TresSugar

Tell Us "What Is Your Love End Game?" and Enter to Win the Ultimate Valentine's Date Package!

TresSugar — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 09:24:35 PST

With Valentine's Day on the horizon, love is in the air. But while February 14 always conjures up images of roses and chocolate, new research suggests that modern relationships are less traditional. Fewer Americans are getting married and those who do are waiting longer. For Valentine's Day, we partnered with AskMen.com and want to ask our readers if and how their ideas of love and goals for their relationships are changing. And we want to see if the attitudes of men and women about their "love end game" are evolving in the same or different ways. So whether your a man or woman, single or taken, fill out our short survey about love and marriage. You'll be entered to win the ultimate Valentine's date package from Limos.com complete with luxury car service, dinner for two, and flowers! Click here for official rules.

Take Our Survey Now!

"I'm Worried I'm Marrying Too Young"

Tres Community — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 03:05:55 PST

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

I'm 20 about to turn 21, my boyfriend is 21. Weve been together for almost three years, we'll be moving in together in a couple months and plan to get married next year. We've never had huge problems, nothing to make us question our compatibility or future together. We are each other's first partners and we're a bit uneducated in the field of love and life experiences. But we're not immature or wild young kids, he's a cop and I'm in nursing school, it's not like we're trying to figure out our lives.

I'm just a little scared because I keep hearing getting married before 30 is too soon, you'll grow apart and all that. I also hear you should date at least seven people before you settle down. I know what I like in a man, I know my boyfriend is great but all this talk is worrisome. I love him and want things to work out, should we wait until we're older?

The only thing that would make me leave him is if he cheated on me, sure sometimes I get annoyed by him but we've never had problems. I think why wait until we're thirty when we're both mature and know who we are? I always hear, well you're different in your twenties, wild and just looking for fun. In your thirties you're an adult, mature. But I think that's how we are now, we're both on the same page. All this talk about divorce makes me scared to get married, but I really want to . . . what are your thoughts on age of marriage, about my situation?

There's lots of cool stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups, and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

Love, Sex, & Marriage in the Days of Downton Abbey

Tara Sharp — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:17:04 PST

The entire plot of the first season of PBS's standout show Downton Abbey revolves around the cultural customs and laws of heirs, women's rights, and marriage during the last hoorah of Britain's Edwardian era at the cusp of World War I. Then the current season covers WWI and beyond, from 1916 to 1920. This transition was a time of social and political turmoil, and it marked a pivotal change for women's rights in Britain. To better understand where women stood and how far we've come, let's look at the rules of love, sex, and marriage in Britain's Edwardian era, and how things changed after World War I.

Gay Marriage Supporters Cheer as Appeals Court Rules Prop 8 Is Unconstitutional

Annie Scudder — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 11:05:05 PST

A federal appeals court has reaffirmed that California's gay-marriage ban is unconstitutional. Today, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals found that voter-passed Proposition 8 violates the 14th Amendment of the US constitution. Gay marriage supporters outside the courthouse in San Francisco cheered the decision, but the fight isn't over yet. The case will likely make it to the US Supreme Court as early as next year.

The court's ruling stated: “Proposition 8 served no purpose, and had no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California." The court also refused to throw out the decision of lower court judge, retired Chief US District Judge Vaughn R. Walker, on the basis of his sexual orientation. After the trial, Judge Walker, who is openly gay, revealed that he has been in a same-sex relationship for 10 years. See photos of the celebrations now.

4 Ways to Divide and Conquer Expenses as a Couple

SavvySugar — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 05:00:02 PST

Money tends to be a sensitive, conflict-sparking subject for couples, so deciding how to split expenses can be tricky. There are several different options for dividing payments, each with their own benefits and drawbacks. Here are four of the most common methods for splitting expenses, plus the potential pros and cons of each choice:

