TresSugar

Pregnant, Addicted, and at Risk For Incarceration in SC

TresSugar — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Pregnant and high, 37-year-old Sandria Doremus entered a treatment facility in Greenville, SC, with the hopes that she could get off drugs and properly care for her baby. Her other motivation? She wanted to avoid being incarcerated after she gave birth.

It could easily have happened to her. A hospital reported her drug use to the police - as required by law.

Although this practice has abated, since 1989, at least 126 women in South Carolina have been arrested and charged with harming their fetuses by abusing drug and alcohol, according to the National Advocates For Pregnant Women. Only about 80 pregnant women around the country were arrested on similar charges in the same time period. Although local and state agencies across the country have attempted to prosecute pregnant women for drug use, their cases are usually rejected by the courts.

Although many women say that they're glad they had a chance to clean up and be sober mothers, some women admit that their fear of being arrested kept them from getting treatment earlier.

"These are addicts who become pregnant," says Lynn Paltrow, executive director of the National Advocates For Pregnant Women. "They aren't women who chose to use drugs after becoming pregnant."

What do you think about criminalizing addicted women who get pregnant?

New Orleans Locals Still Homeless After Katrina

LibertySugar — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:00:00 -0700

A unique homelessness situation confronts post-Katrina New Orleans. A recent survey conducted by advocacy groups shows that a majority of the homeless were residents of New Orleans before the hurricane, and lost their jobs and homes as a result.

Figures cited in today's New York Times include:

86 percent of homeless are from the New Orleans area.
60 percent cite Hurricane Katrina as the cause of their homelessness, while 30 percent said they received assistance from FEMA at one time.
80 percent have at least one physical disability, 58 percent have had some kind of addiction, 40 percent are mentally ill, and 19 percent deal with all three issues.
The number of homeless has doubled since Katrina, according to rough estimates.

For an more in depth look at the problem, read more.

One HIV-positive New Orleans native told the paper that he wasn't homeless until Hurricane Katrina. He receives $637 per month in disability income, not enough to pay rent. Despite a rise in need, there has been a decline in resources. Before Katrina, the city had 2,800 shelter beds, now it has 2,000. In addition, FEMA federal trailer parks that house many Hurricane Katrina victims are scheduled to close May 31.

In his new book, President Bush's former press secretary called Katrina "one of the worst disasters in our nation's history" and "one of the biggest disasters in Bush's presidency." Now more than three years later, the local community still faces the difficulty brought by lack of resources.

Do you consider New Orleans' homeless predicament a national or local problem? How can we get those more vulnerable in a crisis - such as the mentally ill, disabled, and drug addicted - back on their feet? Should Congress adopt legislation that would provide $76 million in rent subsidies and services to disabled homeless people in the city, as passed by the Senate last week?

Source

You Asked: Are We Ready For Kids?

DearSugar — Mon, 19 May 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He is a recovering drug addict and was sober when we got together. About a year ago, he relapsed for a few months, began having seizures, lost his job, crashed his car, became homeless, got arrested and almost lost me. After hitting that rock bottom, he got back on track and has been clean for ten months now. We live together and he has gone back to school to get a teaching credential. He's going through a lot emotionally, as most people do in early recovery and my question is about having kids. We both want kids (probably two), with each other but I am 33 and he is 35. As fertility difficulties run in the family, I'm a little worried to wait too much longer. I should also note that he is anxious to have a baby as well. But with everything going on, what will be some signs that we are ready? - Hesitant Heidi

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Hesitant Heidi,

It sounds like you and your boyfriend have been through quite a lot together which is a real testament to your relationship. Though I'm thrilled to hear that he's gotten his life under control, having a baby is a very big step, not only for your relationship, but for you both individually and only you two will know if you're ready - there's no quiz you can take that will give you a yes or no answer. With that said, financial stability, love and dependability are some key ingredients that must be present in order to raise a baby in a happy home so if you feel you both can provide in those ways, you're definitely on the right track.

