TresSugar

Swiffer Got a New Spokeswoman

GiggleSugar — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 10:14:00 -0700

If this doesn't make mopping the floors look like a darn good time, then I don't know what will. The shades, the neck brace, the barking insanity- it's a far cry from Disneyland, but hey, there's always air guitar! And Momma Grinch here makes an entertaining drill sergeant, no?

House Cleaning With Chewbacca

GiggleSugar — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 03:00:00 -0700

I think this vacuum's sucked up one too many fur balls (or cats?)...

You Asked: Can I Force Them to Clean?

DearSugar — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 06:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I live with my boyfriend and his brother, mostly for financial reasons. If I had the money, I'd live just with my boyfriend. Kris, who is 26, just moved out from his mother's house. He's a very nice guy but he is the baby of the family. His mother always cleaned up after him, cooked for him often, did his laundry, cleaned his room on occasion, kept the kitchen clean, did his dishes, the works. Now that we all live together, I find that Kris doesn't do a very good job of cleaning up after himself. I'm not perfect, believe me, and neither is my boyfriend, but when the trash is full, I don't think that it's common sense, or very nice, to just pile things on top of the lid rather than take the trash five feet to the garage!

I am the only person in the house who puts my dishes in the dishwasher, turns it on when it's full, and empties it when they're clean. I've avoided doing it occasionally to see who will do it without my asking, and neither of them will step up to the plate. The dishes will pile in the sink while the dishwasher is full either with dirty or clean dishes. If I ask my boyfriend to do it, he'll complain about my "nagging." Finally, the kitchen will get so disgusting that Kris will call their mother and she'll drive the 20 miles to our place and clean it up for them.

The main problem is that I find it offensive that their mother, my potential mother-in-law, still babies them. I feel like this is our house, I live here too, and that the people who live here should take care of it and come to an agreement. I can't really put into words WHY I find it offensive that she cleans up after them, but in some ways I feel like she's looking down on me as a bad "woman" because I'm not doing a good enough job at keeping a clean house. My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy for feeling this way yet doesn't do anything to chip in. How can I convey to them how I feel? Am I really just acting crazy? Please help! - Living with Two Slobs Tommye

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Living with Two Slobs Tommye -

When you share living space with someone, it's imperative to be respectful of your roommates, and it sounds like your boyfriend and his brother are just so used to someone picking up after them that they don't know the basic fundamentals of cohabitating. With that said, you need to lay down the law ASAP. Living together before marriage is a good way to get a glimpse into the future, so set your ground rules now before it's too late.

If I were you, I would call for a house meeting and suggest hiring a maid immediately. If you split the cost three ways, it can't be all that expensive and it will eliminate the "nagging" that your boyfriend feels and the frustration you feel about the boys being slobs. To maintain a clean house, I would also fairly assign chores and make sure they understand how important it is to respect each other's living space.

You are not crazy for feeling the way you do and I happen to think it's completely inappropriate that their mother still cleans up after them. She certainly isn't doing them any favors by continuing to baby them. Hopefully, once the maid comes on a weekly basis and everyone pitches in accordingly, you will be future mother-in-law free and living in a clean house before you know it. If they aren't willing to change their lazy ways, you're going to be better off living on your own. Good luck!

Source

Gender Roles - Love 'Em Or Leave 'Em?

OnSugar Blog — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:10:00 -0800

Here's a poll from OnSugar blog Rantings of a Single Girl.

Let's go back to the 1940s for a minute. My grandmother was married, raised a kid, ran a farm, taught school, and kept a clean house. All while my grandfather was away at war. After my grandfather came back from the war and had recovered from his wounds, they went back into their traditional roles. He ran the farm and did all the "manly" things. My grandmother raised my aunt, taught school, and still had dinner on the table by 5:30 PM every night. All while pregnant with my dad.

I'm exhausted just talking about it.

