TresSugar

Introducing: Fail Dogs

GiggleSugar — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:00:00 -0800

LOLCats has taken the Internets by storm, but they bettr watch out. There's a new breed of funny in town and they ain't in the mood to play games. . .cuz they never really win anyway. Forget all them fancy misspellings and talk of cheezburgers, cuz Fail Dogs do it differently. They fail. At just about everything. For more, visit Fail Dogs.

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Front Page: The Obamas Unveil The Family Dog

CitizenSugar — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:56:09 -0700

The Obama family unveiled its latest edition - Bo the Portuguese Water Dog - yesterday at the White House. - PetSugar
American taxpayers in over 300 locations are holding "tea party" rallies to protest higher taxes and high government spending. - Wall Street Journal
Somali pirates failed to board a second US cargo ship, after they attacked it with missiles and automatic weapons. - BBC News
Happy tax day! A Senate report shows that the US loses $100 billion a year in tax revenue to offshore tax havens. - Huffington Post
NASA has decided to name a treadmill on the international space station after Stephen Colbert, after he won the naming contest for a new room. The room will be called "Tranquility." - CNN

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Front Page: Turkish Airlines Crash Kills Nine in Amsterdam

CitizenSugar — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 07:40:41 -0800

A Turkish Airlines passenger plane crashed in Amsterdam today. Nine of the 134 people aboard were killed. - Reuters
US stocks fell this morning, after President Obama's speech to Congress failed to rally the markets. - Reuters
Iran tested its first nuclear power plant today. An Iranian technician declared it Iran's "independence day." - CNN
Michelle Obama has revealed that the White House dog will be coming in April. - MSNBC
Last night when MSNBC cut to Bobby Jindal's response, someone with a live mic was overheard saying "Oh, God." - Huffington Post

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You Asked: How Do I Kick My Roommate Out?

DearSugar — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My roommate moved to Seattle (my town) from Indiana at the end of June after I had secured a lease on an apartment. We had never met before, except online through a mutual hobby. She moved in time to go to an interview for a job she did not end up getting. A month went by before she found work, leaving me to pay the rent in its entirety, with the agreement that she'd pay me back once she found a job. Meanwhile, as she sat at home looking for a job all day, she did nothing to clean the apartment. I would come home from work, do the dishes, clean up the place, make dinner, and then go to bed. Rinse, repeat.

She finally got a job, and then lost it three weeks later. This was not her fault, but regardless, it has been three weeks since she lost her job and she still does not have another. Not even a minimum wage job to tide her over until she finds a web design job she wants. And yet again, she fails to do anything around the apartment.

I can't stand the fact that I'm living with someone I find to be irresponsible. In addition to the lack of cleaning, lack of job, and lack of ability to pay rent on time, I hate her dog. I walk in every night and the dog is all over me. She doesn't do anything to stop it, so I always feel like the bad guy for disciplining it. We are both on the lease. I've already inquired about switching roommates and the landlord said it wouldn't be a problem, but how do I tell her I want her out? She has no money and no job, but I'm simply miserable! - At My Wits End Emma

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear At My Wits End Emma,

Yikes, your situation really does sound miserable. While I understand helping your roommate once, there's absolutely no reason why you should be carrying the weight yet again, so it's time to put your foot down and be firm with her. Everyone knows it's a difficult time to find a job, but she's a grown adult who should have planned for this, or at least gotten a part-time job in the meantime so she can pay her share of the bills.

This woman has not been taking your feelings into consideration, and while I don't feel that two wrongs make a right, I think you should concentrate on yourself right now. Your home needs to be a place where you're comfortable, and your roommate has to be someone you trust and who respects your living space; she clearly doesn't fit that model.

If I were you, I'd just be honest with her. Tell her that it's simply not working out and you no longer want to live together. If she puts up a stink, be aware that you might be the one that has to move since both your names are on the lease. Regardless of who gets the actual apartment, it's very clear that you two are not meant to be roommates. In order to salvage your relationship (if you even want to), I suggest you broach the subject as soon as possible, because something has got to give! Good luck.

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Batman and Bush - Actually More Alike Than Knight and Day?

CitizenSugar — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:15:55 -0700

If you caught The Dark Knight already, you might want to go back for a second look - did you know you may have been watching a flick all about George W. Bush? According to this WSJ op-ed, it's true:

There seems to me no question that the Batman film The Dark Knight, currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war.

