TresSugar

He Kissed a Cat...

GiggleSugar — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 04:00:00 -0800

And he liked it. Well, who the hell wouldn't? Apologies for this guy's nasally, awful singing, but he cracks me up.

Katy Perry Falls, and Falls, and Falls Again

GiggleSugar — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700

"I Kissed a Girl" singer Katy Perry recently discovered that you can't ~~have your cake and eat it, too~~ dive into a giant pink cake on a slick stage and expect not to fall once you get up covered in icing. Again, I must ask, why are falling people so amusing? Oh, yeah. I'm immature.

Do, Dump, or Marry? Adam Lambert

TresSugar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 09:00:00 -0700

I was dragged kicking and screaming to the Atlantic City leg of the American Idols tour over the summer, but once Adam Lambert started singing, I stopped complaining. Elvis by way of David Bowie for the 20-something set, Lambert is the real deal. This guy was smokin' - as a singer, an entertainer, and as a sex symbol.

Adam described his shoot for Details magazine as "heterosexual," and with all the sexy Adam-on-girl poses, I see what he means. "I am gay," he says, "but I like kissing women sometimes. Women are pretty. It doesn't mean I'm necessarily sleeping with them."

Since we all have about as much chance of sleeping with Cristiano Ronaldo or Clive Owen, why not play this game with Adam?

Ask a Gay Woman: I'm Bisexual - How Do I Come Out?

TresSugar — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 16:00:00 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

This week, an out and proud gay woman helps a 16-year-old girl figure out how to come out. After you read her answer, be sure to check out TrèsSugar's Lesbian and Bisexual Support Group in the community, as well as TrèsSugar's Group Therapy group where I found this question.

Today's question: "I'm a 16-year-old girl who's currently in a relationship with a boy. I'm taking college classes along with my high school ones, and I have poetry that's published. People tell me everyday that I'm gorgeous and absolutely amazing. My downfall? If they knew I was bisexual, I would be alone. I've come out to three of my gay friends, but that's it. I was voted most optimistic for favorites, but people don't know how really miserable I am. I'm in love with a girl, and I want to give myself to her completely. To kiss her, to hold her. But I don't want to be hidden, and I don't want to lose everything I have. HELP ME, I'M BEGGING. Signed, Tormented."

To hear what a gay woman has to say, read more.

Dear Tormented,

I know what you are going through is hard and scary. When I was growing up I felt very confused about the intense feelings I had for other girls, and I couldn't even admit to myself that I was bi or gay, let alone anyone else. So first and foremost I just want to say that you are very strong and brave to admit these feelings to yourself and reach out. Please don't take your fear as a sign that you can't handle this - if you couldn't handle it I think you would have buried it way down and not even bring it up as a possibility. There are a few different things about your worries that I want to address:

First, before you decide how to handle your feelings about this other girl, you have to figure out your feelings for your boyfriend. Do you really want to be with him? Or are you just being with him because it is safe and simple? It is too hard to figure out how you are feeling about your sexuality and the girl you say you are in love with if it is all wrapped up with shame and secrecy about possibly cheating on the person you are dating. If you know deep down that it is someone else and not him you want to be with, then break up with him. You don't have to tell him all the details of why you are ending it - just that it isn't working for you right now. Then you can have some space and time to think through the issue of your bisexuality without the anxiety of betrayal.

Secondly, I am not sure exactly what kind of community and family you are living in, so it is hard for me to address how real your concerns are that you will lose "everything." It sounds like you have some gay friends, which means people are out in your community and you have some support, so I think you should consider that maybe after the initial shock this wouldn't be as devastating as you think. Definitely it is still not the total norm, but living in fear that you won't be accepted is making you miserable, so I am not sure that finding out that certain people will be fine with it and others won't be could be that much worse. But I think you need to talk to some people you trust to help you figure out how to best handle your specific situation. If there is a gay and lesbian community center in your town you could get some confidential advice from someone. There are also some good websites: Sex Etc. (a website about sex run by and for teens) and this Planned Parenthood teen talk blog.