I bring all this up because I've been thinking about gender roles lately. I look at my parents. Granted, my dad still does majority of the "manly'" things around the house and my mom does the household things, neither one is afraid to help out the other. My dad does housework. My mom can swing a hammer when needed.

And that's what I like.

I'll never be able to date a guy who believes in traditional gender roles. As much as I like cooking and being in the kitchen, I don't like being expected to be there. If we have kids, I'm not going to be the one who raises them. I certainly expect their father to help out. At the same time, I don't expect him the only one who takes out the trash or fixes things when they break. I think 50/50 is a good blend.

So could you be with someone who firmly believes in traditional gender roles? Or would you rather share the load?

Want to see more? Start following Rantings of a Single Girl or start your own OnSugar Blog. Maybe your stories will be posted here on TrèsSugar!

You Asked: He Won't Help With the Chores

DearSugar — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half years now and we've been living together for a year and a half. The things is that we always have those kinds of arguments that people have when they live together - about things he's left around the house, about the bathroom being messy, and about him not helping with the dishes, etc.

Yesterday he told me that he wanted to get his own place for a while since we're always arguing about household stuff. He wants to see if things improve in our relationship. I know that he is certainly not thinking about breaking up with me, but I feel bad about him moving out. I'll miss him, and I like sharing our home. On the other hand, I think that I should let him go so he can miss me and not take me for granted.

What should I do? Let him go for a month or two, or insist he stay??

-Loving Living Together Laura

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Loving Living Together Laura--

You are describing the problems that all couples have who live together. If he takes a "break" and moves out for a while, it won't magically solve these problems. As soon as he moves back in after missing you for 2 months, your problems will still be there. I suggest that he doesn't move out.

The only way to fix these problems is to be proactive about it. You've got to sit down together and set up some guidelines and a cleaning schedule so you each know who is responsible for what. You should both be in charge of cleaning up after yourselves, and when it comes to other household chores, you can either take turns or assign certain chores to each person. Maybe he does the vacuuming and takes out the trash, and you do the dishes and clean the bathroom.

It sounds like he's freaking out about having to answer to someone and he doesn't like being nagged. When he lived alone, he could do what he wanted and leave his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor. Now that he's living with you, it's all about respecting the space that you two share. Cleaning the house is no fun for anyone, but it's just not fair when one person is doing all the work. Once you guys work out a schedule, you'll be able to focus on the fun parts of your relationship.

Source

Clash of Cultures Puts Latina Teens in Danger of Suicide

TresSugar — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:50:13 -0700

According to the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention, one out of seven Latina teenagers attempts suicide.

Psychologist Dr. Luis Zayas of Washington University, who has spent the last 25 years studying Latina teens, believes that this rate is so high because of the teens' troubled relationships with their mothers. Usually the child of poor immigrant parents, the troubled teen is caught between her parents' values and the ones she sees growing up in the US.

American teens, says Dr. Zayas, have "very different models about what girls should do, can do and are permitted to do." For Francisca Abreu, now 15, clashing with her Dominican mother led to depression, a suicide attempt, and pregnancy at 14. Her mother Isabel wanted Francisca to stay home, clean the house, and learn to cook. Not surprisingly, Francisca wanted to go out with her friends.

"Teenagers have certain freedoms; they don't need to consult with their parents to make certain decisions," Dr. Zayas says. "That's the culture that's here, and inserted in that is the Latino family that says the family is much more important than the individual."

After giving birth to her daughter Destiny at 14 and lots of therapy, Francisca says she finally understands what her mother went though. "All she did was be a good mother, sacrifice her life for us," Francisca says. "That's all she did."

Did you grow up in an immigrant family and deal with the clash of cultures as a teen?

Woman Reads a Book a Day For an Entire Year

TresSugar — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 10:10:00 -0700

When I was in college, in addition to all the books I had to read for school, I was an avid fiction reader. Even then, if I read a book a week, I felt I was doing pretty well.

