TresSugar

Do Tell: Who Have You Had a Crush on That You Shouldn't?

DearSugar — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Sometimes you just can't help who you fall for, but if you're crushing on someone that you really shouldn't be liking, you've got to use your inner strength to squash those feelings for good. Since we're all anonymous here, I'm curious to know who you've had a crush on that was technically off-limits. Was it your teacher? The guy your friend had a crush on? Or worse, your best friend's husband?

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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Should I Leave My Fiance Before He Leaves Me?

DearSugar — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and Almost a Bride Amanda need your help. Her fiance just confessed to having feelings for another woman, but their wedding is less than two months away. She is at a total loss as to what to do next - do you have any advice?

Dear Sugar,

I am supposed to be getting married in seven weeks and everything is ready to go - invitations go out next week. Two nights ago, my fiance told me that he has a crush on a girl he works with. He hadn't been open with me about his feelings until now, but looking back, I realize that he's lied to me on numerous occasions and then made me feel like I was being a crazy and jealous girlfriend.

He says he loves me and doesn't want to break up, but he also says he has reservations now because of these feelings for this girl. He wants to work on things and says he doesn't want to call off the wedding, but I am worried that I am going to end up with no groom on our wedding day. This basically came out of nowhere and I feel totally blindsided. I love him very much and really want to spend my life with him, but now I'm wondering if I should just get out of this relationship before he leaves me even more brokenhearted than I already am. Help! - Almost a Bride Amanda

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You Asked: Is It Too Soon to Ask Her Out?

DearSugar — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 12:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I currently work with a woman who recently broke up with her boyfriend. Last year she thought he might be cheating on her and when she confronted him about it, he denied everything. She trusted him and let things go on, however last month, she found out the truth and broke up with him - she is completely heartbroken.

The few months leading up to their split, she would talk to me everyday about her situation; she'd ask for my advice, she'd ask for my support, and it seemed like she genuinely enjoyed my company. Nothing ever happened between us, but now that she is single again, I was wondering if you think it would be a good idea for me to ask her out? - Proceeding With Caution Chris

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Proceeding With Caution Chris,

You say your co-worker is heartbroken, so while she's technically fair game, I'd give her a little time to mourn her failed relationship. In the meantime, continue to be her friend, but make sure you don't take on the role of her new best girlfriend - make subtle hints here and there to let her know you're interested in something more, but I advise you not to ask her out just yet in case she's not ready to be back in the dating scene again. Keep feeling out the situation, and when the time is right, I say go for it - ask her out - you have nothing to lose! Good luck.

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Group Therapy: My New Guy Might Have a Crush

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 11:00:00 -0700

I started dating this guy about five weeks ago and things are going well. We're not exclusive yet and we haven't slept together. My problem is that I'm pretty sure he has a crush on another girl, one who won't give him the time of day. When he finds something funny, he posts it on her Facebook page with a note, instead of posting it on mine. She almost never writes back. There are times when we've gone out, and I'm pretty sure he's invited her too, but she says no. She's nine years younger than I am; his age is in between the two of us. So how do I know if this is just an innocent crush or if I'm his second choice, so to speak? I wish he'd think of me when he saw something funny. What do I do?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Dear Poll: Which Character Was Your Favorite?

DearSugar — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:00:00 -0700

All the 90210 talk has really got me reminiscing about the original series and how much I loved it, especially those Beverly Hills guys! Although I was an incredibly loyal viewer, I wasn't so true to my crushes throughout the years. I started out liking Dylan the best, only to crush later on his best friend Brandon, but at the end of their 10-year run, I was committed to David Silver - who knew he'd turn out so hot? I have a feeling I'm not the only one that had a thing for these characters, so tell me, who was your all-time favorite 90210 stud?

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Dear Poll: Have You Met a Significant Other at Work?

DearSugar — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 14:00:00 -0700

People, myself included, are always saying that it’s best to date outside of your job for fear of professional repercussions, but when you’re around the same people day after day, it’s inevitable that connections are made. In fact, I have a friend who had never been at a new job without meeting a new guy, the last of whom she married! So regardless of the arguments against it, have you ever met a significant other on the job?

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Handle This: He Admits to Having a Crush on Another Girl

DearSugar — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700

You and your boyfriend have always valued honesty above all else, so when he starts acting somewhat distant, you’re quick to inquire as to what’s going on. At first he shrugs and says it’s nothing, but after a few more weeks of the same behavior, you’re concerned.

When you ask him to confide in you, he reluctantly reveals that he has a crush on another girl. He didn’t want to tell you because he knew it would pass eventually, but he’s had her on his mind. How would you handle this?

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Handle This: Humiliated in Front of Your Crush

DearSugar — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700

For the past few months, you’ve been pining away for your best friend’s coworker who you met at a happy hour. You haven’t pursued anything because he’s been dating another girl on and off but when one of his social networking profiles alerts you to his newly single status, you IM your friend in excitement.

She doesn't respond, but she calls you later that night to tell you that her laptop had been hooked up to the projector in the conference room when you messaged her. Unfortunately, she was in a meeting with your crush and his boss, and she didn’t close the window in time; they saw everything. Your friend is humiliated and so are you. How do you handle this?

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You Asked: How Do I Express My Feelings?

DearSugar — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I recently went on a "date" with an acquaintance from college. We had recently been interacting through an online social network, and she happened to be visiting the city I was in at the moment. We met up and had some good conversation over coffee. It lasted four hours, and the time flew by quickly. During the date I noticed her playing with her hair, smiling, and mimicking my actions. All signs of flirting or showing interest, I heard. As we talked I became more and more attracted her; she has qualities that I really like in a female companion, and we related on a lot of similar topics. Now there is a possibility that she may be in town again visiting family. We said that we will try and meet up if possible.

How do I go about expressing my feelings to her? How do I know if she feels the same? We had an amazing time and there was definitely a connection, but I also do not want to lose our friendship over this.

- Full of Emotions Emmet

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Full of Emotions Emmet,

It definitely sounds like your crush enjoyed her time with you, and after you hang out with her again, I'm sure you'll feel more certain about her feelings. Unfortunately one of the most difficult things about starting a relationship is that it requires you to put yourself out there. And of course once you do, you make yourself vulnerable to rejection and, potentially, the loss of a friend. But you also become available to gaining something really special.

Since it's still early on, try giving things a bit more time to develop. I wouldn't be surprised if after you've spent more time together, a moment will arise when sharing your feelings would seem natural. In the meantime, there's nothing wrong with just coming out and saying that you're having a great time with her and would love to do more together; just be sure to follow through! All that matters in the end is that you're honest about your feelings and respectful of hers; any woman will appreciate that.

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Sunday Confessional: I Have Feelings For My Best Friend's Boyfriend

DearSugar — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I've been close with my best friend for nearly eight years. We were roommates in our freshman year of college, and have been practically inseparable ever since. About a year ago she started dating a guy whom we met through a friend of mine. At the time we both had a goofy crush on him, and when they started dating I was happy for her. But as their relationship developed, my feelings for him only grew. We all spend a lot of time together, and I've come to know him really well. I won't go into all the reasons why I feel such a connection with him, but my feelings are incredibly strong. It's gotten to the point where I can't be around them together without experiencing a lot of frustration and sadness.

On the one hand, I'm glad my friend's happy, but on the other, I wish it was me. Though I would never compromise my friendship or their relationship by acting on my emotions, I still feel incredibly guilty for spending so much time thinking about my best friend's man, and even worse, secretly wishing things wouldn't work out for them. Can I be forgiven for these inappropriate feelings?

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