The most important thing is to know that you are absolutely not alone with this, that a lot of people go through this, that you will be OK, and that there is a lot of support for you out there.

Signed,

A Gay Woman

More Kids Are Coming Out in Middle School

TresSugar — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:00:00 -0700

The middle-school version of ourselves probably had a blurry idea of the adults we would become, but some kids are proving that we knew a lot more about our identities than we thought. With no doubt about who they are attracted to, more and more kids are coming out as gay or bisexual before they make it to high school.

An article in this weekend's New York Times Magazine examines the trend and reveals that many of these kid are coming out before they've ever dated or kissed anyone of either sex. They just know they don't want to date the opposite sex.

The piece profiles Austin, a gay 13-year-old from Oklahoma. To hear what Austin thinks about tweens and teens coming out and the reactions they get, read more.

Austin's experience went something like this:

Austin doesn’t have to play "the pretend game," as he calls it, anymore. At his middle school, he has come out to his close friends, who have been supportive. A few of his female friends responded that they were bisexual. "Half the girls I know are bisexual,” he said. He hadn’t planned on coming out to his mom yet, but she found out a week before the dance. “I told my cousin, my cousin told this other girl, she told her mother, her mother told my mom and then my mom told me," Austin explained. "The only person who really has a problem with it is my older sister, who keeps saying: 'It’s just a phase! It’s just a phase!'"

"It's just a phase" is probably a common reaction to the idea of middle schoolers coming out. But since we would never question a heterosexual adolescent who announces that he or she likes the opposite sex, should we question those who say they're attracted to the same sex? What do you make of all this?

Say What? Megan Fox Thinks Kissing Girls Feels Safer

TresSugar — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:03:57 -0700

"I feel much safer with girls, so I felt more comfortable kissing her in the movie than kissing any of the other people that I had to kiss."

- Megan Fox on her same-sex kiss with Amanda Seyfried in the upcoming Diablo Cody-directed horror-comedy flick Jennifer's Body. It's not the first time Megan has expressed her love for the ladies. To watch Miss Hottie say it herself in a video, read more.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

i kissed my best girl friend and its left me wanting more

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 16:00:00 -0700

I am 20. I have always had lesbian fantasies but I am in a stable relationship with I man that I truly love and am more than happy. Last month I visited my best friend of 5 years. We went on a night out and she kissed me. I was really shocked but didn't stop her from doing it. The next day she apologised and we laughed it off. Last weekend I went to visit her and while we were out, she asked me to follow her to some where quiet, when I asked why, she said because she wanted to snog me. Although the whole situation felt unreal I couldn't stop myself from going along with it. We ended up kissing passionately all night. It even went as far as her taking my hand and placing it on her breast. The next day, she started laughing about it so I did too. I'm really confused and I don't know what to do now. I'm just really not sure what I feel any more...

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here

Is Oral Sex the New Kiss . . . and Prostitution the New Fear?

TresSugar — Fri, 29 May 2009 04:00:00 -0700

There's always a new study, book, or movie to tell us how fast kids grow up, but Oral Sex Is the New Goodnight Kiss (both a book and a documentary) takes it to a whole new level. Some girls, it seems, are causally consenting to prostitution.

Canadian filmmaker Sharlene Azam worked with teenage girls from ages 13 to 15 for four years in order to gain their trust, and they did not hold back once they started talking.

While the idea that oral sex is commonplace is not earth shattering, the girls said it was basically expected at the end of the date. Why? It's quick, easy, and doesn't take up much space. (Umm, OK.) But things get more shocking when they talk about stripping and exchanging sexual favors for a few dollars, new clothes, or the "privilege" to hang out with a certain crowd, especially guys.

