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The How-To Lounge: Sending Wedding Invitations

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Once the save the dates have been mailed, it's time to get your wedding invitations ordered. Even if you aren't having a fancy affair, your guests need to know the date, time, location, and formality of your big day. Of course there are no rules when it comes to your invite, but to see some of the traditions to consider, read more.

Wedding invitations are usually sent out at least six to eight weeks before the wedding date and even earlier for destination weddings.
The style of the invitation will set the tone of the overall theme of your wedding day, so choose your invites accordingly. While most wedding invitations are a bit fancier than the save the date cards, that's by no means a strict rule.
Most invitations are written in the third person. Dates, times, and streets are typically spelled out, and no punctuation is used to finish a statement.
When writing out the invitation, make sure to add all the names of the people hosting the wedding. For example, if the bride's family is hosting, the invitation should read, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. James Roberts request the honor of your presence." If the mother and father of the bride are divorced but both contributing, both names should be present. If both the bride's and groom's families are contributing, all names should be listed, and if the bride and groom are hosting their own wedding, their full names should be written out - e.g., "Katie Anne Smith and Jacob Allen Lee request the pleasure of your company at their marriage."
Inviting guests to bring a date is completely discretionary if they are not living together or married - many people firmly believe in the "no ring no bring" policy. The size of your venue and any monetary constraints will play a big role in making your decisions but tread lightly because you don't want anyone to have hurt feelings.
When addressing wedding envelopes, remember to use the proper title - Mr., Mrs., Miss, Dr., etc. Address the invite to married couples as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, single couples with a guest as Mr. John Smith and Guest, and unmarried couples living together as Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Johnson.
In addition to adding your stamped response card in with your wedding invitation, remember to include any driving directions or additional wedding day information in the envelope as well.

Found! A Wedding Invitation

GiggleSugar — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 15:00:00 -0800

After the annulment, we should hook up the "cheap two-bit tramp" with that "sorry, no count worthless, shiftless John Patterson." They might hit it off.

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The How-To Lounge: Declining an Invitation

DearSugar — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 08:00:00 -0800

Sometimes you just don't want to go to happy hour with a friend or to a co-worker's housewarming party. Maybe the location is inconvenient or perhaps you just don't feel like making the effort, either way, all you want to do is refuse. Unfortunately most of us end up going anyway because we just can't say "no." Guilt and obligation can be brutal, but it's important to learn how to politely decline invitations, otherwise you can really run yourself ragged and end up resenting your friends. To get some great tips, read more

First of all, let the person know that you won't be going. It's far less rude to say no then to just not respond at all.
Give as much notice as possible. It's far better to be the first to decline than the tenth.
If you decline, try to make an effort to attend your friend's next invitation. If the issue of not going gets pressed, acknowledge her disappointment but don't dwell on it.
If the invitation is for a formal event like an engagement party or shower, it's a nice gesture to send a gift if you won't be attending. I don't personally love this particular bit of etiquette, but it will show the invitee that you were thinking of them even though you weren't there.
If you were planning on going, but at the last minute had a change of heart or weren't feeling up for it, it's okay to say so. I've done so before, and though your friends will be bummed out, they'll usually understand.
In some cases backing out at the last minute will result in a serious tongue lashing - we all have those friends, so sometimes a little white lie is in order. Your friends, family, and coworkers will notice if you start to make a habit of this, only do this in cases of desperation!

What are your tips when it comes to declining an invitation? Please share them in the comments section below.

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Awkward! Not Sure About Inviting Boyfriend to Thanksgiving

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 07:00:00 -0800

Since the Holiday season can be rich with awkward moments, a friend of mine is trying to sort out a relationship dilemma before Thanksgiving arrives. Read her story, and see if you can offer her any advice.

"My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months. Thanksgiving is coming up and I will be going to my parent's house, which is about two hours away from where I live now, for the weekend. Each year my extended family and I celebrate Thanksgiving at my aunt's house, which is right near my parent's. Since my boyfriend's family lives really far away, I would love to invite him to come. My only concern is that it might be overwhelming for him. He's met my parents when they came to visit, but this would involve staying at their house, not to mention meeting all my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Then again, it seems like a natural step in our relationship. Should I ask him to come along, or is it putting too much pressure on him?"

(By the way - if you have some awkward tales of your own, join our Awkward! group to share etiquette questions and stories with other readers.)

Product of the Day: Bachelorette Party Invitations

GiggleSugar — Mon, 12 May 2008 00:02:00 -0700

Bachelor and bachelorette parties are so odd to me. Some of them seem to undermine the symbolism of the romantic gesture of getting married. Like, how does having a stripper grind on you during a lap dance signify that you're ready to walk down the aisle with your sweetie? And how does telling your friends you finally picked a pr*ck bode well for your upcoming nuptials? (Yeah, I know. I need to lighten up.)

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Awkward! My Date Invited a Friend to Our Date

TresSugar — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Thanks to a reader with an issue (sorry, reader!), we have an awkward scenario requiring your advice. (Interested in this subject? Join our Awkward! group to share etiquette questions and stories with other readers.)