Forty-six-year-old Nina Sankovitch of Westport, CT, made it her goal to read book a day while blogging (naturally!) about her activities, in part to share her love of books with others and as a way to get through the pain of her sister's death in 2005. Her rules: the books have to be ones she's never read before, she reads only one book per author, and she posts her reviews the next day. She's a couple weeks away from the end of her self-imposed reading marathon.

How does someone, even a fast reader, have time to read a book a day? It doesn't hurt that the former environmental lawyer appears to be at home most of the day, and she has someone coming to her house to help her with household chores every other day. With all the things you have to do (job, school, cleaning, socializing), how long does it take you to get through a book these days?

Source

Cute Alert: 10-Year-Old Is Obsessed With Vacuum Cleaners

TresSugar — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Man, I love eccentric kids. And 10-year-old Gregory Evans of Illinois fits that description perfectly. The kid has been fascinated with vacuum cleaners since he was 3!

Gregory loves vacuum cleaners so much his idea of the perfect vacation is to go to the Hoover Museum, and he can tell what make, model, and year a vacuum cleaner is just by listening to it. (I also love that his parents indulge his eccentricity - his father seems totally delighted that his son has such a gender non-normative interest in this homely house-cleaning implement!)

This little dude better be careful when he grows up or he's gonna be snatched up by some lazy woman who never wants to clean. "Oh, hey Gregory," I can hear her say now, "the carpet really needs to be cleaned in the living room, and it's been so long since I've heard the hum of a 1939 Hoover Super Duster. Please be a dear and start one up!" He'd probably be out of that room before she could even finish her sentence.

Go, Gregory!

China Clamps Down and Cleans House for Olympics

LibertySugar — Wed, 07 May 2008 09:00:31 -0700

The International Olympic Committee (IOC), as well as China, are looking for ways to make the Beijing Olympics run smoothly this summer.

China finally admitted yesterday that it has been tightening visa controls. Fears that activists, or even terrorists may disrupt the games, the government is implementing a more strict procedure. Typically easy to get business visas will not be available from mid-April until mid-October.

Foreign students are also being told to leave for July and August. Some estimate that as many as 10,000 students will be exiled, as China attempts to reduce the number of potential protesters.

Meanwhile in the arena, athletes' clothes and gestures will be subject to Olympic Rules. The IOC clarified "Rule 53.1" which says that "no kind of demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda is permitted in any Olympic sites, venues or other areas." Athletes are free to answer media questions about political topics but cannot express such opinions with their look, external appearance, clothing, gestures, and written or oral statements at official Olympic sites.

Are these restrictions necessary to a safe and smooth Olympics? Do you think athletes should be able to express their opposition to human rights violations? Are the Olympics ignoring its own tradition of activism, as seen in this picture of USA athletes protesting racism in the US during the 1968 Olympics?

Woman Held Captive For Eight Years as Child Gives First Interview

TresSugar — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:00:00 -0700

Three years after she escaped from a man who abducted her at age 10 and kept her in a basement for eight and a half years, Natascha Kampusch gave her first interview to British television. She talks about how she's doing; what she thinks about fellow Austrian Elisabeth Fritzl, who'd been held captive by her father and forced to have his children; and if she thinks such stories are particular to Austria.

Kampusch was walking home from school in 1998 when Wolfgang Priklopil abducted her. He kept her in a small, soundproof cellar underneath his garage that had no windows. Although he gave her books and music, and sometimes allowed her to go to his house upstairs, it was only when she was a teenager that she was allowed to go outside, sometimes even accompanying him on trips. It was while she was cleaning his car and he was distracted on his cell phone that she was able to finally escape from him. Upon seeing that Kampusch had escaped, he committed suicide by jumping in front of a train.

Asked if she thought that these cases of young girls being abducted and held captive were particular to Austria, she replied that although they happened everywhere, in the case of Austria, it was part of the effect of World War II. “At the time of national socialism," she says in the interview, "the suppression of women was propagated and authoritarian education was very important.”