TresSugar

Flashback: 30 Years Ago Today, The Fonz Jumped A Shark

GiggleSugar — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:43:04 -0700

What the hell am I talking about, you ask? Well, serendipity would have it that I was talking to someone about the expression "jumping the shark" today. This term comes from the infamous moment on September 20, 1977, when "The Fonz" from "Happy Days" donned his famous leather jacket, went water skiing, and jumped a shark on his skis. TV critics and anyone with taste or brains realized this was the moment the show had finally killed itself; the moment the original premise of the show was so betrayed, its vision having veered so off course, that there was no point going on. And it's used now to describe the moment that anything betrays its original purpose. And what do you know, it was thirty years ago to the day. Freaky, man.

Join TrèsSugar's Most Popular Groups!

TresSugar — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Our most popular group may be the anonymous and answer-ready Group Therapy, but these others - many that you made - aren't far behind. Post pictures that express your state of mind on the Mood Gallery; discuss your latest under-the-covers read on books and shoes's Sensual Reads; get real answers to explicit questions on legallyblonde's Sex 101; find a laugh at DesignRchic's Funny Farm; and get inspired at Fashionsugar's Inspiration of the Day group.

Group Therapy	Mood Gallery	Sensual Reads
Sex 101	Funny Farm	Inspiration of the Day

Learn more about Très's growing community, including how to join and start groups, here.
Source: Flickr Users haaley, bored-now, quinn.anya, and basheertome

Awkward! He Liked Me Until He Saw My Facebook Page

TresSugar — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Thanks to a reader with an issue (sorry, reader!), we have an awkward scenario for you that she needs you to weigh in on.

I met a guy on a matrimonial website (a little different from a regular dating website as the intention is for long-term relationships leading to marriage). Anyway he and I exchanged pics (he lives in a different city), and liked what we saw of each other so started texting and calling each other. It only lasted a month or so but he definitely expressed interest as I initiated first contact and all contact thereafter was initiated by him. So two weeks ago, he asked if I could add him to Facebook. Normally, I’m not comfortable with adding people I don’t know that well but I went with my gut feeling added him. Once I did, I saw that he’s very family oriented. Almost all his pics were of him with his family etc. I felt self-conscious of mine because a lot of my pics were from a few years ago, when I was a bit of a party girl. I’m still a social person, but I don’t really go clubbing much etc. now and I was concerned that my profile only reflected the me from a few years ago. Since I added him, we still have contact after but it seems to have scaled back significantly. He used to call or text every few days and now I haven’t heard from him in a week. How should I handle this?

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NYC Sells Subway Station Names - Savvy or Selling Out?

TresSugar — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 04:00:00 -0700

New York's MTA decided a long time ago that it would try to sell the naming rights to the city's subway stops, but it finally found someone willing to pay up. London-based bank Barclays has offered $4 million to add its name to Brooklyn's Atlantic Avenue/Pacific Street station. The name will officially change when the upcoming sports center, also called Barclays Center, opens in 2012.

We've long forgotten the days when stadiums and arenas were named after their locations, but subway stations? New Yorkers better be prepared to see a Miracle Whip sign on the 34th Street station or get ready to take an express train to Taco Bell Avenue.

Do you have a problem with corporations invading public space or is this a good way to subsidize the taxpayers' burden of paying for public transportation?

Photo by WalkingGeek

What Was Your Worst Summer Job?

TresSugar — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Before we all get the fabulous jobs that express our personalities and true abilities - we often have to suck it up in crap jobs.

Yes, they help us build character. Yes, we learn how to budget small amounts of money, learning the valuable fiscal lesson that no amount of saving will buy us a trip to Paris and allow us to purchase our dream wardrobes on a part-time, minimum-wage salary. And the most important lesson of all is we learn how to be employees - dealing with annoying bosses, rude customers, and weird co-workers.

I wore many hats as a teen. I served cocktails (yes, you can do that legally in Texas even if you're not old enough to drink); I slaved in a fast-food joint; and I cashiered behind the counter of a fancy French bakery. (There, I picked up two habits - one which I still have, the other which I've rid myself of: the desire for strong coffee, and the ability to smoke an unfiltered Gitane cigarette. Ouch!)

