TresSugar

Pickiness and the Single Woman

TresSugar — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 11:45:49 PDT

Another day, another survey finds single women are pickier than married women. Inevitably, the next breath blames a woman's single situation on her sky-high standards - an argument Lori Gottlieb turned into all-out brawl after writing Marry Him. But maybe it's married women we should be looking at?

Has anyone ever studied the same women before, during, and after marriage to see how standards change? People aren't supposed to date during marriage and nobody likes to predict its afterlife, so that's a hard study to fund. Marriage forces both genders to accept the other as the moody, sloppy, and smelly creatures they are. Eventually the expectations lower.

True it may take some acceptance to make it to the altar, but the rate of divorce shows that those who wed aren't necessarily more accepting. Take, for example, one-night stands after a breakup or divorce. Most women will fess up to lowering standards, partially because it's only one night, but also because they've spent lots of time sleeping with partners in less-than-desirable states.

And then there's age. People seem to become less vain as they get older, so maybe Lori Gottlieb's revelation that women need to love the one they're with was more of an age-appropriate reflection after turning 40 than a learned-the-hard-way lesson?

Is It Really OK to Settle?

OnSugar Blog — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 04:00:00 PST

Here's a post from OnSugar blog The Date Doctor.

So yesterday was D-day, the day Lori Gottlieb's book, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough was released. As a relationship therapist, coach, and dater myself - I am VERY interested in hearing others' thoughts about this. Are men (or women depending on your preference) really like old Kleenex that we readily toss away at the beginning of a flu, but then begin sorting back through the bunch for one that's not so used up? (Not that I have ever done anything like this.) Watch this video and let me know what you think.

Want to see more? Start following The Date Doctor or start your own OnSugar blog. Maybe your stories will be posted here on TrèsSugar!

"Marry Him" Article Could Become a Movie - But What Kind?

BuzzSugar — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:30:00 PDT

Have you read "Marry Him" yet?
If not, get reading! The controversial Atlantic Monthly cover story, subtitled "The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough," has just been optioned by Tobey Maguire's production company and could become a movie.

What's the gist?
In the story - which will also be expanded into a forthcoming book - author Lori Gottlieb writes that her experiences as a 40-year-old single woman (and single mother by choice) have led her to believe that rather than continue the seemingly endless search for Mr. Right, women should consider settling for the next decent guy who comes along. She writes:

Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go.

So, a movie, eh?
Yup, a movie - and I'm quite curious to see what Hollywood will do with this one. On the one hand, I could see it as an extremely conventional romantic comedy: Single woman resolves herself to marry the next OK-enough guy she meets, still has to go through a slew of schlubs, finally meets a good one, marries him - and ends up falling hopelessly in love after the fact, living happily ever after [insert eyeroll here]. It could also become a comedy in the Baby Mama mold, with the single mom searching for a guy who will just be a good father to her son - and, of course, discovering that they were always meant to be together. But the article is more complicated than that, and I'm curious to see if there's some kind of movie - heck, even a documentary - that would more accurately convey its points.

What do you think? Of all the possibilities, what do you think would be the best-case scenario for a movie version of "Marry Him"?

Source

Glee-ful Highlights From Season Finale "Goodbye"

Shannon Vestal — Wed, 23 May 2012 15:00:40 PDT

We say goodbye to McKinley High's graduating class of 2012 on this week's season finale of Glee, and while we'll be seeing a lot of these characters next year, for some, it was their swan song (pardon the pun). Everyone is feeling nostalgic, not the least of whom is Mr. Schue, who gives the kids an assignment of picking a goodbye song. The episode is mostly devoted to the characters giving each other touching send-offs, which made me feel sentimental too.

There's a pretty big development at the end of the episode that I was expecting, but it surprised me by how bittersweet it actually is. Ready to break down the highlights of the Glee season finale? Just keep reading.