The film stresses that the girls are all from upper-middle class families in suburban Canada, and one teen adds "I had a really, really, really good childhood." In fact, Azam says, the girls most at risk are the prettiest and from the most successful families. And, they're recruited by their friends who tell them about the benefits. Yikes!

Good Morning America asked several American teenagers to watch the film and talk about it yesterday. While accepting money in exchange for sex seems to be news to them, they confirm the pressure to keep a boyfriend is intense. Their identity is wrapped up in who they're dating, and most girls, they said, would do "anything" to keep a boyfriend.

To watch a clip from the documentary, read more.

Word du Jour: Fauxmosexual

TresSugar — Thu, 28 May 2009 06:00:00 -0700

When discussing fauxmosexuals, or people who feign gayness but are in fact straight, 99 percent of the time, you're talking about women.

First off, there's the taboo against male-on-male love, so it'll be a cold day in hell when we start seeing a slew of straight men pretending to be gay! (They still have to worry about getting gay-bashed, remember.)

In contrast, some straight women see a cultural payoff in acting gay. (I'm referring to your straight Girls Gone Wild-types kissing to turn on frat guys or celesbians trying to get press.)

I don't think bisexual women or women who are briefly with other women and then date men again are fauxmosexuals. Seriously, how straight could you be if you had a sexual relationship, however brief, with a woman?

(Thanks to spacekatgal for introducing me to this word on this thread.)

E. Jean Is Back, Offering Advice to a Woman Who Hates Her Man's Scent!

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 09:00:00 -0700

Dear E. Jean,

I'm a lawyer who is seeing a kind, generous, sweet, gainfully-employed man. But in conversations with friends, I refer to him as a "smothering barnacle." I also actively avoid kissing him, can’t stand the way he smells, and his baby kisses on my forehead make me want to scratch his eyes out.

I'm almost 37, never been married, and he is a great guy, but he smells so bad (to me) that I can’t bear to be near him, though he'd probably smell irresistible to some other gal who actually loved him. Do I break up with the best guy who's ever come along? - Texas Attorney

To see E. Jean's answer, read more.

Texas, My Trollymog,

Though 99.9 percent of the Dears are dying to tell you to get RID of the fellow (and are ready to strangle me for even running this question) . . . I quite like him. He doth reeketh a whiff? So what? That scent he's wearing is called "eau de employed." In this economy, honey, you may have forgotten what a man who holds a job actually smells like.

And come on, Miss Dainty Doily, how over-refined have you Texas attorneys become? Since when does a little tang banish "the best guy who's ever come along?"

Grab him by the ears and say, "Dude. Kill the baby smooches. I’m gonna show you how I like to be kissed." And when he leans in to begin the lesson, hold up your hand, smile and whisper: "Ahhhhhh - not so fast, you bewitching animal! Your man scent is a little too intoxicating for me. So look what I found . . . " And here hand him a box of hand-soaps, shampoos, and aftershaves. (If you're the high-strung Gossip Girl type - and aren't we all? - drive home your point by removing the top from the aftershave, sniffing and staggering backwards with your hand fluttering at your heart. He'll get the picture.)

A woman can always - always! - improve a "kind, generous, sweet" man because he wants to please you. Indeed, I once scrubbed down one of my husbands in vinegar and drove him around with his head hanging out the window till he dried off.

P.S. If you've washed him up and still want to wash him out, re-gift him to the ladies on GreatBoyfriends.com and chalk it up to a bad case of the "McClintocks." Martha McClintock, PhD, of the University of Chicago, has discovered that you're a sucker for gentlemen who smell like you do, but not exactly like you do; and you go wild for a fellow who smells like your dad, but not precisely like your dad. The theory is you will choose a mate with an immune system which will give your offspring a better chance in life.

But to hell with Martha! You have 50 or 60 years worth of olfactory foul-ups and fun in front of you.

To see more advice from E. Jean, visit Elle magazine and AskEJean.com.