TresSugar

How Do You Let Someone Know That You’re Interested in Him?

TresSugar — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 04:00:00 -0700

If someone came up to you and asked, "Hey, wanna make out?" unless you were a little cuckoo in the cabeza, more than likely you'd look at him funny and back away. Men might like it, though, because at least you'd be unambiguous.

In the journal Personality and Individual Differences, researchers asked 40 women between 19 and 22 what kinds of opening lines they might use to tell men they're interested in dating them. Although women get mixed messages from magazines and advice columns on the subject of whether or not men like being asked out by women, the men in this survey said they preferred a direct woman. Want to know why? Then, read more

One of the main reasons? Although women think they're sending clear signals that they like someone, it's been shown that they often behave no differently toward a man they're not interested in than one they are - at least for the first minute or so of an interaction. (Perhaps because we're taught to be nice and polite, no matter what?) In the fourth and 10th minute, though . . . that's when the signals are less ambiguous.

I don't know about you - but I try to be friendly to everyone, so I could see how a man I'm not interested in might think I am, but for the one I am interested in? Short of asking, "Wanna make out?" I'm a big enough flirt that he'll know for sure. How do you let someone know that you're interested in him?

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You Asked: Do I Really Love Him?

DearSugar — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 12:30:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I've been dating my boyfriend for about five years now and I love him very much, but the problem is, I started having feelings for one of my guy friends who I've known for about seven years. I'm pretty sure it's just an innocent crush, but this is the first time in all the years of being with my boyfriend that I've thought about another man. I'm not sure what to do - I really do love my boyfriend but is it normal to have feelings for someone else too? - Confused Cassidy

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Confused Cassidy,

I personally think a little innocent flirting while in a relationship is no big deal if there are no real feelings behind it, but if you're worried that you might be falling for this guy, I think it's a pretty clear indication that you need to reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend.

Since this is the first time you've ever thought about another man, something tells me that your relationship is suffering a blow of some sort. Five years is a long time to be with someone so if I were you, I'd think long and hard before doing anything to jeopardize this relationship. Talk to your boyfriend, let him know how you're feeling, and if there's something you need from him that he's not giving you, this would be the time to ask for it. With that said, some relationships are simply not meant to be, so if you feel like this one has just run its course, perhaps it's time for you both to go your separate ways. Whatever the end result may be, be sure you at least weigh all your options. Good luck to you.

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True Confession - I Love the Attention

DearSugar — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"Q: What kind of guy overtly flirts with a girl even though he has a serious girlfriend?
A: A jerk.
Q: What kind of girl enjoys the guy with the girlfriend flirting with her even though she knows it's a nasty thing to do?
A: A stupid one - aka me.

Can I be forgiven for enjoying this kind of attention?"

Submit your own Sunday Confessionals here and see if you are forgiven!

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Dear Poll: Are You a Good Flirt?

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 13:30:00 -0800

A friend of mine, who is newly single, recently admitted that she's afraid to put herself out there again because she's a terrible flirt. But as someone who knows her well, I can attest that she is in fact selling herself short. However, I have been witness to terrible flirtation before. Not only is it awkward to watch, it's embarrassing if you're on the receiving end. I've always been a great flirt - not sure if that's a good quality to posses or not - but what about you?

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True Confession - I'm Crushing on My Best Friend's Husband

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"I am completely in lust with my best friend's husband and I hate myself for it. We flirt innocently, but I don't know if I could turn him down if he took it to another level and made a move on me. My best friend is like a sister to me, but I just can't help myself. Can I be forgiven for secretly feeling this way?"

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Do Tell: What's Your Signature Flirting Style?

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 07:30:00 -0800

If you're a flirt, you probably have your skill down to a science. You know what works, what doesn't work, and how to get your way with the guy you have your eye on. Some women, on the other hand, are not very skilled in the flirting department, so in an effort to help them out this weekend, share your secrets and tell us, what's your signature flirting style?

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Ask a Bad Boy: Why Do Taken Men Still Flirt With Single Women?

DearSugar — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Steve Santagati, of BadBoysFinishFirst.com and author of the best-selling book The Manual, answers your burning questions when it comes to dating, love, and how men think. He's a veteran at giving street-smart, straight-to-the-point advice, so ladies, tell me, what do you want to ask Steve about men? This is your chance to get answers so don't hold back! Submit your questions here.

