TresSugar

Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew - Will You Tune In?

TresSugar — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 09:13:37 -0700

VH1 has ordered eight episodes of a Celebrity Rehab spinoff that will attempt to clarify sex addiction, an oft-misunderstood illness. Much like the original, Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew will follow a group of people in Los Angeles who struggle with the very real addiction and its destructive side effects. VH1 really sells it with this seductive promo:

For addicts, sex isn’t even pleasurable, but rather a way to escape the pain of past loss, childhood trauma, abuse, and abandonment. Like many other addictions, their habits can cost them their jobs, their marriages, even their lives.

Well, I'm sold! Are you?

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The Doctor Is In: Love and Sex With Dr. Drew, Part II

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 09:00:00 -0800

I hope you all enjoyed part I of my exclusive interview with Dr. Drew yesterday, because I'm back to share part II with you today! There's a lot to cover so I'll get straight to the point - enjoy!

How has dating changed since you started Loveline 25 years ago?

Well the whole hookup culture has now become institutionalized. Before it was not so mainstream. One-night stands were considered relatively disdainful and problematic. Now it's considered the cornerstone of your social life.

What are some of the commonalities and differences between dealing with sex and addiction?

Prepare yourself because I'm going to talk for a couple of minutes about this! One is that sexuality and drugs and alcohol are reinforced in precisely the same part of the brain. So sexual addiction, sexual compulsion, and drug and alcohol addiction really biologically, are really very closely related. And they are also very much about trying to find solutions to emotional disregulation. We have such destroyed family systems in our culture today that people don't get what they need to develop a flexible capacity for emotional regulation. They look to the culture for solutions to that, and the kinds of solutions our culture offers them are drugs, alcohol, and sex; so sex becomes a drug in our culture, when in reality, it's not that, it's a very deeply embedded component of our interpersonal and our emotional life. And we've taken it away from that - we've just expunged it from all that. Not only that, the hookup culture is always an intoxicating experience - always. So it's fueling not only addiction, but substance abuse, and my constant question to college age kids is, well if that's such a cool thing that it needs to be the cornerstone of your social life, why the hell do you always have to be intoxicated? Why is it always an intoxicating experience? And what you find is, they're intoxicated because they are trying to, again, regulate their emotions, trying to suppress feelings, or medicate away feelings in order to tolerate the hookup culture, so it's deeply interconnected on many, many levels.

To hear more from Dr. Drew, read more.

What advice do you have for someone that is in a relationship with an addict?

Go to Al-Anon. Either get out or go to Al-Anon - those are your two choices. If you do neither of those, you are part of the disease and part of the problem.

So do you think a relationship can make it through an addiction?

Yeah, but I tell this to families all the time. If you do not go to a therapist and/or a 12-step program yourself, you are participating in the demise of the person you love. If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem. So to not do anything and expect the addict to get better, the addict will either A) not get better or B) the relationship will not survive.

What's your secret to having a successful relationship after 18 years of marriage?

Oh man, this is complicated, but I do have an opinion about it! I do believe that passionate connection - passionate attraction is important, but it's traitorous. And you have to be prepared, because often times what creates passion is the sickest part of one person connecting with the sickest part of another - so you have to be prepared to do something called process. You have to be prepared to go to therapy, get mental health services when you need to, and work things through - always make sure that you avail yourself of support. Commitment is the other thing - commit to stay in with the relationship, but don't expect things to change if you don't reach out for help. The best thing in the world is a passionate relationship with what we call process.

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The Doctor Is In: Love and Sex With Dr. Drew, Part I

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 10:00:00 -0800

I don't think I've ever shared with you my admiration for Dr. Drew Pinsky, but I've got to say, he's one of my favorite television personalities - and let's be honest, he's pretty sexy too! While he is a physician first, he's made his expertise available to the public via Loveline, Celebrity Rehab, and now Sober House. His approach to helping people is the perfect combination of compassion and tough love, and I was lucky enough to sit down and talk with him about his new project, Sex . . . With Mom and Dad, where Dr. Drew helps families in need of guidance when it comes to the "taboo topic of sex."

In this two-part interview, you'll get to hear his opinion on sex, addiction, relationships, and how the world of dating has changed over the years. Tune in tomorrow for part two.

Why is it so important to talk to kids about sex?

There are multiple reasons. One, it gives parents a chance to shape their behavior and to communicate their values. Number two is, it diminishes the secrecy in a family system, which is always a bad thing. And ultimately, my hope is it'll give parents a chance to help kids examine how deeply embedded sexuality is in their emotional lives, and I think most parents are kind of sensitive to that.

To read more from this interview, read more.

Is it harder for you to talk to the kids or their parents about sex?

