TresSugar

Sunday Confessional: I Lost My Sister's Favorite Jacket

DearSugar — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

I'm a forgetful person by nature and my older sister takes every opportunity possible to call me irresponsible.

Friday night her boyfriend surprised her and took her away for the night to celebrate their anniversary. She asked me to feed her cat while she was gone since I have a set of her keys, so while at her place, I browsed through her closet. I decided to borrow her leather jacket that I've always loved to wear out that night - I figured she'd never realize it was gone!

Later that evening, I went out with my friends, admittedly drank too much and went home with a guy I had been flirting with all night. In the morning, I rushed out of his place in order to get back to my sister's to feed her cat. As soon as I got out of the cab, I realized I had left her jacket in the backseat! My heart sank; it's her favorite article of clothing and she didn't even give me permission to borrow it! I've been guilt-ridden for the past two days and have no idea what to do. My sister is going to be furious with me and I just can't face her disappointment, even though I know I deserve it. I haven't mentioned it to her and I'm contemplating not saying anything at all. Can I be forgiven if I let her think someone else took it or that she herself lost it?

Source

Do Tell: Have a Friend's Actions Ever Made You See Them Differently?

DearSugar — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Just because you know someone really well, doesn’t mean that they can’t surprise you from time to time - in fact, many would say a little mystery in a relationship is a good thing! But what happens when what they surprise you with isn’t so great? If what they do is a disappointment, or worse, a betrayal, I wonder if it’s possible to see the person in the same light again. Just as we can’t forget the good memories, it can be difficult to erase the bad ones too. So ladies, please share your experiences. Do tell: Have a friend’s actions or behavior ever made you suddenly think differently of them?

Source

Handle This: You Hate Your Engagement Ring

DearSugar — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Although you knew you and your boyfriend would be getting married in the near future, recently he surprised you with a proposal. You were thrilled, but the ring leaves something to be desired. It’s not your style and not very pretty. You were going to ask him if you could return it, but then he told you it was a family heirloom - his grandmother’s ring! Your friends say it would be too horrible to say something, but you really don’t like it! How would you handle this?

Source

You Asked: Is Our Anniversary Ruined?

DearSugar — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My fourth wedding anniversary is coming up at the end of this month. Every year, my husband and I try to take a vacation around this holiday. The problem is I plan the trip every year but have a lot going on with work right now and the stress of planning is just too overwhelming. I conveyed this to my husband and he said he would take on the task. I was a little apprehensive at first, maybe due to my own issues with control, but I got over it and agreed. Well here is the problem; we are now two weeks away from our anniversary and he has yet to plan anything! Last night, we looked online at some places within driving distance, but truth be told, I am a little upset that he didn't make more of an effort to plan something special. I fear that now, I will have to come up with something last minute. Why is it so hard to get a man to make plans?! - Disappointed Dina

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Disappointed Dina,

I don't need to tell you that men are a different breed than women, and unfortunately, many men lack the planning gene. Of course it's disappointing that your husband hasn't already booked a wonderfully romantic getaway, but could he be surprising you with something? Is he the type to fake you out, lead you to believe that he didn't plan anything, all the while having something amazing up his sleeve? If that's just wishful thinking, your anniversary trip can still be great even if it is planned last minute.

Since you're obviously frustrated, tell your husband that you're upset that he didn't put forth more of an effort. If you hold onto your anger, it could turn into resentment rather quickly, so I suggest nipping it in the bud ASAP. Once you have that off your chest, take an hour or two each night to research your options and go from there. Lately it feels like there aren't enough hours in the day for anyone, so if you have to push out your trip by a week or two, do it if it means going someplace really special. In other words, don't just settle on a destination you can drive to if you usually use this vacation time to jetset somewhere unique. If you take the last-minute route, be sure to search the Internet for deals - many times traveling last-minute pays off. Good luck and happy anniversary!

Source

Group Therapy: Boyfriendlessness

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 10:06:21 -0800

I'm nearing the end of university, and I haven't been in a relationship. I'm so pleased with all else I've been able to do at university - academically and otherwise. But I can't rid myself of the nagging sense that I haven't experienced this romantic rite of passage - the first relationship. I've had opportunities, but they haven't felt right. I suppose I don't have a question exactly, but any suggestions on how to cope?

Source

Hillary Talks Sexism, Obama's Job Offer, and Mad Men to Vogue

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:00:35 -0800

Hillary Clinton finally sat down for a long-overdue Vogue interview. She offended editor Anna Wintour during the primaries by turning down the fashion mag out fear of looking "too feminine." And though she won't be on the December cover, the article is as substantial and satisfying as a cover story.

From night swimming alone to her favorite shows (Mad Men!), we see a side of Madame Secretary that all the vetting in the world would not unearth. See some of what she had to say below.

