TresSugar

The Food Court Musical

GiggleSugar — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Improv Everywhere is known for busting out comedic performances in unlikely locations, so they staged a musical - in a shopping mall food court. It all started with the Hot Dog on a Stick girl crying over spilled lemonade and ended with the whole food court triumphantly singing about napkin shortage. Hungry patrons, clueless that the joke was on them, didn't know whether to laugh or cry. If you ask me, all they had to do was buy a corn dog from the crying chick and tell her to shove it. But that would have made this a lot less funny.

Teenage Flirting At The Mall

GiggleSugar — Mon, 21 May 2007 12:57:52 -0700

Ah, young love: so raw and intense and...painful? I think someone needs to brush up on his "making the first move" skills.

Push Prank - Click here for another funny movie.

Mall Rats: 10 Uses For Dead and Dying Malls

CitizenSugar — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 13:00:19 -0700

Empty swimming pools have always fascinated and disturbed me; they're cold, creepy holes for the better part of the year. Mall season has been coming to its end since the '90s, and more and more empty malls and shopping centers are sitting sad and stark, like inverted pools, off highways across the country.

How'd it happen? For years, developers assumed they'd make money if they built malls bigger than the last. And that assumption was correct, for a while. But they never foresaw what would happen to their big box when a bigger one was built. Now cities that house once-crowning, albeit fake, jewels struggle with lost tax revenue, vandalism and crime, and decreasing property values.

But malls don't have to go to hell. If they haven't been allowed to decay and were structurally sound to begin with (that may be a big if), then they can be retrofitted, greened, and reinhabited. Check out 10 new uses for old malls below - maybe you have something better to add!

Community college classrooms
Libraries
Parks, especially malls built on wetlands that are now environmentally protected
Senior housing
Town centers, incorporated into mixed-use streets with housing, offices, and shopping

To see the rest, read more.

Public and private offices
Community centers
Car dealerships
Nonprofit arts groups
Immigrant mom-and-pop shops

Source

OMG BFF LOL: Two Mall Rats Talk Shopping and Wanting

TresSugar — Wed, 27 May 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Well, I guess this says something about the state of current girlhood in America, but it's not, um, pretty. OMG BFF LOL is a cartoon from artist Charlie White's exhibit The Girl Studies. It follows two girls who love shopping at the mall, and like, shopping some more.

In this episode, the two Barbie-like teens walk in and exclaim malls are like heaven - everything you could ever want on a never-ending path of tiled floors. But then the pessimist of the duo contemplates that the mall is much more like hell: everything you could want, but you can't have it all. Deep! My favorite quote? "I love to want."

At first, OMG BFF LOL just seems senseless and over the top, and then it seems like a hellish prequel to Sex and the City. Maybe the unending cycle of wanting-getting-wanting will die with malls?

Product of the Day: Waistband Stretcher

GiggleSugar — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 04:30:00 -0800

What a perfect time to buy this amazing product - after weeks of stuffing your face at family gatherings and right around the time New Year's resolutions start menacing you. Eff diets, exercise or mindful eating. Just buy the waistband stretcher and make your clothes conform to you. From SkyMall, naturally!

What's Tackier?

GiggleSugar — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 04:00:00 -0700

You know, SkyMall makes this way too easy. Imagine your guests trying to keep a straight face when they're putting drinks down on your sumo wrestler coffee table as Fluffy hops out of the planter after taking a dump. Classy! What's tackier?

Source & Source

Book of the Day: SkyMaul

GiggleSugar — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 09:55:58 -0800

One of my favorite reading materials on a plane, aside from tabloids and, ahem, serious novels, is Sky Mall, purveyors of some seriously dumb crapola. (DaVinci Code decoder, anyone? Hand-held lie detector?) So I'm looking forward to see how you could possibly spoof something that's already a joke. That's why I'm going to check out SkyMaul: Happy Crap You Can Buy From a Plane.

Product of the Day: The de-FIB-ulator

GiggleSugar — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 03:02:00 -0800

SkyMall is an inflight catalogue that--with the help of high altitudes, pressurized cabins, boredom, and a couple scotch and sodas--can make you want to buy anything.

Which brings me to one such "anything": The de-FIB-ulator. This hand-held lie detector is supposed to work by detecting rising levels of tension (or vibrations) in a speaker's voice. If the person you're speaking to is lying, "Demonochio's nose will grow and his horns will appear." Too bad they don't have one for advertising claims.

Kiss of Arrest: Women Say They Were Unfairly Targeted at Mall

LibertySugar — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 09:30:27 -0800

After she received a kiss on the cheek from her girlfriend, a Texas woman says a mall security officer and a sheriff deputy began harassing her. Now, Jessica Garcia will argue to a court that the mall unfairly targeted her and her girlfriend when they arrested them on trespassing and other charges.

Garcia has recounted the situation like this:

He said, "This is a family mall, y'all can't do this.” We said, "Do what?" He said, "Y'all kissed, and if y'all do it again I'm going to write you a citation or I'm going to kick y'all out."

The officers eventually told them to leave, but when they reentered the mall to get to their car, the officers accused them of trespassing. After a confrontation, the couple was arrested.

This story reminds me of the one from last Summer. An usher at a Seattle Mariners baseball game asked a lesbian couple to stop kissing because it was making another fan uncomfortable. Despite the similarities, being asked to stop kissing, and being arrested for it, are very different things!

Do you think an anti-PDA (gay or straight) policy violates civil liberties, or should malls be able to enforce whatever code of conduct they want?

Source

Shopping Mall Santa: The Hardest Gig in Town?

GiggleSugar — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 13:00:00 -0800

OK, being Santa at the mall has to suck. On top of wearing that hot suit and fake beard, you have whining, screaming kids sitting on your lap, some of them relieving themselves on you. These pictures pretty much say it all. When sorting through them, I labeled one "Help me. Santa's trying to kill me." I called another one, "Resisting Arrest." You really do get the sense that's how these kids feel! For more hilarious pics with Santa, check out the gallery below.

View 8 Photos ›

Source & Source