TresSugar

Intimacy Device Helps Long-Distance Couples See the Love

TresSugar — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 11:43:34 -0700

No, not that kind of intimacy device; this one has glimmers of science fiction. But if you're in a long-distance relationship, some British researchers want to help you get more intimate with your partner. A new invention, dubbed Mutsugoto, allows couples to "communicate intimacy" by drawing with lights on each other's bodies. Sounds hot!

The device promises to go beyond phone calls and email by allowing people to "communicate through the language of touch as expressed on the canvas of the human body." But it's not as simple as reaching out and touching someone.

Here's how it works: couples wear touch-activated rings on their bodies, and a camera mounted above the bed reads the rings. When one person moves the rings over her body, the strokes are transmitted and projected as light on the partner's far-away body. When the strokes cross, the lines change color.

This device might be a creative way for long-distance couples to break their routines of communication, but video chats still sound a lot more practical to me. To see a video demonstration, read more.

Mutsugoto from Distance Lab on Vimeo.

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Dear Poll: Do You Look For Romance or Friendship?

DearSugar — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 07:30:00 -0700

In order to have a long-lasting relationship, it's important to share love, trust, romance, intimacy, friendship, and most of all, attraction with your significant other. But since so many relationships end in divorce, you have to really think about what matters to you before committing to a lifelong union. Some people say it's friendship that makes a relationship work, but other say it's intimacy; which do you desire most?

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You Asked: His Libido Is Too Much For Me!

DearSugar — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 12:30:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend loves giving me oral sex. It's gotten to the point where he's like obsessed with it, and while I love him and thoroughly enjoy being intimate with him, I don't want oral sex everyday of my life! He actually got mad at me once because I told him no - I just wasn't in the mood for anything sexual - and he pouted the entire night. How do I make him understand that it's not just about what he wants without hurting his feelings or giving him the wrong impression? - Not on the Same Page Penny

To see DearSugar's answer read more.

Dear Not on the Same Page Penny,

While some women complain that they don't get enough sex, I hear you when you say that oral sex everyday is just a bit much! Clearly you two need to communicate your needs and desires because it sounds like you're on two different pages here. Sex is a great way to deepen your connection and share love with one another, but there are many other ways to experience that same kind of connectedness.

Talking about sex can be very intimating so be mindful of how you approach the subject. Make sure to touch upon the positives, reiterate how you feel about him, but also explain your desire to make sex special, not just something to cross off your daily checklist. Hopefully after a good heart to heart, you'll be able to set some new boundaries so you both can be happy and sexually satisfied. Good luck!

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6 Fun Things to Do in Bed (With Your Clothes On!)

DearSugar — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 06:00:00 -0800

I definitely associate the bed and bedroom with intimacy, but the comfy place where you usually get it on doesn't just have to be about passion and arousal. Here's a list of fun things you can do with your significant other that don't require you to strip down to your birthday suit.

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Handle This: He's More Interested in Porn

DearSugar — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:00:00 -0700

In the past few months your sex life has all but dried up. You’re always trying to initiate things, and you’ve even gone so far as to buy sexy new lingerie, but nothing seems to get your boyfriend interested. When you ask him about it, he says he’s sleep deprived and stressed out.

One night you wake up and realize he’s no longer in bed. Following sounds coming from the living room, you peek in to find him masturbating to porn on his computer, when you haven't had sex in a month! How would you handle this?

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Do Tell: Do Certain Seasons Make You More in the Mood?

DearSugar — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 13:30:00 -0700

Don't you just love Fall? It's such a cozy time of year, full of fleece coats, sipping hot cups of cider, and afternoon outings pumpkin picking. Long walks admiring the warm colored leaves and crisp air give hints that Winter holiday celebrations are on their way. If you're in a relationship, all these pleasant feelings can make you fall in love all over again.

Other seasons can have this same effect on your mood and how you feel about the people in your life. So I'm wondering if certain seasons make you more in the mood for love and intimacy than others. Do you have a favorite season that you look forward to every year that encourages feelings of love, or is it the change in seasons that inspires passion for you?

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Can You Be Too Intimate?

DearSugar — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Intimacy is a relationship necessity, but is there such a thing as too much intimacy? This is something I consistently debate with my girlfriends, which is why I was so glad to see it broached by Jake of Married Jake, one of Glamour's love and sex blogs.

Jake was confounded when his new wife asked him not to pee in front of her anymore. Her rationale is that now that they're in it for the long haul, they need to actually try and maintain the mystery. Certainly, the longevity of a serious relationship can allow people to get too comfortable, but once you've hit a certain level of intimacy, I'm not sure it's possible to just go back.

Instead, I'd recommend embracing your established level of familiarity but throw in an element of surprise. Develop that closeness in a new context - go on a trip or try playing out a sexual fantasy. I suppose this means I'm all for intimacy - though of course I think privacy, personal space, and alone time are important too - but what do you all think? Like Jake's wife thinks, is it possible to be too intimate? And if so, how do you maintain the mystery?

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Where Do You Stand? Sleeping Together, Literally

DearSugar — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700

When we talk dating, there's a lot to say about first times - having sex, saying I love you, and even meeting the parents. It makes sense since those are all significant steps in a relationship and mark deepening intimacy. So what about lying down in bed with one another and going to sleep?

I know some may not agree, but in my opinion, the act of sleeping with each other is incredibly intimate. Like sex and saying "I love you," waking up next to someone in the morning can run the gamut between incredibly satisfying and panic inducing. Thus, I treat this “first” just as seriously as the others. But what do you think? Am I making too big of a deal? Where do you stand when it comes to just sleeping together?

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Just Do It?

DearSugar — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

While perusing the local book store, I came upon this book called Just Do It. The subtitle says "How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives For 101 Days (No Excuses!)." Wow is all I could think. Sure, most couples have sex every day in the first month or so, but after that, it happens more like a couple times a week! It's a known fact that life gets in the way of sex but it seems like the middle-aged couple in this book weren't willing to stand for it anymore. They made a pact to have sex every day for 101 days straight, no matter what.

I'm in awe that any couple would try this sort of experiment as a way to rekindle their love. Do you think you and your partner could ever commit to this type of sexathon? Would agreeing to get it on every single day for over three months prove to be beneficial to your relationship, or do you think it would turn sex and intimacy into a chore?

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Go On and Get Intimate - It's Good For Your Heart

DearSugar — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

I know you like to kiss and make out because it's an expression of how much you care about someone (and it feels good too!), but getting intimate can also be good for your heart and your health. I wouldn't equate it with going for a run, but things you do with your partner are definitely considered exercise. Remember that anything that uses your muscles or burns calories makes you strong and keeps your weight down, but intimacy is also good for your cardiovascular system because it gets your heart pumping. So the next time you just feel like sitting on the couch with your man, here's some motivation to get busy! Check out how many calories these loving activities burn per half hour. Calculations are based on a 130-pound woman.

Activity	Calories Burned
Dancing	89
Making out/foreplay	43
Having sex	125
Taking a cat nap together	27

If you want to see the others then read more

Activity	Calories Burned
Skinny dipping	179
Taking a romantic paddleboat ride	117
Leisurely walking through the woods	82
Giving your partner a massage	124
Partner Yoga	133

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