TresSugar

The Worst Fake I.D. Ever

GiggleSugar — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 14:30:00 -0800

Since when does the DMV let your girlfriend pose with you for your driver's license photo? This is almost as bad as McLovin's fake I.D. in SuperBad.

Thanks, eBaum's World!

Have You Ever Faked an Orgasm?

DearSugar — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 08:00:00 -0700

It's a sad fact that it can take a woman much longer to climax during sex than it can for a man. If we're not that into it from the start, 30 minutes can go by and we're not even close to orgasm. The guy can try every trick he's got to get you excited, but sometimes, it's just not gonna happen.

At this point you have a few choices:

You can try some more and hope for the best.
You can throw in the towel and tell your man to just go for it (there's always next time).
You can let your man finish and then go to the bathroom and take care of it yourself (if you think that may be possible).
Or you can FAKE IT (like Meg Ryan did in the diner in When Harry Met Sally, and make your guy think it was the best sex you've ever had!

Personally, I would have a hard time faking it, not because I think it's wrong, but because I really don't think I could pull it off - knowing me I'd end up laughing in the middle, plus, I wouldn't want to start a trend in the bedroom where I end up having to fake it all the time with my partner never really knowing how to turn me on. So what I want to know is...

Source

You Asked: How Do I Tell Him I Don't Love Him Anymore?

DearSugar — Wed, 14 May 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I have been married for almost five years now. I had my son when I was 18, and then got married the next year at 19. My husband and I have had our fair share of ups and downs; there have been several things in the past that he has done that have hurt me very badly. He used to have an anger-management problem and would yell at me very aggressively - he even locked me outside of our house a couple times when we would get in intense arguments.

In the last year we separated twice, but we always wound up making up however I've never truly forgiven him. I don't love him anymore, and I have no desire to kiss him, let alone sleep next to him. I fake it every day and try so hard to get my heart back into our marriage, but I just don't feel it anymore. I want to tell him how I have been feeling, but I am fearful that he will get angry and this will all backfire on me.

I don't want to be married to him anymore. I am 24 years old, and I just want to experience some of life on my own - with my son, of course. I want to divorce, but I need it to be as peaceful as possible, so that we can both be parents to our son. How do I approach him and tell him how I'm feeling?

-Time to Move On Mandy

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Time to Move On Mandy,

Obviously you and your husband are not without your issues, but it sounds like you've tried to work through them to no avail. I'm glad to hear that you have your son's best interests at heart in regards to a divorce, but with your husband's history of anger and irrational behavior, I think you need to be extra cautious when you approach him about your feelings.

I wouldn't broach the subject until you're absolutely sure about your desire to divorce him, in other words, don't use this as an ultimatum. If you just tell him that you're no longer in love with him, he's likely to act out in rage unless you promise to stay, and you want to be able to stay in control. If you decide that you want to try to make it work for some time longer then I think that you and your husband need to see a family therapist together ASAP.

I wouldn't normally suggest this, but since your husband has shown such hostile behavior before, I'd consider having this conversation in a public place (without your son) so that he can't overreact like he might in the comfort of his own home. I would also use this initial conversation as an opportunity to address your feelings and make sure he understands that you're very serious about leaving. Once you've gotten that out of the way, you can have a follow-up conversation at a later time about the details of the divorce and your son. And make sure to prepare yourself for the worst by lining up a place for you and your son to stay while you can get on your feet. Best of luck to you.

