TresSugar

Your Face Here

GiggleSugar — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:00:00 -0700

The rich and famous aren't like you and me. They get to have faces in Life & Style magazine.

Were You Ever Attracted to Bad Boys?

TresSugar — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:00:15 -0800

With her rocker eyeliner, all-black wardrobe, and perfected eye roll, Gossip Girl's Jenny Humphrey isn't exactly fitting in with the prissy kids at her prep school. It's obvious that she needs a bad boy by her side, and on last night's episode that's just what she gets.

Jenny meets up with a Belgian diplomat's son, who happens to be drug pusher. She seems turned on or at least intrigued by his rebellious side and ends up helping him with some sales. Luckily, original bad boy Chuck Bass (they know his name even in Europe) is there to save Jenny from the dangers of drugs. But now that she's had a taste of the fast life, I suspect she'll be back for more, especially since she already has the wardrobe.

Although Jenny's appearance in the episode is otherwise pointless, it did remind us that sometimes we can be attracted to bad boys - even if it's completely stupid. Have you ever had a thing for troublemakers?

For more Gossip Girl coverage, check out FabSugar, BellaSugar, BuzzSugar, and CelebStyle.)

Photos courtesy of The CW

Would you Change the Way you Live?

DearSugar — Fri, 04 May 2007 08:30:00 -0700

At a very young age, the mythical places of heaven and hell were ingrained in us in hopes of instilling good behavior. We all trusted that if you were "good" you would go to heaven, and if you were "bad", you would go to hell. While no one is perfect and we all have committed angelic and devilish acts in our lives, if you found out that heaven and hell did actually exist, do tell, would you change the way you live your life?

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Do You Have a Lot in Common With Your Siblings?

TresSugar — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 13:00:07 -0700

The Knowles sisters both looked fierce today in Japan, where they are promoting handbags for Disney. Beyonce and her younger sister Solange both like to sing, but they seem to rock different personal styles and public personas. For example, when Solange shaved her head last month, the Twitter-happy sister explained to her tweeps: "i. just. wanted. to. be. free. from. the. bondage. that. black. women sometimes. put. on. themselves. with. hair." (Punctuation hers.) And Beyonce says that she turns to her sister, who happens to be a mother, for lessons on life: "She gives me a lot of advice because she's had some life experiences that I've never had." When it comes to you and your siblings, are you mirror images of each other or more like exact opposites?

Oh Snap! Paris Hilton's Dogs Have a Really Ruff Life

TresSugar — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Just when you thought you were done envying Paris Hilton's jet-setting, getting-paid-to-party ways, wait until you see how her pooches Tinkerbell, Marilyn Monroe, Prince Baby Bear, Harajuku, Dolce, and Prada live. Life & Style was invited to see their mini-mansion in Beverly Hills. (Yes, they have their own home.) It's a two-story affair complete with air conditioning, closets, and a crystal chandelier. Cost? Oh, just $325,000. (Hear that sound? It's my palm smacking my forehead in disbelief.)

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Hump Day: I Want to Orgasm Without a Vibrator!

TresSugar — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's new sex advice column! Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

“I'm 22 and have masturbated basically as long as I can remember. It wasn't until getting a vibrator about a year ago that I finally had an orgasm, but I have yet to have an orgasm with my boyfriend without using my vibrator. We've tried missionary, doggy-style, cowgirl, him going down on me - nothing but the vibrator gets me off. I would love to have an orgasm with my boyfriend without the electrical help. Any advice?“ To hear what Dr. Glickman has to say, read more.

Hi,

This is a really common situation - it happens much more often than most people realize. It turns out that some women need to learn how to have an orgasm. Not just in the sense of figuring out what feels good to them, but also in the sense of having their bodies learn how to do it. Fortunately, since you’ve had orgasms with a vibrator, we can probably set aside the different medical reasons that can get in the way.

Most women report that they need some sort of clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, so it’s not a surprise to me that trying different positions hasn’t done the trick. In fact, some women find that the reason that a particular position works for them is that they get clitoral stimulation from their partner’s torso, not because they get deeper penetration. Although you’ve tried lots of different positions, you might find that small things make a big difference - how you position your legs, for example, can have a big effect on how things feel. I can’t say for sure what will work for you since everyone’s a bit different, but one thing you can try is making small adjustments and seeing what that does.