Jane Krakowski Says Jenna Would Play Anastasia in Fifty Shades of Grey

Annie Scudder — Wed, 23 May 2012 12:10:25 PDT

30 Rock's season finale aired last week, and it's official that the next season will be its last. We caught up with Jane Krakowski, who plays Jenna Maroney, the narcissistic actress engaged to her male impersonator. In addition to her work on 30 Rock, Jane's using her comedic talent for Best Night Ever, an upcoming vignette series for NBC. She'll star alongside Andy Cohen and Giuliana Rancic. We had a chance to talk to Jane, and she reflected on what she's learned from 30 Rock and even took a guess at what Jenna would make of the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon. Read on.

TrèsSugar: The S&M erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey is a bestseller and being made into a movie. Do you think Jenna would find it tame?
Jane Krakowski: I'm sure Jenna is buying the rights already to play the role. Everybody's reading that book. I haven't read it yet, but I see it in everyone's hands.

TS: Have you learned anything from your 30 Rock character over the years?
JK: I think my big lesson is to probably not do anything that Jenna does. So whatever she does, do the opposite. You might be better off. But that's the fun part about playing someone like her. You can be as outrageous as possible and get away with it within our structure that is TGS and 30 Rock, so there are so many things that the character has done over the seasons where I'm like, "Really? Are you sure we're going to be able to do this and get away with this?" And in that world and the blanket that is Tina Fey's genius it always seems to be alright. I will trust her wherever she sends me.

TS: Who is your favorite couple on the show?
JK: Well of course I'm thrilled Jenna has taken one step toward being humane by getting engaged. Although, Paul being a wonderful man it's (still) the most narcissistic wedding that could possibly happen, because she's marrying a male impersonator of her. I've always enjoyed Liz Lemon's relationships. I loved when Michael Sheen was on the show. I really adored him. I think her current relationship with the character of Criss is really a great one.

TS: In your latest role in NBC's TV vignettes series titled Best Night Ever, you play a tarot card reader. What would you hope the cards hold for Jenna?
JK: Wow. I sort of wish the tarot card reader would tell me that 30 Rock is not ending after 13 episodes next season. We found out that it's official that we're only going to be doing 13 more. It's been the greatest experience.

You can watch our interview with Jane below and also find out why she's excited about her new role in Best Night Ever.

"I'm Not Sure What I Want Anymore"

Tres Community — Wed, 23 May 2012 10:30:54 PDT

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I am having a hard time making some big decisions in my life right now. My boyfriend and I are currently long distance, but we were together for over two years before that. After he moved, we stayed together for a while and then broke up for a few months because of the distance and unclear future. We got back together at the end of last year and have been trying to make things work since then. We're both aware that we need to be in the same city to make things work, and I started making plans to accomplish that. The thing is, I'm not sure I want to leave. Or rather, I'm pretty sure I don't. I love where I live, I am lucky enough to have an amazing job with advancement potential, and if I do move, I'll be giving all of that up and starting over.

To add another layer, our relationship is not without its issues. When we were in the same place, there was a fair amount of drama, and in the time we were broken up, I was with someone else, and this has caused trust issues and hurt feelings. In spite of this, we love each other, and I want to marry him and start a family. I know that because of his ties to where he is living now, he will not move, so it's up to me to go there, and not vice versa. I told myself that the move was something I was willing to do so we could be together, but that I wouldn't do it without knowing he was really in it and wanted the same future I do.

Recently, though, I've been feeling like I don't want to move at all, and wondering why I should be the one to do it if we both want the relationship to work. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if I should end things and hope that we can remain friends, or if I should suck it up and move for a future I hope we'll have.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Bachelorette Breakdown: The Week's Biggest Whoa!-ments

Maggie Pehanick — Tue, 22 May 2012 09:13:48 PDT

Week two on The Bachelorette brought plenty of action, and I'm not just talking about the chemistry between Emily and Kermit - though that was slightly uncomfortable. No, I'm referring to the first one-on-one dates, the first group date, and all the poolside drama. It looks like we've got a veritable Real Housewives of Charlotte on our hands, only in this case the housewives are men and Botox is replaced by Muscle Milk.