Source

Giggle Links

GiggleSugar — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:00:00 -0700

WomenBehindBars.com and other ill-advised dating sites on the web. - Cracked
Word of the Day: Holidate. - Jezebel
Whoa! Check out these naughty fake American Apparel ads! - Copyranter
Punk-ass cats ignore sign. Is anyone surprised? - I Can Has Cheezburger?
Facebook: Why are these people your friends anyway? - College Humor
Why did we ever do away with The Garbage Pail Kids? I'd hang with "Boozin' Bruce" and "Itchy Richie" any day.- eBaum's World
If you won't have the "sexual being" talk with your kid, Tyra will. - Best Week Ever
Revenge of the male thong. - Break

Mystic Tan Rap

GiggleSugar — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 13:00:00 -0800

If anyone can explain the Mystic Tan phenomenon, I'd love to hear it. I mean, it's good you're not going outside and frying your skin into premature wrinklage, but these spray tans just look dirty to me. And I can only imagine what your sheets and towels look like. Having said that, here are some ladies who ~~sing~~ rap the praises of Mystic Tan: "You call this fake/cuz we don't bake?/I guess you'd rather look old . . ." I guess I'm a hater!

Harsh, Dude!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0800

Oh, man. The Onion can be ruthless. This fake news clip kinda tells it like it is, I gotta say. Online dating SUCKS. I'd rather be rejected by someone I have the hots for in the real world than some loser online, though. That's what passes for optimism these days, folks - Happy one-day-before Valentine's Day!

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 10:00:00 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

I buckled my seat belt, lowered the shade, and put my eye mask story short, they join the mile high club when he realizes that she's his first girlfriend with a major makeover. (I'm talking complete overhaul, from Susie Bookworm to Bunny McBoobie). Of course I don't find out about this until my wedding night, when I dump his sorry butt instead of having a night of romance and rapture....so I'm in Cancun alone and heartbroken, when I decide, screw Cancun, it's full of American tourists. I need to get away from everyone involved with my wedding day. That's why I booked this flight to Thailand. I'm dying to see the beaches where the movie the Beach was filmed. If only I could find Leo waiting there for me. Although I knew I should be using this time for some much needed self reflection, I again said screw that -- I need to start having some fun. I can't sit around and mope the entire time I am in Thailand, I need to LIVE! My first day on the beach, I cozied up at the bar at my hotel, ordered a Sing Ha when a Taye Diggs dead ringer said, "I don't mean to bother you but can I buy you a drink?"

Immediately, my mind floated to that movie with Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale. If I said yes to this guy, would he later put cocaine in my backpack and watch me get arrested and thrown in a Thai jail? Then I remembered the second Bridget Jones. Can't be all that bad can it? I looked Taye Diggs' doppelganger straight in the eyes and said, "I'd love a sex on the beach." With a devilish smile, and a suppressed laugh, he ordered, and winking at the waiter, said, "don't keep this lady waiting!" I was so flattered, and a girlish wave of excitement came over me, and just as I was thinking about how the day I dump my fiance I meet a new man, my drink came, and my elbow knocked it off the counter and onto his shoes until his girlfriend walks up. and says "What the Hell is going on here" in the snottiest tone of voice known to man.

I was extremely embarrassed from the spilled drink and she took my flushed cheeks as a sign of hanky panky between us. She launched into a rant about how he never respects her and this is why they are breaking up for the last time. She then turned on her heels and walked off. He said to me "sorry you had to witness that" Well that totally killed the mood so I said, "yeah, me too, but you'd better go after her." Seeing his girlfriend's retreat reminded of my own recent retreat, and I didn't want to trade one liar for another. "Excuse me, I said" and carried my new drink onto the beach. I was ready for some alone time and a nice walk, but it wasn't in the cards. Within minutes, a little boy wondered up to me "you buy pearls from me" he said with a huge smile on his face and held up some poorly strung plastic beads. "how old are you?" i asked him. "special deal! just for you!" he says, waving the beads around as if they are mystical. "no beads" I say "but here's $20. go home now it's late". he considers the money for a moment and then runs off without so much as a thank you. "come back here!" i hear a woman call "you no good little thief!" she looks after the boy and says to me "did he sell you MY PEARLS!?" I play dumb "who?" she doesn't bite "I saw you talking to that little thief!" "oh he was only a boy" I say. she runs after him, screaming about her precious pearls. "thank you" I hear from the boy as he scurried off. I looked down at myself, my hair was a mess, I smelt like tanning oil from being at the pool all day and I definitely needed a shower. I decided to call it a quits and began walking back to my hotel room when I think my heart may have stopped.I mean an abrupt stop at what I could have sworn was the hottest man in all of Thailand. He was on his cell phone and had a bag over his shoulder; it looked like he was just checking in. It took me about 30 seconds to realize that I had been standing there staring at him like a fan to brad pitt. I immediately snapped out of it and began walking towards my destination (elevators) which coincidentally happened to be right by him. As I swayed over in the most feminine walk I could stir up...whisked my hair over my shoulder and got ready to flash a smile, I noticed. a gold band around his left ring finger. As I felt the crushing blow, he looked over at me and grinned. His teeth were shining white, which only made my disappointment grow. I hurried toward the elevators, and pressed the button that would summon the machine. I waited, shifting my weight from side to side, I looked over and the man with the ring stood next to me. I could smell his expensive cologne wafting over and I nervously pressed the button again. He leaned toward me. "Do not be swayed by the ring." He whispered in a heavy accent. "It is my grandfather's wedding ring. When he died, he left it to me. It's the only finger it fits on, deceiving I know but it let's me weed out the good girls from the bad ones.

