TresSugar

Test Your Nipple IQ!

DearSugar — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Nipples. Both men and women have them, but they're rarely talked about. Here are some questions that are sure to test what you know about this peculiar body part.

Source

Take the quiz

Dodge: Grab Life By The Oviducts?

GiggleSugar — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 13:30:00 -0700

No wonder so many men buy into these big trucks.

Source

Hump Day: Sex Makes Her Uncomfortable

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:30:23 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:
I'm 24 and in my first relationship. I really like the guy, we've been going out for six months, but I get nervous whenever he slips his hand under my underwear. He gets the hint and stops. I don't mind him doing other things (we haven't slept together yet), but I wish I wasn't such a prude. I don't know what he expects and I worry that he will be grossed out, as I only shave/wax the bikini line but not the whole thing. What if he thinks it is ugly? I also don't know what I should expect; he knows I'm a virgin, but I don't know how to speak to him about why I get uncomfortable, and I don't know how to overcome it! I also have a few stretch marks and worry that he will be grossed out by them. Please help?

To read Dr. Glickman's response, read more.

Thank you for sharing this challenging situation. I know that it can be scary to talk about things like this, but these are all really common thoughts.

One of the things that can help when you’re on the edge of your comfort zone is to take it very slowly. It’ll probably help to tell your guy about your discomfort, even if you can’t tell him why it’s there. You could simply say "I have a lot of discomfort around sex." You also might want to do a little solo exploration. It takes the pressure off because there aren’t any partner expectations. Check out the wonderful book Becoming Orgasmic. If you’re looking for tips or ideas for techniques, Tickle Your Fancy is full of suggestions. Once you know a bit more about what you like or dislike, you and your boyfriend might be able to find something that you both like to do.

It’s worth mentioning that vulvas come in all different shapes. (The vulva is the external female anatomy. The vagina is the inside part.) There’s a long history of negative attitudes towards the vulva, but each one is unique and beautiful in its own way. A lot of women have the idea that there’s something wrong with their vulvas because they don’t look like what we see in porn or because they have hair, and I think that’s unfortunate. I strongly recommend getting to know your parts and Scarleteen has a great site about that. It’s geared towards teens, but there's lots of amazing info about sex, bodies, and pleasure.

Another option would be to explore some of these concerns with a therapist. When you have an itch on your back, you need someone else to scratch it. Therapists help us by reaching the spots we can’t reach on our own. Lastly, depending on where you are, you could join a body-image support group. While they tend not to focus on sexuality, they can be an incredibly helpful way to work through our concerns about our bodies and how we (or other people) feel about them.

Working through these challenges isn’t always easy, but it can be very rewarding. Whatever route you choose, I hope you find the pleasure and joy that you deserve.

Hump Day: Where's My G-Spot?

TresSugar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"I have decent enough sex with my boyfriend, but I don't always have an orgasm. I've heard that if my G-spot is stimulated, not only will I have a better chance of having an orgasm, but that it will be more intense. Is this true? Where is the G-spot?"

To hear Dr. Glickman's answer, read more.

Let’s start with a little anatomy.

The G-spot is a relatively small patch of tissue that you can find by inserting a finger into the vagina and curving towards the belly button (upwards if you’re on your back). Many women report that the G-spot is much easier to find if they’re already turned on because it engorges with blood. In fact, some women and their partners find that the G-spot can go from impossible to find to quite prominent during arousal. So start off with something that definitely works for you and then try adding G-spot explorations.

The G-spot surrounds the urethra and some folks find that stimulating it can feel sort of like needing to go to the bathroom. You may find it helpful to go to the bathroom before starting out so that you’ll know that your bladder is empty. Also, some women have discovered that G-spot play can result in female ejaculation. While scientists disagree about female ejaculation, we do know that it’s not urine and is chemically similar to men’s prostatic fluid. This makes sense, since the G-spot and the prostate are quite similar. If you’re concerned about it, put a towel down first so you can relax and enjoy the ride.

As far as whether G-spot play will rock your world or not, I can’t make any promises. Some women adore it and would never choose to have sex without it. Others find it uncomfortable or say that it just doesn’t do anything for them. As always when it comes to sex, your mileage may vary so don’t get stressed out if it doesn’t do much for you.