I'm recounting the good times, and the especially bad times, from this week's episode when you

When Emily told Ryan they'd be baking cookies for her daughter's soccer team on the show's first one-on-one date, I was like, Whoa. No doubt this guy thought the only food preparation he'd have to do on The Bachelorette would be stomping his own grapes when producers flew him and his date to the scenic Napa Valley, and even then it would all just be for show and they'd get to drink perfectly aged Merlot by the fire while staring into each other's eyes. Not this season, buddy!
When Ricki showed up in the audience of the group date, I was like, Whoa! Wasn't the whole purpose of bringing the show to Charlotte so that Emily could still maintain some semblance of normalcy in her daughter's life? First she brings Ryan to soccer practice (but makes him wait in the car mere yards away from her daughter) and now this? (Side note: I kept thinking they should have rolled up the tinted window, lest Ricki see the strange man in her mother's car, but then it occurred to me that he might suffocate in the South Carolina heat.) Actually, come to think of it, watching your mom be the ringleader in a variety show starring the Muppets and a dozen suitors (one of which will be your new daddy!) is pretty commonplace nowadays.
Whilst lounging in the hot tub, Kalon let slip that he thought Doug "put being a dad on hold" to be on the show, and Doug was all, Whoa. Despite the fact that Kalon is coming off like a tool and clearly making no friends, Doug overreacted a touch and told him to "check it," but in a much more serious way. Kalon tried to interject, and again Doug was like, "Check it." I believe the phrase he's looking for is actually "Check yourself before you wreck yourself, bro." It also appears that Kalon is no longer "Helicopter Guy" and has now been given the nickname "Chopper," which the guys think is derogatory, but which is actually really cool and something I might try to get my friends to call me.
Meanwhile, Emily went on her date with Joe. The two dined at her local cotillion venue and put their hopes and dreams in the "love clock." After laying out his wishes to come back to Charlotte to marry her, Emily told Joe he wasn't the guy for her, and Joe was like, Whoa. It was brutal, but it was necessary.
After the loads of private time he got with her this week, Ryan still thought it would be kosher to monopolize Emily's time before the final elimination. He did this by writing her a seven-page letter and then making her read it to him out loud. It took 15 minutes, which is about two weeks in Bachelorette hours. This wouldn't be quite so bad if Taylor wasn't awkwardly waiting in the wings, caught in the unfortunate position of either backing down or breaking mid-letter-read. All the guys who were watching from outside were like, Whoa.

Did I miss any whoa!-ments?

Photo courtesy of ABC

Why Everyone (Even 20-Somethings) Should Make a Will

Business Insider — Tue, 22 May 2012 00:15:44 PDT

Getting a will is not just for those who are on the cusp of retiring. People of all ages should consider writing one, says Business Insider. Here's why.

Despite the well-known fact that everyone alive today will kick the bucket at one point or another, nearly 60 percent of Americans admitted in a 2011 poll conducted by online legal service Rocket Lawyer that they didn't have a will.

In fact, one-third said they'd rather do their taxes, get a root canal, or give up sex for a month than lay out their dying wishes in black and white.

All right, let's not get out of hand now.

Making a will these days is easier than ever, and if you've been putting it off simply because it seems daunting, then you could be making a big mistake.

"You do it for your family's [future]," says Rocket Lawyer founder Charley Moore. "[A will] enables you to start thinking about issues like whether you have the right insurance coverage, life insurance, and ways of replacing your lost income."

Whether you're 22 years old and just ran your umpteenth marathon or you're ready to retire, laying out an estate plan should definitely be near the top of your to-do list.

It's one of the three most important documents every adult should have.

Here are the other two, according to Moore:

A living will: Also called an advanced healthcare directive, a living will is where you lay out all the nuts and bolts of your end-of-life care. If you wind up in a coma or unresponsive in the hospital, then a living will can help your family decide how to handle your medical treatment.

Durable power of attorney: Choose an attorney you trust to administer your estate after your death, says Moore. He or she will be objective (unlike family members), and their entire job is to follow your wishes.

Read on for more.

Game of Thrones "The Prince of Winterfell": What We're Still Talking About

Becky Kirsch — Mon, 21 May 2012 11:39:38 PDT

It's hard to believe that there are only two episodes of Game of Thrones left, and this week feels like the calm before the storm. As Robb, Theon, Tyrion, and Stannis prepare for some serious battles, the ladies in all of their lives start making some moves of their own.

