TresSugar

How Common Is Female Nipple Hair?

DearSugar — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800

Hair on a guy's chest - now that can be sexy, but when it comes to women, hair on your breasts is not something you want to find. Or worse, it's not something you want someone else to point out. I'm sure you think that hair on a woman's nipples just shouldn't be happening, but it's more common than you might think.

According to Cosmo, a few stray strands is extremely normal. It's typical for a woman to find as many as 15 or so dark, straight strands at one time. Generally, if you have darker hair on your head, you'll have more hair on your nipples.

But just because it's common doesn't mean you're OK with it. To find out what to do about your nipple hair, read more.

If you have an abundance of strands on your girls, waxing is a good solution. Don't be embarrassed, because like I said, I'm sure your technician has seen tons of ladies with hair there. If you only have a few lonely strands, then plucking them is a good option. Clean the area with alcohol first, use clean tweezers to pluck each hair, and then wipe the area with alcohol once more to prevent infection.

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A Do or a Don't: Checking Out Your Lady Business

DearSugar — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Last weekend I spent a giddy night with girlfriends just talking - you know the kind of night I’m talking about! In the midst of our conversation, one friend confessed that she’d never really seen her lady business before. Immediately, the other ladies launched into their own experiences on the matter. I couldn’t help but think of the Sex and the City episode where the girls try to convince Charlotte to check herself out in the mirror - even though she was incredibly uncomfortable, she went through with it!

Personally, I think the more knowledge you have about your body the better, but is grabbing a mirror over-the-top? Have you ever examined yourself down there? Or does the idea make you squirm?

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Hump Day: Sex Makes Her Uncomfortable

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:30:23 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:
I'm 24 and in my first relationship. I really like the guy, we've been going out for six months, but I get nervous whenever he slips his hand under my underwear. He gets the hint and stops. I don't mind him doing other things (we haven't slept together yet), but I wish I wasn't such a prude. I don't know what he expects and I worry that he will be grossed out, as I only shave/wax the bikini line but not the whole thing. What if he thinks it is ugly? I also don't know what I should expect; he knows I'm a virgin, but I don't know how to speak to him about why I get uncomfortable, and I don't know how to overcome it! I also have a few stretch marks and worry that he will be grossed out by them. Please help?

To read Dr. Glickman's response, read more.

Thank you for sharing this challenging situation. I know that it can be scary to talk about things like this, but these are all really common thoughts.

One of the things that can help when you’re on the edge of your comfort zone is to take it very slowly. It’ll probably help to tell your guy about your discomfort, even if you can’t tell him why it’s there. You could simply say "I have a lot of discomfort around sex." You also might want to do a little solo exploration. It takes the pressure off because there aren’t any partner expectations. Check out the wonderful book Becoming Orgasmic. If you’re looking for tips or ideas for techniques, Tickle Your Fancy is full of suggestions. Once you know a bit more about what you like or dislike, you and your boyfriend might be able to find something that you both like to do.

It’s worth mentioning that vulvas come in all different shapes. (The vulva is the external female anatomy. The vagina is the inside part.) There’s a long history of negative attitudes towards the vulva, but each one is unique and beautiful in its own way. A lot of women have the idea that there’s something wrong with their vulvas because they don’t look like what we see in porn or because they have hair, and I think that’s unfortunate. I strongly recommend getting to know your parts and Scarleteen has a great site about that. It’s geared towards teens, but there's lots of amazing info about sex, bodies, and pleasure.

Another option would be to explore some of these concerns with a therapist. When you have an itch on your back, you need someone else to scratch it. Therapists help us by reaching the spots we can’t reach on our own. Lastly, depending on where you are, you could join a body-image support group. While they tend not to focus on sexuality, they can be an incredibly helpful way to work through our concerns about our bodies and how we (or other people) feel about them.

Working through these challenges isn’t always easy, but it can be very rewarding. Whatever route you choose, I hope you find the pleasure and joy that you deserve.

