TresSugar

Cute Alert: 10-Year-Old Is Obsessed With Vacuum Cleaners

TresSugar — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Man, I love eccentric kids. And 10-year-old Gregory Evans of Illinois fits that description perfectly. The kid has been fascinated with vacuum cleaners since he was 3!

Gregory loves vacuum cleaners so much his idea of the perfect vacation is to go to the Hoover Museum, and he can tell what make, model, and year a vacuum cleaner is just by listening to it. (I also love that his parents indulge his eccentricity - his father seems totally delighted that his son has such a gender non-normative interest in this homely house-cleaning implement!)

This little dude better be careful when he grows up or he's gonna be snatched up by some lazy woman who never wants to clean. "Oh, hey Gregory," I can hear her say now, "the carpet really needs to be cleaned in the living room, and it's been so long since I've heard the hum of a 1939 Hoover Super Duster. Please be a dear and start one up!" He'd probably be out of that room before she could even finish her sentence.

Go, Gregory!

Ask a High School Principal: I'm Not Sure About Kids

TresSugar — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 08:00:43 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a high school principal offers his advice to a woman hesitant about motherhood. If you want to throw your hat into the ring, you can submit questions here.

This week's question:

I don't know if I want to have any kids. My boyfriend does. He'd like to start a family by the time he's thirty (in about five years). I know I don't want any children at this time. I guess I've always thought I'd have kids eventually. Sometimes I like the idea, but what if the desire for motherhood never really kicks in? I can't have a baby and think, "Oh wait, I don't really want this anymore." I don't want to resent my child, or my husband. How am I supposed to commit totally to a relationship when I don't know if we have the same goals for the future? Should I be worried about this now?

Signed, Confused About Kids

To see the high school principal's answer, read more.

Dear Confused About Kids,

During my 30 years in education I have watched the lives of young people unfold in unique and unexpected ways. While much time has passed since high school, your early twenties are still a formative stage of your life and career. You should feel good about what you are struggling with, for it is a sign of maturity and emotional depth. However, before you jump in and tackle the idea of having children with your boyfriend, you might want to take on a broader discussion of where you are in your relationship.

There are many issues to ponder, so I suggest you do a little homework. And as is true with school, there are fun ways to learn. To further understand each others' intimate thoughts, you could play a game over dinner asking each other questions like, "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?" If either of you are from a large family, chat about how things might have been different if you or he were an only child. You could also ask each other to describe the ideal vacation. If he says it is a two week camping trip in the mountains and you are a sun and sand kind of girl, you better start talking. A little game like this could lead to a deeper discussion about the future and help you both decide if you are meant to live your lives together.

You certainly don’t have to come to a decision now about children, but if you harbor strong feelings on the subject you owe it to your boyfriend to express how you feel; you must come to some understanding before moving forward with your relationship. Good luck!

Signed, A High School Principal

Little Girl Gone Wild - Hilarious or Horrifying?

TresSugar — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 08:30:35 -0700

Darla isn't in school yet, but she's already in training for Spring Break. UPDATE: Though the video has been removed, here's the gist: Her mother - who clearly has a sharp, if somewhat twisted, wit - has trained the toddler to lift up her shirt when mom says "Spring Break." I think it's pretty funny, because it seems unlikely that any mother this edgy could actually raise a future Girl Gone Wild. What do you think?

Princess Culture Might Not Be Healthy For Girls

TresSugar — Tue, 26 May 2009 16:10:00 -0700

I know a very smart, independent, tomboyish 5-year-old who is enthralled by the idea of being a princess. It was Fiona from the Shrek films that got her hooked.

Girls have always loved playing with dolls and pretending they're princesses, but it appears to be crammed down their throats even more now by toy manufacturers and movie studios. There are princess baby clothes, princess-related Barbie items, and the entire Disney Princess franchise, featuring characters from Sleeping Beauty to Mulan. Even tough chick Dora the Explorer wears crowns sometimes!

Many people who are trying to raise nonbratty girls with aspirations beyond being pretty and glamorous worry that selling the princess ethos to girls might be a bad idea. Jean Twenge, an associate professor of psychology at San Diego State and author of The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement, worries as well. She argues, "It just encourages parents who put their kids on a pedestal - and who encourage their kids a lot and rarely criticize."

