TresSugar

My Cat Hates You

GiggleSugar — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 02:00:00 -0800

We thought we'd be all edgy here at GiggleSugar and provide a little hate to the love goin' on during Valentine's. So here is Chompers, a cat who hates you but who loves hooking up cross-species style. Thanks ashleyk4214!

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 11:56:52 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

"Ready for coffee yet?" I e-mailed Leah, "I am DYING to tell you about my crazy weekend with Jordon...." "I can't" was the quick response. Curious since she was always so eager to hear the details of my one night stands that turn into a full weekend. Wait, was Jordan his name again? "Okay, well then, when?" Was my impatient reply. What was going on with her? "In 1 hour, I'm dealing with something right now. Star-bee's, k?" Leah responded. "K" I said. What was I going to do for one whole hour? I really wanted to tell her about Jordon, and find out what was going on with her!

I arrived at starbucks an hour later. That's odd, she usually arrives before me whenever we make plans to meet up I hope she's ok. She arrived 15 minutes late. I had already ordered my mochiato, and she went and ordered a white blueberry unsweetened shaken iced tea. She sat down and it began to rain outside.

"So what was the big hold up?," I asked Leah. "I was making an appointment for Caleb." Caleb was her three year old son and she just recently went back to work since having him. She had been freaking out ever since he has started pre-school. She cant stand being away from him for a full 8 hrs. She is constantly making appointments for him, always worried he has caught something from another child. "Well I want to tell you all about Jordon! Or wait...was his name George? Haha--"

"Angela!? Are you ever going to grow up! You're 34! What's up with all of the flings all the time!?," Leah screamed at me. "Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez. What is your problem?" I was shocked. Leah had never responded this way to my flings before. Leah burst into tears. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I've just been so jealous lately because I've been tied down with Josh and the baby. I miss our fun time together and I'm stressed about the baby and working. I'm so sorry."

Okay, so this was new. I carefully thought about it and then said. "I totally understand but you gotta remember not everything's greener on the other side of the fence. Granted we always had a blast in the past but remember all the heartache you were put through? Look at what you have now," I said with a smile. "I on the other hand..." "I am jumping from one bed to another at a pace that would stand freud's hair on end. Your son is beautiful, healthy and adores his wonderful mommy. Stop already. You can live the wild life through me! Now listen to MY story..."

Jordon's truck rumbled down the old dirt road as the blindfold tugged uncomfortably at Angela's hair. She strained her neck with the hope that it might loosen the cloth's unyielding grasp but with each bump she began to forget about the black and green stripped blindfold "Where are we going?" begged Angela. "We have at least been driving for 3 hours and as being the one who is temporarily blind I demand some freedom for me eyes."

Jordon only laughed and told Angela that their destination was only just around the bend but as they turned the sharp corner a huge blur cascaded upon their windshield and glass was now covering the blindfold that had transformed into her protection instead of her momentary handicap.

"Oh sh*t, oh my god, Angela are you okay?" cried Jordon. "Wh-what did we hit?" squeaked Angela and as she reached up to untie her bittersweet companion she felt it was bloody and when she removed her blindfold she saw that they hit a man. They quickly rushed to see is the man was badly hurt. "Oh my God!" Angela exclaimed. She was also surpised to see that the man they hit is her ex-boyfriend. "Travis are you okay?" Angela said while her trembling hands touched the face of the man they hit.

Leah stops Angela midway through her story. "Wait wait wait... what!? Are you serious?!" Leah exclaimed. "Of course not!" reassured Angela, "I was trying to shock you so you wouldn't think about the problems you're blowing out of proportion since we both know consoling you doesn't work. You know I love you Leah and will always be there for you whenever you need me." "Goodness gracious! I was starting to think you've gone crazy with that story of yours! So tell me what really happened with Jorden or Goerge or whatever the heck his name is haha," said Leah.

"We met at a party and flirted like all night. We went back to my place and had the best sex ever." "Are you going to see him again?" asked Leah. "I didn't get his number, or full name for that matter. Too bad, because I thought there was something there. He did however leave behind a briefcase with the initials "G.B.H." I then lifted up the briefcase and put it on the table. "Well then, his name is most likely George then.

