TresSugar

Dear Poll: Have You, or Anyone You Know, Ever Been in an Abusive Relationship?

DearSugar — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 07:00:00 -0700

To wrap up our coverage of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I wanted to take things to a personal level. I've given you all sorts of helpful information and advice to use if you or anyone you know has ever been in an abusive relationship, but seeing just how many of you actually have would be very powerful to see. Blanket statistics are just numbers, but seeing how women in your own community have been affected is sure to resonate more profoundly.

So since this poll is completely anonymous, please share a little bit about yourselves and tell us, have you or anyone you know ever been in an abusive relationship?

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You Asked: Should I Leave My Boyfriend?

DearSugar — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

At what point do I end a relationship with someone I truly love who has a temper, who treats me badly, but always say he's going to change? And how do I end this relationship when I am always wanting and willing to accept his apologies and take him back? He is my everything and I don't know what to do. Please help! - Reliant Rachel

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Reliant Rachel,

While I hear you when you say you love your boyfriend, I can not reiterate enough that being with someone who has a bad temper and treats you poorly is a disaster waiting to happen - if not a current disaster.

Feeling like your boyfriend is your everything definitely adds an element of difficulty to this process, but Rachel, if all he's offering you are false promises, it's time to end this relationship. The only way he will change is if he's willing to, and it's pretty clear by the desperation in your tone that he's not. Abuse of any kind does not belong in a relationship, so get out before it's too late. You haven't given me much information here, but if you are in immediate peril, you must leave him right away, and if you've been physically hurt in any way, call 911 ASAP.

If you don't live together, this breakup will be much easier. You should immediately change your locks, install a security system, and tell your friends and family that you've decided to leave him so they are aware of the situation. However if you do live together, you must leave the house ASAP, but be sure you have an emergency plan in place first - somewhere to go, an escape route, and someone you can call for support. You should also have an emergency kit packed and easily accessible with the necessities: an ID, money, social security card, passport, an extra set of keys, and any prescription medication. (This is a good idea to have even if you don't live together as you never know when you might need it.)

The The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year if you need help finding a safe place to stay or an anonymous listening ear. I don't need to tell you that domestic abuse is a very serious matter, and although you have faith that your boyfriend will change, chances are you're just wishfully thinking. Love yourself more than him, Rachel, and take all the necessary steps to make sure you're safe and out of harm's way. Turn to your friends and family for emotional support, remember that you are not alone, and consider talking with a therapist who is trained in domestic abuse. After the dust settles, hopefully you'll be able to see that being with someone that doesn't treat you well is no relationship to be in. You deserve to be happy, to be respected, and most of all to be loved. Be safe and good luck to you.

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October Must Haves

DearSugar — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700

October is a big month. Not only does it kick off the holiday season, but there are two very important missions that take place in October - the National RESPECT! Campaign and Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I've handpicked some great must haves so you can take part in everything October has to offer. Enjoy!
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You Can Fight for the International Violence Against Women Act!

CitizenSugar — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 05:45:30 -0700

At least one out of every three women globally will be beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime, according to estimates from the United Nations Development Fund for Women.

October is Domestic Violence Prevention Month, and we are proud to be partnering with the Family Violence Prevention Fund to raise awareness about sexual assault and take a stand against child abuse.

The Family Violence Prevention Fund helped create a campaign for the International Violence Against Women Act, which would authorize $200 million annually in foreign assistance for international programs that prevent violence, support health programs and survivor services. The act encourages legal accountability, a change in public attitudes, the promotion of access to economic opportunity projects and education, and addresses violence against women in humanitarian situations.

You can get involved by researching the effort and, assuming you agree with it, urging your member of Congress to co-sponsor it.

You can also take the part in the RESPECT! campaign by sending your respect in a text or support the cause by buying the RESPECT! bracelet.

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The RESPECT! Campaign and Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DearSugar — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 05:45:00 -0700

The following information about female abuse might shock you. In fact, I hope it does so that you'll join the fight to prevent domestic abuse: The United Nations Development Fund for Women estimates that at least one out of every three women globally will be beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime, with rates reaching 70 percent in some countries. Additionally, a World Health Organization report found that in women ages 15-44 years, violence accounts for more death and disability than cancer, malaria, traffic injuries and war put together.

Oct. 1 kicks off Domestic Violence Prevention Month and Sugar Inc. is joining forces with the Family Violence Prevention Fund to help educate you and raise awareness about domestic abuse, sexual assault, and child abuse here at home as well as internationally.

To learn more about the International Violence Prevention Act, the centerpiece of this campaign, be sure to check in with my friends over at CitizenSugar. I'll also be bringing you information throughout the month of October on this ever important campaign, but in the meantime, take action yourself by making sure your member of Congress has already signed on to co-sponsor the International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA). You can also participate in the RESPECT! Campaign by purchasing and wearing RESPECT! on your wrist (half the proceeds benefit the RESPECT! Campaign) or by sending your support via text.

