I wish I had this kid's excuse for my potty mouth. Every time an expletive flew from my pie hole, I could just say, "I'm so sorry if I offended you. I am simply unable to pronounce words properly." (I'm sure that would work like a charm.) Read more

While this dude is on location and reporting on a high school tragedy, the unthinkable happens. A germy insect. Flies. Into his mouth. Gasp! And when the bug flies in, all of the mounting irritations and annoyances of the day fly out. Someone's clearly not a happy country camper. (Warning: Foul language up ahead!) Read more

Drop Dead Fred, a wickedly immature comedy about maintaining imaginary friends into adulthood and blaming "them" for one's obscene behavior, was one of my fave movies in the early '90s — naturally. The irreverent tyke in the following scene portrays the protagonist as a young girl. Her response to her mother's lame-ass bedtime story is quite possibly the best advice any growing girl (or grown Read more

I'm sure this British Telecom telemarketer was accustomed to getting hung up on or yelled at by irritated customers, but nothing could have prepared him for the ranting and cussing and sheer volume outta the next customer on his list of peeps to call. My unsolicited advice? This customer needs to calm the f*ck down, watch this simple instructional vid, and save himself a heart attack. And this Read more

But do they taste as bitter as f*cking advertised? Thanks, eBaum's World! Read more

I think we just found the counterpart to this lazy bum. A whole night of partying left both of them in a sluggish morning funk. But the cat below ain't gonna let a wake-up call get in the way of his hangover. No sirree, bird. And he has a few choice words for the dude who dared to wake him. . . Read more