OK, so how do you actually do G-spot play? First, it may be easier if your boyfriend is the one wielding the fingers. It can be a bit awkward to try to reach it yourself. Some popular techniques include the “come-here” motion, making circles, tapping, stroking, or the “windshield wiper” movement. It may also be more fun if he’s pleasuring your clitoris at the same time, perhaps with his other hand or his mouth. Or you could use a hand or a vibrator on your clit.

If you want to use a toy for the G-spot, try something with a curve or a prominent head since those shapes makes it easier to hit the spot. Here are a few popular ones. Or you might enjoy one of the ”Rabbit” style vibrators.

For more detailed information about the G-spot, I’m a big fan of the DVD The Expert Guide to the G-Spot as well as the book Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot.

If you’re looking for ways to increase your chances of having an orgasm during intercourse, you might find that some G-spot fun as a warm-up improves your odds. Even if G-spot play doesn’t result in an orgasm for you, if it increases your pleasure and arousal, that will probably make it easier to have an orgasm when doing something else. Or you could have a G-spot orgasm before having intercourse, if that works better for you. You could also see if using a vibrator or your fingers on your clitoris during sex does the trick. After all, 70 percent of women report that they need some clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, so you’d be in good company.

Hump Day: I Want to Orgasm Without a Vibrator!

TresSugar — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's new sex advice column! Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

“I'm 22 and have masturbated basically as long as I can remember. It wasn't until getting a vibrator about a year ago that I finally had an orgasm, but I have yet to have an orgasm with my boyfriend without using my vibrator. We've tried missionary, doggy-style, cowgirl, him going down on me - nothing but the vibrator gets me off. I would love to have an orgasm with my boyfriend without the electrical help. Any advice?“ To hear what Dr. Glickman has to say, read more.

Hi,

This is a really common situation - it happens much more often than most people realize. It turns out that some women need to learn how to have an orgasm. Not just in the sense of figuring out what feels good to them, but also in the sense of having their bodies learn how to do it. Fortunately, since you’ve had orgasms with a vibrator, we can probably set aside the different medical reasons that can get in the way.

Most women report that they need some sort of clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, so it’s not a surprise to me that trying different positions hasn’t done the trick. In fact, some women find that the reason that a particular position works for them is that they get clitoral stimulation from their partner’s torso, not because they get deeper penetration. Although you’ve tried lots of different positions, you might find that small things make a big difference - how you position your legs, for example, can have a big effect on how things feel. I can’t say for sure what will work for you since everyone’s a bit different, but one thing you can try is making small adjustments and seeing what that does.

It’s not clear from your question - have you tried using the vibrator while having sex with your boyfriend? For many women, that can be a way to take something that works and connect it with something different. I’ve heard from quite a few women that combining the two for a while eventually made it easier for them to have orgasms without the toy.

You could also try using your vibrator with your boyfriend for a while before shifting to intercourse. The more turned on you get before changing things up, the more likely it is that intercourse will put you over the top. Another option would be for you or your boyfriend to pleasure your clitoris by hand during intercourse. A little bit of lubricant can help with that - I like the silicone-based lubes because they don’t dry out and they’re safe to use with condoms. And if you don’t have an orgasm during intercourse, feel free to grab that vibrator afterwards and enjoy yourself. You can always give it another try next time.

Having said all that, it sounds like you (or you and your boyfriend) might be putting a lot of pressure on the idea of orgasms without a vibrator. Ironically, the more you stress over whether you’ll have an orgasm, the less likely it can be. It’s the female version of performance anxiety creating the very situation you’re trying to keep from happening, just as performance anxiety can lead to erection difficulties for a lot of guys. And in both cases, one of the best ways to respond is to not worry about it. I know that can sound like the line about “don’t think of a pink rhinoceros” but it’s often true that if you can enjoy what you’re doing without getting stuck in the “will it happen this time” loop, you’ll have a lot more fun.

