You can almost hear the attempt at health straining to break through the desire to pickle the liver. Will "frozen healthy shit" win out over wine and tonic? My guess is no. Source Read more

Try "I love you with all of my internal organs." That gets 'em every time. Source Read more

This must have been found at NBU (Norman Bates University). Ree ree ree! Source Read more

Awww. He is pretty devilishly handsome. Source Read more

I'm not sure if fan mail is what you really want outside your hotel room. But hey, anything goes in Vegas! Source Read more

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Pick up Joey from preschool. Check. Vacuum. Check. Check prices on butthole bleaching. Ch — wait, what?! Source Read more

Now this is a party! "Play" is used three times, and snacking is mentioned twice. A girl after my own heart. Source Read more

This child is going to spend the rest of her life wanting not to wear a bra. Enjoy it while you can, kid! Source Read more

I must be a "syco," because this really resonates with me. Source Read more