TresSugar

Barack Obama Gets One 527 to MoveOn

LibertySugar — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 11:00:48 -0700

Perhaps bolstering his argument that he wants a purely people-funded campaign, Barack Obama has succeeded in getting progressive group MoveOn to abandon its 527 arm. It will still raise money as a PAC, however, with more restrictions.

In 2004, MoveOn's 527 group spent $20 million. A spokesperson for the group told Talking Points Memo: "This is an affirmation that we, like Senator Obama, believe that this election can be won by ordinary Americans giving small donations."

That will be MoveOn's challenge, as it will no longer be able to raise large amounts from labor unions and max-ed-out individuals whose donations exceed $5,000 limit.

This seems like a smart move. Since Obama has proven successful with small donors, the moral pressure is now on McCain to reject 527s. If McCain cannot persuade his 527 supporters, Obama will still come out looking like he's in control of his more positive movement.

But do you think people will still be upset by Obama's abandonment of the public financing system, a decision that some say proves Obama is just like very other politician?

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John Cusack Gets His Move On in New McCain-Is-Bush Ad

LibertySugar — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 00:00:30 -0700

Actor John Cusack has filmed a fast and furious political TV ad, challenging viewers to explain how John McCain is any different than President George W. Bush. He brings up issues like the GI Bill, ties to war profiteers, and children's health care. Check it out below.

Move On wants supporters to help raise $70,000 to put the ad in front of swing voters. Do you think John's message can influence swing voters?

With President Bush's approval ratings at an all time low, will voters be able to form an opinion of Republican John McCain? I wonder why McCain doesn't do more to separate himself from Bush on the issues.

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You Asked: To Move or Not to Move?

DearSugar — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 06:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I am moving half way across the country to move in with my boyfriend. I am totally in love with him and we have discussed getting married. Here is the problem - his ex-girlfriend spends the night at his house and sleeps in his bed. I just found this out and apparently this happens on occasion and she just spent the night there night before last!

He has a guest room and she only lives 15 minutes away! Why does she need to sleep in his bed? I told him I didn't like it and that it is really disrespectful to me. He assures me the relationship is totally platonic and that they are just friends. He doesn't understand why I don't trust him. I don't think they are having sex but I still don't like the idea of her sleeping next to him in the bed I picked out! I was certain that moving and uprooting my life was worth it to be with this guy, but now I couldn't be more confused. Do I move but just get my own place? Do I move in with him? Do I end the relationship? Help! - At a Loss Leslie

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear At a Loss Leslie,

Hmm, I must say I am at a loss here as well. There is absolutely no excuse for your boyfriend to be sleeping in the same bed as his girlfriend, "platonic" or not. How did you find out this information? If he told you, at least he is being honest with you, but I am still left wondering why they are hanging out in the first place. There is a reason why they are ex-boyfriend and girlfriend, and we all know that it's a constant debate whether or not men and women can be friends, so something's gotta be up.

If your boyfriend doesn't understand why you don't trust him, ask him how he would feel if he found your ex was sleeping in your bed - I have a feeling he wouldn't be a happy camper. I am not sure if you have already quit your job and gotten rid of your apartment, but if I were you, I would delay this move until you get these issues resolved. Find out if continuing a relationship with you is what he really wants. You say you have talked about marriage, but make sure you are not moving with any false expectations. Uprooting your life is a huge step so it's imperative to make sure you are 100 percent on the same page and that his ex is completely out of the picture. If your boyfriend can prove to you that he's ready to commit and can be trusted, then, and only then would I say go for it. Trust your gut Leslie, if you're writing me asking what to do, I have a feeling you know what the answer is here. Good luck.

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You Asked: To Move or Not to Move?

