TresSugar

Pickiness and the Single Woman

TresSugar — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 11:45:49 PDT

Another day, another survey finds single women are pickier than married women. Inevitably, the next breath blames a woman's single situation on her sky-high standards - an argument Lori Gottlieb turned into all-out brawl after writing Marry Him. But maybe it's married women we should be looking at?

Has anyone ever studied the same women before, during, and after marriage to see how standards change? People aren't supposed to date during marriage and nobody likes to predict its afterlife, so that's a hard study to fund. Marriage forces both genders to accept the other as the moody, sloppy, and smelly creatures they are. Eventually the expectations lower.

True it may take some acceptance to make it to the altar, but the rate of divorce shows that those who wed aren't necessarily more accepting. Take, for example, one-night stands after a breakup or divorce. Most women will fess up to lowering standards, partially because it's only one night, but also because they've spent lots of time sleeping with partners in less-than-desirable states.

And then there's age. People seem to become less vain as they get older, so maybe Lori Gottlieb's revelation that women need to love the one they're with was more of an age-appropriate reflection after turning 40 than a learned-the-hard-way lesson?

Is It Really OK to Settle?

OnSugar Blog — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 04:00:00 PST

Here's a post from OnSugar blog The Date Doctor.

So yesterday was D-day, the day Lori Gottlieb's book, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough was released. As a relationship therapist, coach, and dater myself - I am VERY interested in hearing others' thoughts about this. Are men (or women depending on your preference) really like old Kleenex that we readily toss away at the beginning of a flu, but then begin sorting back through the bunch for one that's not so used up? (Not that I have ever done anything like this.) Watch this video and let me know what you think.

Want to see more? Start following The Date Doctor or start your own OnSugar blog. Maybe your stories will be posted here on TrèsSugar!

"Marry Him" Article Could Become a Movie - But What Kind?

BuzzSugar — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:30:00 PDT

Have you read "Marry Him" yet?
If not, get reading! The controversial Atlantic Monthly cover story, subtitled "The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough," has just been optioned by Tobey Maguire's production company and could become a movie.

What's the gist?
In the story - which will also be expanded into a forthcoming book - author Lori Gottlieb writes that her experiences as a 40-year-old single woman (and single mother by choice) have led her to believe that rather than continue the seemingly endless search for Mr. Right, women should consider settling for the next decent guy who comes along. She writes:

Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go.

So, a movie, eh?
Yup, a movie - and I'm quite curious to see what Hollywood will do with this one. On the one hand, I could see it as an extremely conventional romantic comedy: Single woman resolves herself to marry the next OK-enough guy she meets, still has to go through a slew of schlubs, finally meets a good one, marries him - and ends up falling hopelessly in love after the fact, living happily ever after [insert eyeroll here]. It could also become a comedy in the Baby Mama mold, with the single mom searching for a guy who will just be a good father to her son - and, of course, discovering that they were always meant to be together. But the article is more complicated than that, and I'm curious to see if there's some kind of movie - heck, even a documentary - that would more accurately convey its points.

What do you think? Of all the possibilities, what do you think would be the best-case scenario for a movie version of "Marry Him"?

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