TresSugar

Ever Wonder What Happened to David "Bud Bundy" Faustino?

GiggleSugar — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 13:00:00 -0800

From Married . . . With Children? If you really want to know, like, if you're really ready to risk seeing something that cannot be unseen (I'm warning you now!), then click away. And don't say I didn't warn you.

You Asked: What If We Have Sex Just Once?

DearSugar — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 14:20:32 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I am happily married with children - and have a huge crush on an old boyfriend. We would never date again. We would not even have an affair, but I have been toying with the idea of wanting to just have one sex session with him. What do you think?

- Thinking About it Abigail

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Thinking About it Abigail -

What do I think??? Sister, I don't think this would be a ONE TIME "sex session," do you? I'm not sure what your definition of an affair is, but having sex with someone else IS an affair. Any way that you cheat on your husband and go against the vows you made on your wedding day constitutes an affair, or at least in my book.

Your feelings and desires for this old flame are by no means wrong, but because of your commitment to your present husband, you CANNOT follow through with them unless you are willing to give up your marriage. If your eyes are wandering towards other men, it sounds like something is lacking in your marriage. Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Maybe he can help give you what you need emotionally and/or sexually.

If you have this one time sex session, you might be risking breaking up your marriage. What if your husband finds out? How would you feel if he wanted a divorce? How will you explain that to your children? If you are unsatisfied or unhappy with your marriage in any way, then you need to address that issue first. Have you considered marriage counseling? I would advise you not to get involved with another man before you address your issues - it'll only make matters worse. Good luck Abigail.

Source

First Openly Gay Bishop Ordained in Sweden

TresSugar — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Swedish meatballs. IKEA. Abba. Free health care and education. As if those riches weren't enough for one nation to hoard, now comes the news that over the weekend, Eva Brunne, above left, was ordained as Sweden's first openly gay bishop. Another female pastor, Tuulikki Koivunen Bylund, was also ordained as Bishop of Härnösand in northern Sweden. Around 75 percent of Swedes belong to the Lutheran church.

Brunne, 55, is in a civil union partnership with another woman and both of them are the parents of a three-year-old child.

Did I mention that Sweden also allows same-sex couples to adopt children and was one of the first countries to marry gay people in a major church? Yeah, I'll stop now, but I could go on. Sweden seriously has it going on.

Infamous Reform School For Girls Closes Its Doors

TresSugar — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0700

The idea of a reform school for girls seems to come straight out of a B-movie from the '50s, complete with stock characters like the naïve innocent, the hardened mean girl with a heart of gold who ends up plotting a way for them both to escape, and an evil warden who gets in their way. It's hard to believe that such a place could still exist.

Until August of this year, the notorious Beloit reform school for girls in Beloit, KS did exist, and the school, founded in the 1890s, only recently shut down because the state could no longer afford to house the remaining 21 girls to the tune of $200,000 a year.

Although the school's founders had good intentions, Beloit's dark history includes the severe mistreatment of girls, many of who were running away from physically and sexually abusive homes. In effect, the abused were shipped off to be further abused. How bad did it get? In the '30s, a superintendent who was influenced by Nazi eugenics practices had 62 of her charges involuntarily sterilized. To read more about the history of Beloit and how it evolved, read more

Beloit was founded and in part funded by the suffragist and pro-Prohibition group The Women's Christian Temperance Union in the 1890s. Sometimes, the girls there were practically "indentured" by farm families in this rural town in order to earn the food they ate. (This was all before the state took over.)

At the time, according to Russell Jennings, commissioner of the Kansas Juvenile Justice Authority, girls "were really viewed in our society much more as property." They didn't even have to run away to be deemed "incorrigible" or "wayward." They only had to be, as he put it, "a pain in the neck."

In a file from a girl housed (incarcerated?) at Beloit in the '30s, her offenses were that she "associated with Mexican men" and "became intoxicated at dances." Another woman was sent to the reform school for "being immoral (with father)."

A federal law passed in the mid-1970s ended the practice of sending girls to reform school when their offenses, if they'd been committed by adults, would not be considered crimes. But their incarceration continued in Kansas until 1983. Now, troubled teenage girls are sent to community centers where they can get the help that they need.

In spite of its history, for some who stayed there, Beloit was a haven from abuse at home. "I will always believe that because of Beloit and the staff, I am where I am today," said a 50-year-old who is happily married with three children and counsels survivors of sexual abuse. "They saved the lives of unwanted children."

Source

Say What? Louisiana Judge Won't Marry Interracial Couples

TresSugar — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0700

"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way."

- Keith Bardwell, a Louisiana Justice of the Peace who sounds like a Rip Van Winkle character who slept through the '60s,'70s, '80s . . . (you get the picture). He says he's concerned for the children interracial couples would have, and that in Tangipahoa Parish where he lives, interracial marriages don't last long. Last I heard, the chances of any marriage in the US lasting is about 50/50 and that people of opposite sexes, anyway, are free to marry who they choose.

Life For Afghan Women: Not Better Under Karzai

TresSugar — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 11:45:00 -0700

Women everywhere fight for their rights - but women in Afghanistan have it particularly bad.