It’s not clear from your question - have you tried using the vibrator while having sex with your boyfriend? For many women, that can be a way to take something that works and connect it with something different. I’ve heard from quite a few women that combining the two for a while eventually made it easier for them to have orgasms without the toy.

You could also try using your vibrator with your boyfriend for a while before shifting to intercourse. The more turned on you get before changing things up, the more likely it is that intercourse will put you over the top. Another option would be for you or your boyfriend to pleasure your clitoris by hand during intercourse. A little bit of lubricant can help with that - I like the silicone-based lubes because they don’t dry out and they’re safe to use with condoms. And if you don’t have an orgasm during intercourse, feel free to grab that vibrator afterwards and enjoy yourself. You can always give it another try next time.

Having said all that, it sounds like you (or you and your boyfriend) might be putting a lot of pressure on the idea of orgasms without a vibrator. Ironically, the more you stress over whether you’ll have an orgasm, the less likely it can be. It’s the female version of performance anxiety creating the very situation you’re trying to keep from happening, just as performance anxiety can lead to erection difficulties for a lot of guys. And in both cases, one of the best ways to respond is to not worry about it. I know that can sound like the line about “don’t think of a pink rhinoceros” but it’s often true that if you can enjoy what you’re doing without getting stuck in the “will it happen this time” loop, you’ll have a lot more fun.

One of the best ways to do that is to do whatever the two of you enjoy without stressing about using a vibrator. If a vibe is what you need at this point in your life to have an orgasm, go for it! It’s really, really likely that you won’t always need it - sexual response changes a lot and you will probably find that in the not-too-distant future, what works for you will be quite different. I’ve spoken with a lot of women who have found that they needed the intensity of a vibrator when they were younger and that when they got a bit older, things were very different. That’s one of the best things about sex: we get to keep trying new things. It’s kind of like food. Your favorite foods will probably also change over time, so you get to try new cuisines. The only thing that’s important is whether you’re enjoying whatever works for you right now.

If you want to do a little reading, there are some books I can highly recommend. I Love Female Orgasm is a fun read that covers pretty much everything - masturbation, partner sex, safer sex, toys, anatomy, and more. There are also lots of useful tips for women in your situation. Orgasms is an excellent guide for folks who want to figure out how to have an orgasm or how to have them more consistently. It’s a great read for partners, too. And Becoming Orgasmic is one of the best on the topic. It’s a bit more text heavy than the first two, but there’s an incredible amount of information there.

So the upshot of all of this is that the more you can relax and enjoy yourself without worrying about whether it’ll happen or not, the more fun you’ll have. And don’t stress about whether there’s something wrong with you - you’re not alone and lots of women have found that practice does, indeed, make perfect. Usually when you least expect it.

Have fun!

Life in Beijing, Olympic Style

LibertySugar — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 07:00:40 -0700

Over 10,000 athletes, hundreds of thousands of fans, and 30,000 journalists have traveled to Beijing for the Olympics. To welcome these visitors, everyday life in the Chinese capital received an Olympic makeover. The Chinese government removed the homeless from the streets, urged smokers to quit, advised bus commuters to wait in line instead of push, installed 40 million plants, cut traffic in half, and even gave residents wardrobe advice. Check out the view from Beijing!

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Ask a Wise Guy: How Do I Get His Ex Out of the Picture?

TresSugar — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. Today, a person who likes to think of himself as a wise guy will offer some common sense advice. You can submit questions here.
Today's Question:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year. Things have been going very well, except for something he can't seem to let go of. Two years ago he and an ex broke up, and ever since he and I started dating she continues to devote attention to him. It never appears to be romantic, but she's always offering to do him favors, asking him to play with her dog, texting/calling/Facebooking. As far as I know, he doesn't respond all that much.

But that's the problem. By not responding, he has not made it clear that there is no room for her in his life now. So the other day I told him that if he wanted to move forward and have a future with me, he needed to make it clear to her that the past is in the past.