The worst Summer job I ever had? Grocery bagger. I accidentally smashed children's fingers, forgot people's food in their shopping carts (trust me, I still remember the unhappy woman who returned to retrieve her forgotten watermelon), and worst of all, I endured the hot sun on my delicate skin. I lasted a day. What was your worst summer job?

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Book Bag: Girls Against Girls

TresSugar — Mon, 18 May 2009 12:10:00 -0700

Gossiping, cyberbullying, "slut-bashing" - girls may not often handle their aggression by punching people in the face, but they have many weapons in their arsenal to cause tremendous pain to others (usually other girls).

So what to do about it? Author Bonnie Burton decided there needed to be a book about mean girls addressed to teens themselves and not just to their parents and teachers, so she wrote Girls Against Girls: Why We Are Mean to Each Other and How We Can Change.

Written in a conversational manner that doesn't talk down to teens but also doesn't try too hard to sound like them, Girls Against Girls reads like something an older, wiser sister who took feminist theory courses in college would write. If you're a teen, you'll get the sense Burton gets you and what you may be going through. (Adult women may find themselves recognizing some of the same behaviors from women in their lives!) To find out what you can learn from Girls Against Girls, read more.

"We live in a culture right now that pits girls against each other. We are brought up socially to be in competition with each other - who has the best body, more boyfriends, better clothes. And this kind of competition can be devastating on female friendships because it emphasizes a mentality that there isn't enough to go around." - Jessica Weiner, author and advice columnist

"Women and girls are taught that it's not OK to be proud of themselves. . .so instead of accentuating their positive traits, they accentuate other girls' negative ones, scoring social points not with their own accomplishments, but by honing in on the faults of others."- Kate Izquierdo, music editor San Francisco Bay Guardian

Although Girls Against Girls operates on a "Sisterhood Is Powerful" premise that suggests women are kind of obliged to be nice to each other for the feminist cause (which may rankle some), I like that Burton zeroes in immediately on the social and cultural contexts that create so-called mean girls. It's not because girls are wired to be catty or vicious to other girls (although hormones and superior communication skills play a part) - it's because we're taught to be nice, not to express anger, to be competitive with other girls, and perhaps because we had a female role model who passed down her mean girls attitude. All of this is a recipe for the girls against girls' wars in school that can include gossiping and escalate to online threats, such that a girl may fear for her safety.

The book is divided in six parts that explain why there are mean girls, how they're mean (cyberbullying didn't exist when I was in junior high or high school - thank God!), how you can deal with it, and when to know that you need to ask an adult to help you. There's also a useful chapter on developing better communication skills (one of the real subjects of the book) and what things you can do to contribute to girl culture rather than ripping it to shreds. All in all, a book a girl these days could use.

Socially Sophisticated? Thank Your Mom

TresSugar — Fri, 15 May 2009 12:00:00 -0700

Last weekend mothers got a big thank you for Mother's Day. If you fancy yourself a person with good social skills, you probably should have given your mom double the love. As you may have guessed, moms play a big role in developing kids' social awareness.

A new study reveals that people whose mothers talked to them about other people's feelings - for example, "When you grab his toy, it makes him sad" versus "Stop it!" - developed better social understanding. Mothers who didn't take a touchy-feely approach were more likely to raise adults lacking social sophistication.

So how did the study measure such skills? It looked at how well children could express a range of emotions, as well as how much they empathized with others. Subjects, who participated in the study for 14 years, were asked to do things like watch The Office and explain the characters' interactions. Sounds fun!

Do you think your mom made you a well-adjusted adult?

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Greg Behrendt Reveals: She Was Just Not That Into Me

TresSugar — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 04:00:00 -0700

He's Just Not That Into You became a bible of sorts for the single woman who didn't want to get blindsided by one more man who didn't call her back. Co-authored by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, it outlined the many things women tell themselves about dates that go nowhere, when really the answer may be. . .yeah, I won't repeat it.

