TresSugar

National Get Over It Day: A Little Humor Never Hurt

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 10:35:00 -0800

Oh, it's way too easy to ruminate and obsess, to become lost in a maze of seriousness, heaviness and despair. One of my favorite things about my partner is his knack for seeing the goofiness or humor in most situations. And he knows when and where to switch gears, which is a good thing.

Thing is, sometimes we need help getting another perspective. And sometimes the best way to relieve a little tension is to laugh; I always know I'm in a solid place when I can laugh at myself. In that spirit, we're doing a shout-out for National Get Over It Day here at DearSugar.

Ladies, is it time to quit trying to understand or make sense of something? Is it time to just let it go? Figure it out later, much later? If so, today's the day: write about it here, say goodbye, and make room for something else. I'd suggest picking something small but annoying; work up to the big stuff, maybe.

Pulitzers Can't Afford Award For Writing on Financial Crisis?

TresSugar — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:03:55 -0700

It's a big day for people who write articles that get awards - the day the 2009 Pulitzer Prizes are announced. (The Pulitzer Prize is considered the highest national honor that can be bestowed to newspaper journalists, literary writers, and composers.) This year all the hoo-hah is over what won instead of who.

So what did win? Here's the breakdown for journalism awards:

Three awards for the presidential election
Two political sex scandals
Two humanitarian crises
Two on people's right to know
One on the Iraq war
One on the environment (wildfires)
One on art

I'm hardly the first to point it out, but the glaring omission is there's no award for coverage of the financial crisis. Maybe because nobody saw it coming? There's no Pulitzer for Best Hindsight.

Is it crazy that articles on sex scandals received two awards while writing on the worst recession since 1982 was ignored? It might be, but who really cares about Pulitzer Prizes? This guy?

The Obamas Visited 60 Minutes Last Night - Did You Watch?

CitizenSugar — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 01:00:00 -0800

President-elect Barack Obama and his wife Michelle addressed the economic crisis, transition, national security, his cabinet, and even the presidential pooch in their first post-election interview with Steve Kroft from 60 Minutes last night. When asked about Hillary Clinton, who is rumored to be his Secretary of State pick, Obama said, "She is somebody who I needed advice and counsel from. She is one of the most thoughtful public officials that we have. Beyond that, you're not getting anything out of me," but that announcements are coming "soon."

Here are highlights from the interview:

60 Minutes: How's your life changed in the last ten days?
Barack Obama: Well, I tell you what, there seem to be more people hovering around me. That's for sure. And, on the other hand, I'm sleeping in my own bed over the last ten days, which is quite a treat. Michelle always wakes up earlier than I do. So listen to her roaming around and having the girls come in and, you know, jump in your bed. It's a great feeling. Yeah.
60 Minutes: Has this been easier than the campaign trail?
Barack Obama: Well, it's different. I think that during the campaign it is just a constant frenetic, forward momentum. Here, I'm stationary. But the issues come to you. And we've got a lot of work to do. We've got a lot of problems, a lot of big challenges.
60 Minutes: Have there been moments when you've said, 'What did I get myself into?'
Barack Obama: Surprisingly enough, I feel right now that I'm doing what I should be doing. That gives me a certain sense of calm. I will say that the challenges that we're confronting are enormous. And they're multiple. And so there are times during the course of a given a day where you think, 'Where do I start?'

To see what Barack said he's been concentrating on since the election, read more.

60 Minutes: What have you been concentrating on this week?
Barack Obama: Couple of things. Number one, I think it's important to get a national security team in place because transition periods are potentially times of vulnerability to a terrorist attack. We wanna make sure that there is as seamless a transition on national security as possible. Obviously the economy. Talking to top economic advisers about how we're gonna create jobs, how we get the economy back on track and what do we do in terms of some long-term issues like energy and health care. And how do we sequence those things in a way that we can actually get things through Congress?

To see the full transcript from the interview, visit the 60 Minutes website. Did you tune in, and if so, what did you think?

Thanksgiving Party Crib Sheet: 10 Hot Dinner Table Topics

CitizenSugar — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 03:00:59 -0800

Thanksgiving is all about family, delicious food, fancy drinks, and, of course, small talk about the state of the nation, gas prices, and our president-elect. Debating politics with family members can get dicey, so I suggest doing your homework and having a safety net of topics that will encourage healthy conversation and smart family bonding without alienating those who, well, don't agree with you.

Whether your aim is a heated, controversial debate or lighthearted banter, here are some stories that are sure to get the crowd talking. (Note: Number 10 might be best served during cocktail hour and not over your Thanksgiving spread.)

