TresSugar

Très Bizarre: Blond Russian Furries Have More Fun!

TresSugar — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 13:57:12 -0700

Some people have a thing for blondes. Some people have a thing for people dressed up as mascots, animals, and cartoon characters - they're called furries. This furry Russian vixen in a baby-doll nightie struts her stuff while awful music plays in the background. This is one out-there fetish!

Handle This: He Has a Secret Fetish

DearSugar — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Your boyfriend feels like your sex life needs a pick me up, but he doesn’t seem too thrilled when you suggest different positions. Instead, he says that he has his own idea, but he wants it to be a surprise.

The next night when you get home, he’s in the bedroom waiting for you. Laid out across the bed is a naughty nurse uniform. He has a stethoscope around his neck and he’s ready to play make-believe. How would you handle this?

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Top Sex Fetishes: Last Five

DearSugar — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Yesterday, I told you about the first five of the Top 10 Sex Fetishes, according to AskMen.com. Are you ready to hear the last five, most popular fetishes? They may surprise you!

5. Fingernails and lipstick: I know red lipstick and long red fingernails were a thing of the '80s, but some people are still obsessed with it. I guess there's something about perfectly puckered red lips - when you kiss them, lipstick smudges all over both people's faces, making men feel like they're having sex with a prostitute (something that's rebellious and taboo). As for the nails, some people absolutely love the feel of fingernails running along their backs, and they need it in order to get aroused.

4. Braids, ponytails, pigtails: This is the little-girl syndrome. Having sex with someone they perceive as young reminds them of a virgin, and also falls into the category of doing something that's wrong. Braids and long pigtails can also be used to whip or tickle a person, which is also a huge turn on. On the other hand, some women have a fetish for no hair, and they love rubbing a man's bald head.

Want to see the top three? Then read more.

3. Water: There are so many forms of water (rain, the ocean, even a faucet), and all of them can be very arousing. People with this fetish love to either hear running water nearby or be in running water when they're getting it on.

2. Golden Showers: If you're not familiar with this term, it has to do with urinating on someone - in a weird way, it's all about control. If you like to urinate on someone, you like to feel superior and dominating, and are in a way degrading the other person. If you like to be urinated on, you are into submitting and having someone take control over you.

1. Voyeurism and exhibitionism: The first term has to do with watching others have sex, and the second term is all about exposing yourself (flashing) or allowing others to see you have sex. Watching porn is a form of voyeurism, and having sex in a public place (with the risk that someone could catch you) is a form of exhibitionism.

Pretty interesting stuff, huh! I'm sure you have plenty to say so please share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Top 10 Sex Fetishes: One to Five

DearSugar — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

A while back, I told you about the different types of fetishes people have when it comes to sex. There's media (which has to do with how something feels), form (which has to do with the shape of something or how it looks), and animate (anything having to do with human body parts). There are tons of specific fetishes that fall into those categories, so let's check out which ones ranked the highest according to AskMen.com. Just to remind you, a fetish is characterized as an obsession, not just something you are attracted to. If a person has a fetish involving one of the things listed below, it means that she needs to think about or see that thing to get aroused.

Here are five of the top 10 fetishes:

10. Stomachs: Who can resist a soft, toned, and lean belly, right? Well some guys with this fetish may have a thing about ejaculating onto a woman's belly.

9. Body piercings: Younger people (18 to 35) tend to be into this. Piercings in the nose, navel, nipple, eyebrow, lip, or tongue are a must for people with this fetish. Feeling or seeing the cold metal is a huge turn on.

Are you curious to see the rest? Then read more

8. Leather, rubber, vinyl, latex: These kinds of material give a person the persona that they're "bad." You know, that they're the kind of person your parents warned you never to get involved with. For some people, it's exciting to be doing something with someone that you're not supposed to.

7. Domination and submission: This may come as a surprise, but more often it's women who dominate and men who are submissive. I guess women like to order their men around in the bedroom because it makes them feel strong and powerful, and men enjoy having someone take control and tell them what to do.

6. Feet and hands: Just like in that Sex and the City episode, apparently lots of people have a thing for toes or fingers. People love to touch, kiss, lick, or even suck these parts, and for some, they won't date a person with ugly feet or hands.

There are five more fetishes from the top 10 list, so stay tuned to hear the rest tomorrow!

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David Lynch Shoves Panties in His Mouth

GiggleSugar — Wed, 21 May 2008 01:00:00 -0700

David Lynch was the unconventional mastermind behind the freakish television series Twin Peaks. He's also received Oscar nominations for directing the dark masterpieces Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive. So how does this accomplished Hollywood bigwig show a fan his utmost gratitude? He duplicates (well, almost) a notorious scene from Blue Velvet and shoves the fan's panties in his mouth. I'm sure an autographed head shot or a hug would've sufficed just fine, but . . .

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Group Therapy: I'm Confused About His Fetish

Mon, 19 May 2008 03:00:00 -0700

My fiancé of two years - we've been together three years, and plan on marrying next July - admitted to me that he has a foot fetish, something I was really pleased he felt comfortable enough to tell me. I've done my best to be supportive and try to incorporate this into our sex life, and he says he's happy with things. But I've recently discovered that he's talking online to a woman running a foot fetish site (she puts pics of her feet and shoes online for men). If he was just looking at the site it wouldn't bother me, but I found out that he's talking to her about his preferences and our relationship, which I don't like at all.

He was talking to her about fantasies that he's never spoken to me about. I've made it clear to him from the beginning that I don't have a problem with looking at pictures, but a personal connection with someone is cheating in my book. In one online conversation he said he'd pay to see her feet and to tie her sister up (it's not as creepy as it sounds as its part of the service she offers) and it seriously bothers me. Am I being too sensitive about it? How do I talk to him about it? I've broached the subject and told him how strongly I feel about him talking to her, but now he's deleting the conversations and password protecting his computer, so I don't know whether he's stopped or not. I love him, and he loves me, but I can't spend my life pretending I don't know this is going on.