Did he get your number?" "No," I said sadly. "This is really nice leather. I think it is italian." She tried to open it, but it was locked. "I know, it smells lovely. Should we break it open and try to find him? I so badly want to see him again. "

Leah carries around everything in her purse. Her husand, Josh, had recently given her a very expensive pocket knife. She took out a screwdriver and screwed out the screws holding the lock. The briefcase had been made for style, not security. They popped it open and inside was paper work and objects in plastic bags.

"Omg he's a lawyer!! It was Geordan B. Hoffler, the top prosecutor in the state!! He is doing that high profile case against Lindsay Lohan today."

Lindsay Lohan had recently been arrested, again, but this time for breaking into Philisophy cosmetics. It had stuned the media recently as to why. "Geordan?" I asked. "His parents are loaded and his father's name was Georgan, an his mother Jordan. His siblings are Georgianna, Skye, and Taylor. The own a hotel chain across Europe, but like it here in the US. Geordan wanted to do more than be an heir, and went to Yale."

When Leah was pregnant she spent time reading all about socialites.
"Well, we better get down to the courthouse then and get him his briefcase." As they stumbled through the crowd at Starbucks, all Leah could think about is how jealous she was of Angela's wealthy one night stand.

She looked at Angela from the corner of her eye. Angela stood 5'7" tall and her long, auburn hair cascaded in waves down to her shoulder blades. Her big, hazel eyes gave the illusion of two planet earths floating in her sockets. Leah knew she was plain in comparison to Angela, with her short, blond bob and grayish-blue eyes. Her skin was much more fair is color than Angela's too. I wish I was a passionate sultriest, maybe then my husband and I wouldn’t be fighting over these... "Papers!..", exclaimed Leah and Angela stopped in her tracks.
"What?!" , inquired Angela..."Papers?" "Oh nothing, I was just remembering some papers I had to sign for work, but they can wait," answered Leah. They can always wait, she thought. She had never wanted divorce. They hopped into Leah's car and hurried down to the courthouse but was unable to get through due to the enormous amount of paparazzi filling up the streets.

"What are we going to do?," asked Angela. "There's no way we'd find Geordan in this chaos." Angela who had insisted that she drive, took a sharp u-turn and headed back towards the coffee shop. "Where are we going?" asked Leah. "I thought we were going to find Geordan no matter what?" "Oh shhh, we are going, trust me alright," bellowed Angela as she swerved through the Lindsay Lohan fans and haters.

The streets were full of old brick buildings that were now being obstructed by thousands of human bodies. Leah could not understand why this young star got so much attention but then again Leah wished she could walk down the same street and be loved and even hated by thousands.

She loved and hated her husband but she remembers it as if it were yesterday - the long dark strand of hair that she pulled out of his sweater as she does his laundry. She thinks she is being silly; that he works with women everyday. She beings to fold his gray, Calvin and Klein slacks, the same ones he wore when he went to his knees in their engagement. And as if in slow motion, the pink note slips out of the back pocket it says three simple words:

"Josh, I want a divorce." She said when they sat down for dinner four nights ago. They were having green beans and chicken. Josh just stared at her in shock, his mouth hanging open wide, and his fork midway to his mouth full of greenbeans. "..But why? We have been so happy! What about Caleb? Don't you love me? Don't you love him."
"I love you with all my heart," she said and got up from the table and threw the plate into the sink. It shattered in the sink. She grabbed her car keys and had been staying at her mother's house since. She hadn't been making a call to Caleb's doctor, but to her sister and divorce laywer, Rachel.

Rachel had tried to tell her she is jumping to conclusions. She knew her sister's marriage wasn't like the ones she always deals with. Leah wouldn't listen though. She couldn't imagine any other reason as to why there would be a note from a mysterious "A". "A" for Amber, "A" for Amanda, "A" for Ashley she thought..."A" for Angela?? "No, it can't be my Angela" she thought.

You would of never thought Angela to be a morale woman by any means. She was always bed hopping, and was quite the lush in college. But, Angela would of never have commited adultery. Not with her Josh right?

"You slut," said Leah outloud to Angela without thinking. Angela thought she was kidding. "Oh come on, you have always known I like my one night stands." "I found the note you left Josh." "The one about the necklace?"
"Pardon?"
"I picked up a custom made locket for him, that's for you. It has a picture of Caleb on one side, and the other of him. It is 18 k white gold. OMG! You think I slept with him!? Leah! Never!!!"