Thanksgiving-Themed Outfits Forbidden in Class - A group of children in Claremont, CA, weren't allowed to dress up as pilgrims and Native Americans this year for their classroom Thanksgiving after parents deemed the controversial costumes demeaning.
President Bush Calls Iraq War a Success - While debris from collapsing financial institutions continue to fall during the final days of the Bush administration, the president has found something he considers a "success" - the Iraq war.
Top 5 Most Dangerous Cities List Released - The latest City Crime Rankings looked at reported incidents of six major crimes to determine the most dangerous dwellings in the US. With a population of only 250,000 that changed drastically after Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans came out on top. Was your city on the list?

For more juicy conversation starters, read more.

Unemployed Fred Thompson Decides to Go Back to Acting - While he failed to convince enough Americans to make him president, Republican Fred Thompson still has a shot at playing commander-in-chief. The former presidential candidate, US Senator, and (pretend) NYC district attorney plans to go back to acting.
Eliot Spitzer's Call Girl Ashley Dupré Talks to 20/20 - Reformed call girl Ashley "Kristen" Dupré has finally opened up about her experience with "Client No. 9," or as you may know him, former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer. Dupré told Diane Sawyer that escorts differ from prostitutes because they offer "more than sex."
Intelligence Report Says Dominance Set to Wane by 2025 - Americans might need to start practicing being humble, because by 2025 the US could lose its position of global supremacy.
DVD Explains How to Fight the Local Gay Agenda - The American Family Association's latest DVD - They're Coming to Your Town - teaches unsuspecting Christian communities how to prevent gays from taking over their towns. If you're so inclined, you can purchase the DVD in a five-pack and distribute it to your friends or Sunday school teachers.
Will Smoking Make Obama a Better President? - Barack Obama may like to work out, but that doesn't mean he's snuffed out all unhealthy habits. Barack promised first-lady-to-be Michelle that he would quit smoking back in 2007 - that much we know. Yet it still remains unclear whether Barack successfully quit, and the president-elect hasn't given a direct answer, nor has the media demanded one.
The City of Love Issues a Manual to Stop Forced Marriages - Paris, the universal capital of love and romance, created a manual on forced marriages this week to help officials spot and prevent cases of young women being forced into matrimony.
Did Sarah Palin Ruin Thanksgiving? - You may have heard Sarah Palin can hunt and skin a moose, but did you know that she could give an interview while someone else slaughters turkeys in the background? In the video that hit the web this week, Palin chats about Alaska's state budget and her experience on the campaign trail, while turkeys meet their dark, headless fates. (Warning! Watching this video could prevent you from eating turkey on Thanksgiving or ever again.)

Big Tent Sale? Log Cabin Republicans Remodel the Campaign

CitizenSugar — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 08:00:14 -0700

It's a coming out of a whole different variety: gay Republicans (sometimes known as Log Cabin Republicans, the gay and lesbian Republican grassroots organization) coming clean about their party affiliation. It's a tricky sell for the average homosexual who is for strong national defense, limited spending and other Republican party favors. It's a pairing of identities that leaves some feeling like, "you're not liked by either side."

One Log Cabin Republican in Texas says, "Some people think it's more difficult to come out as Republican to a gay friend, than to come out as gay to a straight friend." This could be especially true as the official Texas Republican Party platform says that homosexuality "tears at the fabric" of society, and blames diseases on the gay community. The Texan, gay GOP-er acknowledges, "There's a lot of hurtful and hateful language that we'd like to get stripped out of that platform." His partner knows the election day bottom line will eventually win over detractors saying, "They know our votes and our money [is] significant."

To see how the Log Cabin Republicans play into the current election, read more.

It's worth noting that the national Republican Party platform doesn't contain the same language that the Texas platform does, and in fact, the McCain campaign has realized the value of this group of voters. At the convention this month, senior strategist Steve Schmidt met with the Log Cabin Republicans saying, “I just wanted to take a second to come by and pay my respect and the campaign’s respect to your organization and to your group. Your organization is an important one in the fabric of our party.”

This event was the first time in history that the Log Cabin Republicans has been fully credentialed guests of the GOP host committee. This bigger tent of inclusion could be behind their endorsement of John McCain for president, four years after refusing to endorse George W. Bush. During the endorsement, Log Cabin President Patrick Sammon said, “Sen. McCain showed courage by bucking his own party’s leadership and the president-twice voting against the [federal marriage] amendment. He gave an impassioned speech on the Senate floor, calling the amendment ‘antithetical in every way to the core philosophy of Republicans.’ He paid a political price for his vote.”