The book that claimed it provided the "no-excuses truth to understanding guys" took some hits from critics who said that its premise - that women should just stifle their desires (to call first, to ask those men what's wrong, to express what they want) - adhered to an old-fashioned vision of womanhood. "Disguised as 'liberation,' " wrote one critic, in a typical slam, "the book espouses an astoundingly passive role for women in relationships: always the pursued, never the pursuer."

But in a standup routine Behrendt did in 2006, he revealed something interesting. Part of the reason he knew so much about men's excuses wasn't just because he was a man. "What I don't tell them," he says tantalizingly, about why he was the guy to write the book was that: "I'm also almost every girl in the book." To listen to a podcast of this standup and to find out what famous person he was obsessed with read more

Unlike a lot of douchebags out there giving advice these days (Steve Ward from Tough Love - I'm talking to you!), Behrendt admits he's been that guy, that is, just like the women he counsels who show they care too much - to someone who doesn't care back as much.

Apparently, he once fell in love with standup comedian/actress Janeane Garofalo, whom he refers to as "the female Kurt Cobain of her generation." How did he express his love? Through mix tapes, late-night drunk dialing, and a general "I'm giving you something - now give it back to me" vibe which, not surprisingly, made her respond to him by "drifting away from [my] freakiness."

This piece of information puts a refreshing spin on the seemingly gender-rigid ideas in the book that bugged critics. May I suggest something, Greg? How about an excerpt of this for an afterward to the next edition of He's Just Not That Into You? Or write a book that talks to both sexes? To listen to this revelation, go to The Moth Podcast.

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Is Bristol Palin a Good Role Model For Teens?

TresSugar — Wed, 06 May 2009 11:00:00 -0700

Now that Bristol Palin is a teenage mother, she's promoting abstinence as a "teen ambassador." Never mind that she told Fox News back in February that abstinence is "unrealistic." Today, on the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, she appears on Good Morning America to express her ~~unwavering~~ somewhat wishy-washy belief in abstinence. When the interviewer asks if abstinence vs. protection is a black or white issue, Palin wanders into a gray area. Check it out.

Do you think Bristol Palin's personal experience makes her a good or a bad spokesperson on the issue of teen pregnancy? And what do you think of the PSA from Candie's - which apparently understands the issue because it makes sexy shoes?

Obama Wants Action and Patience to Get US Back on Course

CitizenSugar — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 18:32:27 -0700

Unsurprisingly, almost every question at tonight's press conference had to do with the economy. President Obama, who said we are beginning to "see signs of progress," took the opportunity to lay out his four priorities moving forward: health care, education, energy, and deficit reduction. When asked why it took him so long to express outrage over AIG's bonuses, Obama said: "It took us a couple of days because I like to know what I’m talking about when I speak." That clearly showed tonight, considering the amount of detail the president shared.

Here are some of the highlights:

On working together: We will recover from this recession. But it will take time, it will take patience, and it will take an understanding that when we all work together, when each of us looks beyond our own short-term interests to the wider set of obligations we have to each other - that's when we succeed. That's when we prosper.
On a new type of prosperity: We know that an economy built on reckless speculation, inflated home prices, and maxed-out credit cards does not create lasting wealth. It creates the illusion of prosperity, and it’s endangered us all.
On the sacrifices of the American people: With respect to the American people, I think folks are sacrificing left and right. They - you’ve got a lot of parents who are cutting back on everything to make sure that their kids can still go to college. You’ve got workers who are deciding to cut an entire day and entire day’s worth of pay so that their fellow co-workers aren’t laid off.

To see what Obama had to say about his critics, and public outrage, read more.

On public outrage: We can't afford to demonize every investor or entrepreneur who tries to make a profit.
On his critics: I’m not going to lie to you. It is tough. As I said, that’s why the critics tend to criticize, but they don’t offer an alternative budget, because even if we were not doing health care, we were not doing energy, we were not doing education, they’d still have a whole bunch of problems in those out years, according to CBO projections.
On how his tax plan would impact charitable giving: I'll tell you what has a significant impact on charitable giving, is a financial crisis and an economy that’s contracting. And so the most important thing that I can do for charitable giving is to fix the economy, to get banks lending again, to get businesses opening their doors again, to get people back to work again. Then I think charities will do just fine.

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