Dear Steve,

I can't tell you how many times I've been out some place - like a bar or a restaurant - and I'll find out the guy that's been flirting with me and my girls is either married or in a relationship, what's up with that? Why do they even bother if they can't "swing through the ball" - so to speak? I feel like I need to preface every conversation I have with a man with "wait, do you have a girlfriend?" - Perplexed Penelope

To see Steve's answer read more

Dear Perplexed Penelope,

This question makes me laugh. The longer I live, the more I realize how similar men and women truly are. Boys and Girls may go about things differently and often appear to speak different languages, but in the end, we have more similarities in what we like and don't like than differences. After all, we're both human and us "beings" are almost identical. That's super good news - if you're paying attention. Moreover, women are the founding fathers - errr mothers - of the "tease" and isn't a man flirting - yet unavailable - just being a tease? You know, like when a girl walks into a bar flaunting major cleavage, a super short skirt, and playing with her hair yet doesn't have the slightest intention of having sex with any of us. Isn't Flirt Boy just doing what women have done for hundreds of years?

Teasing is one of the things men and women differ in; men can tease you by pulling your hair, but women tease on a much more visceral level, right down to the loins. Men don't tease. If we weren't so horny all the time maybe we would, but we are so we can't. Teasing implies we could actually "hold out" if you showed us you wanted to have sex. Very few of us can.

The Male Facts when it comes to flirting while in a relationship:

We do it because we enjoy the art of flirting
We do it because we're smart and know you have to keep the engine warm in case things fall apart with the current flame.
It's an ego boost when women respond
It helps us have a reality check to make sure "we still got it".
It's naughty and mischievous (obsessions any man, worth his salt, will not lose with age). It's like playing with fire because we know we have to be loyal, but it allows us to fantasize with the "what if".

The Female Solution:

Don't just talk to a man because you want a man. That's too cut and dry. Talk to him because you want to enjoy the person, enjoy the opposite sex, learn something that you can utilize when the right one comes along - Stop boyfriend/husband hunting.
See how far you can push Mr. Committed into crossing the line. It's not nice but you'll learn a lot about how good your game is and you'll be one step closer to understanding why bad girls finish first!
Enjoy the fact that you can do something us guys can't; tease. Teasing is one of those things that can define a woman; but just the right amount of sexy, too much and she's classless. The girls of Hooters have it down to a science.
Realize it's a cruel joke that most of the people we'll find ourselves attracted to will be taken. That's life. But I said it's a "joke" and jokes are meant to be laughed at, not cause anxiety.

Check out his Bad Girls Finish First tee shirts and, for individual attention, visit Steve at BadBoysFinishFirst.com or email him at askstevesantagati@gmail.com

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Does Food Play a Role in Your Relationship?

DearSugar — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0800

Were you glued to your TV last night like I was, watching the season premiere of Top Chef? This show is one of my favorites, and I've always thought it'd be a great one to watch with a significant other. Unlike most reality shows, its main focus is on the craft - the food - and the drama that follows is just the icing on the cake!

Food can be a great focal point when you're in a relationship. Not only is it fun to cook together, but sharing certain foods can also bring an element of flirtation to a relationship, whether you're dining in or eating out. Does food play an important role in your relationship?

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Where Do You Stand? Flirting When You’re Committed

DearSugar — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Although I would never go so far as to say that flirting is a form of cheating, I don’t believe that flirting is harmless either. When you’re single, flirting is often how a romantic relationship starts; it implies there's a sexual chemistry there. Then again, flirting is fun and a completely natural way for people to interact. So is flirting just inocent fun? Where do you stand when it comes to flirting once you’ve committed to someone else?

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The How-To Lounge: Flirting

DearSugar — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Some of us are natural born flirts, but the rest of us have to work at this particular skill set. Luckily, when it comes to flirting, a little can go a long way. If you're one of those girls still searching for your mojo, check out my rules of thumb and read more.

Eye contact is undeniably important in the art of flirting, and it conveys far more information than your witty banter will. Plus, if you look at him, then you’ll know whether he’s looking at you.
Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Like I told Low Confidence Lila, there’s nothing wrong with being shy, but if you are, learn how to use it to your advantage. All it takes is a couple of demure smiles and you’ve turned shy into coy with almost no effort.
The power of touch should not be dismissed. By laying your hand on a guy’s wrist or reaching out and touching his shoulder, you’re letting him know that you feel comfortable around him.
We all know that in the world of dating, looks do matter, but what most people fail to remember is that so does personality. You can’t just make eyes at him, you have to back up your flirty bravado with some real talk. Trust me, if you actually listen to what he says, it won’t be difficult to make conversation.
Don’t be afraid to leave him wanting more. Once you’ve connected with him, you don’t have to stay stuck on him all night. In fact, go ahead and cruise the field. Once you’ve grabbed him, he’ll be hooked and your distance will keep things mysterious.

As you get more acclimated in this particular art, you’ll find that certain things work for you and other’s don’t, so go with your gut!

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