TresSugar

Where Do You Stand: Relationship Karma

DearSugar — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:00:00 -0700

One of my friends has a theory that whatever wrongs you commit in a relationship will come back to haunt you in a future relationship. Essentially, it’s all a matter of karma; if you take every significant other for granted, eventually the person you fall in love with will do the same to you. But don’t worry, according to my friend it works the other way, too.

Honestly, I rolled my eyes while she talked, but afterwards I could think of plenty of examples that would prove her right. As they say, what goes around comes around. So where do you stand when it comes to relationship karma? Are you a believer?

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Sharon Stone Apologizes for "Karma" Remark. But What Is It?

CitizenSugar — Thu, 29 May 2008 08:00:18 -0700

Sharon Stone has become a bit of a Karma Chameleon, and apologized for her statement that the earthquake was China's Karma coming back to haunt them.

She said, "Due to my inappropriate words and acts during the interview, I feel deeply sorry and sad about hurting Chinese people." She's been removed from Dior ads in China following the incident.

Karma is an important concept for Buddhists, Hindus and Sikhs - but what is it exactly? The word translated simply means "action". The doctrine of karma developed and taugh by the Buddha, a spiritual teacher thought to have lived about 2,500 years ago. It simply means, whatever comes into existence does so in response to the conditions at the time, and in turn affects what comes after it. How was Sharon Stone wrong? To find out, read more.

One teacher at the London Buddhist Centre, says that Stone's take on karma is misguidedly common. Her statement was incorrect, pegging an outcome the result of something done in the past, or a past life. The law of karma says the motive behind one's actions actually affects the outcome of that particular act. According to the teacher:

So an intentionally ethical action - for example to promote kindness, generosity, contentment - is more likely to have positive, beneficial consequences. An intentionally unethical one - to promote self-aggrandizement or greed - will be more likely to have unhelpful, even harmful consequences. Unhelpful, that is, for the positive well-being of either the doer or the recipient or both.

Stone might have been ignoring the other factors that Buddhists believe cause events - biological factors like viruses, psychological factors like stress, and environmental factors like the weather.

The Buddhist teacher concludes, "The earthquake in China or the cyclone in Burma have much to do with environmental factors," says Dhammadassin. "To invoke karma is more to do with our desire to nail things down and find someone to blame. But that's not ours to do."

Was her apology enough? Do people in the spotlight have a greater responsibility to understand concepts they speak about publicly?

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Do You Believe in Karma?

DearSugar — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 09:00:08 -0800

In Buddhist tradition, the idea of karma basically means "You get what you give." It's all about your actions and how you treat people. Whatever you do intentionally to others comes back to you in the future. So if you are kind and generous, then good things will happen to you. On the other hand, if you are mean and insensitive to others, then not-so-good things could happen to you. Buddhists also believe in reincarnation, so the actions of your past lives can affect your present and future lives.

The so-called "Golden Rule" follows this same line of thought: Treat others the way you would like to be treated. So I'm wondering: Do you believe in karma? Do you think that how you treat others affects what comes your way?

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Karma's A B*tch

GiggleSugar — Mon, 21 May 2007 04:00:00 -0700

When you have nothing nice to say, take anonymous revenge and then confess in a passive-aggressive letter. Oh, and really emphasize that you're "Sorry!!!"

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Sharon Stone Says Earthquake Was "Karma." Outrageous?

CitizenSugar — Tue, 27 May 2008 00:00:56 -0700

Over the weekend at the Cannes Film Festival, Sharon Stone had the opportunity to tell the world exactly how she felt about the earthquake in China (the death toll from which has just topped 65,000). Here's what Ms. Stone had to say:

"Well, you know, it was very interesting . . . I am unhappy about the way Chinese are treating the Tibetans . . . Then all this earthquake, all this stuff happened, I thought, is that karma? When you are not nice, the bad things happen to you."

While she did reference the Dalai Lama, and seemed like she was trying to make a point, the flippant delivery or the way she sort of smiled while she was saying it begs the question - is it even possible a natural disaster that killed 65,000 people is the result of bad karma? Then highlighting that she'd put her head down and helped out, even though the Chinese aren't "nice to you," makes one wonder - does Sharon Stone have a point or is she creating a little karma of her own?

She Said It, We Didn't

GiggleSugar — Tue, 27 May 2008 15:17:37 -0700

"They're not being nice to the Dalai Lama, who is a good friend of mine. And then the earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma?" - Sharon "Heart and Brain of" Stone on why an earthquake in China, which has already killed over 67,000 people, happened. Yes, Sharon, that's why it happened. Because karma gets pissed when anything bad happens to a good friend of yours (the major distinguishing characteristic of the Dalai Lama, of course).

Karma's A Bit*h

DearSugar — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 08:58:45 -0800

Dear Sugar
After 4 years together, my boyfriend broke up with me. It seemed very random and unexpected, but instead of taking the "psycho" route, I actually let it go pretty easily. I've just found out, the reason for our break up was because of another woman. He cheated on me with a childhood friend of his. So now that I know the truth, I am angry and I want him to know that I know. But is it worth it, or should I just let karma take its course? Vengeful Victoria

Dear Vengeful Victoria
It sucks and it hurts, but try and rise above your anger and let this one go. What good could possibly come from confronting him now? You broke up a month and a half ago. You are better off taking care of yourself and trying to channel your anger into something positive. Moving on is the best thing for you. If he's dating someone else - it's time that you get out there too!

Chelsea Handler Dishes With TrèsSugar

TresSugar — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 07:00:00 -0700

"TrèsSugar: Describe your ideal man.
Chelsea Handler: Someone who gets the joke.
TrèsSugar: Do you think you’ll ever find him?
Chelsea Handler: Probably not."