After letting out a huge sigh of release, to myself of course, I knew I had to act fast. "I am glad you said something, I was beginning to think all the good ones were taken". Did I really just say that, I thought to myself, without even knowing this mans name? "My name is Phoebe by the way" as I reached out my hand He smiled widely, took my hand, and gave me a steady, firm handshake. "Hmm..." I thought. "Now, this seems like a real respectable man." As the elevator doors opened, he motioned his hand for me to go first. I smiled, and we entered a very crowded elevator, full of people that smelled like musty water. Suddenly, e whispered into my ear, "can I buy you a drink after I drop off my bags?" Without thinking twice, I replied, "meet you in the lobby in 30!" Before he had a chance to respond, the elevator doors opened on my floor, I winked a goodbye, and ran down the hallway to my room so I could jump in the shower and make a quick change. So, I'm in and out of the shower lickadee-split, running around the room furiously getting ready when I stop and think "this is too good to be true." Um, yeah, wait a second, that's exactly what it is, it's too good to be true. Something seemed a little off about that whole interaction. Oh well, cest la vie! I have nothing to lose. Just as I'm throwing on my shoes and praising myself for getting ready so fast, I see that the message light on the phone in my hotel room is blinking. Hmmmm, that's strange, no one knows I'm here. So I pick up the phone to listen to the message, and it is the wrong number. I transfer the message back to the front desk and head out the door. As I stroll through the lobby I see he is not there. I sit in a chair, again contemplating if this is a good idea. I just ran away from a big mistake minutes before I was to walk down the isle. All of my family is probably wondering where I am and what happened. I decide to stroll back to the lobby looking at the industrial and downtown scenery. Telling myself: I wish it wasn't this complicated, but i guess i'll be patient." While i was looking at the scenery, i finally spotted her walking with a midnight blue gown with cobalt blue heels that make me think of her as the universe in the night that glitter with stars. I was suddenly hypnotize but thought, wow I didn't realize Angelina Jolie is here at this hotel. I wonder if she is doing a photo shoot or baby shopping. As I watched her from afar, I felt someone touch my arm. I turned suddenly to see the guy from the elevator standing by my side. "You ready for that cocktail, Phoebe?" He says, his voice soothing, deep, and sexy. I smile and say, "Absolutely" only once i got halfway into the word I burped! Seriously? omg. I felt my face burning from the shade of red it is, and then he burps too. I immediately had to suppress a giggle. I said "Well, excuse us both" and I held is arm as we walked to the bar. I couldn't quit thinking he must be a nice guy to immediately come to my aid like that. But I must keep a clear head. we just met! I just left someone at the altar and these thoughts i am having about a total stranger are ridiculous. I let go of his arm as we take a seat. Immediately our eyes met and something about them told me he was kind. He smiled as he reached across the table to brush the hair from my eyes. "Thank you" I mumbled, unable to fully comprehend what was happening to me. "So, tell me your story Phoebe",I beamed inside and thought, ME...he wants to know about ME. Just then he started to tell me about his Thai dance troop. He asked if I had ever danced or worn a costume. I told him never and he said I looked like just the kind of girl to play the part of the monkey in his troop. He even ordered a banana drink for me. Just as I was ready to accept, my cell phone rang. It was so loud it made me jump. It was none other than my devious, once-fiance.