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All We're Asking Is For a Little Respect

DearSugar — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 05:45:00 -0700

We talk a lot about respect on DearSugar, so today's National Respect Day caught my eye. The RESPECT! Campaign is adding more meaning to this important word by educating people about domestic violence. So I'm excited to announce that the Sugar Network is partnering with the Family Violence Prevention Fund to raise awareness about sexual assault and take a stand against child abuse.

Do you know that one in three women will experience some form of abuse in her lifetime? It's a pretty scary statistic, and the RESPECT! Campaign wants to be part of the solution. The multiyear campaign kicks off today, Sept. 19 - the first-annual National Respect Day - and since DearSugar is an official partner, I'll be bringing you all sorts of educational posts throughout the month of October, with statistics on family violence and how you can help prevent it.

Prominent men like Tyson Beckford are lending their voices to the effort, and anyone can get involved by purchasing the official RESPECT! bracelet or making a donation by texting the word "RESPECT" from your cell phone. Meanwhile, you can join the RESPECT! group on TeamSugar, and be sure to add GiveRespect as a friend.

Big Tent Sale? Log Cabin Republicans Remodel the Campaign

CitizenSugar — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 08:00:14 -0700

It's a coming out of a whole different variety: gay Republicans (sometimes known as Log Cabin Republicans, the gay and lesbian Republican grassroots organization) coming clean about their party affiliation. It's a tricky sell for the average homosexual who is for strong national defense, limited spending and other Republican party favors. It's a pairing of identities that leaves some feeling like, "you're not liked by either side."

One Log Cabin Republican in Texas says, "Some people think it's more difficult to come out as Republican to a gay friend, than to come out as gay to a straight friend." This could be especially true as the official Texas Republican Party platform says that homosexuality "tears at the fabric" of society, and blames diseases on the gay community. The Texan, gay GOP-er acknowledges, "There's a lot of hurtful and hateful language that we'd like to get stripped out of that platform." His partner knows the election day bottom line will eventually win over detractors saying, "They know our votes and our money [is] significant."

To see how the Log Cabin Republicans play into the current election, read more.

It's worth noting that the national Republican Party platform doesn't contain the same language that the Texas platform does, and in fact, the McCain campaign has realized the value of this group of voters. At the convention this month, senior strategist Steve Schmidt met with the Log Cabin Republicans saying, “I just wanted to take a second to come by and pay my respect and the campaign’s respect to your organization and to your group. Your organization is an important one in the fabric of our party.”

This event was the first time in history that the Log Cabin Republicans has been fully credentialed guests of the GOP host committee. This bigger tent of inclusion could be behind their endorsement of John McCain for president, four years after refusing to endorse George W. Bush. During the endorsement, Log Cabin President Patrick Sammon said, “Sen. McCain showed courage by bucking his own party’s leadership and the president-twice voting against the [federal marriage] amendment. He gave an impassioned speech on the Senate floor, calling the amendment ‘antithetical in every way to the core philosophy of Republicans.’ He paid a political price for his vote.”

Given language like that which is included in the Texas platform, does being a gay Republican make sense? Is the Republican party on its way to more inclusion and a bigger tent?

Debt Clock Maxes Out & Five Historic Financial Meltdowns

CitizenSugar — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 12:15:11 -0700

The national debt came up last night at the debate, with Obama pointing out that it's doubled since 2000. Yikes. The famous debt clock in New York City, the one that calculates what we owe right before your very eyes is feeling the squeeze - literally. The counter, put up in in 1989, just ran out of space to calculate the debt as it passed $10 trillion. Oops. I know it seems all gloom and doom but how does what's happening now stack up? Here's a quick and dirty look at economic uh-ohs through the ages:

The Panic of 1907: After a 25 percent decline in the market left investors scared and pulling money out, and the government dependent on JP Morgan to help stop the domino effect, the government created the Federal Reserve System.

The Wall Street Crash of 1929: Over the course of three days, three times the normal amount of shares were traded causing prices to tumble. On Black Monday and Tuesday, the market lost 13 and 12 percent respectively. That week's losses were $30 billion, 10 times more than government budget and more than the cost of WWI. When it reached bottom in July 1932 the market had lost 89 percent and would take 25 years to recover.

To see the rest, read more.