Catelyn takes family matters into her own hands, Talisa finally seals the deal with Robb, and Osha's keeping a secret. As the tease for next week's episode reminds us, war is on the horizon, but let's get into this week's biggest moments when you

Catelyn sets Jaime free. Catelyn makes a decision of the heart and sends Jaime back to King's Landing under Brienne's watch. Naturally, Robb is none too pleased to hear about this, and calls his mom a traitor for negotiating with the Lannisters. So even if Jaime makes it all the way home (which I'm doubtful of, since he's weaseled his way out of the Starks' grip before), what's going to happen when Arya is nowhere to be found?
Robb and Talisa sitting in a tree. Robb's got a lot on his plate right now, what with Theon leading Occupy Winterfell and his mother freeing Jaime and all, but he's still got his flirtation with Talisa to keep him going. Their relationship gets taken to the next level after a deep conversation about life and death, and Robb adorably admits that he doesn't want to marry the Frey girl he's betrothed to. Talisa returns the sentiment and - after what feels like many minutes of trying to unlace Robb's shirt - they get busy on the floor tent. I love seeing Robb as the vulnerable teenager he really is under his kingly demeanor, but I have a bad feeling that his relationship with Talisa is not long for this world.
Bran and Rickon live (of course)! I wasn't really expecting Bran and Rickon to be the poor charred bodies that Theon proudly displays in the center of Winterfell, but I still breathed a sigh of relief when we see that they're safe. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for the local farm boys who ultimately suffered Theon's wrath. Theon gets an earful from Yara, who essentially calls him a moron for killing the Stark boys, and he doesn't fight back - so does this mean he doesn't know who he actually ordered to death?
Arya and Jaqen go full alliance. With only one death order left under her belt, Arya starts getting clever with her pact with Jaqen. To get even more help from him, she asks that he help her escape - if not, she'll order his suicide. Since Jaqen knows that he's beat, he agrees and takes down the guards so that Arya, Gendry, and Hot Pie can flee Harrenhal. But where will they go from here? And is this the last we'll see of Jaqen?
Cersei gets the upper hand (and then immediately loses it). During a standard round of sibling banter with Cersei and Tyrion, Cersei starts acting obviously smug about something. Tyrion bites and she tells him that she's learned about the whore he's been hiding, and she threatens to kill her if anything should happen to Joffrey in battle. Tyrion starts to sweat, but then - twist! - Cersei's apprehended the wrong woman, and Shae is still safe.

What'd you think of the episode? And with war brewing, who do you think will make it through the rest of the season?

Photo courtesy of HBO

5 Perks of Dating a Geek

Annie Scudder — Sun, 20 May 2012 09:23:22 PDT

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg married longtime girlfriend Priscilla Chan last night in a surprise ceremony in his backyard. Priscilla, who just finished med school last week, has been dating Mark for almost a decade, after they met at Harvard. The Social Network makes the case that computer nerd Mark created Facebook to help him get chicks. But if all women knew that dating a technology lover comes with so many perks, they wouldn't need to be convinced. And in reality, Mark and Priscilla have been together since before he released "The Facebook." Here are five reasons to seek out a geeky guy.

They're genuine: There's a good chance a geek has spent more time playing video games than practicing his game. And if he's used to being the dating underdog, he'll likely appreciate having you in his life.
They set up your electronics: Can't get your WiFi to work? Dream of an awesome entertainment setup but frightened by cords? Find a guy that looks at setting up electronics as a form of entertainment itself.
They fix your computers: Your time spent waiting in line at the Genius Bar or on the phone with technical support will drop drastically. And if they can't fix it, they know someone who can.
They expand your knowledge: If you think of the Internet as a series of tubes, spending time with a computer nerd can make technology seem like less of a mystery. And if they have a thing for nonfiction books, they'll probably share what they've learned.
They can find anything on the Internet: Geeks can call on their superior online research skills when you're planning a vacation or looking for a new restaurant for date night. How romantic!

Anything to add, geek lovers?

Source: Facebook user Priscilla Chan