I saw a look of disappointment on my date's face as I said "Just one second. I'll be right back, Aaron." I answered the call and exasperatedly said, "What? What is it now?" The fiance from hell replied "Phoebe, I.. I need some help I think you had my return ticket in your bag. My flight home leaves later today and I can't find it anywhere." "Just like, you," I sniped, "only calling when you need something. And anyway, what if I do have it? How is that going to help you get out of town today?" "Good point," he said, "and Phoebe, I didn't call because I lost my ticket. I called to say I love you and I'm an idiot and, well." "That's all well and good, but it's over," I said. "Have a nice life, I'll leave your ticket at the front desk."

Jerk.

As I hung up the phone I realized, wait, he has no idea where I am so leaving it at the front desk isn't going to be doing him any good.. oh well, to hell with him, I need to move on, and the one I want to move on with is sitting at my table inside. I walked back to my table and sat next to my lovely stranger. "Is everything alright?" he asked with utter sincerity 'Everything is great! I am ready for that drink!' Then I proceeded to tell him a little about myself. I did not talk about the past few days because I had decided if this went any further it would just be a vacation fling.

After 4-5 drinks he suggested dinner. I agreed and we walked the 2 blocks to this fabulous seafood restaurant. he walk to the restaurant with Aaron felt so natural. Laughing, and walking arm and arm, it was picture-esque I suppose you could say. The warm night and lamp-lit sidewalks only added to the dream-like, two-block walk. We finally arrived at the restaurant. The ambiance was filled with the buzz of busy chatter, the clang of silverware to plates, and the exotic mingling of spices mixed in with oysters, prawns, and catfish. We sat down to dinner and began what ended up being a very pleasant evening. We danced under the stars to a live jazz band at "Chandra's"(the local hot spot) enjoyed each other's walk down memory lane, and finally shared a passionate, yet respectful display of affection until Aaron finally walked me to my room. No sooner had I opened the door when all of a sudden my cell phone rang again. It was the loser in Cancun that had no ticket! He seemed like he really missed me at this point but who wouldn't being in a foreign country alone and with a hurricane coming. No ticket, no passport, no wedding; too bad he was such a creep to me. Now he must be thinking I would be suckered into whatever was up his sleeve. I stared at my phone for a second and flipped it open, "Yes?" "Phoebe, come on. You gotta forgive me. I just need my damn ticket and you're being selfish not letting me have it."

"Oh well, I don't even know how to send it to you. Why don't you just buy a new one? I don't have time for this." I snapped then paused for a moment. "...And selfish? I'm not selfish. I'm not the one who went stir crazy and joined the mile-high club with some prissy, fake breasted airline stewardess!" The rest of the conversation was him babbling, and finally I told him I'd end this civilly. I told him I didn't want him trying to contact me anymore. And I hung up.

"Sorry about that again... although this is a lot to take for one night, I really hope my ex isn't changing your opinion of me. I had a wonderful time with you tonight, it was actually the right time in, wow, so long I can't even begin to pin point it, where I actually had fun! Thank you."

"Phoebe, I think your delightful, and no, this night only made me respect you more. Goodnight, I also had a wonderful time with you, can we do it again tomorrow night? I would love to see you again."

A rush of emotion fell over my entire body as I replied, "Absolutely, I would love to see you again. Sleep well and I will see you tomorrow."

Needless to say, I slept like a baby.....

Group Therapy: When siblings are too close, is there room for a girlfriend?

