TresSugar

Dear Poll: Would You Tell Your Friend If He Was Just Not That Into Her?

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 10:00:00 -0800

The results were pretty evenly distributed in yesterday's poll on whether or not women were portrayed fairly in He's Just Not That Into You, and in fact, a lot of you said you could relate to Gigi's over the top antics. I think we've all been there, as love can be blinding, but watching a friend who's visually impaired in the name of love can be frustrating and often exhausting.

In order to be a good friend, it's important for us to support each other, even if it means telling her the cold hard truth. So ladies, if you knew a guy was just not that into your friend, tell me, would you feel comfortable being the bearer of bad news?

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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Stayed in a Relationship Out of Fear of Being Alone?

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

When you fall out of love with someone, doing the right thing and initiating a breakup can be easier said than done. After being in a long-term relationship, you inevitably become attached to the level of comfort and connectedness you've established, so it's no wonder people have such a hard time letting go.

So ladies, even though it's not the most respectable thing to do, tell me, have you ever stayed in a relationship longer than you should have out of fear of being alone?

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You Asked: He Can't Say That He Loves Me!

DearSugar — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm 22 years old and my boyfriend is 33. We have been friends for about a year and have been dating for seven months. We get along really well and he makes me laugh all the time. He’s awesome and almost perfect in every way but the other night when I asked him if he loved me, he couldn't say yes. I love him, and am very sure about my feelings for him so I was obviously very upset by this. After I shed a few tears, we talked and he told me that he’s happy with me and really cares about me, but he's just not ready to say "I love you" yet.

Now I feel like I've ruined everything because I feel like there must be something wrong with me if he doesn’t know by now. I feel like we've been together long enough for him to know if he wants to be serious with me or not. I'm constantly stressed about our relationship, wondering if he'll ever love me the way I love him, so what do I do now? Wait and let him tell me when he’s ready, or leave because I don’t want to be waiting around for my heart to be broken? - In Love Lauren

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear In Love Lauren,

Telling someone you love them means something different to everyone. There are some people that use the term loosely, but if you're like me, you only say it when you really mean it. It sounds as though your boyfriend thinks a lot like me, so while I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear, perhaps he just needs a little more time. Since he told you how happy he is with you and how much he cares for you, I wouldn't assume that your relationship is in trouble, it just sounds like he's a little guarded when it comes to the L-word.

Since you love him, and he cares for you, too, I'd try to separate what happened the other night from your day-to-day relationship and wait for him to be ready - you don't want to pressure him into telling you something he doesn't mean. I understand that you feel embarrassed and let down that he's not there yet, but like I said before, everyone's feelings progress differently. Hang in there Lauren, keep the lines of communication open and when the time is right, saying I love you will be a natural and effortless term of endearment.

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Finally! An Honest R&B Song

GiggleSugar — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 13:00:00 -0700

R&B music is soft, smooth, and super sexy, but let's be honest - how realistic is it? Who "makes love" all night long? These dudes have a song in their hearts, but they ain't gonna lie about their performance in bed. Seven minutes. Four minutes. They'll do the best they can. And you might want to go ahead and fake that orgasm; it'll help alleviate all of those negative body issues they got from that Boston Market binge. You understand.

Found! A Half-Ass Apology

GiggleSugar — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 09:14:48 -0700

He leaves shards of glass all over the floor for people to step and slip on, but he signs off with "love" - typical dude.

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Dear Poll: Was/Is Nakedness a Part of Your Household?

DearSugar — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 16:00:00 -0700

When you were growing up, were your parents and siblings hung up about nudity? Were you not allowed into your parents bedroom while they were getting dressed or do you remember feeling uncomfortable seeing your mom or dad get out of the shower?

Each household has different opinions on what age children should stop seeing their parents naked and up to what age parents should let their kids run around naked, but according to Psychologies Magazine's August issue, a relaxed attitude about nudity helps establish a healthy physical bond and a more open mind about body image.

So ladies, what I want to know is how do you feel about nakedness in your home?

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Brutally Honest Wedding Vows

GiggleSugar — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 04:00:00 -0700

They say that trust is key to a happy marriage, so if the bride and groom remain this honest with each other-- I think they'll share a long, surprisingly functional marriage together. Note to (my very single) self: Perhaps "settling" isn't so bad after all.

Would You Be Honest?

DearSugar — Fri, 25 May 2007 09:32:48 -0700

Here's the situation. Your best friend just got a date with this guy she's had a crush on for months. You're out shopping together for the perfect outfit and she calls you into the dressing room yelling "I found it!" You walk in and she looks at you all excited and says "Well, what do you think? Does it make me look fat?" In your mind you answer yes, but to her face...

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What A Cookie Monster!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 16 May 2007 16:00:00 -0700

Perhaps this is where the phrase "give me some sugar" came from. This kid claims to love his Mom only when cookies are involved-- so much for "unconditional" love! But you can't fault the kid for being honest...can you? (Think long and hard: the alternative is this little liar!)

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My Roommate Left me in the Lurch

DearSugar — Wed, 02 May 2007 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--
Things between my roommate and I have been pretty tense lately since she backed out on our future living situation. We were hunting for apartments for a month and then out of left field, she shocked me by saying she is planning on moving back home. This really angered me because now I am stuck looking for a 1 bedroom while I could have signed a lease months ago with another friend had I not been on a wild goose chase with my current roommate.

Yesterday, I accidentally logged on to her facebook account (her comp saves passwords) and then I'll admit it, I read one of her messages. It turns out that she is not moving home, but looking for an apartment with a coworker. I am furious now because we are supposed to be best friends and lately all she has been doing is lying to me. I haven't told her what I know and how I know and my anger is just getting worse by the second. The problem is how can you confront someone when you weren't supposed to read the message in the first place? --Snooping Sophie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Snooping Sophie--
I am sorry your roommate left you in the lurch and I can completely understand your frustration with her. While you did invade your roommate's privacy, if you want to confront her you're going to have to come clean about your snooping. Your anger is bound to affect your friendship so the sooner you get everything off your chest the better, although be prepared to suffer the consequences of your actions.

Living with friends can get hairy sometimes, especially when one person wants to move on, so I suggest sitting her down and having a heart to heart. Honesty is the best policy, so hash everything out before your friendship becomes affected. While you are jumping to conclusions and taking her decision to live with another friend personally, you don't know the facts. Is your roommate having monetary problems? Could this new living situation be much cheaper than what she pays now? Is it closer to her work place, etc.?

It sounds as though your roommate was uncomfortable telling you the truth because she was afraid of hurting your feelings, so instead she went behind your back which is in turn making matters worse. Be the bigger person; let her know you are aware of what's going on and that you would have appreciated her honesty. Hopefully once all the facts are on the table, you can enjoy the remaining time together as roommates and get excited for your new relationships as friends versus roommates in the future. You never know, living apart could turn out to be a great new chapter in your life.

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