TresSugar

Do Tell: What Are Your Favorite Thanksgiving Traditions?

TresSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 08:00:13 -0800

Thanksgiving is almost here, and it might just be my favorite holiday. Every year my family gets together for a big party at my aunt's house. I always look forward to the classic food like turkey and mashed potatoes, but I also love the dishes specific to my family, like my mom's spicy jalapeno cranberry sauce or the creamed onions made according to my grandma's recipe. After dinner, we all head to the living room hoping to beat our food comas with a spirited game of charades.

These are the traditions that I will be looking forward to all week. What Thanksgiving traditions do you enjoy?

Gender Roles - Love 'Em Or Leave 'Em?

OnSugar Blog — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:10:00 -0800

Here's a poll from OnSugar blog Rantings of a Single Girl.

Let's go back to the 1940s for a minute. My grandmother was married, raised a kid, ran a farm, taught school, and kept a clean house. All while my grandfather was away at war. After my grandfather came back from the war and had recovered from his wounds, they went back into their traditional roles. He ran the farm and did all the "manly" things. My grandmother raised my aunt, taught school, and still had dinner on the table by 5:30 PM every night. All while pregnant with my dad.

I'm exhausted just talking about it.

I bring all this up because I've been thinking about gender roles lately. I look at my parents. Granted, my dad still does majority of the "manly'" things around the house and my mom does the household things, neither one is afraid to help out the other. My dad does housework. My mom can swing a hammer when needed.

And that's what I like.

I'll never be able to date a guy who believes in traditional gender roles. As much as I like cooking and being in the kitchen, I don't like being expected to be there. If we have kids, I'm not going to be the one who raises them. I certainly expect their father to help out. At the same time, I don't expect him the only one who takes out the trash or fixes things when they break. I think 50/50 is a good blend.

So could you be with someone who firmly believes in traditional gender roles? Or would you rather share the load?

Want to see more? Start following Rantings of a Single Girl or start your own OnSugar Blog. Maybe your stories will be posted here on TrèsSugar!

Say What? Nicole Kidman Knows Life's All About Relationships

TresSugar — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:30:03 -0800

“I think that we’re in the world to connect. Because that’s what you’re left with. You’re not left with your house or awards or money, you’re left with the people that you built relationships with.”

- Nicole Kidman tells Ladies' Home Journal that despite all her success, it's the special relationships in her life that are important to her. Right in time for Thanksgiving, this sort of sentiment reminds us to appreciate the things that really matter.

Can Women Have It All?

TresSugar — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:30:17 -0800

A successful career. A loving marriage. Well-loved and well-behaved children. The promise of women's liberation holds that women can have all of this if that's what they want. But one teacher wrote in the Daily Mail yesterday that telling a young girl that she can reach the top of the career ladder and raise a family is passing on nothing more than a fairy tale. This not-so-modern woman thinks:

"The young women we are sending out into the world believe they can have it all - and, if they don't, they will have failed. And what a tragedy that is, because the truth is that modern women can't have it all. They may succeed in their careers and they may succeed as mothers, but to do both at the same time? No, that is not possible without making huge sacrifices which many will find simply too much."

Obviously life is full of compromises and trade-offs, but I don't think that means women have to choose between success outside the home and success inside the home. With a little balance, I think women, just like men, can manage both. What do you think?
Photos courtesy of AMC

Do You Get Excited to See Your Family on Thanksgiving?

TresSugar — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 04:00:29 -0800

Many people consider spending time with family the best thing about Thanksgiving. In our busy lives, we don't find much time to cook, eat, drink, and catch up with loved ones.

Of course, not everyone has dream families - some relatives can be rude, non-accepting, or just generally overwhelming. Since Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away, I want to know if you're looking forward to some quality family time.

Sunday Confessional: She's Jealous of Her Daughter

TresSugar — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 03:00:00 -0700

We're mixing things up this week and taking an anonymous confession from our new Confession Booth group for you all to weigh in on! This confessor finds herself wanting her daughter's suitor.