Although your boyfriend has been sober for 10 months, the chance of another relapse is always in the cards for him so make sure you're willing to take that chance. Of course, age is always something to take into consideration when planning for a family, but getting pregnant prematurely could end up being disastrous. Keep in mind there are many other options available if you both want to be parents so try not to give in to the pressure of your biological clock.

Since this is such a personal decision, I advise you to talk to your boyfriend, weigh the pros and cons of having a baby and follow your gut - it's really the only sign there is! Good luck.

Source

You Asked: Is it Fair for me to Want to Leave?

DearSugar — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar --

I have been married to my husband for just under 5 years. We were incredibly happy until last year. Everything kind of went down hill at the same time, I guess as it always does. Very soon after I had my baby, I discovered that my husband was abusing prescription pain killers. I thought his change of personality was just nerves about being a first time father, but I was sorely mistaken.

To make a long story short, he went to a 28 day rehab and ever since he got out (about 6 months ago), our relationship hasn't been the same. I feel like I don't even know who he is anymore and the person he has since become, I can't stand. He is irritable, snappish, insensitive, he has no interest in the baby, and he never talks to me. In turn, I am finding myself being incredibly mean to him, mostly because I don't know what else to do.

I don't want to be in a marriage like this any longer, but I feel guilty for wanting to leave. I know he is going through a difficult time right now, but I am just not happy - and I know it's not good for my daughter to grow up in this kind of environment. Can I leave him? HELP! -- I'm Done Donna

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear I'm Done Donna

It sounds like you have your hands full here. I am sorry you are going through such a traumatic time in your marriage during what's supposed to be such a happy time. Recovering from drug addiction is not easy and the transition back to "normalness" can take much more than 6 months to figure out. From the sounds of it, you have not experienced drug addiction yourself so while you can feel for your husband, you don't know what he's actually going through, and the fact that he isn't opening up to you is a big part of the problem.

Your harsh reaction to the man you used to love makes me think you are harboring some resentment towards him (a completely normal reaction). Are you currently in therapy as a couple or individually? Is he sticking to his sobriety (his 12 steps or another method)? Opening the lines of communication is vital to making this relationship survive. While you say you don't know him anymore, I am sure he is experiencing similar feelings about himself right now. Overcoming any addiction takes a lot of hard work and dedication, not only from the addict, but from their loved ones as well. Sure, giving up and asking for a separation or divorce is the easy way out - but are you certain that's what you want to do? Shelling out support to your husband may sound daunting and overwhelming, especially with a newborn, but it could be just the thing he needs right now.

Ultimately, the decision is up to you whether or not to stay in this marriage. Yes, it's important for you to be happy, but do you think with the appropriate effort on both your sides you can make it work? It's going to take time until you settle into a new routine, but it can be done if you're willing to give it your all. I wish you luck Donna in whatever decision you make.

Source

DearSugar Needs Your Help: Is It Bad to Date Someone Who Was a Drug Addict?

DearSugar — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and Am I Being Naive? Nikki need your help. She likes this guy but is worried about his drug-abusing past. Should she let this affect her decision to date him?

Dear Sugar,

I have a bit of a dilemma. I'm 21 and going to college in Pennsylvania. I met this great guy online through a close friend of mine. We chatted online and totally clicked, and he said he would love to meet me in the flesh so we can get to know each other better. I'm not so worried about the meeting part, but I am concerned with who he was in the past. I'm not perfect and have definitely made my mistakes - who hasn't, right? - but he was diagnosed with bipolar type II disorder and is a recovering drug addict. He's used heroin but has been sober and clean for more than eight months. Right now, he's living at home, working as a bus boy, and attending community college. Is it bad idea to date someone with such a crazy past? One of my friends says that I'm better than that, and why should an ambitious college girl date an ex heroin junkie? I do like him, and I don't want to be judgmental, but I don't know if it would be a bad idea to date him or not. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

-Am I Being Naive? Nikki

Source

War on Drugs Makes Women the Enemy

TresSugar — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:00:45 -0800

If you've been following the story of Cleveland's alleged serial killer Anthony Sowell, you know it's horrific. Eleven female bodies have been found in and around the man's home, leaving the public wondering how could these crimes go on undetected for years. Writing in the Daily Beast, Cleveland journalist Mansfield Frazier says he knows why: Sowell was able to kill drug-addicted women without anyone noticing because the war on drugs targets women. Let's examine the evidence he uses to support this allegation after the jump.