Divide all expenses 50/50. Splitting all costs in half is certainly a simple option, but the reactions may be a bit complicated. Sure, everyone's paying their "fair share," but the person who makes less money in the relationship may be frustrated that they're paying a higher fraction of their salary.
Pay in a ratio according to both salaries. If one partner makes $50,000 and the other makes $100,000, then all expenses would be paid in a one to two ratio so that the first person covers one-third of each bill. Dividing costs to correspond with salaries ensures that both partners are spending an equal percentage of their paycheck each month. The downside? Things may get messy with pay raises or pay cuts, and the person with a higher salary may grow resentful.
The breadwinner pays all. This is a good option if one partner stays home with the kids or has an artistic career with sporadic, unpredictable income. To prevent any bitterness, it's important for the nonbreadwinner to take care of other tasks around the home so that the responsibilities feel balanced.
Different bills for each partner. Another way to divide is to simply assign separate bills to each partner. Does one person watch television more often? They can be in charge of the cable bill. Does the other take long, scalding-hot showers? The water bill is theirs. It may be difficult to split things equally, but this is a great way to step back and recognize which habits are costing money.

When it comes to splitting expenses - and feeling satisfied with finances as a couple - the key is communication. Both partners should encourage each other to speak up and be honest about their opinions. It all comes down to balance, so it's important to treat money like any other responsibility and learn to compromise.

Sunday Confessional: He Wants to Get Married, but I Don't

Tres Community — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 03:05:00 PST

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

I have been dating a guy for 7.5 years. We have not married yet because we met when I was very young - just 16. Now that I'm 24, he has been saying things like "We should get married soon." Even though I'm very happy and touched that he wants to marry me, I feel like I am not ready to marry him.

Part of it is because I myself do not feel mature and ready to be in marriage, to be someone's wife. I feel as though that is a whole new set of responsibilities, despite how long we have already been together, and I need more time to ready myself mentally.

But secondly, I also I feel like I'm not 100% sure about entering a marriage with a few current things going on in our relationship. Sometimes I feel like I can't absolutely trust every single word coming out of his mouth, and sometimes he seems to doubt what I say too. We have had a history where we both caught the other person lying a few times. Plus he's in a career highly popular with women wanting a piece of him (and his co-workers) and in order to fit in with them he is required to spend a lot of time partying and they always bring a lot of beautiful, sexy women to the parties. That in itself makes me hesitate.

On top of it all, I am a jealous and insecure person, and I want to conquer those inner devils the best I can before I step into a life-long commitment.

At this point I have probably made you all think that I'm a mess and so is our relationship, but I would still like some honest advice. Thanks in advance for even reading all this.

There's lots of cool stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups, and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

Will and Kate Enjoy a Busy Newlywed Christmas

Annie Scudder — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 13:15:42 PST

Prince William and Kate Middleton are enjoying their first holiday season as a married couple! Today Will, Kate, and other royals attended Christmas day services at St. Mary Magdalene Church in Norfolk, England. The royal family seemed in good spirits, even though Prince Philip, William's grandfather, is in the hospital following an emergency heart procedure. Harry and William reportedly paid him a visit on Friday.

Earlier in the week, the couple visited the Centrepoint charity in London, the organization most closely associated with Princess Diana. On Dec. 19, the duke and duchess put on their Winter's finest for The Sun's Military Awards. Brother-in-law Prince Harry came along for the event that helped kick off Kate's first Christmas as an official member of the royal family. Earlier in the day, she and her new royal relatives attended a pre-Christmas dinner hosted by the queen. As for the rest of the holiday season, it appears Will and Kate have worked out a schedule that will let them see both of their families, just like other couples who have to negotiate holiday plans. Here's what the duke and duchess reportedly have planned:

On Dec. 19, they attended a pre-Christmas lunch with the queen and other royals, as well as The Sun Military Awards.
On Dec. 21, Will and Kate made an appearance at Centrepoint, an organization important to Prince William's mother, Princess Diana. It helps young homeless people. They participated in a cooking session and watched a show by the winner of the organization's talent show.
On Christmas, the couple spends the day with William's family at the queen's private estate, Sandringham House, in Norfolk. Although she dated Will for 10 years and was engaged to him by last Christmas, this is Kate's first invite.
On Boxing Day, Dec. 26, Kate will join William for the traditional hunting outing on the estate, although sources say Kate won't pick up a gun, either for fear of upsetting animal rights groups or simply because traditions states that the ladies don't shoot. Reports also claimed that Pippa would join the royal family on the 26th, but they have been disputed. We'll have to wait and see.
After Christmas and Boxing Day, Will and Kate will travel to Buckleburry to spend time with Kate's family. No word on New Year's Eve plans!