DearSugar — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 06:01:03 -0800

Dear Sugar -

I have a huge decision to make. I can make all my dreams come true and move to Hawaii in February, or I can stay in my comfort zone and always wonder "what if?" I have a couple of friends there who are willing to let me stay with them until I get my feet on the ground, but I'm scared to death to move! I have a very stable, well-paying job in New York City and I have all my friends and family here, which includes my seven brothers and sisters. So should I risk everything to take a chance and move? I have this sinking feeling that I'm just going to move back to NYC anyways. Help! - Luau Laurie

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Luau Laurie -

You say it would be a dream come true to move, so I say go for it! Of course, picking up your life and moving it to a new place is scary, but I agree with you - there's nothing worse than always asking yourself "what if" if you decide not to go. It sounds like you have friends in Hawaii, so you wouldn't be lonely, and Laurie, what could be better than living in paradise?! If I were you, I'd write out a pros and cons list, weigh your options, and go for it!

The thing about moving away from all of your friends and family is that they're all going to be there when you come back. NYC isn't going anywhere either. If you have a sneaking suspicion that you're just going to come back, give it a shot for a few months and enjoy it for what's it worth. Of course, leaving a well paying job is harder to swallow, so see if you can take a leave of absence until you're certain about Hawaii. You might also try to sublet your apartment and just pack the necessities.

Getting out of your comfort zone can be terrifying, but at the end of the day, that's what makes you grow as a person. If you decide to take the plunge and you feel like you made a mistake, you can always come back home and at least know that you tried. Good luck!

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Do Tell: Why Would You Move in With a Significant Other?

TresSugar — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:00:00 -0700

A group of researchers spent years studying couples to come to this scientific conclusion: most unmarried couples move in together because they want to spend more time together.

Only 9 percent of men and 5 percent of women said they moved in together because they wanted to "test out the relationship before getting married."

Couples I know have moved in for a whole range of reasons, including something as serious as an engagement or something as practical as wanting to save money on rent. What would motivate you to move in with your partner?

You Asked: Should I Ask Him to Move With Me?

DearSugar — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. Things are going great, and we are both very happy in our relationship. I am in the process of applying for graduate school and, with the exception of one school that isn't exactly my first choice, they're all out of state. He isn't as career-oriented as I am, and he works in a field where he could probably find work anywhere. I feel ready to move in with him, but I'm not sure about asking him to quit his job and leave home as he knows it for me. What if we decided after living with each other for a few months that we aren't right for one another? I feel as if he would probably join me if I asked him; I feel like he's hinted at it, though he has not outright asked what our future entails. I know that long-distance relationships rarely work, and I don't want to break up with him, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for the level of commitment that asking him to uproot his entire life would entail. Help! - Unsure Sandra

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Unsure Sandra,

You've been together two years now, so I advise you to just be honest with him. Since you are the one applying to schools that will require you to relocate, chances are he's waiting for you to make the move. Since he's hinted at the idea of going with you, I'm sure he just wants to make sure you're ready. Yes, moving in together is a huge step in a relationship, and while taking that commitment to the next level is scary, it could be well worth the risk.

If he decides to move and things don't work out, at least you'll know sooner rather than later so you can go your separate ways and move on with your lives. There are no guarantees in life, Sandra, so if you don't want this relationship to end, I say go out on a limb and take a chance. Good luck!

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Group Therapy: Should I Move to a Different Country For Him?

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 11:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend and I are in our 20s (I'm 23 and he's 25) and have been dating for four years. Although we have had our ups and downs, I am still crazy about him! He recently got a great promotion at work, but it comes with a big consequence: he has to move to London for six months to a year! Prior to his promotion, we were planning on moving in together, and I was ecstatic about taking the next step in our relationship. His promotion came as a shock to me, and I am now faced with the difficult decision of whether or not to move with him.

On one hand, I would love to live abroad! Plus, I hate long distance relationships and want to be able to see my boyfriend every day. However, I am hesitant to move to a different country without being engaged. While I have no problem living with someone prior to marriage, moving to a different country without a ring is scary! When I bring up engagement to my boyfriend, he says he wants to marry me but he wants to wait two to three years to get engaged.

