TresSugar

Dear Poll: Are You Forgetful?

DearSugar — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:00:00 -0700

I used to pride myself on my impeccable memory, but lately I’ve had trouble remembering the silliest things, like the time of my dentist appointment and if I’m supposed to meet my girlfriend on Friday or Saturday night. When I mixed up the latter, my friend said, “you’ve become so forgetful.” And I suppose it’s true, though I blame it all on being too busy, of course. Are you forgetful, too?

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Do Tell: What do you Always Forget?

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 08:35:00 -0700

I consider myself to be a fabulous packer, but whenever I travel, I seem to always forget my toothbrush! Leaving your home for any length of time can be a little nerve wracking and stressful, so ladies, do tell, what do you seem to always forget to pack when you travel?

You 101: Why You Get Forgetful When Stressed

DearSugar — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 08:31:00 -0700

I hope I'm not alone when it comes to finding myself overstressed, overtired and absurdly forgetful. I've actually hung up the phone and been unable to remember, moments later, who I was talking with or what was discussed. I once found the handset in my refrigerator -- kid you not. I've made lists to help keep it together and promptly been unable to find said lists. This frustrates other people, who presume I'm a little kooky or careless, which I'm not, of course, and I can get pretty frustrated at myself. But guess what? I'm not to blame, an enzyme is.

Click here to read more

Turns out that acute or chronic stress can impair short-term memory. While the riddle isn't entirely solved, it appears that neurons in the hippocampus -- the part of the brain responsible for memories that involve people, places, and events -- are altered by stress.

An enzyme called tissue plasminogen activator, or tPA, might be the cause, according to scientists at Rockefeller University. Interestingly enough, changes caused by tPA in the brain might actually be protecting it from more permanent damage by slowing down our cognitive abilities.

It's hoped this research will begin to shed light on serious stress-related illnesses, like PTSD. For those of us struggling with the daily accumulation of major stress, like caring for a sick child or an elderly parent, a job loss, a death or other emotional crises, there's some good news. The scientists report that these effects are largely "reversible [when] you terminate the stress."

Having this information helps me be more patient with myself, and it's a nice fact to have handy when others ramp up the judgement, too. Oh, and happy Brain Awareness Week, ladies. Betcha didn't know there was such a thing.

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10 Smart and Sexy Books

TresSugar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:00:59 -0800

Forget the Literary Review's Bad Sex Scene award - we want the good ones, but not the smut . . . necessarily. Luckily, Nerve tracks the books with the best sex scenes all year with its Henry Miller awards. Named after the novelist, it rewards the best literary sex scenes in the English language. We've selected our 10 favorites.

Source: Flickr User jamelah

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Hillary Talks Sexism, Obama's Job Offer, and Mad Men to Vogue

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:00:35 -0800

Hillary Clinton finally sat down for a long-overdue Vogue interview. She offended editor Anna Wintour during the primaries by turning down the fashion mag out fear of looking "too feminine." And though she won't be on the December cover, the article is as substantial and satisfying as a cover story.

From night swimming alone to her favorite shows (Mad Men!), we see a side of Madame Secretary that all the vetting in the world would not unearth. See some of what she had to say below.

On visiting countries as a high-ranking female: "You can go to some countries and there's not a woman in the room. They don't even make the effort to give me the token woman minister. . . . And in lots of African countries the honorific for women is 'Mama.' So I had lots of people say to me, 'Mama, what about this; Mama, what about that?'"

On President Obama's job offer: "I was stunned after the election when President Obama asked me to consider this. . . . I really was very unconvinced. I did not think it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to do it. I just really had a lot of doubts, and I kept suggesting other people: Well, how about this person! How about that person! This one would be really good! But then a friend of mine called me and basically said, 'How would you have felt if you'd been elected and you'd called him and asked him to do this?' And that really made a big impression on me. How do you say no? And so . . . I said yes. And here I am."

On Mad Men: "That's how it was! That's why the women's-liberation movement was so shocking. It was like news from outer space"

See what else she had to say after the jump.

Things You Forget When You First Start Dating Someone

DearSugar — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

The thrill of meeting someone whom you connect with can be momentous. But it’s all too easy to let the adrenaline rush and dinner dates go to your head. Before you know it reality can get completely lost in all those exciting emotions, so here are a few reminders to keep you grounded when you first start dating someone.

Just because he’s not “the one” doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun for a little while. But do make sure that you’re both on the same wavelength to avoid any potential hurt feelings.
If you find yourself unsure about your feelings towards him that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s not “the one.”
People are imperfect - including you.
If you think something is a red flag then you’re probably right.
Attraction alone won’t cut it. No matter how hot he may be or how gorgeous he thinks you are, you’re going to need more eventually.
Your friends will notice if you suddenly start bailing on them.
Giving into your lust isn't always a bad idea, but confusing lust with love is never a good move.
Your friends don’t always know what’s best, but sometimes they really do!

