TresSugar

Pickiness and the Single Woman

TresSugar — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 11:45:49 PDT

Another day, another survey finds single women are pickier than married women. Inevitably, the next breath blames a woman's single situation on her sky-high standards - an argument Lori Gottlieb turned into all-out brawl after writing Marry Him. But maybe it's married women we should be looking at?

Has anyone ever studied the same women before, during, and after marriage to see how standards change? People aren't supposed to date during marriage and nobody likes to predict its afterlife, so that's a hard study to fund. Marriage forces both genders to accept the other as the moody, sloppy, and smelly creatures they are. Eventually the expectations lower.

True it may take some acceptance to make it to the altar, but the rate of divorce shows that those who wed aren't necessarily more accepting. Take, for example, one-night stands after a breakup or divorce. Most women will fess up to lowering standards, partially because it's only one night, but also because they've spent lots of time sleeping with partners in less-than-desirable states.

And then there's age. People seem to become less vain as they get older, so maybe Lori Gottlieb's revelation that women need to love the one they're with was more of an age-appropriate reflection after turning 40 than a learned-the-hard-way lesson?

Is It Really OK to Settle?

OnSugar Blog — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 04:00:00 PST

Here's a post from OnSugar blog The Date Doctor.

So yesterday was D-day, the day Lori Gottlieb's book, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough was released. As a relationship therapist, coach, and dater myself - I am VERY interested in hearing others' thoughts about this. Are men (or women depending on your preference) really like old Kleenex that we readily toss away at the beginning of a flu, but then begin sorting back through the bunch for one that's not so used up? (Not that I have ever done anything like this.) Watch this video and let me know what you think.

Want to see more? Start following The Date Doctor or start your own OnSugar blog. Maybe your stories will be posted here on TrèsSugar!

"Marry Him" Article Could Become a Movie - But What Kind?

BuzzSugar — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:30:00 PDT

Have you read "Marry Him" yet?
If not, get reading! The controversial Atlantic Monthly cover story, subtitled "The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough," has just been optioned by Tobey Maguire's production company and could become a movie.

What's the gist?
In the story - which will also be expanded into a forthcoming book - author Lori Gottlieb writes that her experiences as a 40-year-old single woman (and single mother by choice) have led her to believe that rather than continue the seemingly endless search for Mr. Right, women should consider settling for the next decent guy who comes along. She writes:

Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go.

So, a movie, eh?
Yup, a movie - and I'm quite curious to see what Hollywood will do with this one. On the one hand, I could see it as an extremely conventional romantic comedy: Single woman resolves herself to marry the next OK-enough guy she meets, still has to go through a slew of schlubs, finally meets a good one, marries him - and ends up falling hopelessly in love after the fact, living happily ever after [insert eyeroll here]. It could also become a comedy in the Baby Mama mold, with the single mom searching for a guy who will just be a good father to her son - and, of course, discovering that they were always meant to be together. But the article is more complicated than that, and I'm curious to see if there's some kind of movie - heck, even a documentary - that would more accurately convey its points.

What do you think? Of all the possibilities, what do you think would be the best-case scenario for a movie version of "Marry Him"?

Source

Fat-Proof Your Life

Health — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 04:06:06 PST

We are pumped to share one of our favorite stories from Health.com here on our site.

By Maridel Reyes

It's true that there are certain times in your life when extra poundage seems to appear out of nowhere . . . and settle on you. In fact, experts have honed in on the exact moments when you're most vulnerable to weight gain.

"Life transitions, having a baby, and going through menopause cause many women to pile on pounds," says Susan Albers, PsyD, author of But I Deserve This Chocolate!: The 50 Most Common Diet-Derailing Excuses and How to Outwit Them. "But with planning and prep, you can stay thin."

We asked top experts for their strategies to help you ward off weight creep - and even shed pounds - at these tricky stages. Solutions ahead.

Getting married

Heavier ever after? It can be the flip side of wedded bliss: "Six out of 10 of my clients come back heavier after the honeymoon," says celebrity fitness and wellness guru David Kirsch.

Health.com: 25 Diet-Busting Foods You Should Never Eat

Young newlyweds pack on an extra six to nine pounds in the five years after getting hitched compared to singletons, according to research from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. And most of that gain happens in the first year of marriage.

"Couples start to mirror each other's eating habits," explains Albers. "You might be matching him calorie for calorie without realizing it."

Learn how to keep the pounds down postmarriage and in the mommy years, after the break.

The Couple Who Inspired The Vow

Annie Scudder — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:00:55 PST

Kim and Krickitt Carpenter sold the movie rights to their unforgettable love story back in 1996. But it took until this week for that film, The Vow, to come out. The Carpenters married in September 1993, and less than 10 weeks later, a car accident left them both injured and Krickitt in a coma. Once she woke up, she had no memory of her husband.

Besides the coma and memory loss, The Vow doesn't quite follow the story of Kim (played by Channing Tatum) and Krickitt (played by Rachel McAdams) to the exact details. The real-life couple had met serendipitously over the phone when Kim, a baseball coach living in New Mexico, had called the sport shop Krickitt was working at in Southern California. Hitting it off, they talked for hours on the phone each week, and soon Kim invited Krickitt to visit him in New Mexico. After a whirlwind romance they got married.