See photos from the festive and charitable events now.

Marriage Rates at Record Low: Bad News For Economy

LearnVest — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 03:15:56 PST

We're thrilled to present this smart LearnVest story here on Savvy!

Bride Wars. Bridezillas. Bridalplasty. Shedding for the Wedding. Platinum Weddings. Say Yes to the Dress.

If you flip through the channels, it looks like all of America is altar-bound.

But in fact, the Pew Research Center found that American marriage rates are at an all-time low: Only 51% of Americans over age 18 are married. Marriage rates have declined by 5% between 2009 and 2010 and 21 percentage points since 1960, when 72% of adults were married.

Are We Aging Out of Marriage?

It’s no surprise that things are very different today from only a few short years ago - see cell phones, laptops, tablets and the Facebook timeline. The big things are changing, too.

Half of men getting married for the first time are 29 years or older and half of women marrying for the first time are 27 or older, which means that many Americans are tying the knot well past age 30. Of course, the big 3-0 is getting younger and younger, so the news isn’t revelatory, but for reference, remember that Marie Antoinette married at age 14. In more recent history, Elizabeth Taylor’s first marriage took place when she was only 18.

Marriage and Money

So, what does all this have to do with money? A lot, it turns out.

First, married people tend to accumulate money. As Pew researcher and senior writer D’Vera Cohn explains in The Huffington Post, "Some of that might have to do with who chooses to get married, that is, people who are educated have less of a decline in their marriage rates than people who are less educated. We also know that the kind of partnership marriage encourages is one in which you plan for the future, share your assets, build wealth together. There isn’t that evidence yet for people who live together."

Second, beyond the married couple’s individual finances, their marriage affects the wider economy. Married people wait to make big purchases and investments until they’ve "settled down." Those purchases include houses, children, property . . . the big things that keep our economy spinning in a way that rent checks and vodka sodas can’t manage.

We're not saying that marriage will make you rich, or that opting out of the contract keeps you from being so. But research shows that marriage is good for our finances and good for the economy at large, so it follows that a decline in marriage rates isn’t exactly helping us climb out of the recession crater.

There goes the bride.

More From LearnVest
There’s a way to get $1,600 in free food, but it involves online dating and spreadsheets.
When it comes to getting what you want, are wish lists practical or tacky?
We know they’re wobbly, but how do high heels indicate economic instability?

Start Your Own Relationship Tradition For the Holidays

Annie Scudder — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 10:00:13 PST

Can the most wonderful time of the year also be the sexiest? You might think family time, overeating, and stressful shopping guarantee that the holidays are anything but sexy. Yet, sexual health expert Dr. Hilda Hutcherson says that doesn't have to be the case. She says the season has one thing going for it: time off, which you can spend together.

"No other time of year allows for quite a break, and while holiday duties may fill your schedule, it's important for you as a couple to take advantage of the newfound freedom," explains Dr. Hutcherson, who recently authored the Seasons of Love ebook. And she has one creative way to fill the time you set aside for you and your partner: start a relationship tradition. "Whether it is exchanging a present a few days early, planning a special date night, or playing hooky one day to find the perfect tree," Dr. Hutcherson tells me, "doing something special with your partner will make the Winter season just that, special." Another idea she offers: go see an action flick and agree to re-create some action when you get home.

If you're in a longterm relationship, do you have a special holiday tradition you've created together? Share them in the comments!

Famous Never-Married Couples

Tara Sharp — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 09:49:00 PST

A recent report has found that the number of US adults who are married is at an all-time low of 51 percent, with more people marrying later in life, skipping I dos for economical reasons, or living together before marriage. And the married young adult decline is especially steep - 50 years ago, 60 percent of 18-29-year-olds were married, while today it's just 20 percent.

In Hollywood, we see engagements and weddings all the time, but there are some couples who have been together for upwards of 20-plus years with kids and everything and go by partner instead of husband and wife. See the never-married celeb couples now!