He agreed, but now I'm playing a waiting game. I don't want to nag and ask him when he is planning on having this conversation, but I also want to know when it takes place. She has continued to contact him and he continues not to act.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm fighting a losing battle. Could there be a deeper reason he's dragging his feet, or is he just being passive aggressive? Am I crossing a line by putting pressure on him? Or should I be drawing a line, and saying enough is enough?

Signed,

Sick of the Ex. To hear what a wise guy has to say, read more

Dear Sick-of-the-Ex,

Wow, this is a tricky one -in fact, navigating exes is a complicated (but necessary) dance in any relationship. I’m also a little confused about what your boyfriend wants. If he really isn’t responding to her “all that much,” then it seems like the message is pretty clear that he’s not interested in spending time with her - and so the whole situation shouldn’t be a threat to you (and you should back off). On the other hand, if he does sometimes call/text/play with her dog, then it seems that he still wants her to be part of his life, in which case there needs to be a lot more clarity between you and him about what’s OK and what’s not.

Here’s where it gets tricky: if you prefer that he have no contact with the ex, and he wishes to maintain a friendship with her, then one or both of you will have to compromise what you want.

Reading between the lines of your letter, I’m sensing that you don’t feel as secure as you should in the relationship. If you’re feeling threatened by a few phone calls and text messages, then I think there’s something deeper going on here that needs to be addressed head on. I think you should have a heartfelt conversation with him explaining why you’re not happy with the situation (rather than telling him what to do), and then figure out together how to deal with the ex. This seems like a better way to handle the situation than “putting pressure” on him, and giving him ultimatums about your future together. If he really cares for you and respects your feelings, then I’m hopeful that you can come to a solution that works for everyone.

And if that doesn’t work, you should go her house and duke it out Jerry Springer style. Guys like it when chicks fight over them.

All the best,

A Wise Guy

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Has a Relationship Ever Gotten in the Way?

DearSugar — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 11:00:00 -0700

As we said goodbye to the first season of The City last night, we also watched Whitney say goodbye to her boyfriend, Jay. After he broke up with her last week, he decided he made a mistake by letting her go, but it was too little, too late. Whitney realized she was the one who had let herself go in their relationship - focusing too much time and energy on Jay, which was taking away from her career and friendships. I was pretty surprised when she turned him away, but I glad to see her put herself before a man that didn't seem to be all that ready for the relationship.

Having to choose and make sacrifices when it comes to matters of your heart can be incredibly overwhelming, but tell me ladies, has a relationship ever negatively gotten in the way of your career, friendships, or family life?

To get all the fashion from last night's episode, check out our new site, CelebStyle.

Photo courtesy of MTV

America's Leading Lady: Michelle Obama Lands Vogue Cover!

CitizenSugar — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 07:45:13 -0800

Michelle Obama looks stunning on the just-released cover of March Vogue. In the issue, "the first lady the world's been waiting for" opens up about how she plans to live her new life.

On being a mom: I'm going to try to take them to school every morning - as much as I can. But there's also a measure of independence. And obviously there will be times I won't be able to drop them off at all. I like to be a presence in my kids' school. I want to know the teachers; I want to know the other parents.

On her background: We like to joke that the South Side of Chicago is our Kennebunkport. . . . We learned in our household that there was nothing you couldn't talk about and that you found humor in even some of the toughest times. I want to bring that spirit of warmth, openness, and stability to my task.

On her fashion choices: I love clothes. First and foremost, I wear what I love. That's what women have to focus on: what makes them happy and what makes them feel comfortable and beautiful. If I can have any impact, I want women to feel good about themselves and have fun with fashion.

On bringing Sasha and Malia along on trips: I've been grateful that my girls have been able to see parts of the country that I'm just seeing at the age of 44," she says. "It's not only seeing Paris, London, and Rome. It's also the remote places . . . exposing them to what we hope all kids will have: a feeling that they are citizens of the world.

Michelle definitely has style and grace; but she's only the second first lady to ever grace the cover of Vogue (Hillary Clinton appeared in 1998). Take a look at some photos from the upcoming issue!

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