Wed, 09 May 2007 03:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend of 2 years is extremely close to his younger sister. They mostly only had each other while growing up, so as young adults they stick together and are very tight. As a result, when they are together, no one else exists in their private little world. As an outsider (and an only child), I understand the need for this and believe I have no feelings of animosity or jealousy towards them and their closeness. I simply step out of the way and try to entertain myself. We do not live near his sister, and they see each other only a few times a year. So again, I feel it's ok to be the third wheel during the few times they can be together.

Click here to

However, my birthday is coming up, and we had planned a full vacation weekend of going out to see big new movie one night, and then spending the following day at an amusement park. I made what now appears to be a mistake, suggesting to my boyfriend that he invite his sister to come along, hoping she would also bring a friend so she'd have someone to hang out with, meaning I wouldn't have to sacrifice my boyfriend during my own birthday plans.

Unfortunately, the number of tickets for the movie have already been purchased and are limited, so as of right now, there's no extra ticket for his sister to bring a friend. We would be stuck as a threesome, which in truth means I would be stuck without a boyfriend. In my head I foresaw the weekend as turning miserable for me, because I'd have to spend both days doing fun things like going on amusement park rides without a partner, which is in fact no fun at all.

I mulled over what I could do, and ultimately decided that the adult and "bigger person" thing to do would be to step down, and tell my boyfriend that he and his sister should go and have a fun time for the weekend, and I'll stay at home (spending my birthday alone, with nothing to do). I told him I didn't expect him to understand as he's always had a sibling and I never have, but pointed out that whenever they are together that I no longer exist, and since they rarely can be together, I would rather they hang out and I stay home, rather than going through the embarrassment of uninviting his sister, as he immediately proposed. It turned into a quasi-blowout, him throwing a fit because it was supposed to be my birthday party and present, and me admitting to him that I'd rather be upset over the situation now than actually be there, not having said anything and being unable to fake how miserable I would be.

My question is: Did I do the right thing? Have any of you had to deal with your significant other being more close to his sibling than he is to you?

I'm still learning every day how to handle it, and I'm worried that I've said and done the wrong thing.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

You Asked: Is It Wrong to Masturbate While I'm Married?

DearSugar — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I have been married for almost two years. In the beginning the sex was great but it always seemed it was only when he wanted it. At first I thought it was like that since I lived with my parents we didn't have as much alone time, but now we've been married for a year and I don't climax when we have sex. I feel like he really doesn't care if I get pleasured or not. (he even says he wishes I would fake it!)

Not only do we not have sex for days, even weeks, but when we do it's not what I expect. The other day I started to initiate sex and we ended up doing nothing so I went to the shower and started to pleasure myself. Well I didn't lock the door and he caught me and I felt really guilty. I didn't even get to finish and once again I was sexually frustrated. He didn't mention anything about it later, but why do I feel so bad? And why didn't he see this as a sign that he is not giving me what I need? I have even tried telling him directly before, but hate to bring it up again and again. So is it wrong to pleasure myself?

--Sexually Frustrated Fran

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Sexually Frustrated Fran--

You have every right to pleasure yourself whenever you please and as many times as you want - even if your husband was pleasuring you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating. What's wrong is that you're having to do it because your husband isn't giving you that kind of attention - I'd be totally frustrated and angry too.

Everyone is different and your husband just may not be the kind of person that needs sex that much. Or is he stressed about work? He may be unsure of how to pleasure you, which could in turn make him feel self-conscious about having sex with you. Some guys are turned off by the fact that it takes women a much longer time to climax, so he may not want to put forth the effort. Whatever the reason is, this has got to change or else you are going to end up resenting him, which could ruin your relationship.

Communication is key so express to him how important sex is to you. Since telling him how you feel doesn't help, try to initiate sex more. When it does happen, make it a really positive experience by giving him the reinforcement he might need. You've got to build back his self-esteem and make him think he's an excellent lover. If he feels good about what happens in the bedroom, he'll be more apt to want to do it more. I hope this helps!

Source

Career advice needed - Is being nice a bad thing? It used to be the reason for my success, and now it's keeping me from it?