I'm not jealous, but I find myself always wondering what's going on. How can I fix this? I want to go back to just trusting him and knowing that he loves me. He gets upset when we talk about it because he says he feels like I don't trust him, but he's doing all of this behind my back - talking to her, buying shoes (with our money!), and goes out of his way to hide it all from me - doesn't it sound like I have grounds to wonder what's going on? What can I do?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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A Dirrty Diaper Fetish, Have We?

GiggleSugar — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Tonight's bedtime story: Man meets woman. Woman throws on a pair of Pampers, plays with dolls, and sleeps in a crib. Man happens to be a diaper lover - so they live dysfunctionally ever after. Hooray! Now who doesn't love a happy ending? (Thanks, eBaum's World!)

This "Squashing" Fetish Has Me Stumped

GiggleSugar — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 13:00:00 -0800

Tyra Banks, our self-named homecoming queen for the day, found it crucial to expose the world to a little known sexual fetish called "squashing." The deed involves exactly what the name suggests - one partner is body slammed or "squashed" by a much heavier counterpart. It's oh so WWF; the only difference is it's real.

Types of Fetishes

DearSugar — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0800

Remember that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte is given an expensive pair of shoes from the owner who has a foot fetish? There was something about women's feet that really got him going. Like that sales guy, some people have fetishes when it comes to sex. A fetish is different than just being attracted to something - you can like brunettes, but if you can't get sexually aroused without one, well then it's likely that you have a fetish for people with brown hair.

There are three types of fetishes:

Media: The type of material or the way something feels is what's obsessed over. Media fetishes include silk, feathers, fur, or leather.
Form: The shape of the object is what's important here. Long, skinny stiletto heels, knee-high boots, and flowy lingerie fall into this category.
Animate: These types of fetishes have anything to do with human body parts. That includes breasts, buns, bellies, necks, hair, etc.

There are all degrees of fetishes, and there's nothing wrong with having one unless the fetish gets out of hand, interferes with your life or your relationships, or harms you or your lover. If it gets to that point, it's best to see a professional.

Want to see a video clip of that Sex and the City episode I was talking about? Then read more

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Racial Preferences in Dating: Fetishism or Not a Big Deal?

TresSugar — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:00:00 -0700

We all have our physical preferences when it comes to finding a romantic partner. Some women want men to be tall, broad shouldered, and dark haired. Men may want a big-breasted blonde. We objectify those we find attractive to some extent, but what are the implications of preferring someone of a different race?

After reading an article a friend sent me, A White Woman Explains Why She Prefers Black Men, I realized that there's a big implication: the desire could be based on racial assumptions and stereotypes that, just because they're "positive," don't make them any less pernicious, objectifying, or, to put it bluntly, racist. Want to find out about racial fetishism? Then read more.

Whether you have "jungle fever" or "yellow fever" (you date blacks or Asians exclusively), you would be described, in the parlance of the day, as having a "fetish." One thoughtful person has explained a fetish this way:

Sexual fetishism in general is the sexual attraction to something which is not in itself a sexual object, such as feet or leather. Sexually fetishizing a person or group of people however means reducing them to objects, important only in their sexual function or interest to the fetishizer. Race fetishization means effectively reducing all members of a racial group to a monolithic whole, only valued in terms of their racial stereotypes. You are hearing racial fetishization when people talk about how black men have big penises, Asian women are exotic and submissive . . . just because a stereotyped characteristic is a "good" characteristic, that doesn't mean it's not racist.

So how does our White Woman (who is also a sex columnist) Who Prefers Black Men rate on the racial fetishizer scale? She's off the charts, a textbook case. Here are some salient bits from her essay.

That phrase, "Once you go black, you never go back'" is all about the feeling of the skin . . . Black men have more energy, style and edge than white men . . . something white guys don't have anymore: confidence in their masculinity, their sexuality . . . I am sure there must be some black men who aren't good in bed. Personally, I have not experienced one who isn't . . . They look better than white men, they touch and kiss and make love better than white men. Statistically, their penises are only a fraction of an inch bigger on average, but they seem bigger and harder . . .

Obviously, this white woman likes black men - a lot. It's all about sexualizing them, though, reducing all of them to their skin, to their presumed sexual prowess, their instinctual energy and innate masculinity. If racism is about assuming things about people based on their physical traits, how is this not racism? More disturbingly, her desire, conscious or not, participates in the kind of sexualization of black men that once justified their persecution and even murder.

So what to do about these nonpolitically correct desires? Censor them? Pretend they don't exist? One of my favorite sex columnists, Dan Savage from Savage Love, provides some intelligent advice. He never argues that we should police our desires, just that we be aware of where they're coming from and what they could mean in how we treat our partners. "There's nothing wrong," he tells one person seeking advice who has a fantasy of having a black man have sex with his wife, "with treating someone like a piece of meat during sex . . . some people enjoy being treated like pieces of meat . . . Consent is . . . always and everywhere the magic ingredient . . . As long as you understand the cultural forces that shaped your fantasy . . . there's nothing unethical about realizing your fantasy."

One wonders if these black men who Susan Bakos hooks up with know that she views them all the same way. (One wonders if she thinks viewing them this way is problematic at all.) The heart may want what it wants, Woody Allen said euphemistically about hooking up with his adopted daughter, but that desire can have ripple effects far beyond the couple in question, particularly when one woman's desire is presented, without any qualms or self-questioning, in an essay many people will read.