They now needed to rush to the court for Lindsay Lohan's trial, and to stop Rachel from writing up anymore paperwork. Outside a Lindsay Lohan fan was holding a sign that read "Save L-Lo." "Oh brother," said Angela. They had to walk 27 blocks to get to the court house through all the media.

"How are we going to get through?" asked Angela. There were twenty sherrif deputies controling the crowd. Leah went up to one and said, "I am meeting my lawyer Rachel Henry today here to look at some legal work." "Why aren't you meeting at her firm?" asked the deputy.
"She was having a hearing today for another case, and needed to see me asap. I wanted the paper work done right away." Leah showed him the divorce papers, and he recognized Rachel Henry's name. He let Leah and Angela up to the steps, through the doors.

There in the lobby was Rachel, Geordan, two other lawyers, and Josh.
"Angela!!" yelled Geordan!! He ran over to her. "I was so upset you didn't call me! I wanted to see you again, and also I left my very important briefcase at your apartment."
"You didn't leave your number," said Angela.
"Yes I did, on the dry errase board in the kitchen."
Angela hadn't gone to the kitchen this morning. She has her breakfast at Starbucks every morning.
Leah turned to Josh, "I was all wrong about the note, I'm sorry! Angela told me about the necklace." "Well there goes your surprise," said Josh.
"It is ok, you're always giving me gifts, all I need is you and Caleb. They hugged each other in an embrace and he kissed her gently. Everyone around them made an "aww noise." "Well," said Geordan, "Angela you can go sit in the back of the court if you wish. We have an important trial today."

Angela went and took a seat in the courtroom. A half hour later the trial began. Every seat in the courtroom was filled and the noisy whispers made the courtroom seem like packed stadium. Angela handed Geordan his Italian leather briefcase and he kissed her softly on her cheek. She blushed and took a seat next to Rachael, Angela and Josh.
Geordan walked to the front of the courtroom with a hop in his step since he now had Angela and his briefcase back. Angela could not help but think how nice his ass really looked in his Gucci made suit and began imagining herself in a nice, silk designer wedding dress.
"Whoa..", she sighed out loud and Leah raised her left eyebrow is curiosity. Leah gave a sweet smile and then looked away. They had been friends for too long for Leah to not understand what Angela had been thinking but why did Leah even think she would have slept with Josh?

Leah was a beautiful women with Marylin Monroe hair cut that made her look like a porcelain doll. Her fair skin always showed her soft pink cheeks and her hair fell perfectly into front of her marble eyes.
Then Angela had an idea, maybe a necklace wasn't what Leah really needed... "I got it!" exclaimed Angela. Her sudden outburst halted the court's proceedings. She blushed and quickly hid her face behind her Birkin. Leah turned to her friend and asked, "What was that about?"
"oh nothing," answered Angela gleefully.

I hope LaBelle Spa Retreat has an opening this up coming weekend, thought Angela. Leah totally deserves to be pampered after going through postpartum depression. Since the birth of her baby girl Grace, she has been down. And with Caleb going off to pre-school, and thinking Josh was cheating. It was to much for her. Poor Leah.
As trail went on Leah grew bored with this L- Lo non-sense.....
She leaned into Angela and "Hey, Lets blow this joint!" "Seriously?" replied Angela, somewhat taken aback at the thought of having to miss watching her new man in action in the courtroom. "Where to?" Angela jerked her head around and squealed. Again, the whole courtroom turned around to see who was interrupting the proceedings.

"I have an idea... just follow me, it'll be a surprise!" And with that, she led Angela as quietly as possible out of the courtroom. Strangely enough, neither women looked back to see their men being left behind. They walked the 27 blocks back to the car. I feel really bad about accusing you with Josh," said Leah. "Well, I have always been a bit wild, but I'd never do that." "I know." "And you're right. I'm 34. I need to settle down a tad." "O really?" said Lead raising an eyebrow. "Well, as in settle down I mean dating one guy for awhile, and seeing where it takes me. I wont cast out marriage, as long as my husband is a sex machine, and can satisfy my many tastes." "And is Geordan that man?"
"Haha, maybe." "So, how are we going to get you with Geordan, and me to beg for forgiveness from Josh?" "What if I take Grace and Caleb this weekend, and you go to this great spa with Josh? They have couple massages, mudbaths, and a huge jacuzzi in your room. Courtesy of moi."
"That sounds nice."
"Now that I'm being such a saint, are you going to help me with Geordan?" "Of course! Well, you obviously already have him hooked. Perhaps you should be waiting there to celebrate with him after the trial, or comfort his loss?" "Haha, well Lohan is totally guilty."