Am I a bad person? I really liked a guy I work with who is younger than me . . . a lot younger. I invited him over several times and we partied and we eventually became really close friends. I was really sad when I found out that he liked my daughter. I gave my permission for them to date and told them I was "OK" with it when secretly it's breaking my heart. I find myself resenting them. My daughter knew I liked him before she started dating him, so it was a very delicate situation when I found out about their feelings. This is tearing me apart.

What advice would you give her?

Make your anonymous confessions in our new Confession Booth group.

Some Adult Children Divorce Their Toxic Parents

TresSugar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 10:00:00 -0700

You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. This fact of life means that many of us put up with people we might not otherwise get along with.

Yesterday's New York Times examined what happens when certain family members, namely parents, cross the line from imperfect to completely intolerable. Critical, demanding, non-accepting, or verbally abusive parents sometimes prove too toxic to tolerate, leading adults to "divorce" the people who brought them into the world.

While many mental health professionals typically emphasize salvaging relationships, Dr. Richard A. Friedman wrote in the Times column that in certain circumstances, it might be healthier to end the relationship altogether. Dr. Friedman compares cutting off contact with a parent to cutting off a limb in order to save the adult child's life. Painful, but sometimes necessary.

What is the best way to handle toxic parents? Would you avoid them, cut them out completely, or try your best to deal with them?

Skip the Pill: Some Young Women Want to Be Sterilized

TresSugar — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Kerry Balley, 24, is regular woman who knows she never wants to have kids. In today's Daily Mail, Kerry reveals that she plans to be sterilized before her upcoming wedding. She writes:

I can't bear the thought of being tied down, a dependable mother and stable. I admire women who do it, but I've come to terms with the fact that it's just not who I am and I would be completely hopeless at it, not to mention resentful. It's not really a decision I've made, I just know.

There is debate about whether women of a certain age, like Kerry, should be denied permanent sterilization. While some argue that healthcare providers should not help a younger woman do something irreversible that she might later regret, others, like the International Planed Parenthood Federation, say that each woman, regardless of age, should be able to decide whether or not she wants children.

Do you think there should be a minimum age requirement for irreversible procedures like sterilization?

Très Bizarre: Famillies Dressed in Naked Suits

TresSugar — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:45:00 -0700

Thanks to the website Awkward Family Photos, we all know how uncomfortable family portraits can be. But some families are willing to really embrace the awkward nature of a family photo by dressing up in hand-knit naked suits for the occasion.

San Francisco's public television channel recently caught up with artist Anna Maltz, the woman who makes the head-to-toe suits and then takes photos of people wearing them. (I wonder if she also made the suit Sacha Baron Cohen wore at the Berlin premiere of Bruno?)

Anna explains that she got her inspiration from original naked people Adam and Eve. The only downside to wearing the suit? Curious people often feel free to squeeze what they believe to be fake breasts, when they're actually squeezing the real breasts that lie beneath the suits! Would ever try one on for size?

Do You Buy Meg Whitman's Excuse For Not Voting?

TresSugar — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 09:00:00 -0700

Former eBay CEO Meg Whitman wants to be governor of California, but it took her until the age of 46 to register to vote. (Reminder: the voting age is 18!) Whitman has apologized for the 28-year oversight while offering an explanation. She said:

"I was focused on raising a family, on my husband's career, and we moved many, many times. It is no excuse. My voting record, my registration record, is unacceptable."

Registering to vote is somewhat annoying, but it doesn't take that long! And it's a little strange that Whitman, an accomplished businesswoman, is citing her husband's career as one reason for not voting. Then again, Meg Whitman isn't the only candidate to have a spotty voting record. Carly Fiorina, who wants to run for the US Senate, hasn't voted all that often either.

Do you buy Meg's excuse that she was too busy with other priorities, or is this lack of democratic engagement inexcusable for someone who wants to hold elected office?