TresSugar

Do Tell: Do You Talk About Your Co-Workers to Other Friends at Work?

DearSugar — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Even if you don't spend time with your work buddies outside of the office, you've probably made some pretty good "work friends" - you know those people you can vent to, share exciting news with, and gossip. And when the going gets tough between nine and five, they are the only ones that can understand your frustration so it's no wonder we all rely so much on them. And I know it's not the most PC thing to do, but it's pretty common to vent about other people in the office to those trusted confidants. I'll admit that I do it on occasion so do tell, do you talk about other co-workers, even your boss, to your friends at work? Don't worry, I won't tattle on you!

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Where Do You Stand: Crying at Work

DearSugar — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Generally speaking, women are more emotional than men, but there is a time and a place to let your feelings show. Since life doesn't stop just because we are at work, sometimes a bad day at the office can be more about personal strife than bad numbers. On the other hand, getting emotional over poor performance isn't all that uncommon yet we all know shedding a tear in front of co-workers, superiors, and subordinates might not be the best idea. No one wants to look weak or be seen as overly emotional in the work place, but sometimes you just can't help it! I've let my emotions get the best of me before, but tell me where you stand on crying at work? Does the idea of letting your emotions show deserve the bad wrap it has?

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A Do or a Don't: Personalizing Your Cube

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Since we spend most of our time at work, our cube or office space essentially becomes our home away from home. I've never gone so far as to put frames on my desk, but I definitely have my fair share of unique touches that makes my desk feel homey and familiar. On the flip side, some people don't even feel comfortable sharing their personal life with their co-workers so I'd assume personalizing their cube would be out of the question. What about you? Do you set up camp in order to make your workplace more pleasant or do you think adding personal touches is a don't since mixing business with pleasure can easily become too complicated?

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Handle This: Office Affair

DearSugar — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Recently you figured out that your co-worker, who you’ve always considered a friend, too, is having an adulterous relationship with your boss. She hasn't actually spilled the beans, but you've pieced it together after seeing them at a restaurant arm in arm.

She’s been making references to the new guy she’s been seeing and even asks for your input on certain personal issues. The entire situation doesn’t sit right with you, and you get the feeling that she wants to tell you but she can't. That last thing you want to do is get involved, but you’re sick of hearing about it, so how do you handle this?

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You Asked: He's Seeing a Prostitute

DearSugar — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm an admin in a really small office. Including my boss, there are only six other people in the office - four of which are full time. Part of my job is accessing my co-workers' emails to send out job descriptions and log responses back. My co-workers have to give me their passwords for me to do this, so they are well aware that I have access to their messages.

A few days ago, I popped into my co-workers' inbox to send a bulk email and I saw that he was exchanging emails with a prostitute. I won't get into the dirty details, but I'm absolutely positive that this is true - he even took a long lunch at the same time as one of their appointments. The fact that he's using his work email when he knew that I, and possibly others, could access it makes me think that on some level he wants to get caught.

I want to report him. This is both morally wrong (he has a wife and two little kids!) and really creepy. The problem is that I want to do it anonymously. My office is so small that I don't think that's possible. What can I do to protect myself? I don't want to be known as the company tattle.

- Not So Anonymous Annabelle

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more.

Dear Not So Anonymous Annabelle,

Unfortunately, since your company is so small and everyone knows that you have access to employee email inboxes, I don't see a feasible way of reporting this anonymously. However, your boss should have the ability to confront your co-worker without bringing your name into things. Keep in mind however, that it is neither you or your boss's responsibility to contact his family about this. In fact, the only business that your company has in the matter is that he's using work email for illegal purposes. Tell your boss what you've noticed. Don't go into details, keep it very professional and simply stated.

If for whatever reason your co-worker learns that it was your complaint and starts to treat you with anything but professionalism, notify your boss immediately. Don't engage in any unpleasant interactions with him. As long as you act with complete decorum then no matter what happens you'll have nothing to worry about and no reason to feel bad. Good luck.

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Do Tell: What Annoys You Most at Work?

DearSugar — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 09:00:00 -0700

A recent article on CNN.com gave some helpful suggestions on how to squash workplace wars. Sure, handling interoffice disputes is easier said than done, but in my experience, I tend to get more annoyed than engage in full-blown arguments that need a mediator. Since we all spend more time with our co-workers than our loved ones, it's no wonder friction arises from time to time. We are all adults here, and it's no one's responsibility but our own to keep the peace at work, so do tell ladies, how do you handle office fights or annoyances?

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Group Therapy: Dealing With Office Gossip

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 03:00:00 -0700

I am a manager in a large engineering firm and have a hard time dealing with the gossip mill in my office. I am fairly young and have a friendly relationship with our junior staff in addition to having a close professional relationship with my boss, who is responsible for running the office.

My issue is that some of the younger folks confide in me about work-related things about their co-workers. Often times they will specifically ask me not to tell my boss, because he has a volatile personality and sometimes blows things out of proportion. I try to respect their requests because I don't want to be seen as someone who can't be trusted, but recently, my boss found out that a junior employee was slacking off and he was furious with me for not bringing it to his attention. His point of view is that, as a manager of our firm, I have a responsibility to make him aware of what's going on. I feel like I am caught between a rock and a hard place - I don't want to keep things from my boss that affect our work, but at the same time, I don't want to be seen as a tattle. Any ideas on how to strike a balance?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Dear Poll: Do You Prefer Working With Men or Women?

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 09:00:00 -0800

In this day and age, office buildings are full of both male and female employees. While it's great to see so many hard working women in the work place, it's easy to get a reputation of being a b*tch vs. a hard working, powerful businesswoman.

Sherri Shepard from The View, who works with four other women was quoted in Entertainment Weekly saying, "I used to think women couldn't work together. Because some b*tches will work your nerves." Sure, women can have their off days, but let's face it, so can men. Since I've mainly worked with women throughout my career, let me ask you this - do you prefer working mainly with men or women?

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News to Me: Making Friends at Work Is Good for You

DearSugar — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 16:00:00 -0800

According to a recent article in New York Times, a new study says that making friends with your cubemates is beneficial to your health. Researchers from the University of Rochester Medical Center studied data collected from more than 24,000 Canadian workers in 2002 and discovered that men and women who felt they could lean on office friends for support during times of stress were two to three times less likely to suffer major bouts of depression than their coworkers who didn't have the same kind of support system.

Emma Robertson Blackmore, assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Rochester, feels these relationships are so crucial because work friends get where you're coming from, whereas your friends and family don't have the same level of understanding.

Dear's Advice: Although being chummy at work might be frowned upon by your boss, it's better for your emotional and physical wellbeing to develop relationships with those who share your grievances.

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Where Do You Stand? Dating People From Work

DearSugar — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 08:00:00 -0800

A good friend of mine met and married her now husband at work. Although there is a lot of controversy surrounding it, I think it's the perfect way to meet and get to know someone. You get to see them everyday, get a feel for how they interact with others, see what they look like on good days and bad, and have lunch dates whenever you want. Since you work together, you clearly have some common interests and many things to talk about.

There's just one thing that may not be ideal. What if things don't work out? You'd then have to live with the awkwardness of having to see and work with your ex day in and day out. So ladies, I want to know, when it comes to dating people from work, where do you stand?

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