriously (salad or soup? steak or risotto?), I settle in and hope I chose well. (But yes - you can have a bite!) I'm a sharer when it comes to bills, however. Folks who pull out the calculator (mentally or literally) drive me bananas. And don't get me started on people who are rude to wait staff or cheap tippers!

What are your quirks when eating out?