The Great Depression: On President Hoover's watch, 9,000 banks failed and newly homeless Americans set up shanty towns called "Hoovervilles," an image that haunts his legacy to date. When Roosevelt took over in 1933 he initiated the New Deal, the effects of which we still see today in Social Security, the FDIC, and the FHA.
The Oil Crisis of 1973: When the US supported Israel in the Yom Kippur War against Syria and Egypt, members of OPEC shut off oil exports to the US quadrupling the per-barrel cost of crude. The government responded by rationing gas and imposing a national speed limit of 55 m.p.h.
The Savings & Loan Crisis of 1989: The real-estate boom of the 1980s caused the S&L industry to grow very quickly, overextending the institutions whose job was to collect money from people in the form of savings, and then loan that same money out in the form of mortgages. When people started pulling their money out for higher interest rates in money market accounts, trouble, also the Keating Five, ensued.

For five more economic panics that lend at least a little perspective on the current day, and more info about the five above, the whole piece is definitely worth a read.

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Iran's Ahmadinejad: We Don't Want Confrontation With Anyone

LibertySugar — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 15:45:36 -0700

Anti-Ahmadinejad rallies outside the UN today turned into anti-Obama rallies critical of the senator's support of talks with Iran. Meanwhile, NPR opened a dialogue of its own with the Iranian president. Here are some highlights from Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's interview with the station, during which he says Iran seeks no confrontation.

On Iran's stated plans to enrich uranium for energy, not for a bomb:
The people of the world, the majority actually, support our stand. One hundred eighteen member states of NAM have declared their commitment to our program and supported it. The Non-Aligned Movement. And 57 member states of the OIC, the Organization of the Islamic Conference, too have supported our position. . . . You are speaking of only three or four countries, led by the United States and with a couple of their European friends, and we don't care about them, because they don't represent the whole world.
On whether international confrontation is in Iran's interest:
We do not have any confrontation with anyone. We seek relations based on respect and justice. . . . Why is it that the US administration and two or three groups that follow it allow themselves to speak for the world?
On the American elections:
I ask you, can anyone in fact become a president without the support of either of the two parties here in the United States? . . . Are 300 million people here in America members of either of the two parties? No, not necessarily. People have no other choices here. You only have two choices. In Iran, at least, we have eight. Who is more free? Who has more confidence in its people?

To find out how Iran's president addresses his statements toward Israel, freedoms in Iran, and how he thinks the US and Iran can move forward, read more.

On whether rhetoric about wiping Israel off the map plays into the hands of Bush:
You are aware that 55 years ago, the US government overthrew the national government of Iran. . . . For over 25 years under the dictatorship, hundreds of thousands of our people went to prison . . . whilst our oil was being looted by American companies. Our people were demeaned. Our independence was harmed. Until the Iranian people rose [in] a popular and democratic event to create the Islamic revolution. . . . While America was there, we had no elections in our country. . . . The eight years of war between Saddam [Hussein] and our country were actually supported directly by the United States. From day one, our people were - sanctions were imposed on our people. So who exactly is the provocateur? Who is the one who seeks war?
On whether the US and Iran can move forward:
Well, yes. Of course, we've never entered the US and caused problems for the people here, but the American government has done that to us. So our first proposal is that they have to stop doing that.
On what Iran could do:
I sent a letter to Mr. Bush. That was a very good opening. I even said that I am prepared to talk at the United Nations with them. We responded positively to the request made by US government to extend a hand of cooperation in a joint security commission involved in upholding a security force for Iraq.
On freedoms in Iran:
There's a lot of freedom in Iran. The example is our interview with you. Can you ask your own president these questions? Can you really so freely meet with him so easily? Never.

After reading Ahmadinejad's interview, would you like US leaders sit down with him?
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Do You Think This Time Cover Disrespects Veterans?

CitizenSugar — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 06:00:52 -0700

Controversy is raging over the image on this week's cover of Time magazine. It shows that famous picture of soldiers raising the flag over Iwo Jima, but in the place of the flag, is a tree. Earth Day is this week, but co-opting this famous image in the name of ecology has made some veterans livid.

"I am a Marine, 82 years old that landed on Iwo Jima Feb. 19, 1945. This crap you have on your magazine – you can put it where the sun does not shine."

Another Marine, the man who led the platoon that actually raised the flag on Iwo Jima addresses the crux of the cover saying, "global warming is the biggest joke I've ever known."

Forced to address the backlash, the associate director of public relations for Time certainly sees it differently:

TIME has the utmost respect for our nation’s veterans and we well understand the power of the iconic image of the raising of the flag over Iwo Jima. We believe this is a respectful use of this symbol of American valor and courage and serves to highlight another great challenge facing our nation.

I asked my grandfather, whom I consider my go-to expert for all matters of the military and patriotism and he said, "It's not that they were disrespectful of the image or the event, it's that those men didn't get a say whether they wanted their likenesses from that moment in time, used for another purpose other than its original meaning."

What do you think? Is the cover just a creative way to take an iconic struggle and assign it modern meaning? Or is Time way out of line?