Twenge and her co-author W. Keith Campbell found that although a study of college-age men and women showed that men in that age group are more likely to exhibit narcissistic traits, the rate at which college-age women were developing narcissistic traits was four times that of the men.

Is the fantasy of being a princess just an inevitable rite of passage for girls? Or would girls be better off heeding, "Do not pass Princess Lane, do not collect crown"?

Source

Where Do You Stand? Marriage and Kids

DearSugar — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 09:00:00 -0700

Deciding when to get married is a personal choice that's different for every couple, but I've been hearing more and more women say that they don't want to marry their significant other until they're ready to start a family. While I understand where they're coming from, I'd personally like to enjoy married life before diving into motherhood. To each her own so tell me, where do you stand on the notion of marriage and kids going hand in hand?

Source

You Asked: I've Fallen Out of Love With My Husband

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I am 37 yrs old, have been married for 15 years and have two children with my husband. My problem is that I haven't been in love with him for years. I have told him that we need to divorce - I left him for a year, but came back due to financial reasons - but he keeps telling me that he loves me and begs me not to leave him. He thinks we can work it out, but I have tried, and faking it is just not working for me anymore. He's a great guy, but I'm absolutely miserable right now.

I know this has been hard on our kids and part of me wants to stay for their sake, but the other part of me desires passion and love again - I want more out of life and I feel like it's passing me by. What should I do? - Wanting to Leave Laura

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Wanting to Leave Laura,

I feel for you that you're struggling in an unhappy marriage right now, but you're right, if you don't make a move here, your life will pass you by. It's a common desire to want to stay for the kids' sake, but remember, you'd only be doing them a disservice - you can't give them what they need if you're unhappy in your own life.

While I'm all for trying to work it out before calling it quits, it sounds as though you've already mentally checked out of your marriage. If couples counseling isn't an option for you, and if you really feel that divorce is the only course of action, I think you should follow your instincts sooner rather than later.

I'm not surprised that faking your happiness isn't working for you anymore so do what you need to do to be truly happy again. This won't be an easy process, but after everything is said and done, I have faith that you'll feel good about the decision you made. Good luck.

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Keep a List of Future Baby Names?

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 10:40:00 -0800

Even if you're single, it's not uncommon to keep a list of names for the kids you might have someday. I know plenty of women and even many men who do this, so be honest: Do you have a baby-name list stashed away somewhere?

Source

True Confession - I'm Afraid of Being Alone

DearSugar — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"I'm 33 with three young children and I hate my husband. I stay with him because I don't want to be alone forever. Who would ever marry someone with three kids? Can I be forgiven for living a lie?"

Source

DearSugar Needs Your Help: He Hates Kids!

DearSugar — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and At a Loss Anna need your help. Though she and her boyfriend share the same feelings about not starting a family in the near future, she's concerned with the way he treats kids overall. Her parents are telling her that his behavior should be a deal breaker, but she's in love! What do you suggest she do?

Dear Sugar,
I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half and things are going great. We share a lot of things in common, including our feelings toward kids. Neither one of us really like, or want a child . . . at least for now. But recently, I've become really upset and turned off by the way he treats my 6-year-old brother. He is cold toward him and gets easily frustrated, even if all my little brother wants to do is sit next to him on the couch. I am starting to get a little concerned about the fact that he cannot even pretend to like children, especially since many of our friends are starting to settle down and eventually, we'll be surrounded by couples with small children. I want him to act accordingly, but I have a feeling he just can't. My parents are starting to pick up on this and have been urging me to date someone else. I am very torn because he is a wonderful person otherwise and I'm totally in love with him. Is this reason enough to end it? If not, what can I do or say to make him change his behavior? - At a Loss Anna

Source

Parents Say No Thanks to Pilgrim and Native American Dress

LibertySugar — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 10:30:55 -0800

If you grew up in America, you probably have memories of dressing up as pilgrims and Native Americans during your classroom Thanksgiving celebration. Well this year children in Claremont, CA, won't be cutting out their construction paper bonnets and headdresses, as some parents have deemed the controversial costumes demeaning.

One parent, also a professor of Native American literature, told the LA Times:

I'm sure you can appreciate the inappropriateness of asking children to dress up like slaves (and kind slave masters), or Jews (and friendly Nazis), or members of any other racial minority group who has struggled in our nation's history.

Still others accuse the historically sensitive parents of using children as a political platform. Has a festive tradition fallen victim to political correctness, or is it time to stop this racist stereotype?