"I've had a crush on this guy for a while, and I haven't been able to tell if we're just friends, or if it's headed in a romantic direction (which is where I want it to go). We went out for drinks one night, and something seemed to have shifted. Maybe it was my imagination, but I felt like we were both really flirting with each other. I thought it was confirmed when he invited me to the movies the next weekend. So imagine my surprise when I get to the theater, and he's there with another friend - a girl! I really thought we were on a date. Now I don't know how to behave around him. Should I just chalk this up to a miscommunication and move on?"

Awkward! I Invited a Stranger to Visit

TresSugar — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 09:00:00 -0700

We love sharing awkward situations around here so you can all weigh in with some advice! Join our Awkward! group to share etiquette questions and stories with other readers.

Today, I want to share an uncomfortable situation my friend finds herself in:

When visiting my boyfriend's hometown, we went to his friend's party. I got to talking to another guest and he confided in me that his wife had just left him for another man. He had been with his wife since he was 18, so I started telling him that he should enjoy the things he couldn't do while he was in a relationship. He said he felt like traveling, and I said: "Oh! You should totally visit San Francisco, where I live." Fueled by a couple glasses of wine, I went on and on about how nice it is in my city, hoping to convince him that a little travel would do him well. I didn't really think I was inviting him to stay with my boyfriend and me. Well the next day he sent me a long message on Facebook asking when would be a good time for him to come stay with us in SF! He's not really a friend of my boyfriend, although they have a mutual friend, and I only met him at that one party! I have no idea if I should just be friendly and let him stay, or tell him that I'm really busy for the next few months.

What would you do?

William Shatner Is Back For Some More Wasilla Poetry

TresSugar — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:20:00 -0800

As you all know, I've been following the prolific tweeting of Levi Johnston (or the person who pretends to be Levi Johnston!). His 140-character musings are sometimes offensive, sometimes funny, and consistently random. You might also remember that master of spoken word recitation William Shatner went on Conan O'Brien's show a while back to read Sarah Palin's Twitter poetry. Well in an effort to be fair, Conan invited Shatner back - but this time to read Levi's tweets. Check out the video and tell me who should take the crown of Alaska's most poetic twitterer?

Ask an Older Woman: Help! My Friend's With a Married Man

TresSugar — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's question: One of my good friends has been seeing a married man for about a year. He also just happens to be her boss. When we get together, she bombards me with the details of their relationship. He tells her he's never been happier, and that he'll leave his wife for her soon (yeah, we've heard that one before!) and she seems to believe him. My problem with this whole thing is that not only am I sick of listening to her, and of course could tell her so, but I've lost respect for her. Is it wrong to break up with a friend who's doing things I find morally reprehensible? Is there anything I can do to get through to her that what she is doing is horrible for her, not to mention this man's wife?

Signed, Confused Friend.

To hear what an older woman has to say, read more
Dear Confused Friend,

Ahh, the folly of youth. For every bad relationship I bored my friends with, I in turn listened to details about men (or women) they were with who didn't deserve them. It's part of being a friend.

My best advice to you is to be honest with your friend. You don't mention if you've told her how you feel, or if you did, how she reacted. If you haven't, now is the time to start. Tell her you care about her, but you think that contributing to cheating is morally messed up, and that in the end she's probably just going to get hurt. (I guess "the other woman" sometimes ends up with the guy, but who wants to end up with a cheater?) Also, sleeping with your married boss? Pretty dumb. Do other people in her office know? This is not good for her professional life either. I'd tell her that, too, although it's hard to imagine an adult who doesn't know this.

If you really like this friend and this is the only thing she's done that makes you question her character, ride it out and hope she comes to her senses. There's only so much advice we can give people. If you've told her how you feel and she continues with this affair, that's her decision. If she steers you toward this topic when you hang out, just let her know you don't feel comfortable listening to it anymore.

Sometimes, though, if friends do sketchy things, those acts are a window into the rest of their sketchy selves. I had a friend who not only cheated on her husband once, but throughout their marriage, and I began to notice that her behavior towards him mirrored her behavior towards me and everyone else. She was selfish, narcissistic and unable to ever admit fault. We'd had fun partying together when we were younger, but as we grew older, I realized I needed to respect my friends. After a blowout fight when she said horrible things to me, I took it as my cue to get out, and I dumped her.

You're in a tricky situation, but honesty is the best policy. If you can't be honest with her, maybe you aren't really great friends to begin with, in which case slowly turning down her invitations to hang out and discuss him should send her a message. Good luck!

Awkward! Destination Wedding Invitee Wants to Invite Friend

TresSugar — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 08:30:00 -0700

Thanks to a reader with an issue (sorry, reader!), we have an awkward scenario for you that she needs you to weigh in on.

"I have been invited to a destination wedding in Mexico. The bride has graciously invited me plus a guest. The problem is that I am not currently dating anyone and I am not really comfortable inviting any of my male friends. I may know some of the other guests, as I went to college with the bride, but I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't. While I'm not opposed to traveling alone, I feel the whole trip would be more enjoyable if I had someone with me. Can I bring a platonic girlfriend to the wedding or is that misusing the privilege of being invited with a guest? Is it appropriate to ask the bride?"

Source: IMDB