The accident soon ended their newlywed bliss, and the couple described life after Krickitt's amnesia in a 1996 People article. "I honestly didn't think our marriage would work," Kim admitted thinking when his wife seemed to be a completely different person, but he said he "made a vow before God" to stick it out. She remembered asking, "'How did I do the wife thing? Did I cook for you? Did I bring you lunch?'" And she told herself, "I figured, if I fell in love with this guy before, I guess I just need to meet him again."

The accident happened in 1993, and on Valentine's Day 1996, Kim proposed again to his wife Krickitt and she accepted. In 2000, they wrote a book about their experience, The Vow: The Kim and Krickitt Carpenter Story. Although she never regained memory of the 18 months she had forgotten after her coma, they stayed together and have two kids, whom they brought to this week's premiere of The Vow. See photos of the Carpenters and their movie star alter egos.

Geeky Proposals Caught on Film

Kelly Schwarze — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 05:05:05 PST

With Valentine's Day creeping around the corner, we're caught up in the season of love. If it's marriage we're talking, these days, to make a serious statement of your heart's intentions it's all about adding some geeky personality for an unforgettable proposal. We've seen dozens of these proposals memorialized on the web to send our hearts aflutter. The latest: the below video combines binary coding aptitude and Futurama fanaticism. Yes, that is a proposal spoken exclusively in binary.

Follow the break to watch our favorite geek-tinted proposals.

Buzz Lines: What's Your Favorite Quote From The Wedding Singer?

Lizzie Fuhr — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:05:00 PST

After a string of absurdly silly flicks like Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore, Adam Sandler showed us his softer side in The Wedding Singer. When Robbie's shallow girlfriend leaves him at the altar, the struggling wedding singer meets the bright-eyed and adorable Julia (Drew Barrymore) who is unfortunately engaged to a jerk. Throughout the movie, Robbie and Julia try to make sense of their newfound friendship, but fall in love and get married after Robbie makes the ultimate grand gesture on an airplane. This movie may be sweet, but it's also full of funny laugh-out-loud lines. Here are a few of my faves, but be sure to add yours in the comments below!

"Well I have a microphone, and you don't, so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!" - Robbie
"I have no clean tupperware. Hold out your hands!" - Rosie
"Oh, I don't think anybody could puke more than that kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him." - Robbie

"I Snooped On My Boyfriend's Facebook...Now What?"

Tres Community — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:05:59 PST

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I checked my boyfriend's Facebook while he was away and found that he has been regularly messaging his ex-girlfriend. I know he doesn't want to be with her - they've tried - it didn't work out and they ended it two years ago. He told me they stay in touch, but I didn't realize he meant they message each other at least once a week. The messages are normal (they live in different countries), "How are you. What are you up to this week? Miss you - hope all is well. This is what is going on with me. . . blah blah blah."

He hasn't done anything to cross the line indicating that they're more than just friends, but the thing is he LOVED this girl and wanted to marry her just three years ago. He tells me he could never be with her again due to his beliefs (he's agnostic and can't be with women that are religious).

Despite all of this, I'm hurt. I wish he didn't have this tight relationship with his ex, even though it is a respectful one.

I can't admit that I know this, or that it's been bothering me, because I snooped. What should I do? I'm seriously thinking about breaking up, because I feel if one is done with a relationship, they are done and there should be no need to connect all the time. If I do choose to break up with him though, what do I say my reason is? He has been nothing but sweet/nice to me.

Thank you for answering!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Link Time - Valentine's Day For One

TresSugar — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:14:00 PST

How to have a romantic Valentine's Day date alone - The Frisky
Looking for love? There's a new app for that! - YourTango
Reasons why Maria Menounos should NOT date Tim Tebow - CollegeCandy
Who said it: Dominique Strauss-Kahn or Gérard Depardieu? - The Daily Beast
Study finds online dating no better than meeting at a bar - Huffington Post
Why the backlash against Pinterest is gender specific - GOOD
Hot men hang out at the Oscar nominee luncheon - theBERRY
11 simple steps to the perfect kiss - Glamour
"I dreamed my boyfriend made me watch him marry his ex" - Em & Lo
Watch: This Means War's Reese, Chris, & Tom talk romantic risks - BuzzSugar

Take This Waltz Trailer: Michelle Williams Is Torn Between Two Lovers

Becky Kirsch — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 08:54:49 PST

The trailer for Take This Waltz has "precious indie movie" written all over it, right down to the fact that the preview gives us little in the way of plot. Instead, we glean what we can from watching Michelle Williams lead a comfortable married life with Seth Rogen, until she's enticed by a handsome new guy (played by Luke Kirby).

Though I wish this preview had more dialogue, I'm already looking forward to seeing Seth Rogen step outside his comfort zone with some deeper material than what he's usually given, and I can't wait to see him and Williams as an onscreen couple. The film marks the sophomore directing effort from Sarah Polley (who also directed Away From Her). Check out the trailer when you

read more. Photo courtesy of Magnolia Pictures