War on Drugs Makes Women the Enemy

TresSugar — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:00:45 -0800

If you've been following the story of Cleveland's alleged serial killer Anthony Sowell, you know it's horrific. Eleven female bodies have been found in and around the man's home, leaving the public wondering how could these crimes go on undetected for years. Writing in the Daily Beast, Cleveland journalist Mansfield Frazier says he knows why: Sowell was able to kill drug-addicted women without anyone noticing because the war on drugs targets women. Let's examine the evidence he uses to support this allegation after the jump.

Say What? Chaz Bono Sheds Light on Transgender Experience

TresSugar — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 09:00:00 -0700

"I always felt like the male from the time I was a child. There wasn't much feminine about me. I believe that gender is something between your ears not between your legs."

- Chaz Bono, the child of Sonny Bono and Cher, explains why he decided to transition from female to male. In his first interview since announcing his decision, Chaz says that he didn't want to wait until he was an old man to enjoy his life in a male body.

Berlusconi Insults Women Again - And They're Fighting Back

TresSugar — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Feminism is back in vogue in Italy. Some say it lay dormant in spite of a vibrant '70s feminist movement, but thanks to raging misogynist Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, largely silent Italian women have had enough and are speaking up.

"[T]he scandals surrounding the prime minister have been like a violent slap in the face for millions of women who are just now waking up from a state of passivity," said political scientist Francesca Izzo.

A favorite tactic of the 73-year-old Berlusconi is to disparage the looks of his female political opponents. In a heated debate with 58-year-old opposition party member Rosy Bindi, he said, "You're more beautiful than you are intelligent," to which the annoyed politician shot back, "I am not a woman at your disposal." (Perhaps she was referring to his multiple girlfriends, which finally led his wife to file for a divorce.)

Many American women claim they aren't feminists, but I wonder if they'd change their tune if the president were speaking this way every day! To find out how Italian women are fighting back and to see a clip of a documentary about how women are represented on Italian television, read more

After Berlusconi's nasty comment to Rosy Bindi, pissed off women drafted a petition saying that his sexism was an insult both to women and to democracy. 11 days later, more than 100,000 women had signed it, claiming that Berlusconi participated in the "cretinization of women."

It took long enough for more women to speak up, but it's great they finally did it. Alas, Italian feminists have more than Berlusconi and his rhetoric to fight. In the following clip from filmmaker Lorella Zanardo's documentary Women's Bodies, you'll see that almost all the representations of women on Italian television depict them as sex objects.

Hump Day: I'm Self-Conscious About Receiving Oral Sex

TresSugar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"I'm very self-conscious about my body, and that extends to receiving oral sex. I like to give blow jobs to my boyfriend, but I worry about smelling and tasting good so I rarely let him reciprocate. I wonder if I never get satisfaction when I let him go downtown (he has to practically beg!) because I can't relax enough to enjoy it. Any advice?"

To hear what Dr. Glickman has to say, read more

First off, the vagina is self-cleaning, as long as it's healthy. I mention that because I want to make sure that it's very clear that all of the myths about the vagina being dirty have more to do with sexism and sex-negativity than anything else. That was a bit different in the past, when women's medical needs weren't really addressed and things like yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis went untreated. At the same time, if you ever suspect that your scent has changed, that can be a sign of these or other conditions and it's worth getting checked out by a medical professional.

But assuming that there isn't anything like that going on for you, you definitely have my sympathies. Worries about our bodies and how our partners perceive us is a serious mood-killer. And the irony is that our partners often either don't mind or actively admire exactly those parts of our bodies that we're worrying about!

From what you've written, it sounds like your boyfriend has no problem going down on you. After all, if he's begging for it, it's probably something that he's into. How does he describe your scent or taste? If he's just as enthusiastic about that, maybe that can help you reframe how you feel about it. As the saying goes, we each have our own tastes (sorry for the bad pun, but I couldn't resist).

