TresSugar

Name That Lube

DearSugar — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

For sex to feel good, a woman has to be warmed up. That's why foreplay is so important - it gets her juices flowing. But sometimes she may need a little help from a bottle, so let's see how well you know the brands of these lubricants!

Question 1 of 7

Which company makes this water-based lube?

Hump Day: Is My Cold Sore Contagious?

TresSugar — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column! Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

“I know that cold sores are the same virus as herpes. Is it a bad idea to go down on my boy when I have one? Is it transmissible that way?” To hear what Dr. Glickman has to say, read more.

Dr. Glickman's Answer:

YES!!!

There are two types of herpes virus: HSV-1 and HSV-2. Oral herpes is usually HSV-1 and it’s estimated that 80 percent of the population has been exposed to it. Genital herpes is usually HSV-2 and it’s estimated that 25 percent of women and 12 percent of men have it. However, genital herpes can be caused by either version of the virus, so going down on someone when you have a cold sore (another name for a herpes outbreak) can spread it. To make things a bit more complicated, only about 1/3 of the people who have genital herpes are aware of it - either they’ve never had an outbreak or the outbreak was very mild. (See herpes.com for more info.)

Part of what makes herpes tricky is that it can be transmitted even when you don’t have a visible outbreak. The virus lives in your nervous system and every so often, it’ll come to the surface. It’s especially likely to happen when you’re sick or have been stressed for a while. There’s evidence that the virus starts shedding from the skin (and is therefore potentially contagious) before any visible symptoms. It’s a low risk, but it’s a possibility. To make matters worse, if the site of the shedding isn’t covered by a condom, it can be spread even when you’re practicing safer sex.

While herpes can be uncomfortable, it doesn’t represent nearly as much risk as other sexually transmissible infections (STIs) such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, human papilloma virus (HPV), or HIV. Having said that, there’s evidence that HSV-2 makes HIV transmission more likely. See this article for more information about how that works.

It’s also worth mentioning that I’ve seen a lot of people get really upset about STIs when they don’t get nearly as upset about any other health issue. I’ve also seen a lot of people who have all sorts of judgment about STIs but think nothing of going to work and sharing their flu germs (or worse)! STIs can be unpleasant, annoying, or life-threatening, but they don’t mean anything about the person who has them any more than chicken pox or measles do. Negative attitudes about STIs are a holdover from before we invented antibiotics and when diseases such as syphilis were seen as the wages of sin. But now we know that they’re just germs and we don’t need to shame people for having them. (Not that I’m saying that you’re doing that, but I wanted to mention it.)

The best thing that we can all do is to get tested for STIs regularly, even if you’ve never had a symptom. Lots of people have STIs and don’t know it. Check your local Planned Parenthood or other agency for information, although I recommend going with anonymous testing in order to ensure your privacy.

And safer sex is always a good choice. It’s easy to do, with a little practice. Using a lubricant can make safer sex more enjoyable since latex tends to have a bit more friction than skin. Try a silicone-based brand if you’re prone to yeast infections. Water-based brands are a bit easier to clean up since they rinse away.

If you or your partner don’t like the way condoms feel, try a different brand. The Japanese-process condoms such as Maxx and Skinless Skin are more sheer than other types. Or you could give Skyn a whirl. It’s made from polyisoprene, rather than latex, so it’s very sheer and both people will get more sensation.

Given that you have oral herpes, you might want to talk with your boyfriend about using condoms for oral sex. If you go that route, change the condom before having intercourse. That will make sure that you don’t spread the herpes virus to your vulva or vagina. It’ll also reduce the risk of your condom breaking; teeth can cause small abrasions that weaken the condom.

For an excellent, sex-positive read on safer sex, check out The Hot Guide to Safer Sex . It’s full of helpful advice and great tips.

Love It or Leave It: Man's Grease

DearSugar — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Lubrication during sex is a must sometimes, but many types have a runny consistency, which can end up dripping onto your sheets and not much staying where you need it to be. I guess that's why Man's Grease was born. It's a thick and "luxurious cream" so it'll stay put on your privates, but it's made with mineral oil so you don't want to use this lube with latex condoms since it'll deteriorate the material. Would you be into trying a creamy lubricant or does the name totally turn you off?

Sex Can Hurt

DearSugar — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 08:00:00 -0700

Sex is supposed to feel good - we can all agree on that. The thing is though, in order for a woman to get sexually aroused, she's got to be into it emotionally. She needs to feel loved and wanted, and if that's not happening, usually the woman won't get excited, and if she's not excited, her lady business won't create the natural lubrication that's so necessary for making sex feel good.

Click here to read more

That's the whole purpose of foreplay - you've got to warm up the car before you take it for a spin! All that kissing, touching, eye contact, and exchange of loving words arouses women so they're ready for intercourse. If a woman is dry, sex will be painful for her. Also, if you are on hormonal birth control or allergy medicine, vaginal dryness can be one of the annoying side effects.

Whatever the reason for your dryness, there's a personal lubricant out there to help. Astroglide feels very much like what your body creates naturally, but you may feel embarrassed picking up a bottle with a name like that. KY also makes a lubricant that seems less about sex, their Touch Massage 2-in-1 warming and tingling products, that can be used all over your body. Whatever you choose, you'll be happy that you did - it'll make your experience so much better if you suffer from vaginal dryness.

Dear's Advice: Some condoms contain spermicidal lubricant, but I'd steer clear of these - they can cause painful irritation for some women. Look for the condoms that contain only the lubricant without the spermicide.

What's the Deal With the Dental Dam?

DearSugar — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 08:00:00 -0800

A dental dam, also called an oral dam, is a square piece of thin latex or polyurethane, the same that's used to make male condoms. It's placed over a woman's vulva and/or anus during oral sex to prevent the spread of STIs. They get their name from their use during dental procedures to keep teeth dry (my dentist totally uses these).

They come in a variety of sizes and flavors, but in order for them to work, they must be used consistently and correctly. They're really easy to use even though they may seem a little awkward at first. Just open the package, rinse it off under water (they come with a powdery talc on them), and you're good to go. The person performing oral sex just holds the dam over his or her partner's private parts and that's it, you're safe and protected. The receiving person can apply a water-based lubricant on their vulva or anus, and this should help keep the dam in place and increase sensations.

This may be obvious, but when you use a dental dam, only use one side. Don't flip it over as this can transmit fluids, and never reuse a dental dam.

Where can you find them? Some drug stores may carry dental dams, but your best bet is to order them online. Sheer Glyde Dams are approved by the FDA and come in Wildberry, Vanilla, or Strawberry flavors. Buy them in packs of four ($5.95) or packs of 12 ($12.95). This may not be the most glamorous thing to keep in your nightstand drawer, but anything that keeps you protected against STIs gets a thumbs up in my book.