United Nations: Iran a Model of Drug Addiction Treatment

LibertySugar — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:00:00 -0700

While the UN isn't sanctioning Iran, it's praising the country for its successful efforts to treat drug addiction. The UN Office on Drugs and Crimes says Iran has been more supportive of drug treatment than any other government in the Islamic world.

One to 10 million Iranians (depending who you ask) battle addiction. Abandoning strict punishment a while back, the theocratic government takes the drug problem head on, generously financing numerous treatment centers, providing those not ready to quit with services like free needles, and encouraging citizens to think of addiction as a disease, according to the New York Times.

Even though they don't treat addicts like criminals, Iranians aren't ready to stop all the blaming. To see why Iran thinks America is slowing down their treatment efforts, read more.

Antidrug official say the American military ignores poppy cultivation in Afghanistan, a major cash maker for the Taliban and al Qaeda. One official told the NY Times: “We think the Americans want to keep this source of infection near us. Because of the animosity between Iran and the US, this is the best way to keep our resources and forces occupied.”

Apparently Iran doesn't see drug addiction as a crime, but rather a disease and geopolitical tool. Are you surprised Iranian society and government is so open about drug addiction?

Source

Headline of the Day

GiggleSugar — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 02:00:00 -0700

Sodoku Addicts Halt Drugs Trial

Oh, man. This sounds like an Onion headline, but it's real. In Sydney, a three-month-long trial that cost taxpayers over $1 million is going to be scrapped and started all over again. The jury foreman admitted that about four jurors were playing Sodoku, the numbers sequence game, while listening to testimony. The judge became suspicious when he noticed that some jurors were taking notes vertically, rather than horizontally. It's stories like this one that make me pray my life's fate will never be determined by total strangers with small attention spans.

Source

Marijuana vs. Booze: Between Pot and a Hard Place

TresSugar — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 04:00:34 -0700

When Michael Phelps partied at the University of South Carolina last November, he was reportedly slamming beers and acting obnoxious. But it was smoking marijuana out of a bong that got him suspended from swimming and dropped by sponsors. In the forthcoming book Marijuana Is Safer: So Why Are We Driving People to Drink?, authors Steve Fox, Paul Armentano, and Mason Tvert wonder if our country has it all backwards.

You can read an excerpt from the book, which comes out in September, on Alternet. In it, the authors point out that the Phelps bong photos hit the web on Super Bowl Sunday, as millions of Americans were drinking beers and watching beer commercials on TV - activities that are expected and encouraged.

Marijuana Is Safer looks at the laws governing both substances and attempts to shatter many of the myths associated with marijuana use. When you consider alcoholism and drunk driving, not to mention revenue that legalizing marijuana could bring, do you think our country has it backwards? Which substance do you think is safer?

Serial Cheaters: Sex Addicts or Just Jerks?

TresSugar — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:10:00 -0700

I'm not a big sports fan, but I sure did hear about the big scandal with ESPN sports analyst Steve Phillips. He cheated on his wife with a young production assistant who became unhinged, messed with his family, and the result, not surprisingly, is that he lost his job, and his wife has filed for divorce.

Now that Phillips's life is in a shambles, he's checked into a rehab clinic for sex addiction. People are divided on whether or not this is a real affliction. Some say it's just a way for serial cheaters to hide their sociopathic behavior under a rubric - addiction - that may garner more sympathy from others.

Some therapists, on the other hand, think it's on par with gambling or drug and alcohol addictions. They say that sex addicts use sex for the same reasons other addicts use their drugs: to numb emotional pain or feelings of emptiness, to feel attractive or powerful, or to engage in high-risk behavior that masks underlying depression.

What do you think about serial cheaters who subsequently claim they're sex addicts? Are they sex addicts, or just jerks?