Being a friend is also being a moral compass, in certain cases. I also agree that telling her the way you feel and that you don't approve is an excellent course of action.

I also agree that telling her is good. Then if she continues to flaunt it and discuss it around you, I see no problem with ending the friendship.

I would also see no problem with ending a friendship over this.

Definitely talk to her about how you're feeling. Phrase it somewhat gently - you think it's morally wrong to do something like that, and you're concerned about her getting hurt (because what he does WITH you, he'll do TO you). If this is a first time thing for her, it's entirely possible she's thinking with her cooter, not her head. Talking things out with a caring friend might help her wake up!

if you find something that a friend is doing is morally rephrehensible to you, you should tell her. and if it still bothers you that much, there's nothing wrong with distancing yourself from her until she comes to her senses.

I think you should tell her how you feel. It sounds like she's due for a reality check but I have a feeling she may tune you out altogether

Eventually her affair with the married man is going to end up where it always does.Karma will see to that.

If she continues with her selfish behavior then you might have no other choice but to let go of the friendship.

I think you just need to have a good, long talk. I wouldn't cut her off completely though, because when this creep inevitably breaks her heart, she's going to need a friend. She sounds like she's really naive, but not necessarily mean-spirited. Lonely girls do stupid things!

Hopefully you can open her eyes to her own foolishness, but if she doesn't see the light you should still be there for her. Abandoning a friend in need is "morally reprehensible" to some of us, too.

I agree that if you're uncomfortable with her telling you about her relationship, let her know. Put down that boundary. If she is a good friend, she would respect that boundary, and not talk to you about it again.

As far as judging her (and the relationship), personally, I would refrain from that. I've witnessed people in bad marriages, and left those marriages for those better suitable for them. These people ended up happily married for a long time (and still going strong).

Of course, I do not support extramarital affairs. I'm just saying the situation is not always black and white.

I agree with that, Glowingmoon, and I also agree with Weffie that cutting your friends off can also be morally repulsive.

I am just saying that if the person is deliberately aiding in the destruction of a marriage for selfish reasons, a look at that friendship is certainly warranted. PErhaps they are not the person you thought they were? Besides, the friends you keep reflects on who you are as a person.

I am just saying an evaluation of the situation is called for, that is all.

I agree with you as well GlowingMoon and Spacekatgal.

I definitely think that once I've lost respect for someone, I don't want to be there friend.
But before I kick her to the curb, I would talk to her. Maybe she'll never mention it to you again and you can go on like before. Maybe she'll be offended, and you can stick with easier friendships.

your friends sex life is none of your business. tell her you don't care to hear the details, "thanks", and change the subject.

i think the percentage of married men that leave their wives for their lovers is about 10%. but your friend won't listen to this, she's in love. love is blind.

his being her boss is a whole other sticky wicket.

wow, this girl is all kinds of risk taking. yikes!

As a marriage and family therapist for many years, I would suggest honesty, with kindness and compassion. Watch for awhile and see what your friend does, it may take her some time to change direction. And certainly set your boundaries for what you will discuss, etc. while you give it some time. It will play out and you will be clear about whether you still want her friendship.

www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com

I had an acquaintance/friend who was doing the same thing. She was seeing a married man who's youngest was only 4 mo. old. With her past relationships as an indicator, she had no problem with this arrangement.
I was no okay with it, and after I talked to her about it, and she showed no desire to change her ways, I ended my friendship with her. I wasn't comfortable being around her - and it was inevitable that the topic would come up. I wasn't okay with it, but I was okay with one less acquaintance.
The decision is yours. If it's a really good friend, it might be worth really sitting down and discussing the issue, if it's just an okay friend, I think you have to decide whether sticking with your friend thru all this is worth it.

In response to weffie I think abondoning a friend in need is wrong, but I don't really see her as a friend in need. She's choosing to hurt people and is fine with it. I would have a big problem with sticking by a friend that was doing this. It really does depend on the friend and how well you know the person. Some people go through crazy things in life and if she means a lot then you should be there for her when she does need you at the end of the affair. But I wouldn't stick around while she chooses to mess around with someone else's husband. I pretty much agree with everything Tres said. The main thing is that you've lost respect for her. I think it's really hard to be friends with someone you don't respect.

I agree with spacekat and kimpossible!!!

@weffie- i never said the op should completely abandon her friend, i just believe that no one should subject themselves to a situation they are completely uncomfortable with where someone is bound to get hurt. i clearly stated that it was okay for the op to distance herself until the friend came to her senses (extracted herself from this toxic relationship), then she would then be capable of giving her the support she needed. how the hell do you support a friend while they're in the middle of having an affair with a married person?