Comedian, writer, talk show host - triple threat Chelsea Handler does it all. The host of Chelsea Lately on E! Entertainment agreed to answer our burning questions on everything from whether or not she’s a feminist to what her weirdest wedding moment was. To check out the exclusive TrèsSugar interview, read more

TrèsSugar: Hi, Chelsea! I busted a gut reading My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands and I think Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea might be one of the most brilliant titles for a book ever. I love how you seem like the rare woman - gorgeous, and not trading on that but rather on your wit and subverting “proper” female behavior. Thanks for answering our questions!
Chelsea Handler: Well, thank you very much.

TS (I realize I kinda ambushed her here!): Are you a feminist?
CH: I feel like focusing on the idea of feminism is saying that we haven't achieved it yet. I believe in behaving at a level and having people meet you at a level that says: I'm a very highly functioning woman.

TS: Christopher Hitchens infamously said that only women who are fat, unattractive, Jewish or lesbian can be funny. How would you respond to him if you could?
CH: Well, I am half-Jewish, so he must have been right.

TS: Do you think humor for women is a defense mechanism, a survival skill? In your case, why did you think you became so funny?
CH: I think people are born the way they are born, and circumstances either add or take away from who you are deep down. I love to laugh, and in turn, love when I can make other people laugh.

TS: What in your past laid the groundwork for the way you see the world?
CH: Probably my father's 10 used cars that were in our driveway my entire life. I would say it was the opposite of rose-colored glasses.

TS: Who are your comic influences and heroes?
CH: I never intended on being a comedian, so it would be dishonest to say that I was
really influenced by anyone other than the idea of expressing my opinions. My brothers, sisters, and parents were definitely the biggest influences in my life.

TS: What’s a typical Chelsea Friday night?
CH: Dinner with friends usually at my house and a plethora of cocktails before, during, and after.

TS: Describe your ideal man. Do you think you’ll ever find him?
CH: Someone who gets the joke. Probably not.

TS: What was the weirdest wedding you ever went to?
CH: The one where the bride was smoking a cigarette in her wedding gown. That was pretty magnificent.

TS: What’s your biggest deal breaker in relationships?
CH:I usually don't break up with guys, I wait for them to break up with me.

TS: What’s your biggest piece of advice to today’s woman?

CH: Be ambitious for not only yourself, but also for the people around you, be generous, and be forthright. Karma is real, and it will reward you if you are doing the same for others.

TrèsSugar: Thanks, Chelsea!

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This Week With DearSugar

DearSugar — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 04:00:00 -0700

Ever heard of the A-spot? If not, you might be surprised by what it stands for!
Are you into reading romance novels?
Do you believe in relationship karma?
What do pregnancy dreams mean?
Insecure Indy needs to know if her boyfriend is trying to tell her something by buying an apartment without her. What do you think?
Why do you think people still engage in unsafe sex?
What did summer camp mean to you?
If you meet someone new this weekend, check out my tips on how to avoid the phone obsession while you wait for his call!
Do you think it's a good idea or a bad idea to merge all your money after getting married?
Be honest - do you ever lie about your age?
Do you know everything there is to know about pregnancy tests? Take this quiz and find out!
What should you do with the ring after a broken engagement?
What was your curfew growing up?
Is your significant other set in his mother's ways?

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Punishment vs. Human Rights - Are Prisons Going Soft?

CitizenSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 08:00:08 -0700

Though I don't know of many prisons guarded by the likes of the two pictured below, with the changes happening to crime and punishment in the US, it might not be long. With one out of every 100 Americans behind bars, and prisons turning criminals out to meet their budgets, the debate between what's a human right, and what liberties need be taken away as punishment is a tricky one. Several states have just come to some conclusions - on the side of rights.

In New York's juvenile detention centers, transgender youth are now allowed to wear whatever gendered-uniform they associate with and be called by whatever name they request, as well as receive access to special housing under a new anti-discrimination policy. The enhanced rights are drawing praise from advocacy groups. A spokesman for Governor Paterson said the policy reflects the state's intent to be "tolerant, responsive and respectful" of gender identity and gender expression issues.

Hawaii and California join New York among the small list of states that have taken steps to afford specific civil rights protection to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth in juvenile detention. This comes after a 2001 report found that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth routinely experienced discrimination, harassment and violence in New York's juvenile justice system.

Got Milk? To find out what happens if you're a vegan behind bars, read more.

In Massachusetts a federal judge found that the state prison system violated one prisoner's civil rights by denying him a vegan diet. Though the prison system had offered the man a standard vegetarian diet, he has spent nearly a decade seeking a ruling to receive a vegan diet that excludes all animal products, including eggs and milk products.

His reasoning to require the diet? He's a Buddhist (now) and had a religion specialist testify "explain[ing] why it was wrong to consume food derived from animals and explain[ing] the concept of karma and suffering." Why is the man in prison? He beat his 5-week-old son to death by throwing him onto a hardwood floor, repeatedly stomping on and kicking him, before turning his violence on the his child's mother. He may need more than soy milk to atone for that karmic digression.

Rights are returning after prison in Florida, where Governor Crist announced this week that more than 115,000 felons are to regain their voting rights. The expansion of prison rights might come as a comfort to two California high school students who are facing 69 felony counts for hacking into their school's computer system to change their grades. One of the hackers could face 38 years behind bars. An extra-credit report or two might have been a better solution?

What responsibility do prisons have to cater to human rights? Where do rights stop and punishment begin?

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