The ladies then went to Anthropolgie to get come cute outfits, and then to Agent Provocateur for something more sexy underneath. While trying on sexy lingerie Angela knew this was the time to boost Leah's spirits. She grabbed a nearby chemise she had been eying and told Leah to put it on. Leah stepped out of the changing room with her short, blond curls softly outlining her face her cheeks stained with an embarrassed blush. "Wow.." is all Angela could say while Leah soft smile turned into a frown. "You picked out a nice one," regarded Leah as she touched the pink chemise lined with silk white roses and pink lace.
"Pink was always my color," sighed Leah. "What's WRONG with you," cried Angela. "You are a bombshell that just need a little self-confidence boost and I still have no idea what is stopping you from wanting to make wild love to the lady you are looking at in the mirror, YOU!"

Leah laughed and Angela purr like a cat as Leah twirled in her new chemise. "Black Card to the rescue!" giggled Angela.

Giggle Links

GiggleSugar — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:02:41 -0800

They aren't kidding when they call models "sexy beasts." Rrr-oew! -FabSugar
Subway Romeo tracks down girl of dreams through website. -NY Post
Nine children's characters who should come out of the closet. - Cracked
Let this soulja girl show you how to drop it like it's hot. - College Humor
Sophisti-cat says "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." - Stuff on my Cat
Spam subject lines turned into art! - Flickr
Ain't no party like a graveyard party! - 13gb
Have you fallen victim to the "Kraft Single" yet? (I asked you first!)- Best Week Ever

GiggleSugar Reader Spotlight: Maggie Mae

GiggleSugar — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 15:00:00 -0700

Don't let the skull and crossbones avatar fool you, Maggie Mae isn't that tough. This top-talker is a relatively recent GiggleSugar reader, but she's making up for lost time. Without further ado, Maggie Mae in her own words! (Don't forget to check out images in the gallery after the interview!)

GS: What's your motto?
MM: Don't drink the Kool-Aid. It's good because "Kool-Aid" can mean so many things. It's appropriate more times than you would think!

GS: Where are you from?
MM: Originally I am from a small town in Texas, but I moved to the DC area to go to college. I stayed for grad school, where I met my hubby. He's from DC, so we decided to stay.

GS: What do you do?
MM: I am an attorney at a pharmaceutical consulting firm. I manage, write and review all the contracts we do with big pharmaceutical companies. Gee...it sounds very serious when I write it down like that! I love my job, it can actually be a lot of fun. Have I mentioned I have an international paper clip collection?

GS: How would you describe your sense of humor?
MM: It can be dark and twisty, but I also see a lot of humor in the every day stuff that happens around me. I can really relate to Will Ferrell's comedy--especially after reading an article about his writing process. He says he writes most of his comedy based on the "unearned confidence man"--the guy who's really cool and cocky with no business being that way. I guess I see a lot of that in DC, so I really appreciate the humor in it.

GS: What's your favorite GiggleSugar post of all time?
MM: The Japanese clip with the swan suit guy at the party. (GS: Be sure to check out the pic of that swan toy attached to me!)I love the Japanese, they seem like they have such a sense of humor.

GS: Your least?
MM: When someone b*tches at Giggle. Come on people, lighten up! That's why you are reading a comedy page! It's a horse, and it dances. Seriously.

GS: Who's the cutest funny man and woman?
MM: Cutest funny man: it's a tie between Luke and Owen Wilson. They're brothers, don't make me choose. It could break one of their hearts. Cutest funny lady: Tina Fey. I love her. She brought back the sexy/funny geek in all of us.

GS: Favorite male and female comedian?
MM:Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon.