BBC reporter Jane Corbin was invited by a French charity, based in Herat, Afghanistan, that treats women who have self-immolated. Most of these women set fire to themselves to escape a forced marriage or a violent husband. In the photo above, a woman comforts her 20-year-old daughter in the hospital. In an attempted suicide to protest a forced marriage to an elderly man and escape rumors of an affair with a younger one, she set fire to herself and now suffers from burns over 85 percent of her body.

Although women were promised equality and human rights by the introduction of democracy, a new constitution, and President Hamid Karzai’s presidency in 2004, the reality of their situation is still bleak.

Sixty percent of women are still forced into marriage as children, sometimes as young as nine or 10. Since Westerners intervened, this was supposed to have changed under a law that stated girls under 16 should not be married. But police don't always investigate the crimes, and male judges often reduce the sentences of men guilty of harming women.

Some women are standing up to the Taliban, which is trying to turn back any minuscule gains women may have from new leadership. Prosecutor Maria Bashir, who requires security guards and has survived bombing attacks, is trying to protect women from men even though laws are supposed to do this. Bashir does this even though it puts her family in danger - the son of another lawyer was beheaded by people who thought he was her son.

A news story today makes an Afghan woman's plight almost unthinkable: a law has passed that allows a man to starve his wife if she refuses his sexual demands. Some accuse Karzai of allowing this barbaric law to pass so that he can get support from the conservative Shia support in next week’s presidential election.

There is a sliver of hope: there are women activists like Bashir who risk their lives fighting for women’s rights and, in spite of an 80 percent illiteracy rate among Afghan women, girls still dream of going to school and having a career.

Church of England Reaches Out to Those "Living in Sin"

TresSugar — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 13:00:00 -0700

Accepting that modern couples may be turned off by traditionally rigid morals, the Church of England is making an effort to welcome families who have had children out of wedlock.

Today, the Church unveiled a new "hatch and match" service that offers a two-for-one wedding and baptism ceremony. Now couples can get married and have their children baptized all in one day!

But not everyone is happy by the Church's effort to stay relevant. Some argue that it condones having children before marriage, while another member of the faith said: "It's a shame that what should be a bride's day now stands to be hijacked by screaming kids."

The Church hopes the new offering will atone for the tradition of shunning unmarried mothers by welcoming them back into the Church without judgment. Now let's just see if the women (and their partners and children) will take the offer.

Source: Flickr User Cornell University Library

Scientists: Women Getting More Beautiful, Men Remain Same

TresSugar — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 09:00:00 -0700

A cadre of scientists has determined that evolution is driving women to become more beautiful while "men remain as aesthetically unappealing as their caveman ancestors."

Scientists claim that attractive couples (based on ”objective assessments of physical attractiveness”) tend to have more children and those children are more likely to be female. Those adult daughters may marry and mate with attractive men, have lots of daughters . . . and so on and so on. Over generations, the scientists conclude, women have become steadily more aesthetically pleasing.

What do nonscientists think of these findings? If the comments section of this article is any indication - not much! Responding to the claim that women are getting more beautiful, Elizabeth Payne wrote, "Not where I'm living they aint......!!!!" What does Graham Mitchell think? "Women are getting more beautiful? Yes. And alcohol is getting stronger." Ha!

Source

All You Need Is Love . . . Not!

TresSugar — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 09:58:16 -0700

Researchers at Australian National University set out to discover what makes couples stick together and ended up with a long list of circumstances that make couples more likely to split up.

For six years, the study tracked 2,500 couples who were married or living together. Some factors that influence a relationship's staying power include:

Age: A husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced. The same goes for a husband who marries before 25.
Children: One-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage (either from a previous relationship or the same relationship) separated, compared to nine percent of couples without children born before marriage.
Parents: Sixteen percent of people whose parents separated or divorced experienced marital separation, compared to 10 percent of those whose parents never separated.
Past relationships: Partners who are on their second or third marriages are 90 percent more likely to separate than those on their first marriage.
Smoking: When only one partner smokes, a couple is more likely to split up.

Are you surprised by any of these findings?

Source: Flickr User foundphotoslj

Would You Go to an Adult Sex Ed Class?

TresSugar — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:33:22 -0700

Some religious people may object to sex education for kids, but churches around the country are increasingly offering such courses for adults.

In fact, a specific group of churches puts sexuality at the heart of their mission. Over 40,000 children and adults have taken at least one of the group's "Our Whole Lives" courses, which emphasize the important role sex plays in our lives. A spokesperson explained: "Your sexuality doesn't end after you stop having babies or get divorced or after you turn 60. It is who we are in our core. We feel it has to be integrated into our spirituality because, for us, spirituality is about wholeness."

Unlike sex therapy or marriage counseling, sex education courses aren't necessarily for people who have serious problems in their relationships. Varied topics covered in the courses include how to enjoy sex after losing a breast to breast cancer, how to manage being a parent and a sexual person, and how to feel sexually satisfied if you're not married.

Would you considering taking one of these courses?