It's so different, it's pretty equal, they each have their own challenges. Sometimes it's the parents, when they're so rigid and resistant - I've got to say - sometimes it's the parents. Because the kids usually want to have the conversation, it's just awkward; they don't know how to initiate it, and we really help them break the ice.

What is the best piece of advice you received as a kid about sex?

I didn't receive any guidance or direction when I was a kid, and it was a very confusing time. After I became a physician, it became something I was attuned to. When I had an opportunity to do a radio show, the way I crafted the radio show was, I wished there was a place like that for me to go as a kid. Just having someplace to go with this is what I've always wanted to create for kids.

Be sure to tune in tomorrow to see the rest of my interview with Dr. Drew!

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Is Celebrity Rehab Just Another Voyeuristic Reality Show?

DearSugar — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 11:00:00 -0700

One of my favorite shows is back for its second season tonight and I'm already gearing up for it! If you didn't catch season one of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, tonight's the night to get hooked. As a self-proclaimed reality TV junkie, I've seen a lot, but this show takes an incredibly serious look at the lives of these celebrities and exposes their insecurities and weakness. Just like Intervention, Celebrity Rehab is an effort to get them off the drug of their choice, but throughout the season we get to see them rehab not only through detox, but through therapy as well. Sure, I feel a bit voyeuristic watching these individuals experience such pain and heartache, but seeing the realistic side of fame makes each of the celebrities seem a little more human - just like you and me.

Have you ever seen the show? If so, do you think it's just another attempt to pry into the private lives of celebrities or do you think it's an interesting way to get them clean and sober?

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This Week With DearSugar

DearSugar — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 04:00:00 -0800

In case you missed it, make sure to check out my exclusive two-part interview with Dr. Drew, and hear what he has to say about love, sex, and addiction.
Don't miss my March must haves!
What was your first bra experience like?
Before you turn the clocks this weekend, make sure you check out my five ideas on how you can take advantage of the extra hour of light!
How did your parents meet?
Are you more attracted to a guy with a slender build or an athletic build?
Has a rebound relationship ever worked out for you?
If your guy won't wear a condom, here's a great comeback!
What do you think: Is keeping Plan B in your medicine cabinet a do or a don't?
Tell me ladies, what's your favorite look on a man?

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Who Taught You About Sex?

DearSugar — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Have any of you caught the new show Sex. . . With Mom and Dad on MTV yet? I still haven't figured out its permanent time slot, but I caught an episode last night and I couldn't believe my eyes! The premise of the show is actually brilliant; Dr. Drew, of Loveline fame, challenges teenagers and their parents to talk about sex. And when I say talk about sex, I mean asking personal, tough, and awkward questions, taking field trips and accomplishing tasks requested by Dr. Drew, and opening up about your sexual history. The show's all about taking sex ed to the next level.

As we all know, education is the key to staying safe and protected in the bedroom, but unfortunately, not all families are as open about discussing safe sex as the subjects on this show - I know my parents aren't! So to all you sexually active people out there, tell me, where and how did you learn about sex? Was it from your parents? Your siblings? Your friends? Or did you just teach yourself about the birds and the bees?

Photo courtesy of MTV

Gary Busey: Drug Counselor on Celebrity Rehab

GiggleSugar — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:00:00 -0800

Celebrity Rehab, like A&E's Intervention, is as addictive as any drug out there. I've joked many times that someone's going to have to stage an intervention on my drug-themed reality television viewing habits. If I were a real drug addict, though, I'd pause before I entered a facility that used Gary Busey as an inspirational drug counselor. And yet the madman philosopher with the jacked up face and mesmerizingly solid teeth was chosen by silver-haired fox Dr. Drew for this season's Celebrity Rehab. (Tawny Kitaen didn't seem so amused when his creepy gaze ranged all over her body as he tried to give her "inspiration.") Here is Chelsea Handler, author of Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea voicing more skepticism. Let's play an SAT game, shall we? Gary Busey: Drug Counselor as __ is to __. . .

Are Daddy Issues Real?

DearSugar — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 13:00:00 -0800

If you've ever listened to Dr. Drew Pinsky for an hour, you know a thing or two about daddy issues. While there's no question that the way we're raised and the people who care for us help shape who we are, the notion of daddy issues has always bothered me. I find it frustrating that every time a girl makes a bad decision regarding men, it must mean she has daddy issues, and every time a woman has a less-than-ideal relationship with her father, she'll always be attracted to that same kind of man.

I don't question that a relationship (or lack thereof) with your father can have a profound effect on your life, but I do not think that it necessarily means a woman is incapable of having a healthy relationship with a man. What do you think? Are daddy issues real?

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