While I understand his concerns (we are very young), I am also frustrated with the situation. If we both know we want to get married, why not get engaged now considering the situation (especially since it would make it easier for me to obtain a visa, medical rights, etc.)? After four years of dating, I do not see what the big deal is. So, what is your advice ladies? Should I move to Europe without a ring? Or stay in the US and try to make a very long distance relationship work?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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You Asked: I Feel Guilty For Moving On

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I recently got out of an eight-year relationship with someone who was my best friend. At the end he cheated on me numerous times and we both felt that we needed a break before either of us could work on our relationship. When we were separating, I instated a policy that neither of us would date other people for the first six months, but he wanted to be more "free."

After the split I went to therapy as I was heartbroken by his actions. During this time, I met a really great guy who I've since fallen in love with. The problem is that my ex has confessed that he still loves me. He told me that this break has given him time to grow. He's owned up to how badly he treated me and he wants a second chance. I know I don't want to get back together with him; however, I feel incredibly guilty that I have moved on while he has not. What should I do? How should I tell him that it's over, forever? - Starting a New Life Laurie

To see DearSugar's answer read more.

Dear Starting a New Life Laurie,

I understand that you feel badly because you broke the policy you instated, but you can't put your life on hold because your ex - who cheated on you - feels ready to make amends. Since he was the one who wanted to be more "free," how were you supposed to know that he wouldn't meet someone before you?

If you truly feel that your relationship with your ex has run its course, you should be honest with him so that he can close this chapter in his life and move on. Your guilt will subside, but in the meantime, enjoy the new man in your life - the beginning is the best part!

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Greg Behrendt on Women Making the First Move

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 12:00:00 -0800

The jury is still out as to whether or not women should make the first move - some women love the power while others take the old-fashioned approach and wait for the men to come to them - but at the end of the day, it's really all about personal preference. After hearing some of Greg Behrendt's advice on dating, I'm sure you can assume that he'd have something to say on this topic too! To see how he feels on women asking men out, just read more.

Do you think it’s okay for women to make the first move?

Yes, I just think that the thing women need to keep in mind is most men, or at least the men that I know, were raised to ask people out so if a guy isn’t asking you out, it’s not like he doesn’t know he’s supposed to. On the other hand, yeah, I think it’s your life you do what you want. It won’t bother me what you do. As long as you’re happy, I don’t care how you get there.

To see more from my interview with Greg Behrendt, just click here.

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You Asked: Was Moving In a Bad Idea?

DearSugar — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I'm 25 years old and currently living with my boyfriend of four months. He recently moved to Ohio from California, which is why we co-habitated so quickly. Things are great, we are very happy and I believe he is the one. This is my first time living with a boyfriend, so I have a lot of questions. First off, is it normal for us to not have sex as often as we did before I moved in? I also seem to be getting uptight about the smallest things. I often find myself doubting our relationship if he forgets to kiss me before he leaves the house or if he doesn't seem excited to see me when he gets home.
My friends have been telling me it's because we now live together and that drastically changes a relationship but I just need some help and advice on how to ease into this change. How do I stay sane and in love all while living together and adjusting? - Acclimating Annie

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Acclimating Annie,

You said it right, you're still adjusting to living together so before you get too carried away, I think you should take a step back and look at things realistically. Yes, there's an acclimation period you should take into account, but if you're feeling more distant from him than you were when you were living apart, it's time to have a heart to heart with your boyfriend. Since he knows you'll be home when he gets there, I bet he doesn't realize how you feel when he forgets to kiss you goodbye - so tell him! If you're nit picking about the small stuff, talk about your frustrations out-loud so he knows what he needs to do differently. I also suggest setting some house rules around chores, having people over, coming home late, cooking, paying the bills, etc. It's important to have set expectations so feelings don't get hurt.

As for the lack of sex in your relationship - I can't say if that's due to the move in, but if you feel something's missing, make sure intimacy is a top priority for both of you. Create more romance or set dates if you have to. Since you now have a roommate who is also your lover, it's more important than ever to keep the lines of communication open - it's what will make this living situation and relationship flourish.

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