Given language like that which is included in the Texas platform, does being a gay Republican make sense? Is the Republican party on its way to more inclusion and a bigger tent?

Ask E. Jean For DearSugar: Can a Relationship Without Sex Work?

DearSugar — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Dear E. Jean,

I'm trying to sort out my dilemma, which concerns the man I've been dating for two months - he's 34, me 30. We have an incredible amount of things in common, laugh a lot together, both have our ducks in a row career-wise and financially. We love surfing together, making dinner, biking, we've traveled together twice without a hitch, gee what a match!

Well after about a month of wonderful, he freaks out and doesn't call me one night we have plans. I call him the next day, and he tells me he had a freak-out because we’ve been having sex, which doesn't align with his Christian values. Now he knows it's wrong. So end result, he wants to date, but no more sex.

He's been engaged twice before, both ended by the ladies. He thinks he may have rushed into the engagements because he's Christian and believes in waiting until marriage for sex.

Another month goes by. He says I've been “amazing and sweet”. He says I’m fun and he likes that I don't play games. He says I "have all the qualities he would want in a girlfriend," but he's not there yet. My stunned response was "it's only been two months . . . we're still just getting to know each other, so dating is fine."

My questions: Am I being let down easy; should I get out now? I wonder why he wants to continue seeing me. I feel like on paper I'm his ideal, attractive, outdoorsy, fun, laid-back, low-maintenance woman but perhaps something is missing for him and he wants to make sure? Or is he just looking to not be alone? Would I regret it more if I ended it now (the constant flip-flopping is killing me), or gave it a chance only to have another whammy delivered later? Or am I overthinking it entirely and should just live my life and let the chips fall where they may?

Speaking of which, we have not had sex since “the talk,” and have barely fooled around, in fact he rarely touches me now - a big problem. He acknowledges that he's not very affectionate.

Help! I can't sleep, because I alternate between crying because I feel so rejected, and angry that he's so all over the map. That's my story. I feel like there’s potential with him, but is it worth it? Oh, I should comment that I am not Christian, but very supportive of his values, and thought it was so refreshing to date someone that believes in faithfulness and honesty and the sanctity of marriage. - Nauseated in San Diego

To see E. Jean's answer read more.

Miss Nauseated, My Luv, I have one word for you: RRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn!

This poor lad sounds like a decent guy, but he’s no more “rushing” into marriage than Heidi Montag is rushing to gain weight on her thighs. If he liked sex, he’d have walked down the aisle years and years ago. (Many deeply religious people marry young, make superbly stable marriages, and enjoy just ridiculously hot rumpty dumpty about three times a day.)

So, to answer your questions:
Yes. You are “being let down.”
Yes. You should “get out now.”
Yes. “Something” is “missing for him.”
Yes. You are “overthinking it.”
Yes. He has “more issues than National Geographic.”
And to answer the one question you didn’t ask:
Yes. He is gay.

To see more advice from E. Jean, visit Elle Magazine and AskEJean.com.

Do You Think This Time Cover Disrespects Veterans?

CitizenSugar — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 06:00:52 -0700

Controversy is raging over the image on this week's cover of Time magazine. It shows that famous picture of soldiers raising the flag over Iwo Jima, but in the place of the flag, is a tree. Earth Day is this week, but co-opting this famous image in the name of ecology has made some veterans livid.

"I am a Marine, 82 years old that landed on Iwo Jima Feb. 19, 1945. This crap you have on your magazine – you can put it where the sun does not shine."

Another Marine, the man who led the platoon that actually raised the flag on Iwo Jima addresses the crux of the cover saying, "global warming is the biggest joke I've ever known."

Forced to address the backlash, the associate director of public relations for Time certainly sees it differently:

TIME has the utmost respect for our nation’s veterans and we well understand the power of the iconic image of the raising of the flag over Iwo Jima. We believe this is a respectful use of this symbol of American valor and courage and serves to highlight another great challenge facing our nation.

I asked my grandfather, whom I consider my go-to expert for all matters of the military and patriotism and he said, "It's not that they were disrespectful of the image or the event, it's that those men didn't get a say whether they wanted their likenesses from that moment in time, used for another purpose other than its original meaning."

What do you think? Is the cover just a creative way to take an iconic struggle and assign it modern meaning? Or is Time way out of line?

Is It Just Me, or Do China's "SATs" Make Ours Look Like ABCs?

