TresSugar

Where the Sidewalk Bends? Shel Silverstein's Dark Side

TresSugar — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Am I the last person to learn that prolific children's poet Shel Silverstein had another life as a writer of decidedly adult content? Feels like it! Besides writing Johnny Cash's hit song "A Boy Named Sue," he started his career at Playboy, where he continued to contribute until his death.

To me, his poems were the epitome of childhood simplicity and playfulness. So, I was surprised to read one of his lesser-known poems, "The Perfect High." With Silverstein's trademark couplets beating like nursery rhymes, the tale of Gimmesome Roy searching for the perfect high reads like a twisted parody of his children's poems. Here's my favorite part of the poem:

"What's happening, Fats?" says Roy with joy, "I've come to state my biz.
I hear you're hip to the perfect trip. Please tell me what it is.
For you can see," says Roy to he, "that I'm about to die,
So for my last ride, Fats, how can I achieve the perfect high?"

"Well, dog my cats!" says Baba Fats. "here's one more burnt-out soul,
Who's looking for some alchemist to turn his trip to gold.
But you won't find it in no dealer's stash, or on no druggist's shelf.
Son, if you would seek the perfect high - find it in yourself."

Did you know about Shel's, um, versatility? Are you surprised?

Product of the Day: Vicodin Jewelry

GiggleSugar — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:00:00 -0700

You know those break-in-case-of-emergency kits on the wall with fire extinguishers inside? That's kinda like what this jewelry is for the Vicodin user. If you don't have your meds with you and find yourself in searing pain, just take a bite out of your earring or ring! I imagine you can just put another one in later. And imagine all the cool guys you'll attract by wearing your ~~heart on your sleeve~~ drugs on your person.

Source and Source

WTF?!

GiggleSugar — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Having babies? Cute. Having teenagers? Not so cute. (On a side note, I watch this and wonder, have there ever been drug ads that worked? Like, someone watched one and said, "No more cocaine for me"? Doubtful.)

The Kenny Powers Ecstasy Dance

GiggleSugar — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 08:00:00 -0700

Ecstasy is one hell of a drug! It seems to make people think they really can dance, dance, dance! Like Kenny Powers here from the HBO show Eastbound and Down. He plays a major league pitcher who lost his arm so he moves back home and becomes a substitute gym teacher. Here, he's trying to impress a lady by being a dancin' fool.

Flashback: Everyone's on Cocaine!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 07:00:00 -0800

Well, that explains everything. By the logic of this old PSA, everyone around you - your mom, your dad, your cat, hell, you too! - is flying on cocaine. Or, in my case, around three cups of coffee in one sitting.

Amazing Resume

GiggleSugar — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 09:00:00 -0800

Hey, you have to play to your strengths, right? That's exactly what a former marijuana-smuggler who served 10 years for importing 75 tons (gulp!) did a couple years ago when he was looking for a job. Good for him! I hope someone hired him. He's got cojones, that's for sure!

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Cat Addicted to String

GiggleSugar — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 04:00:00 -0800

This is the furry face of addiction. It is also the face of codependency. See how this well-intentioned family, desperate to soothe the cries of Michael the cat, instead feed his bottomless need to play with string? Time for A&E's Intervention. This cat is perpetually strung out on string.

Drugged-Up Dentist Kid in New Heavy Metal Video!

GiggleSugar — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 07:00:00 -0800

Remember the adorable kid recovering from a visit to the dentist? Here he is in his long-awaited (in viral vid time) encore performance! Rock on, little guy. You have the heavy metal scream and sophomoric philosophical questioning down pat. Now all we need to do is add some umlauts to your name . . .

The Dentist Has Some Good Drugs!

GiggleSugar — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 11:00:00 -0800

Just ask this kid. First, he questions reality ("Is this real life?"), then he thinks his dad has four eyes, and then his "trip" to the dentist takes a turn for the worst ("Is this going to last forever?"). There are acid casualties watching this right now hoping in vain to find his dealer...

Krack Nuggets!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 12:00:00 -0800

It's no fun enjoying your crack all in one shot. That's why Krack Nuggets are my kind of snack. A little Krack Nugget here, another Krack Nugget there. Krazy, baby!

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