TresSugar

Product of the Day: "I Met My Daddy on Maury" Onesie

GiggleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 04:00:00 -0700

If you're new to GiggleSugar, you might not know that we heart Maury Povich. Aside from his regularly scaring the bejeezus out of people who have phobias, he lets careless mothers (usually of the teenage variety) know whether some dude they got horizontal with once is the baby daddy or not. Hence, these completely inappropriate onesies.

The Most Effed Up Maury Paternity Test Yet

GiggleSugar — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0800

The Godfather of Paternity Testing found the messiest love triangle, took some blood, and astonished the crowd with the mind-blowing results. Our momma slept with her boyfriend's brother and isn't sure who the father is. Given the genetics involved, the baby looks like both of the bros. It's a ghastly sitch to be in, but it gets much worse. . .

Sexy Beast of the Day: Maury "Who's Your Daddy?" Povich

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0800

In addition to those graying good looks and sexy turtle neck sweaters, Maury Povich is the MacDaddy of paternity testing. Is there anything more attractive than a man who has devoted his life to helping the hoards of not-so-sure parents out there? He may make a show of getting their facts straight, but it's the thought - and blood work! - that counts. This Valentine's Day, GiggleSugar is saluting you, Maury Povich, for being the Godfather of all (99.9% confirmed) Father Figures and for bringing out the "You are the Baby Daddy" boogie in people. It's a tough job and you do it almost too well, but that's why we heart you.

Angel's No Angel

GiggleSugar — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 10:00:00 -0800

You gotta give Maury Povich some points for consistency. If he's not terrifying the bejeezus out of his phobic guests or keeping desperate couples on pins and needles trying to figure out who the baby daddy is, he's showcasing ninth graders with sexual habits that would make a hooker blush. The question is, who's trashier - Maury or poor Angel?

On Maury: Chickenphobia!

GiggleSugar — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 13:00:00 -0800

Maury has officially cornered the market on publicly ~~torturing~~ ~~humiliating~~ "helping" people who live with crippling phobias. From cottonphobia, to picklephobia, to peachphobia, to balloonphobia, Maury's covered it. He's now found a woman who's chicken when it comes to chickens, so what unlicensed therapeutic move does Maury use to help? He chases her around the studio with live chickens, dead chickens, people dressed as chickens- whatever makes for good daytime television. Welcome to Old McMaury's funny farm...

Maury Povich: One Class Act

GiggleSugar — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 02:02:16 -0700

Maury's completely run out of show ideas, so he gathers up some chicks, transgendered folks, and drag queens and asks, "Are these hot spring bunnies or men dressed as honeys?" This episode of Maury seems desperate, provides no redeeming social value, and possibly causes brain damage in viewers. You know, business as usual chez Maury.

A Maury Moment in Nature

GiggleSugar — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 01:00:00 -0700

You saw it first on the "The Maury Show," now watch how it happens in nature. I'm referring to the phenomenon known as the "I'm Not The Baby Daddy" boogie. The paternity test results are in and this female emu is not a happy camper. Her mate, on the other hand, is trying hard to contain himself, but he just...can't.

Crockermania Continues On Maury!

GiggleSugar — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 11:00:00 -0700

I know I have to justify my continued coverage of Chris Crocker--so here's the rationale. Unlike Paris and Nicole, two people who have done virtually nothing to get fame, girlfriend here has been working his well-toned buns off to get media attention. Call him a ho, if you must, but it's the American way. Unless you live in the United States of Britney, as CC does...(BTW, CC is looking even more like Avril Lavigne here!)

On Maury: Woman Scared Of Balloons

GiggleSugar — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 11:00:00 -0700

When he's not making everyone take a paternity test, Maury's exploring the world of irrational phobias. From peachphobia to cottonphobia to picklephobia, he's been there, done that. And the following phobia will blow your mind: balloonphobia. This woman will suck the life out of any party. Just watch.

Now On Maury: Woman Afraid Of Cotton Balls

GiggleSugar — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 10:45:00 -0700

Every once in a blue moon we get a dispatch from the Land Of Weird, aka "The Maury Povich Show," purveyor of bizarre phobias like pickle phobia and peach phobia. Now another weirdo comes out of the woodwork to give us...Cotton Phobia. I love how as soon as she reveals she's had a recurring nightmare about a man made of cotton balls, Maury, naturally, brings one out. Please don't become a therapist, Maury.