The piece alleges that all movies with conservative values are fantasy flicks like 300 and that conservatives need to confront issues from their view point head-on. In current realistic depictions of terrorism:

The good guys become indistinguishable from the bad guys, and we end up denigrating the very heroes who defend us . . . Doing what's right is hard, and speaking the truth is dangerous.

So Bush wins and he's a hero? Is he George "Caped Crusader" Bush? Perhaps, it's not such a great thing. To see why, read more.

Resident expert Buzz concurs that The Dark Knight is indeed an allegory for our time, but our time is complicated:

We're reminded that sometimes evil simply exists for no good reason. It taps into a very real, basic, and horrible fear: that in this world where terrorism could lurk anywhere, where chaos and war and murder exist, we struggle continuously to figure out "why?"

The WSJ argues that Batman is Bush precisely because he's shown in dogged pursuit of evil, that it's the mark of a true hero. Though if one takes that argument in the whole scope of the movie, perhaps the Bush/man comparison isn't so flattering?

Batman spends the movie thinking he can conquer the Joker because he has faith in the clear definition between good and evil - and to this end, he utterly fails. Batman misunderstands the evil. There is no success to be had in Gotham using his plan. As Batman spirals into his quixotic quest for the Joker, he turns on everyone around him, spying and wiretapping his way to paranoia.

Though perhaps the comparison between the two is accurate, maybe it's not as flattering a depiction as the piece would like. But in the end, maybe Batman isn't Bush - maybe he's all of us.

That said, can you tell the difference between the two?

Is Bush really like Batman?

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Just Pet the Dog, Dammit!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Buster spends his whole day being man's best friend; is a little reciprocity asking too much? He thinks not. So when he doesn't get the love and attention he deserves, Buster busts out his no-fail secret weapon. Here's how it goes: Don't bark, just look. Look as sad and needy as one manipulative and profoundly pushy dog can possibly manage. And then wait for it, wait for it . . .

Headline of the Day

GiggleSugar — Wed, 28 May 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Airport Bungle Gives Passenger $10,000 in Drugs

Somewhere in Tokyo, a passenger who just got off his flight is either really stoked, or like, totally wigging, man. Seems a dumb police officer decided to stuff $10,000 worth of some fine cannabis into an unsuspecting passenger's bag as a test for his drug-sniffing dog. Well, Fido failed, and "the officer also forgot which bag he put it in," a customs office spokeswoman said. Ruh roh! "If by some chance passengers find it in their suitcase," some wishful thinker said, "we're asking them to return it." Good luck! The airport's customs chief said the situation was "deeply regrettable." Hmmm, I think it really all depends on who opened up their suitcase. Click here to read more about these KeyStoned cops.

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GiggleSugar Reader Spotlight: Colormesticky

GiggleSugar — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 15:00:00 -0700

Today's GiggleSugar spotlight shines on colormesticky. Combining the yin of sweet with the yang of snark, colormesticky's comments never fail to entertain. Read more about this funny animal lovin' lady! And be sure to view the gallery of images after the interview.

GS: What's your motto? CMS: I don’t really have a mantra or motto that I live by, but if I did it would probably be something along the lines of “I’ll try anything once if it won’t get me arrested.”

GS: Where are you from? CMS: I was raised in Oregon, but I moved to LA when I was 19 and I’ve been here ever since. I’ve been trying to convince my husband we should move, and maybe one day I’ll be victorious. I miss my family, and I miss having seasons.

GS: What do you do? CMS: The main reason I moved to LA was to be a professional makeup artist. I had six years of theatrical experience and went to school for special effects, then I realized I wasn’t willing to starve for my art. I worked at a bookstore for about three years, decided I wanted benefits and more money, and became an admin at a large corporation. I’ve been doing it for two and a half years, and I’m totally digging benefits, steady work, and being home by 5:00.

GS: How would you describe your sense of humor? CMS: Pleasantly eccentric.

GS: What's your favorite GiggleSugar post of all time? Your least? CMS: I’m kind of biased--my favorite is my Auggie dog’s Pet of the Week post. I love Pet of the Week, and I love most of the animal stuff. And I heart Mocha the broccoli-eating hamster! My least favorite is still that scary dog-boyfriend thing from way back when. (GS: Banner ad.) *Shiver* That ad still creeps me out.

GS: Who's the cutest funny man and woman? CMS: There are a few guys--I love Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Bill Engvall. As for a woman, I’ll go with Ellen DeGeneres. She’s hilarious and adorable, and she does it without being mean or foul.

