TresSugar

Where Do You Stand? Shredding Your Ex's Belongings

DearSugar — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 10:00:00 -0800

In the wake of the Chris Brown and Rihanna nightmare, fans are coming to her aid, especially radio station WBLI in New York City. In conjunction with Valentine's Day, BLI studios is inviting Rihanna fans, along with others who are unlucky in love, to a "Shred Your Ex" party! Your ticket in is not only your broken heart, but whatever memorabilia you can muster up from ex-lovers that has the ability to be destroyed!

It's a great way to get rid of all those nagging memories of your past, but where do you stand when it comes to getting rid of it all? Are there certain possessions that you'll always hold onto despite a failed relationship, or are you all for erasing the past so you can start a fresh future?

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Have You Ever Had a Valentine's Day Go Awry?

DearSugar — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 15:00:00 -0800

There's a lot of pressure that surrounds Valentine's Day, and for those that crack under such pressure, it could make for a tricky holiday. Often times when you put so much emphasis on making one specific day perfect, things can easily go haywire. I've heard your favorite Valentine's Day memories, but tell me, have you ever had a Valentine's Day go awry? If so, misery loves company so tell us about it in the comments below!

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What's Your Favorite Valentine's Day Memory?

DearSugar — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 07:30:00 -0800

Most people have a love/hate relationship with Valentine's Day, and no matter what your relationship status is, it's hard to escape the pressure that surrounds this holiday. With that said, I know a lot of people that go all out to make Valentine's Day a day to remember. So whether you're a fan of the holiday or not, tell us, what is your favorite Valentine's Day memory?

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What Is Your Fondest Memory of Your Childhood Home?

DearSugar — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 11:00:00 -0800

On last night's episode of The Hills, Lauren had to pack up her room at her parents' house in preparation for their move. She and Lo took a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about first kisses, homecoming, and taking steps toward adulthood. My parents still live in the same house I grew up in, so I don't know what it would feel like to have to say goodbye to all those memories. But looking back at your childhood home, what was your favorite memory there?

To get all the fashion from last night's episode, check out our new site, CelebStyle.

Photo courtesy of MTV

Do Tell: How Did You Meet Your Best Friend?

DearSugar — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700

There's nothing like a best friend! The importance of having someone you can turn to and trust without a moment of hesitancy is infinitely important in this hectic world. But the friendship that you have with a best friend is more than just the day-to-day stuff, it’s also about the memories you create with one another along the way. So let’s take a trip down memory lane and share the story of how you met your best friend!

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You Asked: Do I Want My Ex Back?

DearSugar — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I dated someone for almost three years until he started to feel less for me. We thought we solved it, but a week later we broke up. We continued to hook up afterwards, but it didn't take long for him to date someone else. Eventually I did too, and I love my boyfriend more than anything, however I still think about my ex sometimes. We talk and see each other every once in a while. I've held onto all of his emails, cards, and gifts and whenever I go through them, I get very emotional and think I want him back. Does this mean I still want to be with him or is he just my first love that I won't ever forget about?

- Past Pleasures Paige

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Past Pleasures Paige,

I don't think it's at all weird to harbor fond memories of past relationships or a specific ex, and there's nothing wrong with caring for an ex and being in love with your boyfriend, but if the longing for something else is affecting your current relationship then perhaps it's time to put the past to rest. Stop lingering through all the remnants of your old relationship and avoid hanging out with him for a while. Try to refocus your energy on the present and making new memories.

If after all this you still find yourself wanting your ex more than your boyfriend, perhaps it's time for serious reflection away from both men. Realize that in the end, it's not so much a matter of whether or not you want your ex back, but rather if you truly want to be in your current relationship. Only you can decide what's right for you, so listen to your instincts above all else.

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Dear Poll: Do You Look Back on High School With Fond Memories or Frustration?

DearSugar — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Now that Labor Day weekend is over, the back-to-school wave is underway. And even if you’re not headed back to academia, you can’t miss the change in the air as lifestyles shift from Summer to Fall. For some, this time can bring on a wave of nostalgia, while others shudder at the thought of walking back into a classroom.

For obvious reasons, high school seems to be the most polarizing of school years, with experiences ranging from gleeful to painfully awkward so where do your feelings about high school fall?

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Do Tell: What Activities Make You Feel Like a Kid Again?

DearSugar — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Last weekend I had the pleasure of enjoying a quintessential Summer activity: swimming in a lake. I’m not going to lie; at first I was only brave enough to dip my big toe in, but after hanging out in the sun for a while, I finally took the plunge - and it was fun! The best part about being in the water was that it reminded me of how much I loved to swim as a kid, not for the health benefits, but just because of the sheer joy of being in water. Whether it’s slurping down a popsicle or playing boardgames with your family, do tell: What activities bring out the kid in you?

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Do Tell: What Did Summer Camp Mean to You?

DearSugar — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Depending on who you ask, Summer camp is either a wonderful, life-changing part of childhood or a horrifying, embarrassing experience to be avoided entirely. For many kids, attending sleep-away camp was a first taste of independence. You're tossed into an unfamiliar place and forced to make new friends while sampling all sorts of exotic activities - from horseback riding and campfires to dancing with boys and having your underwear run up a flagpole. If you grew up in the city, it may have been your first up close and personal encounter with the outdoors; if you were raised in a rural area, maybe it was the first time you met a kid from the big city.

Did you go to Summer camp as a kid? If so, do you have fond memories, or was it a horrible experience you never want to endure again? Did it help shape the person you are today? And if you didn't go away to camp, how did you feel about kids who did?

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You Asked: How Do I Get My Husband to Express His Emotions?

DearSugar — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I have been married for about a year and a half. When we first started dating, my now husband got a kidney transplant as a result of an accident he had some five years before. He has told me the overall story - he fell from a tree and not only suffered kidney complications but also had trauma to his back for which he's had numerous surgeries, but yesterday after I asked more details about it, he got defensive and said he doesn't like talking about it.

I just don't know how to react to that. In general, he has a really hard time talking about things that I consider important, and I guess this is only the tip of the iceberg. I have opened up to him about my own issues and feel that if he is avoiding that subject, it will just keep hurting his confidence and self-esteem (he had to drop out of college temporarily afterwards). I want to support him and love him for who he is. Am I overreacting? How do I approach this again?

- Communicator Caila

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Communicator Caila,

While opening up and expressing your feelings may come easily to you, you have to realize that it's not so natural for your husband. As frustrating as it may be for the rest of us, some people are just not comfortable vocalizing emotions that may bring up feelings of sadness or, in your husband's case, pain. Though I tend to agree that avoiding these issues will only make things worse, you can't force him to talk about something that he doesn't want to.

What your husband went through and continues to go through is traumatic. Learning to live with physical pain, as I'm sure he deals with, can take a toll on a person and requires a certain level of understanding from those around them. Thus, instead of pressing the issue, make it clear that you're ready and willing to listen when he's able to talk about it.

It's perfectly reasonable to let him know that his inability to open up to you is hurting you and making you feel cut out of his life, but know that change overnight is unlikely. This is probably something you'll both have to work through over time and with each other. Start opening up the lines of communication about smaller issues that you encounter. As he learns to express himself and trust you as a listener, he might be more inclined to delve into some of these darker memories.

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