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A Mime For the Modern Age
Most mimes are partial to clown paint and head-to-toe black attire. But this guy opts for red leather and lots of studded bracelets, and his miming style borrows inspiration from the robot dance. So how is it done, you may ask?
Flashback: '80s Chuck E. Cheese Training Vid
Back in the day, the Chuck E. Cheese restaurant chain took itself seriously. Way seriously.
Flashback: 1947 Guide to Popularity
In 1947, achieving social acceptance was top priority. But if popularity involved stepping into Pleasantville and conforming to the robotic freakshow below, then I'd rather hang out with that "weirdo" who spends her time in parked cars with boys night after night. At least that girl gets to have her fun and keep Mom's brownies to herself too.
Bicycle Safety Sam is an Attention Wh*re
The following are the ending credits of a bicycle safety video for children. I don't know who Sam is, but I know he's got a helmet and he ain't afraid to wear it on his way home, bike or no bike. He also has a funny way of making an exit.
GoodVibes.com: A Website All Women Need to Know
Just because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean you shouldn't satisfy your needs and urges, if you know what I mean!
A lot of women swear by their vibrators, but some are too intimidated to set foot in one of those tacky and vulgar sex toy shops. If you aren't lucky enough to attend a sex toy party, you can always turn to GoodVibes.com.
Flashback: Carlton Breaks It Down
Before embracing his inner Carlton, Alfonso Ribeiro danced with Michael Jackson in a Pepsi commercial and made instructional break dancing videos. Even with bad ass moves like "The King Tut" and "The Centipede," he still had to jack down the price and throw in everything but the kitchen sink to make a sell. Hey, he managed to score an annoying role on a popular TV sitcom...
Eligible Bachelor Du Jour Can Booty-Drop
Ryan here has taken it upon himself to teach us the proper way to booty-drop. It's a need-to-know skill in his circle and everyone at his one person party thinks he's the baddest booty bouncer around-- so obvs, he's the go-to guy for lessons. But don't take my word for it, take the tutorial and see for yourself.
MTV's Little Life Lessons
MTV isn't merely music television. It's the home of reality television, sweet sixteen television, dating someone's mom television, pimp my ride television, and total request television. Although they provide all this quality programming, MTV realized that a few important life lessons were getting lost in the shuffle, hence their socially conscious decision to air this series of instructional commercials.
Would You Shake His Hand?
It baffled me at first why anyone would consider Captain Underpants qualified enough to teach our children how to do anything, and then it hit me: if he can get away with wearing nothing but a red cape and those tighty-whities in public, then he can probably get away with most anything. The question is: can he get you to shake his hand? (Think long and hard on this one.)
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Peaches 'N Wet Dreams
I'm not sure "The Pick Up Artist" is gonna do much for the social lives of these losers. I mean, they're on TV and all, which may result in five seconds of local celebrity fame for them while the show's still airing, but after that, they have to live this sort of embarrassment down-- a not so peachy prospect, if you ask me. Kissing their own hands would have been more dignified.
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