Though dating may be nerve wracking, it should be more fun than not! If you have a reminder for all the newly dating ladies, please share in the comments below!

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Things You Forget During a Breakup

DearSugar — Wed, 21 May 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Breaking up is like being forced to climb onto an emotional rollercoaster that goes way too fast and lasts far too long. In the midst of all those competing emotions, it’s easy to find yourself obsessing over it. I have a few reminders about those things that might slip your mind in the wake of a difficult breakup. To see them, read more.

There’s nothing wrong with you, and the fact that you’re no longer in a relationship is not an indicator of your self-worth!
You really do deserve better - like being in a lasting relationship. No matter what mistakes you may have made, you always deserve to be happy.
Things weren’t as great as you’re remembering them to be. It’s easy to idealize the things we no longer have, but that doesn’t mean it’s a true reflection of the past.
You’re right - there is no one like that person, and you’ll never have that relationship again, but you can and will have better!
It's trite but so true that with every ended relationship you suffer a loss, but also a gain. Not only was the relationship a learning experience, but recovering from a breakup is in itself an amazing (yet painful) time of personal growth.
It may not seem like it, but others really do understand how you feel, although that doesn’t mean you have to pay attention to their words of wisdom.
You’re completely justified in your feelings - nothing about breaking up is easy - but you do have to move forward eventually, even if it’s only little by little.

It seems impossible, but you will be happy again. If you can't do anything else, hold on to that one bit of hope and you'll make it through.

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Things You Forget When You're in a Relationship

DearSugar — Mon, 05 May 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Last week I reminded all the single girls out there that while being in a relationship is great, so is being single! On the flip side, often even when we wouldn't change anything about our happy relationships, we can still feel nostalgic for the excitement of our single days. But I’ve got another list to remind the taken ladies just how absolutely fabulous a great relationship is. To see them, read more

Going out on the weekend gets old, fast. It's way more glamorous to make a night out on the town an every once and a while occasion.
There’s a big difference between being boring and being stable. And not having a bunch of dramatic stories to share on girls' night doesn’t make you boring!
You don't have to bother washing your hair, putting on make-up, or shaving your legs every day and there's still at least one guy out there that thinks you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
A perfect first kiss is amazing, but a perfect 500th kiss is better.
All that excitement and energy that comes with dating also comes with a lot of uncomfortable moments and insecurities.
When you're out with your friends, you may have to bail early and go home alone, but you’ll have someone to talk to, vent to, laugh with, and just sleep next to when you get there.

The comfort that comes from being in a happy relationship truly is unmatched, but if I'm leaving out something, please share it below!

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Things You Forget When You're Single

DearSugar — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:00:00 -0700

The saying “the grass is always greener” couldn’t be more true. It’s just so easy to glamorize what we don’t have, especially when it comes to relationships. When you’re taken, it suddenly feels like everyone is living la vida loca, and when you’re single, all the negative that comes with being in a relationship magically disappears. But the truth is, just because you’re glamorizing something doesn’t actually make it more glamorous, so I thought I’d put together a list to remind the single folks what they’re not missing! To check it out, read more

Being in a relationship requires a lot of time and energy. Sure, the benefits should outweigh the work, but still, it can be tiring.
That new crush feeling goes away. Being in love is great, but it’s just not the same as the adrenaline rush you get when you meet someone new.
You have to accommodate and compromise all the time. A serious couple has to check in with each other before they make plans and forgo certain things to appease each other.
You can’t hang out with your friends as much as you want. Even if you and your boyfriend are extremely conscious of maintaining your friendships, it’s just not possible to spend as much time with your friends as you used to. This is totally normal, but still a bummer.
Your days of silly flirting, first kisses, and hourlong makeout sessions are over (at least for a while).

In my opinion, the absolute best part about being single is having all that potential at your fingertips - there's just no way to recreate that particular feeling! What am I leaving out? Please share your own ideas below.

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A Generation of Male Commitmentphobes?

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:30:00 -0800

A recent Marie Claire trend piece takes on a certain species of man: the commitment-phobe. Lest you think this is but one unavoidable type of man, the writer suggests that there's a whole generation of 30-something men having early midlife crises:

These guys are part of a cause-less generation. They didn't grow up burning their draft cards or fighting the Nazis. They weren't part of the Civil Rights Movement, the Women's Movement, or any other movement. They were spoiled as kids and now they want to spoil themselves as adults. The old cliché was that a man would wake up one morning and realize that he wanted his youth back. The new version is that he never reached adulthood in the first place.

This type tends to be drawn to Type-A women who can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let him forget he's a man . . . but the writer wonders if part of what the male commitmentphobe is thinking is that this type of woman doesn't need him at all. (Hmmm. So it's her fault?)

I don't think many would argue for a return to old-school gender roles and the suffocation that went with them, but do you think there's a whole generation of young-ish men who don't know how to commit?