GS: What's your favorite comedy of all time?
MM: Hands down the Blues Brothers. Dan Aykroyd and Jon Belushi? Awesome. Dancing and singing with Aretha Franklin and Ray Charles? Awesome. Carrie Fisher toting a missile launcher trying to get back at her ex who left her at the altar? Hilarious.

GS: If your life were a comedy, what would it be?
MM: Probably a "noir" or darker version Seinfeld, based in DC. No laugh track.

GS: Do you ever get told you look like someone?
When I was about 11 a boy told me I looked like Chelsea Clinton (!) But since then I mostly get Kate Winslet. Although, I did run the "who do you look like" program online where you upload your picture and I got Queen Rania. Innnteresting.

Maggie Mae's Free For All: If you need a laugh, catsthatlooklikehitler will do it every time. (GS: When you're done with GiggleSugar, of course!) And I don't want any hate messages now for posting that, OK? I'm not endorsing Hitler, just cats that look like Hitler. Or "Kitlers" as we call them.

GS: When are other GiggleSugar readers free to chat with you?
MM: Whenever! Hit me up.

GS: Thanks, Maggie Mae!

View 10 Photos ›

(MM and makeup, camping, marriage, dancing, cat nap, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Tina Fey, Will Ferrell, Molly Shannon.)

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Should I ask to be friends again?

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 20:23:08 -0800

Ok, this is a long one. I had been friends with this girl who we'll call Jessie from 6th grade to the beginning of this year (currently in grade eleven). We hung out all the time and even went on vacation together. in the fall we had gone 6 weeks without hanging out and I was happy, because she got on my nerves ALOT. Over the course of these 6 weeks she became friends again with this girl who's a total stoner. She goes home after school and smokes pot every day. Well Jessie learned a thing or two from this girl and started taking up pot, and getting drunk. But she was getting drunk since the summer. I would constantly tell her in a passive/assertive way that smoking was bad. She has also been smoking cigarettes since april, so it well be almost a year. What bothered me SO much about it is that her mom had lung cancer, and was very close to death. Fortunately she beat it and survived and shes very healthy now. I told Jessie so many times that I was sick of her smoking and drinking and I even told her to look at the situation. But I always told her in a calm matter. One day on the school bus (we ride the same bus and live right down the street from each other) this guy asked if Jessie and i were still friends. It was around the 6th week taht we didn't hang out. I was explaining to him the sitiuation that we had sort of drifted apart and not hung out lately, and that she had taken up being friends with this other girl and falling into a bad situation. Then this Blabbermouht Amanda who I hate says to Jessie "OMG NICOLE IS TALKING SH*T ON YOU!", and I really was talking about her, but I wasn't talking sh!t. Anyway Jessie starts getting this attitude saying "I don't give a sh!t, i hate her". When i got off the bus i called jessie's house and left her 2 messages. They were really kind of rude, in a nutshell, I told her that I wasn't talking sh!t and that if she chose to believe amanda I wouldn't have cared. I also flipped out on her, yelling and screaming at her for smoking and doing drugs and drinking alcohol, because it scares me. I called her a dumbass, and swore every other word of that phone message because really anyone who smokes ciggs when their parent or ANYONE for that matter had lung cancer, you'd figure that they'd never touch the stuff. Anyway, after that day of the messages we stopped takling and that incident happend on halloween so it's been a good 3 months or so. Anyways I found out that she was caught out past curfew and she was drunk but the cops didn't notice it. I really miss the old her, the one who was always funny and sweet and she was a fashionista and boy crazy and all around a fun person. But ever since she started doing all that bad sh1t she's turned into a slut and hooked up with lots of guys, only making out from what i have heard, and getting herself into trouble. I love her parents they are so funny and they are so cool and I miss them. Lots of my current friends have also gotten into drinking while driving! and i just don't think it's right to drink so young. I'll drink at college but thats a whole different story. I hate seeing my friends drink, but If i say something i'll look like a loser or a scardey cat ,and un cool. But anyways, I've been thinking about writng Jessie a letter explaining why i flipped out and that it was just about worry and stuff. It really bums me out to see her smoking and I honestly think that she will get lung cancer too. One more thing the week after we stopped being friends she started talking all this crap on me. What I'm asking is do you think that I should write her a letter and try to become friends with her again, or should I jsut forget about it? I feel like I have no friends anymore. :'(