CitizenSugar — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 07:04:00 -0700

If you still wake up from nightmares about missing your SATs consider how you'd feel if they had lasted two days instead of a couple hours! Slate's Dispatches put together an book-cracking profile of China's SATs in time for the country's 31st annual National College Entrance Exam, also known as the "gaoko." Here's what you should know (I promise, it will help put a halt to those "show up at school naked" dreams. . .):

The exams take place over two days the first week of every June and at least 10 million Chinese high school students took them this year. Test takers are competing for an estimated 5.7 million university spots. If you're too tired to do the math that means almost half the people who take the exam won't get a university spot.
About 70 million Chinese have taken the gaokao and more than 30 million have enrolled at universities over the last three decades, according to Reuters.
Forget extra curricular activities and merit awards! Students become aware of the gaokao at an early age because it is the sole criterion for university admission.
The entire country stops and accommodates "millions of nervous gaokao-takers," says Slate. "Traffic cops will redirect vehicles away from test centers, and construction sites will pause their incessant drilling. Even in Sichuan, tents have been erected in case aftershocks require students to be moved from testing centers. Many Chinese citizens find the system painful, inflexible, and ineffective."

Wondering what happens if you don't ace the test and why the system can help lower classes, then read more.

The gaoko is only offered once a year, but students that aren't happy with their scores can retake the test the following year.
The test has been criticized for squashing creativity or individuality, but is perceived by some to the the only "objective yardstick by which to measure academic success."
In theory students' social and economic statuses don't matter. One of the girls Slate profiles said the test "allows someone very poor the opportunity to rise out of poverty."
The test is supposed to be uniform nationally, but is actually modified by each province to accommodate the quality of local education.

Feel like testing your skills? Danwei has translations of some of the essay questions from the 2007 exam as reported by the Beijing Evening News and the Xinmin Evening News. No #2 pencil required.

Source

Gay Marriage Is on Now! Know the Debate Behind the Bells?

LibertySugar — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 06:00:53 -0700

Today most counties in California, the nation's most populous state, will begin their first full day of issuing marriage licenses to committed couples, regardless their gender combination. San Francisco kicked things off last night at 5:00 p.m., with Mayor Gavin Newsom marrying Phyllis Lyon, 87 and Del Martin, 84, who have been in love for over 50 years.

Take this quiz to find out if you've been following our gay rights coverage. After you get your results, you'll see some lovely highlights from many diverse stories. And for some laughs, watch Stephen Colbert interview a gay rights activist in his hilarious segment "Better Know a Gay Lobbyist."

Stay tuned for our exclusive eye-witness coverage of the same-sex ceremonies taking place at San Francisco's city hall today. Do you think we will see ceremonies like this spreading across the country or a more organized effort to halt the movement?

Source

Take the quiz

You Asked: I'm Struggling With Depression

DearSugar — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

This time last year I was in love and in the process of moving to be near my boyfriend for a new teaching job. I got a place of my own, which turned out to be a good thing since he broke up with me early in my first term of teaching. Ever since then I have been having waves of depression. As I'm new to the area, I've really had to force friendships with colleagues, and I always get the feeling that they wouldn’t really care if I was around or not. I don’t have any friends outside of school at all - I keep in touch with my old friends, but it's not the same.

The only person I do have is my ex-boyfriend. His new girlfriend, however, hates that we are friends (he chose to be with her over me) so I can’t even have a normal friendship with him! I don’t love him anymore, I just want his friendship. Work has also been a challenge and I've found that with all these things going badly in my life, I have gotten into a serious cycle of binging and then starving myself. I do snap out of it every once in a while but I heavily monitor what I eat. I know that I need help to get out of the depression but my doctor was useless and told me to come back in a few months if I felt any worse! What can I do?

- Feeling Hopeless Holly

To see DearSugar's answer read more.

Dear Feeling Hopeless Holly,

When we feel as though our lives are spinning out of control, it's not uncommon to establish new ways to elicit some control, usually through our bodies or eating habits. Obviously, you're really struggling right now, but it's good that you're aware of your problem and looking for help.

First and foremost, find a new psychiatrist or therapist who specializes in depression and eating disorders. Your closest health center is a great resource for locating local physicians, but I also recommend checking out the National Eating Disorders Association. In the meantime, start journaling your feelings when you're binging, starving, and every time in between. Knowing how each of these acts make you feel will help you work through them with a professional.

Oftentimes depression is best categorized by a feeling of hopelessness, so start trying to build hope for yourself. It may sound silly, but taking time each day to remind yourself that you will feel better eventually, and will one day be living the life you want for yourself can really make a difference. Sit down and think about where you really want to be and put together a list of things you can do to get there. Perhaps that means moving closer to family or meeting new people in your current community. Don't be afraid to reach out to your old friends for support - you might be surprised how people can come forward when someone needs help. But, most importantly, make that appointment to talk to someone right away.

Source