One of the best ways to do that is to do whatever the two of you enjoy without stressing about using a vibrator. If a vibe is what you need at this point in your life to have an orgasm, go for it! It’s really, really likely that you won’t always need it - sexual response changes a lot and you will probably find that in the not-too-distant future, what works for you will be quite different. I’ve spoken with a lot of women who have found that they needed the intensity of a vibrator when they were younger and that when they got a bit older, things were very different. That’s one of the best things about sex: we get to keep trying new things. It’s kind of like food. Your favorite foods will probably also change over time, so you get to try new cuisines. The only thing that’s important is whether you’re enjoying whatever works for you right now.

If you want to do a little reading, there are some books I can highly recommend. I Love Female Orgasm is a fun read that covers pretty much everything - masturbation, partner sex, safer sex, toys, anatomy, and more. There are also lots of useful tips for women in your situation. Orgasms is an excellent guide for folks who want to figure out how to have an orgasm or how to have them more consistently. It’s a great read for partners, too. And Becoming Orgasmic is one of the best on the topic. It’s a bit more text heavy than the first two, but there’s an incredible amount of information there.

So the upshot of all of this is that the more you can relax and enjoy yourself without worrying about whether it’ll happen or not, the more fun you’ll have. And don’t stress about whether there’s something wrong with you - you’re not alone and lots of women have found that practice does, indeed, make perfect. Usually when you least expect it.

Have fun!

GiggleSugar Reader Spotlight: Ashlyn Rose

GiggleSugar — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 15:00:00 -0800

Ashlyn Rose is a little bit snarky and a little bit sweetheart - so natch she's a fan of Giggle! Hey, lady, back atcha!

GS: What’s your motto?
AR: "Eat it, Lick it, Snort it, F*** it." Just kidding, I stole that from Britney. But I would say my motto is "Eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, be nice to others, and try not to complain."

GS: Where are you from?
AS: I'm from Terre Haute, Indiana. Steve Martin once said it was "the armpit of America." He was probably right.

GS: What do you do?
AR: I'm currently a student at Indiana University in Bloomington where I'm majoring in speech-language pathology and psychology. I also work at a bakery where I sell cookies and decorate cakes.

GS: How would you describe your sense of humor?
AR: Intelligent, quick witted, and a little dirty.

GS: What’s your favorite GiggleSugar post?
AR: I love the really bad tattoo posts! I still laugh when I think about "I'M GONNA KILL YOU RAY ROMANO," In all fairness, Ray has it coming. I swear, Everybody Loves Raymond just uses that laugh track to make the audience think it's funny. It really isn't.

GS: Who’s the cutest funny man and funny woman?
AR: Well, best-looking funny woman is obviously myself. But seriously, I'd say Ryan Reynolds. He's been in a few good comedies but his utter hotness makes up for the dramas and action movies he's done lately. Demetri Martin is a close second. For the ladies, I'd say Tina Fey.

GS: Who are your favorite male and female comedians?
AR: Dave Chappelle is my favorite male. There was a time when every college male thought quoting Dave Chappelle was the funniest thing in the world, so there was a period when Dave Chappelle felt really annoying to me. Thank goodness that time has passed. Ellen DeGeneres is my favorite funny lady.

GS: What’s your favorite comedy of all time?
AR: Mean Girls, definitely. 'If you're from Africa, why are you white?" How could you not love that one?

GS: If your life were a comedy, what would it be?
AR: Hopefully not Mean Girls. My life isn't too exciting right now, so I'm just gonna say that if my life could be like any comedy, I would pick The Princess Bride.

GS: Do you look like someone famous?
AR: A drunk guy at a party once told me I looked like "Sandra Jessica Parker." I'm not really sure about that one. I've been told that I look like Michelle Branch, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Maggie Q before.

AR free-for-all: My name is Ashlyn and I'm 22-years-old. I have a dog, Milo Moonshine, who I sent in my very favorite picture of. He's a little crazy but I love him. I spend most of my time in class, at work, studying, or sleeping so I don't have much free time right now. When I do have free time I like to play video games (love my DS!) and watch TV (love Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, Lost, and Project Runway). I'm interested in fashion and crafty stuff (I had a Hobby Lobby addiction for a while but I think I'm over it). When I graduate from school I'd like to do speech therapy with children.

Thanks, Ashlyn Rose!

View 9 Photos ›

(Ashlyn Rose, Milo Moonshine (!), Dave Chappelle, Demetri Martin, Ryan Renolds, Tina Fey, Ellen DeGeneres)

Source