On visiting countries as a high-ranking female: "You can go to some countries and there's not a woman in the room. They don't even make the effort to give me the token woman minister. . . . And in lots of African countries the honorific for women is 'Mama.' So I had lots of people say to me, 'Mama, what about this; Mama, what about that?'"

On President Obama's job offer: "I was stunned after the election when President Obama asked me to consider this. . . . I really was very unconvinced. I did not think it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to do it. I just really had a lot of doubts, and I kept suggesting other people: Well, how about this person! How about that person! This one would be really good! But then a friend of mine called me and basically said, 'How would you have felt if you'd been elected and you'd called him and asked him to do this?' And that really made a big impression on me. How do you say no? And so . . . I said yes. And here I am."

On Mad Men: "That's how it was! That's why the women's-liberation movement was so shocking. It was like news from outer space"

See what else she had to say after the jump.

How Do I Handle This Strip Club Situation?

Tres Community — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:00:15 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

First of all my husband and I have been married for half of a year now. He's in the Navy and just got deployed, but right before the deployment he was sent to Hawaii for one day. I dropped him off at the airport and it was so hard for me to let him go. He called from Hawaii and we talked for five minutes then he said he had to go and he would call back.

As I was checking our bank account to check on the bills I noticed he had paid to go in to some type of club. While crying my eyes out because of how much I already missed him and knowing he wasn't coming home any time soon, I waited for him to call back. When he finally did I got him to tell me the truth and it turned out to be a strip club. This was his first time going into a strip club. The problem is that I feel so offended and disrespected. I know I'm not unattractive, and I'm very open minded in our sex life. So to me it seems as if I'm not enough for him, and that he didn't care about how I feel about strip clubs. The fact that he was lusting over those girls makes me so angry and upset.

To see the rest, .

When we talked I was so mad and disappointed and couldn't stop crying. But after a while I realized that I've been told not to say anything negative or upsetting to him since he was going on deployment to a very stressful environment. I won't be able to talk to him at all while he's gone, I can only send emails but I can't confront him there either. So I had to pretend that I got over it and that I was OK, so he wouldn't feel bad and guilty. But in reality I feel so disgusted and can't take the thought of him wanting someone else. I'm alone and don't have any family here, this is our first deployment and I'm still trying to handle it. He made things so much worse for me, now I'm not just worried about his safety, but also at the thought of when he goes to a port he's going to cheat on me. I'm just hurt and feel resentment towards him, but for as long as he's out I have to pretend I'm fine and support him through the emails. I know some people might think I'm over reacting, but to me this is just like cheating.

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

Grab Bag! How to Throw a Party Like a Lady

TresSugar — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:00:28 -0800

January Jones's disappointing appearance on SNL did include one funny-ish skit on how to throw a party like a lady. - The Frisky
Parents get warmer reactions if they reveal they're expecting a boy rather than a girl. - Salon
10 actors who look fierce in drag. - Lemondrop
Meghan McCain weighs in on whether sex tapes matter. - The Daily Beast
You won't believe what's in this dessert. - Glamour
No better training for politics than motherhood? - DoubleX
11 reasons to date a church-going guy. - Your Tango
This is the week of TV guest stars. Get ready for Lady Gaga, Heather Locklear, and James Franco. - BuzzSugar

Who's Your Favorite Female Author?

TresSugar — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 09:00:00 -0800

It's no secret that we love female writers around here at Sugar HQ, but according to Publishers Weekly, no book written by a woman was good enough to make the list of the top 10 titles of 2009. Maybe it's time for women to start taking masculine pen names again.

In response to the disappointing list, the group Women in Letters and Literary Arts (WILLA) has put together a list of books that were overlooked, written by authors like Lorrie Moore, Rita Dove, Margaret Atwood, Alice Munro, Mavis Gallant, and Alicia Ostriker.

I thought it could be fun to make our own list of amazing female authors. So tell me: who is your favorite author, who also happens to be a woman? (And if you're looking for books written by either sex, check out our list of November must reads.)

Source: Flickr User netsella

Obama's Foursome Finally Includes a Woman

TresSugar — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:10:00 -0700

The 44th president has played 24 rounds of golf (who's counting?) since he came to office. How many women have been invited along with the golfer in chief? One. This weekend, President Obama's chief domestic policy adviser Melody Barnes became the first woman to play golf with the president.

Last week, Obama sounded pretty enlightened about modern gender roles. He said that after he had kids, he realized that Michelle should not be solely responsible for running the house just because she's a woman. But it seems that Obama has been having a hard time translating these enlightened ideas to sports, as he typically plays basketball and golf with men only.

Hanging out socially with the boss is always good for career advancement, and it's a bit disappointing that the president was perpetuating the idea that these traditionally all-male activities are still for for members of the "boys club." Hopefully any of the sporty women on staff will now feel welcome to play in these very visible games.

Have you ever felt excluded from activities (social or work-related) because you're a woman?