It's hard to believe that there's been a dearth of tacky things for me to ask you guys about, but it's true. Until today. I ran into a link featuring pictures of celebrity tattoos, and holy guacamole are these things tacky.
It's If You Had To... Douches Wild edition! On your left, Mystery, the pickup artist who turns nice guys into douches on VH1's The Pickup Artist.
The illusionist (how's that different from a magician again?) Criss Angel performs some trick so that it looks like a child turns into a 20-year-old. I'm actually not all that interested in this trick. (She's standing on a table, I'm sure something's going on under the table we don't know about.) Instead, I was too busy being unsettled by his approaching an 8-year-old child and turning her into a barely legal adult, especially when he asks her mother, "Can I try something with your daughter?"
This chick has
Magician Criss Angel and Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis.
Source
Look, I know that melodramatic Criss Angel and David Blaine are talented magicians, but their self-hype borders on self-parody. That's why a parody like this one is hardly necessary but welcome nevertheless. Presenting: Criss Angel, as you've unfortunately seen him a bazillion times before.
In what may have been 2008's most predictable race — more predictable, even, than Javier Bardem's Oscar for No Country For Old Men — the results are in for this year's biggest celebrity douchebag poll. The winner, by a stunning margin, is The Hills' Spencer Pratt.
It's nearly impossible to find a photo of Spencer without Heidi.
A long time ago I had a roommate who was in a heavy metal band. He sold pizza during the day, lived in a closet-sized room, and rocked out at night. He was trying to come up with inspiration for their show one weekend, and I casually suggested, "Put a mime on stage who's totally serious."