Try taking a shower before having sex. If you do it together, then it becomes part of the warm-up instead of a chore. While it may not be strictly necessary, if it helps you relax, there's no reason not to. Just don't overdo it with the soap. The vulva (the exterior female sex organs) is covered with sensitive skin and some women find that washing too much can be irritating. And don't get soap inside the vagina - it can be irritating or even set off a yeast infection if you're sensitive.

It might also help if the two of you approach oral sex as a pleasure in itself, rather than worrying about whether you'll have an orgasm from it. Set the bar a little lower for a while and aim for discovering ways that it can feel good for you, even if you don't have an orgasm. Make it a science experiment and have him try different techniques so you can discover how they feel. One great way to do that is for him to do two different things, such as sucking your clitoris or making circles with his tongue for a little bit. Then you decide whether you liked A or B more. It's a fun way to explore new sensations and keep your focus on what you're feeling, rather than worrying about your scent. If he needs some ideas for things to try, Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Oral Sex is a great DVD on the topic. Or check out Violet Blue's book Ultimate Guide To Cunnilingus for a fun read.

It could also be helpful if you ask your boyfriend for some positive reinforcement afterwards. After all, you're moving into an edge of your comfort zone and you deserve some hugs for that. When you're ready to move on from the oral experimentation, you'll probably feel better about it if he tells you how much he enjoyed it and that he's glad that the two of you are trying it out. If he goes too far and starts seeming pushy about it, that could backfire, so a light touch is better. But that's a really good way to make sure that you end on a positive note.

I hope that this helps. I know that it can be really hard when exploring out things that feel uncomfortable. It's a good idea to stretch enough to give it a serious try without going so far that it's too much. Take it slowly and remember - you want it to be fun!

Dear Poll: Which Leading Lady Is Aging the Most Gracefully?

DearSugar — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 12:01:00 -0700

The face of an actress is the vehicle for a world of emotion, nuance, and communication, yet so many celebrities turn to injections, hormones or the knife in order to appear younger and more marketable. We love that serious actresses like Helen Mirren, Judi Dench, and Vanessa Redgrave remain looking more like themselves and more like us, frankly.

Who among this generation of leading ladies who do you think is aging with dignity and style?

Source

Mighty Hermaphrodite Author on Being Intersex

TresSugar — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Hida Viloria, author of the upcoming book Mighty Hermaphrodite, has an inkling of the pain Caster Semenya's going through. Like the South African runner who was tricked into having her sex verified (she's now in hiding and on suicide watch), Viloria is an intersex person.

Formerly known as hermaphrodites, intersex people, says Viloria, are hard to classify either as male or female. Intersex is a group of conditions where there is a discrepancy between the external and internal genitals and the normally corresponding chromosomal makeup. For example, an intersex person can have female chromosomes and ovaries but have male genitalia. Or, they can have male chromosomes and either ambiguous male genitalia or female genitalia. These are just a couple intersex variations. Hear more about Viloria and what she has to say about Semenya.

Why Do Many Women Like Horror Films?

TresSugar — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 09:00:00 -0700

An interesting New York Times article over the weekend tries to figure out why recent box office returns are showing that more women have been going to see horror films than men.

Film professor Carol Clover had one interesting theory why women like horror films in her book Men, Women and Chainsaws. In many slasher films, she argues, including Halloween and Friday the 13th, there may be many female victims, but there's always one girl left standing (the "final girl") who gets to off the villain in the end.

Diablo Cody, director of the upcoming film Jennifer's Body, a horror-comedy about a female sexpot boy-killer, agrees that's why she loved horror films as a teen. "When I watched movies like ‘The Goonies’ and ‘E.T.,’ " she explained, "it was boys having adventures. When I watched ‘Nightmare on Elm Street,’ it was Nancy beating up Freddy. It was that simple."

Today's hard-core torture porn films may show men and women equally as victims, but folks like Rob Zombie are still baffled as to why women would want to see them. Do you like horror movies? If so, why?