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 20:07:10 -0800

About 8 years ago, I cocktail waitressed at a nightclub, and made AWESOME money doing so. I was also 19 yrs. old. After 1 1/2yrs. of working there, and having no health benefits, I decided it was time to get a job that offered more.

I got a job working in an office, which also paid well, and had excellent benefits. I started in customer service, then got into sales, and eventually became the office manager. While my job was stressful, I was GOOD at it. And the customers made it all worth the hard work. I fell in love with the customers. Everyone there loved me. I really would go the extra mile for people, and was always honest and sincere. I was at the top of my "career", I guess you could say, mostly due to my customer service skills.

After working at the office for about 7 years, my husband and I ended up having to move due to his job relocation. It was time for me to find a new job. Originally I had wanted to go for the casino host position at the casino, since I figured I LOVED working with people, so this job would be perfect for me. And I know how to handle stress, so that wasn't even a worry. And I am GREAT at dealing with people, even in difficult situations. So many friends and family tell me I just "have a way" with people.

Instead of applying for the casino host position, like I should have, I took a lower paying job at the casino first, but in the same department, to learn the system, figuring in time I could move up to casino host and then that way I'd already know half of my job duties. I thought this was a GOOD idea.

It didn't work. While the customers loved me at the casino, the corporate "big wigs" thought I was "too nice". I stayed in this position for about 9 months. When I first got the job, I told my boss the only reason I was taking this job was so I could learn the system so I could be a better casino host. She KNEW I was there to become a casino host. And she was ok with that, as she also ran all the casino hosts.

It was time for me to go for it. My boss informed me she'd let me shadow an actual casino host. That never happened. We were always too busy. I was doing great at this job, it was a piece of cake...brainless, really. I learned the system quickly. I wanted more though, I wanted a challenge. I wanted to become a host!!! My boss literally informed me that I'm "just too nice, so we need to work at that first, before anything".

It put me in tears that day. I KNOW I could do this job. I could probably even run circles around the others...but for some reason, my kindness kept me from advancing. I was really upset. How could something, like BEING NICE, be a BAD thing?!?! Something that put me at the TOP of the ladder at my old job, was now pulling me down to the bottom at my new job.

I know if I would have just gone for the casino host position in the first place, they wouldn't be able to judge me, and I'd land it just fine. But I made the wrong decision...thinking it was the better thing to do first. To get experience.

Anyhow, I can't change who I am. I AM nice. I love people, I'm honest, sincere, hardworking, and far from fake. And customers appreciate it. SO many of the customers at the casino even filled out comment cards, LITERALLY saying how they should make me the new casino host!!! SO many cards were recieved. My boss even showed me. But it just didn't matter...because, "I'm too nice". I ended up quitting that job...after 9 months. My husband hurt himself and was off work, so I had to take care of him. But now it's time for me to go back to work.

I can't get the phrase "too nice" out of my head though. I used to have SO much confidence in myself, and now I shutter at the idea of going somewhere new, in fear I will again, waste my time and be told "I'm too nice" when it's time to advance.

I have SO many dreams...I KNOW I can do it, deep inside, because I have a passion for working with people, but now I have such low confidence from what my old boss told me. It's terrible.

Please help...I'm seriously thinking of just going back to waitressing...which was my first love. But I'm 28 now. And while I'm not bad shape, I have gained more weight since being off work taking care of my husband, and don't have the "body" like I used to, back in my old cocktailing days. So I don't fit into the "skinny cocktail waitress" group at all the clubs these days...lol. Not that I care, but in that industry, "sex sells". But I don't fit into those tight little clothes anymore...lol.

However, at least waitressing I wouldn't have to deal with the corporate politics and their crappy view of what "good enough" is. I refuse to be anything else but who I am. But is being who I am a bad thing? Nice? Is nice really so bad? I KNOW I can be something special...but it's almost too easy to just go waitress again. Afterall, it's good money, and I get benefits through my husband's job. I'm so lost. Please, any advice, would be great! Sorry so long!