GS: Favorite male and female comedian? CMS: Male--probably Eric Idle. I saw him speak a couple years ago, and he’s just as absurd in person. Female--Madeline Kahn. My God, was she ever funny. (GS: I totally agree with you there. She was genius in Young Frankenstein!)

GS: What's your favorite comedy of all time? CMS: Most of my favorite movies are comedies. It’s pretty hard to pick just one. I guess depending on what kind of mood I’m in, I’d say either Army of Darkness, The Princess Bride, or The Big Lebowski.

GS: If your life were a comedy, what would it be? CMS: Either an episode of South Park or The Red Green Show. Fart jokes and duct tape, that about sums it up. My brother tells me it would me more like Scrubs: “Dysfunctional and obnoxious, yet caring and devoted”. He would so be Carla.

GS: Do you ever get told you look like someone? CMS: Not anymore, but when I was younger I was always told I looked like Alanis Morisette. The first time I chopped off my hair I looked like Annette Bening.

Sticky's Free For All: My pets are my family. If you don’t want to make your pet part of your family, you probably shouldn’t have a pet. They are not playthings for amusing you or your kids- animals have feelings too. To ignore them is more than thoughtless. It’s cruel. Don’t get it if you’re not going to pay attention to it. If you do get something and it ends up being a mistake, don’t be too proud to admit defeat and let it go to someone who will make it part of the family. It will save both you and the animal a world of unhappiness. If you want something cute and fuzzy that you don’t have to train or spend time with, put out feeders for birds or squirrels. In the meantime, I think your dog wants to come in. ☺

GS: When are other GiggleSugar readers free to chat with you? CMS: Any time. I’m online at work (shhhh!) and occasionally at night. I haven’t been in the chat room in quite a while, but I always respond to private messages and check my guest book.

GS: Thanks, colormesticky!

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(Sticky and Auggie; Hubby with the boys; brother pulling her in wagon after wedding ("I know, classy!"); "There's a long line if you want to shower at my house." Dewey makes a crazy face; Jon Stewart; Stephen Colbert; Bill Engvall; Ellen DeGeneres; Eric Idle.)

GiggleSugar Best of the Week

GiggleSugar — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 04:01:00 -0800

Tanning and rapping: Two become one.
Kitties: All dressed up with nowhere to purr.
The most horrific, pathetic, disgusting, amusing, nauseating, angering, and downright repulsive moment to ever shame our TV screens.
Tyra Banks smells Janet Jackson's armpit. No lie, cross my heart, and hope to cry.
Some rich dumbass on The Millionaire Matchmaker asked a chick to marry him . . . on the first date.
Fail Dogs: A winning idea.
When (and if) this ever hits theaters, I'm there!
Parental love: lost and found. I warn you, waterproof mascara is a must!
You won't look at an M&M the same way ever again.

Debate Rebate: Democrats Get Personal

LibertySugar — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 13:05:52 -0800

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton got feisty at last night’s debate. On Dr. King’s holiday, the issue of race, previously dogging the candidates, provided fewer fireworks than the onslaught of some brand new personal attacks.
Some highlights - Obama challenged Clinton's dedication to the poor:

While I was working on those streets watching those folks see their jobs shift overseas, you were a corporate lawyer sitting on the board at Wal-Mart.

Next, he went after Bill Clinton, implying that the Clinton machine has been dishonest, and venting that he “can’t tell who [he's] running against sometimes.”

Hillary took some swipes, too, accusing Obama of representing a "slumlord" when he was a lawyer in Chicago, and accused the Illinois senator of not answering for his record. The Clinton-Obama exchanges let Edwards appear as an issue-focused candidate:

This kind of squabbling - how many children is this going to get health care? We have got to understand this is not about us personally.

Amen, John! For more on the democratic heat in South Carolina, read more!

The candidates also pointed to a few policy differences. Hillary charged Obama with straying from a central democratic tenant - universal health care. Together, Hillary and John, claimed that Barack’s plan fails to cover all Americans, which Barack hotly denied (check out powerful video of that exchange below). Obama's plan guarantees affordable health care without requiring everyone to buy it.

As for who won the debate, it’s tough to say, but Obama may have more to lose by turning negative and personal. If Hillary can get him off his positive message of hope, he will begin to look like any other politician. When given a chance to speak, Edwards stayed on message, this time hounding Obama more than Hillary. As for Hillary, she continues to demonstrate that she is a wizard for policy and details; but, I’m not sure if her personal attacks come off as shrill or dishonest.

Who do you think won?

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